Why we want to look ‘good’

So I had a discussion with a colleague earlier this week about how this particular person always wears suits to work… I have never seen him not wearing a suit to work…It doesn’t matter how hot, or cold it is…you will always find him wearing a suit.

Out of curiosity, I asked “Do you always wear a suit when out?” and he said, “Yes, I never leave my house without wearing a suit”.  I was like “but WHYYY??” and he said, “It makes him feel good” (Or at least I think he said something like that)… I found that to be pretty incredible/admirable! That must take a lot of time and effort to make sure the suit is ironed, not dirty and that everything matches… But then I thought to myself…girls also put an incredible amount of time in order to prepare to go out…I know some people NEVER leave the house without a face full of makeup…does not matter how far, how long, or how close they are going…who they are seeing…nope ALWAYS have to make up on. I put it down to perhaps how confident we feel about how we look…some people rarely/never wear makeup because they are confident in how they look and don’t care about how others will judge them…

I am not one of them sadly…most days I spend at least half an hour (if I get up in time) to straighten my naturally messy hair..covering up my imperfections on my skin and making sure my clothes look neat…but yeah sadly I did not do that today…and I legit look like a hobo ..when I finally looked at myself in the mirror… 😦 I woke up late and was running late to get to somewhere…and yeah I feel so self-conscious…like is everyone looking at me ?? ? …I guess if trying to look good makes us feel more confident, secure…then why not?

Peace and Joy~

 

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Click here Support me to write a book !! 

Dreams stay dreams when you don’t plan and set goals to achieve…

Another update?… :O but not really…

This post is just in regards to my newly set up page on Gofundme website!! I am hoping if I get enough support I will be able to someday publish my own book -all about ‘Becoming an adult in this modern world’…

The link is here ..!  *Please click-not click bait I swear*

I’ve decided I need to start aggressively (passive aggressively?) start chasing my dream of writing a book, because if I procrastinate forever, when am I every going to get started right? Who knows when I will finally get the motivation to chase after something that seems so hard, no better day than today. I hope that’s the same for you…if we just keep dreaming that some day we will do this, or wait for perfect timing…sometimes its good to be inpatient and just start chasing it…because maybe the perfect timing is now. You’ll never be as young as you are now…so go forth and use your youth!!

Thanks to everyone for your support! Whether you support financially, from the computer, or in spirit, I appreciate all your kind words, time to read this post, and for even clicking on this blog in the first place :)))

It’s almost been one year since this blogs inception and since then my content has changed tremendously…but I hope it can still be relevant and help or touch people in positive ways… Thank you for all the viewers, the likes and my precious followers…yo mean the world to me :)))

Peace and Joy ❤

 

The Art of Tidying Up – Marie Kondo

A few months ago, I was visiting my sister…and she was like… “Come and see how awesome my sock drawer is!”…as she proudly showed me the neatly folded up socks in their own individual square. My sister explained to me, by folding your socks this way, you save time and you also lessen the chance that you will destroy the elastic in your socks. A bonus is that it looks so neat and cute! This was the first time (that I remember) I heard of the now well-known name.. “Marie Kondo”. This was the day I became a Konvert. I could not wait to go home and do the same thing to my sock drawer…and then proceed to spread the discovery of this wonder to my mother…and anyone else that would listen…

I was so excited…I felt this was more than just the tidying up in a different way of my socks…it was deeper in a sense that…I had to break an old habit and make a new one. The old way is comfortable, familiar and seemed easy …but when shown this new and more efficient way…I realised…maybe I have been doing it wrong my whole life.

It almost does certainly feel like a religion! For the next few days and weeks…I spent a lot of time Tidying up my room. After I finished my sock drawer, I went on with the underwear, the sports clothes drawer, the leggings and singlets…and then it was t-shirts and shorts… I went out and bought extra containers to separate my clothes. Eventually…I came to a stand still…there are a whole bunch of clothes hanging up…its so hard…I can’t choose which to keep and which to throw…and then I began my procrastination. My fervour was gone…less time was spent tidying. I still folded my clothes different…but it was with less joy and it was not as visually appealing as before.

Isn’t that true with life in general? We can whole heartedly pursue a new goal, dream and hobby! We get obsessed with it…we feel like that’s all that matters in life…it becomes the focus of all our attention. Then… we become familiar with it, we get slack, we get disinterested…and something else pops up and we forget all about it. Does this ring true for anyone?

How do we keep going and keep pursuing something when we have lost interest? Do we fight at it? Or will it just come back naturally?

I don’t know the answer for you…but for myself…I believe that if the motives behind my doing something is align with my inner values and beliefs…that I will go back to what I started/did. For example, as a young child in primary school, I hated being told what to do…my mother made me learn piano but I hated it! I hated practicing…I don’t like those songs we learn either. EWW. I wanted to instead play the VIOLIN. For some reason I thought it would be wayyyy cooler and I would naturally want to practice at it. To my surprise, my parents agreed and I got to stop my piano classes and take up violin instead…

Then started the weekly classes, then the rehearsals for orchestra…and my mum was getting excited…her child was performing! But, something happened…I got an infection over my finger…and I used that as an excuse not to play…I had inwardly not grown to love the violin…I secretly regretted every changing! Violin I found was wayyy harder to play than the piano…I had to tune the violin, set up the neck rest…which was hard to get used to…and I had to look after the bow and keep it clean and pack the violin carefully away in its case. It was a lot of things to remember for a young kiddo. After taking that break…I never went back, probably to my parents and grandparents disappointment.

Fast track a few years later I am in high school now… I didn’t choose music as a subject as I hadn’t didn’t play an instrument anymore. I just so happened to meet two friend who were doing music…one played the violin and the other played piano…suddenly I also wanted to join back in…I didn’t feel like I wanted to pick up the violin again…so I went back to taking piano classes and I sneaked back into music classes once again.

This time I got a new piano teacher, I told her I didn’t want to learn from those boring graded books anymore, instead I asked if I can learn my favourite theme songs from my favourite anime at that time, Naruto. (Yes, I am was a sad otaku back then…). Loving the background music from those anime, motivated me..inspired me and made me want to practice so I could also play the music that I was passionate and interested in. I no longer needed my mother to push me to practice, it was more like the opposite… I think at the time I probably annoyed the family by playing the piano so much…I would play for hours and they would get annoyed because they wanted to watch tv but they couldn’t hear what was being said. SORRY…!. Well, since that time I haven’t really stopped playing. I still listen out for good music, whether it be songs or background music and seek to learn them….Music for me has always been a way to escape..to forget the present…and allows me to transport myself to somewhere else. It’s the most beautiful noise I think we can make. I don’t know how to explain it and I am not sure how I got to this topic…but hopefully you can find what motivates you and find the reason to keep going and pursuing what makes you tick.

I believe I will get back into the tidying…because the reason why I do it is because of efficiency and I love that feeling of neatness and tidiness. In order to feel good however, first we have to go through the tidying process which can be quite uncomfortable because it makes us face the mess in our lives and actually deal with the problem at hand. I watched the netflix show…but haven’t read her book as of yet, if you haven’t checked out Marie Kondo…I  highly recommend doing it!!

-Konvert

How to build Resilience

 

So today I want to talk about resilience… this was a topic brought up in my class earlier this week…

How do we even define resilience?

Why do some people seem more resilient than others? 

How can we develop this resilience?

These are all valid questions that one may have..because I think we all sort of know what resilience looks like…and it can look very different to different people and that’s okay.

For me personally, I would define resilience as someone or something that does not give up even though they are being knocked down time and time again, or they fail again and again…or they seem to be losing, but they do not lose hope. The picture that comes into mind is two people playing a singles game of badminton, there is one player that is clearly better than the other, yet the weaker player are not phased… they are focused, they are not giving up in the face of the competition before them. Despite everyone around them knowing that this is a hopeless battle, they do not admit defeat and do not surrender with out giving the game their best shot. To these people I applaud them..for their bravery of even daring to try. So many times I don’t even want to try at something that looks too difficult or that it would make me look bad…

So why is it that some people seem more resilient than others? Examining those around me…I think of my younger brother, the youngest in the family and the one whom I feel does not have much resilience in the face of adversity yet. At the moment he is looking for a job, but he has not gotten even one interview. Has he given up? Sort of. From all the rejection letters and non responses, he instead spends him time continuing to play games or go out with friends instead of job hunting. He says, it’s the course that I studied-it’s a dead end that leads to no jobs. Sure that may be true, but who said it is the degree that gets you a job? I believe resilience is developed with age, experience and life experiences…and for him whose only every worked one job in his life…which was given to him on a plate…he has narrow view of the working world and what it takes to fight for the hob you want. The world is often a very unfair and unjust world and sometimes we feel like we have to fight our way into opportunities…

How, then can someone develop resilience? If it is so important, then shouldn’t we all work hard to get it? I think it comes in the face of adversity…and also as I learnt in class, it also depends on what else is going in your life at the same time. I believe I am usually a resilient person…I have gone through many trials, tests and set backs…and I have grown stronger through them. However, there is one such dark time in my life, where so many things went wrong at the same time and my world crumbled down…until there was no resilience left in me at all. I lost my job, my relationship broke down and I was diagnosed with a medical diagnosis.   Everything that could possibly be taken from me was taken from me and I was faced with medical costs…no jobs and a lack of insight for my future. At the time, I really had no strength to go on. You know what helped me regain my resilience again? It was the people around me…the family, the doctors, the counsellors and people that I thought would have never been there for me who helped me through. Sometimes we need help to become resilient again. You have to start rebuilding your new normal. You have to write down, reflect and remember what lessons you learnt at that time and remind yourself, you don’t want to be down there again.

I don’t think there is a formula for resilience. But like exercise we can do our best to practice it regularly and when times of adversity come, we can flex those resilience muscles which can hopefully help us through.

Sooo I finally finished my exam… I have spent a lot of my free time this year studying for said exam and now that it is finished…I honestly feel a bit of loss at what to do. Sure I have million things I need to do..But yeah settling into this ‘New Normal’ is both scary yet exhilarating. Isn’t it funny how you only work up a list of all these things you need to do when you don’t have the time to do it? When you do have time, you feel like procrastinating…? Only me? Never mind then! 

Comparisons

Comparisons. Unfortunately, we all do it. Whether or not its intentional or it just happens. It’s hard to avoid, but it can be toxic as.

We compare ourselves in an attempt for us to supposedly feel better.

At least I am not as evil as her!

At least I didn’t make the same mistake as them

At least I am better than them.

We also do it to make ourselves worse…

Why wasn’t I chosen for the new position? I thought I was as good as they were.

If only I was taller, smarter, prettier, richer, popular… as them

How come they get that and I don’t…I wish I was more like them.

Not great examples..but I hope you get my point. In a round about way, and as most motivational self-help hippy guidebooks would probably say…

Just compare yourself to who you were before.

But I mean it doesn’t always work…What if you were fatter now than before? What if you were pretty and then something happened and you aren’t considered pretty anymore?

 

I am not even sure what this post was even supposed to be about. Some sort of ramble about comparing yourself to others being bad. I think we should try avoid it as much as we can. Just sort of see it as, oh okay…I didn’t get the promotion…maybe I am meant to do something else…or perhaps it’s a sign I should look for a new job…if they seem to be overlooking me… I am determined to finish this post on a slightly positive note…

If one door closes, then another is probably about to open…we just have to stop focusing on the closed door…and realise it may have have to be closed to open the way for new opportunities.

Three days to D-Day ….. ;o

Good intentions

Over the last few days…I have been thinking about blog posts that I could write about..ideas that might sound good…and then …I did NOT write them down and now I have forgotten them 😦

Like all things in life, if we do not take grasp of something tightly enough, it will slip from our hands easily…

For example, when I am stressed..I tend to snack more..I don’t eat more food…I just LOVE snacking…whether its nuts, pretzels (yumm), chips…you name it and I probably have eaten it. It is an extremely unhealthy habit of mine….I just stock up and hoard a WHOLE lot of junk food…some which turns out to taste bad…yet I force myself to eat it..because I bought it already you know…so yeah no doubt about it….feed yourself unhealthy things and you become unhealthy!!

Cue the never ending headaches…the pimples :(..the bad sleep…the poor immune system… sads… but yeah but my point is…we have to be careful what we put in our mouths..or our heads… if we think to ourselves we *need* that coffee to survive…that snack to study…then we feed ourselves lies. Because, we can prove ourselves wrong…maybe not on the first, second or even twelfth time…but we can do it ..because with all addictions we started off not being addicted…

It’s sad how addiction has been so closely linked to bad things…I wish more often that I would be addicted to doing good…or being nice…But like all things even doing good should be in moderation…coz if you are so generous you gave away all your money…then ..that’s just a poor decision.

Anyways, I have to stop my procrastination …5 more days to D-Day.. 😮

Rant on Stressing

Call me anti-social…or whatever.. but I don’t enjoy hanging out/spending time with people that I honestly don’t care about. Sounds weird…rude..even but it’s true..Maybe I am weird.? Selfish? I feel like there are many people that I deeply care about that I haven’t had much time to catch up with, I don’t want to waste my time with people who won’t appreciate my presence and vice versa. This might be because lately I’ve been a bit stressed and short on time…

I have been working non-stop everyday…this week was really busy…I had to cover someone as the manager of a hospital dispensary..I’ve only been there on a handful of occasions and this time it really stressed me out! I can tell how stressed I am..I had to work from early morning until well into the night…I cannot believe I used to drive one hour to work -work for 12 hours and then drive one hour home- than repeat several times a week… I think I am getting too old for that…no wonder I was so stressed back then and so so tired. It’s exhausting. When I finally hit the weekends where I only work in the afternoons..I slept till midday…because my body was just tired…I didn’t have time to go to the gym..I didn’t have time to use my phone…No time to see friends…I was too stressed to sleep properly…by the end of the week I had pimples on my face…really dead hair…and a rash on my neck..and just felt groggy..

After my last 12 hour shift on the Friday, I caught up with some friends…and they asked me why I was working so hard? It’s not like I want to work there full time or want a promotion..I think it’s just my own harsh work ethic on myself..I put myself responsible for everything that goes wrong…I feel so bad if I have to make more work for someone else…but at the same time I know I have my limitations and in the end I am just one person. Is it selfish for me to assume so much responsibility? I am just covering someone..yet I feel like I have to try so hard. Who am I trying to impress? I actually could have said NO to covering that person, who just happens to be my boss and manager…

I think maybe its my work ethics that are back to haunt me. I don’t want people to talk down on me and say bad things..sigh why do we try to impress people..but in the end we are just pretending everything is okay? it’s not okay!

There were times at work where I really struggled. I felt so alone. I felt like no one could help me. I didn’t know what to do..and honestly… I just did what I thought would be the best for the patient. I don’t know if it is what other pharmacists would do…what my boss would do..but honestly, though it was a tough week. I realised…there is lots I do not know. I forgot what I did know already. It’s through these tough times we grow muscles. But I think I still need to pace myself… Maybe doing four days in a row there was a bit too much…on the back of working 15 days straight…with minimal sleep and study..It’s not a good combination.

At the end of the stint at the stressful hospital, I caught up with some friends late at night. I just felt I needed to relax. I felt like I lost myself for the past week…All I did was work sleep repeat. I don’t want to live like that anymore…because what is the point? All that extra stress bites into your mental and physical health and then you will end up using the extra money you made to pay for people to make you feel better…its a viscous cycle of madness. Because of the high amount of medical bills you have to pay, then the more you work.

Just need to think about why you want to work and what you are working for…have a vision in front of you and ask yourself “Is it worth it?” I hope it is..

Well, for my reason for working so much is that I want to be able to both go on a holiday overseas AND also put a deposit on my very own house! I want to Marie Kondo the sh*t out of it..hahaha…Don’t get me wrong, I love my current cute house I live in with my parents, but I would love to own my own place that I can call my own and invite friends over without worrying about all the mess……….that is my current house.

What was this post even about?

 

Extroverted Introverts

So I was talking to a colleague at work..he was sitting by himself-not at the staff room having his break. I asked him why he didn’t want to go into the staff room to have his break.. Interestingly he said he didn’t want to talk to people he didn’t know downstairs.

I was quite surprised .. this colleague in my opinion was a very talkative person and seemed to get along with  everyone …I thought he would love to talk to people in his break..

He said it made him tired and took energy away from him..

He said he was actually an introvert…but because of work..he  has to act extroverted.

It made me think…we do live in a world where extroverts seem to thrive in….work places need collaboration..communication and also working with difficult people…Unless you work in a job where you worked by yourself or work all by yourself..it is hard NOT to avoid people.

I think I am quite introverted..as sometimes I do not have energy to talk to people I don’t know…and I just really want to be by myself… But at other times I really do get  bored or feel lonely…and then I will call up a friend to arrange a meeting.

I also established that we are all probably a bit of both…I guess it’s a spectrum…we aren’t always one or the other…but certain situations may force us to be more of one than another. It can be hard….

Have you ever thought what kind of person you are?