#11. How to lose yourself in the moment

I’ve recently become more interested in becoming more mindful and aware of what I am doing through meditation and attending yoga classes. This post is sort of a follow on from my previous post about finding your ‘purpose’ in life. One of those purposes I listed was experiencing certain sensations or feelings which make you feel ‘alive’.

Sometimes, you can feel like life is going by, day after day, week after week, month after month and you feel like you haven’t been present at all. If someone asked you what you ate for breakfast, you can’t even remember anymore! Probably the same thing you always do… Weet bix crunch or wait did I even eat breakfast today?

Anyways, a lot of people say they feel like they live when they go on holidays or when they go away to some beach and relax. For people suffering from mental or physical illnesses, it is sometimes good to try ‘distract’ yourself to forgetting your problems.

Everyone does this to certain extents I believe. I’ve had a brain storm of different ways I believe people distract themselves from reality.

1. Living in denial, just pretending everything is okay. Having false hope is better than no hope? Having temporary amnesia…problems? What problems?

2. Moving their body! This can encapsulate (just wanted to use this long word) things like dancing, exercising, jogging or other forms of exercises and sports. For me personally, when I am doing Zumba or hip-hop I feel like I can forget myself for the moment and just focus on trying to not look like a flapping bird flamingo.

women s assorted sports bras raising their pink dumbbells
Photo by bruce mars on Pexels.com

3. The wonderful world of art and music! Whether they lose them-self in an art gallery or artistic indie film, art was formed to represent a world that might not exist. This also includes animation, movies and dramas. If I don’t like where I am, I rather lose myself by imagining that I am someone else and live someone else’s life. Some songs also can take me away to another place, whether to a particular memory or specific time when I heard that song. Beautiful music is like dessert for the soul. When you attend the concert, it feels like you are in another world, staring at your favourite idols on stage!

photo of concert band during night time
Photo by Thibault Trillet on Pexels.com

4. Similar to the arts, literature is also a great way to escape. Whether you are a reader, writer or both, this is an excellent way to escape from reality and to lose yourself in another world. You can be instantly transported into the realm of Harry Potter or into the majestic land of Frodo. You can spin stories of alternate universes that can only exist in your vivid imagination and creativity.

5. Pleasure and self-gratification. I guess pleasant experiences belong in this category, maybe you have eaten a delicious cake, got a sensual massage or had sex. Anything that pleases you and helps you forget the pain, or maybe you are addicted to the number of ‘LIKES’ you got on your latest Instagram photo.

6. *I just want to put it out there, I don’t support the use of illicit substances and their abuse of alcohol. I am just stating that this may be some people’s coping methods with stress and their ‘escape’ from reality.* Substances such as alcohol or drugs  to numb the pain (*cue Linking Park-I’ve become so numb song here*). Sometimes when you can’t sleep at night or feel like you can’t escape from all the feelings, people turn to medications-sleeping tablets, tranquilizers or alcohol to be able to sleep and to relax and to help them sleep.

addiction adult capsule capsules
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

7. Sleep and the dreaming. I only recently learn more about Lucid Dreaming, basically this is basically where you teach yourself to realise that you are in a dream and then you can basically control what happens in your dream, instead of letting the control to you. I don’t know much about this topic YET, but when I do I will make another post on how to try have these lucid dreams. I believe it is a way that you can learn more about your sub-consciousness and to redo things in the past.

adorable animal baby cat
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

8. Charity and the addiction to doing good. People tend to forget themselves when they are so busy doing good to others. For example, if you have a gout in your toe, but you suddenly find yourself in a war-torn country, are you more likely to care about those dying around your or focus on your pain? I guess this can extend to the career driver people aswell, who are just so busy with work, they forget themselves.

group of person phoot
Photo by Suraphat Nuea-on on Pexels.com

9. Relationships-unhealthy and healthy ones. Sometimes people live for their relationships, whether mother and child, son and father or love etc. People live for the sake of pleasing or being with other people. A hug with the right person, dog or pillow could erase the troubles of the day. Or even a healthy relationship with you bed can help too!

10. Have you seen the free sky show in the evening each day? it is more beautiful and grander than anything that we could recreate by humans. Nature is beautiful, perfect and designed by a master. It often takes my breath away, when I give it a chance to!

aerial photo of amazon river
Photo by Johannes Plenio on Pexels.com

 

Question:

What recently took your breath away?

 

Take care,

Joy

#10 How to find meaning in your life

Having a reason to get up each morning is important, having a reason to eat healthily and to exercise is important…Having a reason to breathe and continue living despite all that happens is important…I hope you see my point?

So, what happens if you realise you don’t know why you are on this earth? What if you are still lost and confused and not sure why you do the things you do?

Hopefully, this post will explore some common reasons why people live and why it should be based on many things and always be evolving and changing… 🙂

1. Some people live for their children or their future children.

They want to leave their legacy and invest the rest of their lives investing in the lives of their children, to help bring them up to be good and successful adults.

2. Some people live for their career. Career driven people may forsake other loves and interests in turn to pursue being the “best” or the “top” of their profession. These people could be astronauts, prime ministers, the wife of a Prince, an actor or someone who devotes their life solely on their work. People like Einstein…

3. Some people live to do good essentially. Similar to those who live for their career, these people however live their lives spreading love and goodness to those who need it. People who come into mind is Mother Theresa or Gandhi.

4. People who live to enjoy their lives . I guess they just live to please them self? They may have lots of money and like to spend it on lavish holidays, newest handbags or latest fashion. If you live to get the newest iPhone or apple watch, that’s cool and that is totally up to you!

5. Living for a spiritual reason. Some people find solace and find peace that they were put on this earth for a reason. This could be those who devote their life to serving in their church, temple or other religious place of gathering. Some may even be called to be evangelists to spread the gospel throughout the world, I guess this could be their calling.

6. Those who live for their hobbies! Some people in their spare time or hobbies, feel like they live to do them. For example, I have many friends who are obsessed with a certain sport such as badminton, volleyball or table tennis. This is the highlight of their week, this is where most of their friends are and where they spend a majority of their time at after work or school. There is nothing wrong to want to live to do these fun things. It is a healthy way to maintain your fitness and also to make new friends.

7. Some people live to look after their pets/animals. I thought I would add this one, in case you don’t see yourself having kids, but you might have 10 cats who depend on you to look after them, that is one important reason to live.

8. Live for those who matter to you, i.e. Friends, family and those who may look up to you. Our circle of influence is wider than we think! If people heard that you did something awesome like volunteer to help kids in 3rd world countries, that story can be passed to some family friends kids nephews cousin and they may be inspired to do the same! There is nothing wrong for living to see your friends and as it has been said before, life is all about the relationships you have. Whether you have a special someone or not, really good friends you can share with make life so much more colourful and meaningful. So take care to develop and care for your friends :)!

9. Live to make a positive difference in the world. This one is quite broad and encapsulates a few points that have already been mentioned. Whether you make an invention, discover a new drug or were the first to fly to Mars, I hope you aim high! Whether it’s small or big, all of us have left our imprint on this earth in some way or other. Whether you are a mother who gave birth to child who continued the line of the human race, or you were the important garbage collector who dutifully did their job to the gratefulness of others….everyone is important, big or small, recognised or unrecognised. Can I just put a note here, that a really good book I recommend you to read is ‘The Five people you meet in Heaven’, that explains this concept well.

10.  To travel and experience different life experiences, like Sky Diving or eating delicious foods!! I personally love traveling around the world and learning about other people’s cultures and learning new languages. I hope I can go to every country before I die! It’s just so exciting and thrilling to leave on a holiday to a whole another world. Some people live to eat yummy foods around the world, just remember to check your cholesterol regularly!

These are some of the suggestions that I can think of to live a meaningful life, I am sure there are many more other reasons!

As I said, we can have more than one reason and I think it is better to have many reasons to live.

A great link that I found on this topic is this article:

Question for you guys:

What do you feel your purpose in life is? 

 

Take care and see you next time!

 

Joy

 

brown toy box character
Photo by Lisa Fotios on Pexels.com

#9 How to Be Happy

As winter hits Australia, the weather has turned gloomy and dreary and the incidence of depression and sadness seems to be abounding everywhere.

But, it doesn’t have to be that way! There are a few ways that you might be able to keep that fire burning through this cold season and still get a bit of a laugh and cheer back into your system! These are not fool-proof ways to lift your mood, but it has worked for me and a few others! So, let me tell you how you can lift your mood in 10 quick ways.

  1. Put some colour around you! There was a Ted talk I watched that showed by painting workplaces and classrooms with colour, lifted the mood of the children and workers and also increased productivity (for the workers) and decreased vandals (at the school!). Why do we throw confetti of multiple colours rather than one confetti? Because it makes us happy! Rainbows and colourful things tend to brighten up the room and atmosphere, whilst grey, black and white often dampen it.
  2. Cuddle something cute! Whether that’s a dog, cat, hamster or a baby! Their smile and cuteness will lift your spirit! Their playful innocence will sure turn every frown upside down! ( *only if you like kids and animals*) 
  3. Listen to your favourite music! Have an upbeat and funky or inspiring music to get you lifted out of that depressed mood! No emo or sad breakup songs here, please!
  4. Watch some funny YouTubers! The great thing about YouTube is that it is free and there is some great content out there! Some recommended comedy acts/people that I personally follow are good include Lilly Singh ( she is the best! ), Domics, NigaHiga and The Wonderful world of Wengie! That laugh is priceless and healthy for your soul.. 🙂
  5. If you have access to Netflix or some other way to watch shows, watch a comedy show! Netflix I know has Ricky and Morty (SO FUNNY!!), Simpsons, I dunno what other shows… hmm Big Bang Theory!! No sad or crazy crime shows though please! No 13 reasons why!
  6. Go for a jog or some other exercise! It has been proven that inactivity can spur on depressed mood and by exercising increases your endorphins and acts like a natural anti-depressant for your mood! Give it a go! It’s free anyways!
  7. Spend time with people you love and cherish and form real connections with them…You will be so surprised, that the burden of those hidden feelings of sadness, struggles, and mental health illness that you don’t want anyone to know about, is lessened when you are open to sharing. You will be surprised at just about how many people have been in the same boat as you and that they also want someone to confide in. The above-mentioned YouTubers, Lilly, Ryan and Wengie, all had struggled in their teens and in childhood through bullying or depression. But, they overcame and you can overcome too.
  8. Do something good for someone else. This may seem counterproductive, but when you stop focusing on yourself and start focusing on someone else’s needs, you realise, oh maybe I am not the only one with problems. By helping others, you essentially are helping yourself too. The appreciation for YOU .. I can’t explain, is a feeling that you cannot buy. But, it is freely given, when you go out of the way to help someone that you do not need to. By volunteering, or helping an elderly neighbour pull in the bin, you are like that friendly neighbourhood superhero.  
  9. Go to the mirror and just laugh at yourself for a good minute or two then do a silly dance up and down, and do it like no one’s watching.  Then think of a happy memory and just bask in those happy memories and remember you have been happy and that you WILL be happy again. If you can’t remember a happy moment, go Youtube a funny cat video or read the cartoon section of the newspaper!!!!!! Remember this is just an off day or a small phase in your life that you WILL get over.. Positivity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! + + +
  10. Hang out with positive people and try to avoid those who known to be quite negative and cynical about life. If you can’t meet them up, give them a call or a text.  If you don’t have many friends like that, just hang out watching positive Youtube stars and idols and write down the attributes that you want to have eventually, you will get there too.

 

I hope that you can sincerely find some moments of happiness in your life, things may be looking bleak now, but the future will be brighter. I promise!

If you feel this depression has persistently lasted more than a day or two, please consider seeking professional medical advice and help. Remember, it is okay not to be okay and the strong have often become that way through overcoming their weaknesses.

Practice your Smile :)!

Question for you

blue green orange and red rainbow design decoration
Photo by Ghost Presenter on Pexels.com

:What do you do that makes you smile?

See you next post!

*Video now up*

#8 How to Love Yourself

artistic blossom bright clouds
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Howdy! Hope you guys have been well? If not, I hope this post will cheer you up!

I have been getting lots of inspiration for future posts lately! From friends, family and from watching or reading other people’s works…some of the upcoming posts will be about…how to be happy, how to not procrastinate and also one about things we wish we were taught in high school.

But, before I do these other subjects, one subject that hits close to home and that’s about learning to Love Yourself. 

Before we can learn to try love others, I think an important thing to do is to learn to love yourself, in my opinion, I don’t think you can’t truly love someone else, without first loving yourself first. I think so many girls and boys crave a relationship because they feel unloved, unfulfilled and they believe that by finding someone to love and to be loved, that they will become more loveable?

But this is not true…finding that significant other does not mean that all your troubles, insecurities and bad habits disappear…far from it if you ask me…more insecurities, troubles, and problems come than go…

Anyways! Here are my top tips for learning and taking the step to loving yourself today!

#1. Reflect on your past and give yourself a clap on the back in how far you have come.

You might not be there yet, but you have come so far and I am so proud of you *clap clap*. You may think you have not achieved anything, but did you graduate primary school? High school? Uni? Get your license? Get your own car or house? A part-time job? You’ve done more than you thought!

#2. Look at yourself in the mirror and appreciate how you look right now!

You won’t ever look this young or old again! You are you and people will see the real beauty if they get to know you more.

#3. Be grateful for the things you have.

It is easy to get jealous or unhappy that you do not have the latest Michael Khor handbag or can’t afford that awesome cute mini cooper that girl at work has…but hey you have your little trusty grey 2012 Toyota Yaris and it still works! Hurrah!

#4. Take care of the wonderful beautiful body you have been gifted with!

Take care of what you put in your mouth ( make sure its nutritious!), exercise, do meditation or yoga to look after your mental and stress levels…and remember to laugh each day! 🙂

#5. Notice and realise when you are having negative thoughts about yourself or if you start to compare yourself to other people.

You can write in a blog or diary to help clear your mind of negative thoughts. Negative thoughts don’t need to be killed, you can acknowledge them and then choose not to act upon them, they are just THOUGHTS…they will not control what you do, UNLESS you act upon them.

#6. Remember, you are YOU and you are a work of art, you are a masterpiece.

People like you for who YOU are…not who they “THINK” you are.  Find people who think like you and have similar interests, who don’t put you down for being YOU. They don’t deserve you! Coz you are awesome!

#7. Don’t take yourself so seriously!

So, you failed…so you screwed up? It is not the end of the world! Lot’s of successful people screwed up when they first started doing something, the reason why they are successful is not that they gave up or had it easy, it is because they did not give up when the going got tough…the tough get going!

#8. It is never too late to start again or to start something new.

The only regret you can have is not trying at all. It is easy to make all sorts of excuses that it is too late, I am too old, I can’t do it…These are negative self-talk to stop us from leaving our comfort zones! This stops us from making progress to things and goals that matter to us, it is never too late…okay! Unless you are dead. Then its too late.

#9. Try smile once a day!

You look beautiful with that smile! And you will also make friends too 😉 [Read my How To make friends post ]

#10. Remember, you are awesome!

If you can’t think of one reason why you are awesome, I will tell you now…You are reading this post from some random person you may have never met and you are going to share this with one friend who you think needs to love themselves!

#loveyourself

Thanks for reading and please remember that in order to love others more effectively, yo have to LOVE YOURSELF FIRST!

See you next post!

LOVE YOU! ❤

Video to be up soon!! (When I am feeling better zzZ)

black and white color splash fountain pen hand
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

#7 How to Say NO and to say YES to yourself

sayingno.pngAn important part of being an adult is the ability to manage your own affairs and your schedule.

Not being able to say NO to people or things may actually lead to a lot of mental health issues, such as stress, anxiety, and depression. By not putting yourself, your family or the values you stand by first can open that door to mental illnesses. You are essentially allowing other people or things to control your schedule, finances and your maybe even your sanity.

You may feel guilty or selfish if you say NO to someone who asks you to do something. But in fact, they can easily ask someone else, do it themselves or find a way around it. BUT if they know that you always say YES to everything and seem like the person that won’t refuse, they won’t make the effort themselves to ask other people….

And hence, that’s why you shouldn’t always say YES to everything, because some people in this world are actually ‘selfish’, lazy and may just be using you or taking you for granted.

The truth is, if you say NO to them, it is not the end of the world…if they make you feel guilty or coerce you into doing something you don’t want to…are they even worthy to be your friend? Are they a loving family member? Or are they a good employer?

To be able to ask these questions though, you need quite a good sense of security in who you are. Often, it is due to our insecurities that we don’t say NO to people. We fear that we will get left out, people will hate us… What if when we need help, other people won’t help us?
( Of course, if we can help, we are free and we feel we aren’t being used, there’s nothing wrong with that…)


But if someone is constantly asking you to do their dirty work for them, because they know you will, it’s time to read this post and start doing something positive for yourself from today!

  1. Know yourself and feel secure

This is much harder than it sounds…being secure means essentially that you accept the way you are and who you are. By being yourself, and not pretending to be someone else you are able to essentially relax and not be on your guard all the time, in case someone finds out who you truly are. Take some time to know what you like, what you dislike and how people make you feel when you are around them. Do you feel like you always have to pretend to like what others do, when you rather do something else? But because you have that “

As Dr. Seuss said, “Those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter”

Well said, sir!

  1. You always have a choice

When things go wrong, is it easy to blame others for “telling or making you do it” -but by looking back at the situation objectively, most of us had a choice and some choose to let themselves be controlled. Maybe it was by their own desire for money, fame or fortune…but honestly, if it is important to you do it– but if you are only doing it because you are afraid of what will happen if you don’t and about someone being upset if you don’t- then think again why you are doing what you are doing. Remember, you always have a choice and others may not have as much control over as your mind tells you it does.

  1. It is perfectly fine to not be fine

    I think this is an important point, you don’t have to pretend to be okay all the time. If your friend is feeling sick and suddenly cancels on you, do you:
    A-Immediately think they are lying and get angry at them for bailing on you at the last minute
    B-Reassure them that their health is more important than going out when they are sick and ask if there is anything you can help them to get better?

    If you chose A…would you want someone to think that about you?

    If you chose B…I think you are a good friend and sometimes… you need to be able to be a good friend to yourself. However, most of us are harder on ourselves than with other people…Many treat themselves quite brutally, myself included.

    If you take yourself outside of your current situation and look at it objectively and pretend to see yourself in third person for, you may find it is easier to think clearer, “Are my actions really that bad?”

    Everyone gets sick, everyone gets depressed or anxious at some stage in their life…and it is up to us to be more understanding and more empathetic towards them…Because we probably want them to do the same when we are in the same situation.

A lot of people, myself included, have never realised we have such a bad habit of saying YES to everything and not being able to say NO…this leads us to have overcrowded and often stressful schedules, lending money and possessions, time and doing a whole lot of stuff we didn’t really want to do. We forget that we have been “asked” and not “requested” to do a lot of these things. A real friend isn’t going to unfriend you because you said no to a coffee date because you had an assignment due the next day or because you didn’t have any sleep yesterday. I think a lot of times people think they are more important than they actually are…but to be honest, people are always somewhat replaceable.

I hope this post will inspire you to think twice the next time you are asked to do something you don’t really want to.

Two posts in one week!! *Procrastination to the max*

See you next post 😉

Take care! -Video is up!

#6 How to get rich or die trying

Do you want to get rich and famous easily? Here are some tips and tricks to get yourself known and famous !

I have a confession to make, when I see someone I knew from high school or primary school that is now rolling in $$ and success…I do feel a tinge of jealousy and a teeny weeny bit of envy! How did they have the idea to create that website or app?? How did they know to invest in Bitcoin 10 years ago?! Why didn’t I think of that!

I am not sure how many people are like me..? But anyways…I have examined some of the common ways that I know people have become successful and how you (maybe) can try and mimic them! Just a disclaimer* These ideas are not full proof! I can’t promise you that it will get you $$, famous or successful…nothing in life is easy! It will require a sacrifice of time, money and is risky and it will take a lot of hard work!

  1. Make yourself internet famous! This is a popular way to get popular these days! Maybe you could start making videos on youtube and maybe one day they will go viral (or not)! There are some famous singers, such as Justin Bieber who were discovered on Youtube! It is like an online virtual stage! You can either be judged as really bad and get boo’ed off that stage..or it could doors being open to you…! Other notable famous Youtubers include Pewdie Pie, Niga Higa, and Wengie! Many of these YouTubers have branched outside Youtube, some have started singing (Wengie) and Niga Higa has gone on to star in some movies! It is also a useful way to sell merchandise or other side projects which can help make you $$. Also, I want to mention on Youtube, not only can you get money from the ads which viewers may interact with on your site, but you can also get it from sponsors who want you to feature products on your videos.
  2. Know how to invest in shares in the stock market, into foreign exchange or into Cyber Currency! I do none of the above, but I do have some friends who are pretty good at this! I have friends who regularly monitor the Stock exchange and do lots of research into different companies which are up and rising and have the potential to be worth a lot in a few years! Apparently, some of my friends say this is like gambling though…There is a risk that your investment may lose you  money in the long run, however a friend who has done quite well has been able to buy a house @_@. Apparently health is a good industry to invest in, especially hospitals -because this is something that is always going to be in demand. My great grandmother that used to live in Hong Kong but is now deceased (RIP) was known to be really good at checking the exchange rates for different currencies and purchasing money when it was at a good low price then selling it when the demand for it went higher! She was able to live comfortably in a nice apartment in HK by doing this and sustaining herself and her children. Pretty smart! I have a few internet geek friends who are good with cyber currency…They know what to invest in and how to make a lot of money from crypto currency…While I do possess a milli-bitcoin my friend gave to me as a gift..aside from that I have been too scared to invest in any online currency myself…It is quite risky, but that’s why people are able to get rich! Because they were willing to take the risk. All I can say is that I don’t advise you to put your life savings into it..have a backup plan and make sure you have done your research thoroughly before investing. The last thing you want to do is accidentally give all your money to a fake dealer and get nothing..! Also, this way requires a lot of time too, daily you probably will have to regularly check the way your currency is doing, to find good times to buy and sell.
  3. Write a good book- we all have heard of J.K Rowling and how she shot to fame with her Harry Potter series!!! This one requires some skills in writing and having creative ideas or topics to write about! I am not an author myself, so I am not sure how you get started… I assume you send your book or manuscript to prospective publishers who you then have to convince to publish your book. I have read that, depending on how much you Publisher thinks you will succeed is the amount of money and time they will put in promoting your book…so Yeah this may require a lot of self-promoting yourself through your own social media sites or other platforms…maybe through your FB group or Podcasts?
  4. Become a Radio Host or Podcaster! Not sure how to do this either..but we have heard of really popular radio hosts, such as Hamish and Andy in Australia! They are just so funny! They have decided to stop being on the radio now and have moved to Podcasts! But yeah they are just so funny, creative and original – so much so the fans of their show will follow them no matter where they go. Comedy Podcasts aren’t the only successful one, another Podcast I follow is ‘No Such Thing as a Fish’ -which is a weekly podcast that discusses four facts that the hosts have thought was interesting throughout the week. Not only is it educational, it is also funny and entertaining. This avenue requires you to be witty, quick on your feet and have an interesting or unique voice! No one likes a monotone voice (usually)!
  5. Start a useful niche application or website! Names that come to mind is the PayPal Website, eBay,  Facebook, Instagram, Google, Amazon or Spotify.  The creators of these websites are really really well off…They are successful for filling a niche or creating something unique that others haven’t done yet. Other people that have been successful with phone apps, is Kayla Itsines ( we went to the same primary school apparently ) who started a fitness app that people could subscribe to. This app includes fitness workouts people can do at the gym. It was a niche at that time and now she is making millions (apparently).
  6. Create a successful drink or restaurant! Has anyone heard of Boost Juice? It actually started off in King William Street in Adelaide, South Australia! Now I’ve seen it around the world in Singapore and Malaysia! It all started with the creator, Janine Ellis doing something that others hadn’t done….making health(ier) option for drinks asides from soft drinks and beers. So yeah! She’s a good example of a drink entrepreneur. Who hasn’t heard of KFC? Some may know the story of how Colonel Sanders first established his now well-known fast-food chain. It is actually a really inspiring type of story of someone going from rags to riches. In a nutshell, after numerous failed attempts at making a successful living, at an old age- he finally found his pot of gold at the end of the rainbow…or should I say the pot of Kentucky Fried Chicken?
  7. Discover a life-saving or create a blockbuster drug! This is no easy process and not all of us are scientists or pharmacists. Well, I can say, those who created the best selling drug- a cholesterol-lowering drug is very very rich. It is used all over the word to lower cholesterol and has lead to people living longer. Discovering new antibiotics is a good way to make money, the only problem is that it takes a very long time from discovery to actually being able to legally sell the drug and hence it takes a very long time for you to finally make money. A lot of money is also needed to invest in clinical trials and drug trials before it can even be marketed to humans. If you want to know a bit more about the process, feel free to email me.
  8. Invent something that everyone needs or everyone uses. I.e. The toilet! The sink! Sanitary tampons or pads! These are just some household things that most people in the first world country use and that each girl may have. Just think of things you can’t live without, laptop, Microsoft, pens, pencils, bras, underwears, toilet paper mirrors ! Etc..and then you have something that people will continue to buy and you will forever make money off until some other new invention removes the need for it.
  9. Study a course that leads to a really high paying and stable job. Some that come to mind are doctors, dentists, optometrists, engineers and university professors. This is probably a very Asian way of thinking…while this may lead to a good income, if you don’t personally like the occupation, I wouldn’t recommend it. In my opinion, it is better for you and your clients/patients to do something you are passionate about.
  10. Get married into a royal family! This one is very hard to do….I mean it’s not every day that Prince Charming is sitting at the bar that you frequently go to… But yeah, If you are lucky enough to marry a Prince, I am pretty sure you are set for life! As long as the monarchy doesn’t die or go bankrupt or you get a divorce…then you are set for life and can have more corgis than the current queen!

    Those are my 10 tips for getting famous and rich! 

    Do you have anything to add?

    Leave your comments below and I will add them to the list!

    Thanks for reading and see you next week!

 

#5 How to understand someone with Autism -The Myths and Misconceptions about someone with Autism

There are many myths and misconceptions about autism, hopefully this post will help you learn more about autism and dispel some myths about autism.

pexels-photo-262272.jpeg

*update*

Here is the Video if you prefer listening to reading!

There are many misconceptions about autism, as many people may only know about it from movies and tv shows…but what is it really? Is everyone autistic good at chess, have supernatural savant abilities or are they all non-verbal? Hopefully, this post will help dispells some common myths and misconceptions about autism.

Myth #1: Autism is like how that movie or TV show portrayed autism is for everyone!

When I say the word Autism, what immediately comes to mind? Is it Raymond the autistic savant in Rain man? Or the equally autistic savant surgeon Dr Shaun Murphy in the Good doctor? Or perhaps it is Sheldon from the Big Bang theory who displays autistic traits?

If TV shows and movies are not your thing… Maybe you have experienced a personal encounter with autism in your childhood. Perhaps, you remember that “special kid” in your class that had trouble communicating with the rest of the class or was often disruptive and non-verbal.

Those with autism are often labelled as strange, weird or quirky and often feel ostracised and often become the victims of bullying at school and also in the workplace.

Myth #2: Only boys get autism! Girls don’t!
It was believed previously that there is that there is a 3:1 ratio of diagnosis of autism in boys in comparison to girls. But, current research and efforts to improve the sensitivity of diagnostic testing for autism has revealed that the number of girls is actually higher than they initially thought. The ratio is most likely to be closer to 2:1 ratio autism in boys to girls.

Why is this the case?

This could be from a multitude of factors, but one particular factor is the difference in the way boys and girls tend to act and also the greater understanding of the different signs and symptoms of autism.

In my opinion, girls tend to live a more sheltered life with a lot of them having their behaviour modified at a young age by their mother or father. Girls tend to be better at mimicking and almost like a chameleon trying to blend in with other girls their age. They may have also grown up with ‘neurotypical’ females around them who they copy, either a sister or a close friend/relative, who then teach and mentor them to act like they are “supposed to”. Boy’s don’t tend to do that as much and hence autistic boys are more likely to be diagnosed at an earlier age and if at all in comparison to girls.

These boys are able to get the help they need to help modify their abnormal behaviours and mindsets at an earlier age. Many girls unfortunately who have pretended to be ‘normal’, seep through the cracks in getting diagnosed and thus grow up struggling to understand why they never seem to fit in with others.

Some questions they may ask themselves:

  • Why do I never know what to say or do in certain social circumstances?
  • How come everyone else knows naturally what to do or say?
  • How can I know if this person is my friend or not? Do they like me or not?
  • How does body language work and why does it matter?
  • What does my tone of voice have to do with anything?

These are only some of the questions autistic people may ask themselves…

Myth# 3: You don’t look like you are autistic! You don’t have to look autistic, to be autistic

Often people misconceptions about people with autism may say, “You can’t be autistic, you don’t look like it!” This can make us who may have autistic feel upset, angry or guilty…are you accusing us of lying and fabricating our diagnosis? You haven’t ever lived in or walked in our shoes before.

Let me ask you, “Does someone have to look like they have high blood pressure to have it? Or does someone have to look like they have kidney cancer to have kidney cancer?”

Physical appearance and attributes are not the only diagnostic markers of people with diseases and if at all for autism.

It’s like judging a book by its cover, you can assume ANYTHING about the book, but unless you open it t and read it, you will not know what is inside.

Myth #4: All autistic people are the same

Autism manifests uniquely differently in each individual and one size does not fit all. Autism has actually been redefined as the ‘Autistic Spectrum Disorder’: It could mean you could be on the more severe ‘Low functioning’ side of the ‘spectrum’ here you may not be even able to speak or communicate with others. On the other hand, you could be ‘ High functioning’ side and live a relatively ‘normal life’, like holding down a steady job, get married and even have kids.

Does that mean that some suffer more than the other? Or does high functioning autistic people not count as having autism? No… they are still autistic and they deserve the help and support that anyone struggling with autism needs.

#Myth #5: Autistic can’t communicate at all and don’t understand other people

I’ve had friends say, when I disclosed my potential for having autism, “You communicate so well and I ‘ve known you so long, surely you can’t have autism”. As Myth number 4 says, autism manifests differently in everyone and everyone is at a different place in the spectrum. Some people on the spectrum are better at copying ‘social norms’ better than others and hence they are able to imitate how to act. This may fool others and maybe even themselves that they are ‘normal’.

Myth #6 You can only get autism as a kid and then you grow out of it

Unfortunately, this is not the case, autism is a lifelong condition. It is a neurodevelopmental disorder that happens from birth and at current, there is no known ‘cure’ for it, there is also evidence that it is a genetically passed on disorder from generation to generation, so it can run in families. The only treatment at the moment is behaviour modification from a young age and education for those who may know someone who is affected by autism to be more understanding. However, despite not having a cure for autism, you can still live quite a fulfilling and full life with the appropriate help and support from others.

Fact #7 People with Autism cannot be diagnosed as an adult

As I said, many people, especially females slip through the cracks and can go undiagnosed for many years by acting out their charade. However, when they get found out or if the charade goes wrong, it can lead to mental breakdowns, health problems or relationship breakdowns which may lead them to see a psychologist, doctor or psychiatrist about their mental issues…which they could eventually lead to a diagnosis of autism and this can be as an adult.

Myth #8: Autistic people do not have any emotions and they can never love anyone else or anything

Definitely not true! It’s just that autistic people may show their love and affection in different ways to the way ‘neurotypical’ people may perceive as normal. They definitely are able to love animals and pets, and pets for young kids with autism is a good way to teach them nurturing habits and pets also decrease anxiety in both adults and children. Autistic people can also get married and have kids, they may be at more risk of communication issues in their relationships, but with some work and help from others, they can make it work.

Myth #9 Autistic people can’t be successful or useful people in society

This definitely is the biggest myth of all in my opinion! There are many people in history who are suspected to have had autism or have displayed common autistic traits that may indicate they have autism. Famous people such as Mozart, Albert Einstein, and Isaac Newton have all demonstrated autistic-like traits. Well, known people of today that are suspected to be on the spectrum, (but not officially confirmed) are Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg and Tim Burton. Some well-known people who have come out as saying they are on the autism spectrum is the singer and winner of Britain’s Got Talent; Susan Boyle, the creator of Pokemon, Satoshi Tajiri and Temple Grandit, a famous animal behaviour expert.

Myth #10 People with autism either have intellectual disabilities or have savant Abilities

As you should be well aware by now, not everyone has a special ability such as a photographic memory, and everyone with autism doesn’t have a learning disorder. Autistic Savants are actually quite rare and please do not assume all autistic people have difficulty learning, yes they may have some difficulties understanding abstract concepts and some learning methods, but their IQ is often normal or above average. In saying that, it is possible for someone with autism to also concurrently have learning disabilities.

I hope this post has been helpful in dispelling some of the myths in regards to autism! If you noticed anything incorrect or you want to add something, feel free to leave a comment below! Like always, follow, subscribe and like if you enjoyed or found this post useful! As this is an important issue for me-I am going to post a video with the same information too…

See you next week!

Joy

“How to” Make Friends- Video is up!

Hi! I ‘ve finally made my first “How to Video” and this is on a topic that is close to me, how to avoid or reduce Social Isolation caused by feeling lonely.

 

You can be living with your spouse, family or friends but still feel lonely…

These are some tips and tricks from friends, family and from my own experiences in making new friends.

Hopefully, you will be able to make some new friends this way!

A new blog post will be up soon!

It’s never too late to make new friends 🙂

Be sure to leave a comment below if you have tips on making new friends!

Catch you next time!