I am back

Sorry. I’ve been distracted in the last two weeks. Chasing something that didn’t last. I knew it wouldn’t last. Doesn’t it feel great when your pessimistic premonitions come true?

Why does it feel so sad and so bad when you are right? Is it a self-fulfilling prophecy? Or is it because of your stereotypical thinking that led you that way?

I hate being the one that is so invested.. the one who has so much to lose. If I dare stray from my perfect track record, I fear what people will say… I fear what people will do to me. So I keep going on.. with a mask. And hope that no one can see the real me.

Oh wow. This got so deep-ish. Maybe its because ai am trying to forget someone, something, but all things remind you of them. This food. This song. This colour. So you do your best not to be reminded.

It’s past midnight :0 … maybe my head is going crazy. I am so tired. Yet the thoughts are racing in my head…. and yes I am listening to “ZombiE•… “in my head”… zzz