A common question I suppose that people that do not have mental illnesses may ask, is..
“How could someone be so stupid to hurt themselves?”
“Don’t be silly, you wouldn’t do that to yourself!”
“How can you be so selfish…thinking about yourself all the time?”.
“Don’t you know by trying to kill yourself, you will make us be sad?”
People who don’t understand mock and make fun of vulnerable people…and yet people wonder why there are so many people that are hurting inside and are afraid to show it…suicidal and people who self-harm are scared..often they don’t want to bring attention to themselves.
Well meaning people that love someone suicidal…make them say ..
“Promise me you will never do that again?”
Do you know what I think that means to me?
If I get suicidal thoughts, I won’t tell you …because I can see how sad it makes you and how upset it makes you…
People who want to end their lives, don’t do it because they want to hurt those who love them around them…they want to lessen the burden that those around them feel..
Often they know they are worried about them…and want to remove that burden from them
Sometimes perhaps no one cares about them and no one would care that they died.
Each case it is different…but most often or not…they just want an end to their suffering…
When getting up each day is a struggle…why would you get up at all? When each day feels meaningless, bleak , hopeless and painful…Why would you want to face the day?
When a simple task like brushing your teeth takes you an hours to get the energy for it…why even bother?
Eating…SO MUCH EFFORT
I know to some this sounds like “laziness” but this can also be called “depression”.
Before you judge someone else for being “lazy”…why don’t you ask them “How are you doing…honestly?”
The world is full of judgmental people…where are all the nice people gone?
Sometimes…we are hurting so much inside…wearing that mask all the time..no one knows how you feel..
Others only notice that you aren’t talking to them as much..
But they don’t really want to know how you are…they just talk to you so that they can talk about themselves. I am sure we are all guilty of it at some stage…but like when it’s like that all the time…the time and energy that we already don’t have…is expended on you…it sucks all energy that is remaining.
So sorry, if I don’t seem like I care about your problems…however, trivial or serious they may be. I need my cup to be full before I can fill yours. I feel like I am lying through my teeth when I try to cheer you up, when I am so down myself.
I care, I just need to care about my self too.