Embrace Loneliness

I believe you have to embrace being alone. It’s so true how you can be around people, yet feel so alone and isolated.

And when you are alone, you can feel like no one in the world cares about you, if you suddenly disappeared without a trace. If something happened to you, no one would notice, because you are all alone.

Yet, the sounds of people talking too loudly about things you don’t care about, can make you wish for peace and quiet.

So in the moment, appreciate you are alone. You don’t have to make small talk, you don’t have to ask how their day was. Just relax knowing you can eat when you want, sleep when you want, go out and do something you want to on your own. No need to consult with anyone else or what they think. Life is freedom to do whatever you want.

Yet sometimes, society makes you feel bad for being alone. Life and society wasn’t designed for people who are alone. It’s like the loners are shunned in the world.

Road Kill

100 km/h road..

I swear I was going only 80 km/h

Nevertheless it was still too fast, too furious, I was too slow

All I saw was huge eyes shocked to see my headlights coming

I thought I had fast reflexes, but I thought run

A sickening crunch, the car rattled, and shook

Is he dead? I am not sure, there’s no way to stop

I took a life today.

I am a murderer..

I am guilty.

And I am going to go slower now

I am so sorry

RIP

All the Reminders of the Memories

Now that you are gone, all I have left is fragments of moments in times that are embedded into my memory.

There are so many triggers to the reminiscing that takes place.. It can be a smell, a song, an image, a place.. everything reminds me of you

It’s like the world doesn’t want me to forget you, but I NEED to forget you. How can I move on when I am constantly living in the past?

I hope these feelings of sadness will not last.

Did the bed always feel so cold? Was food always so tasteless? Was life always this mundane?

You lighted up my bleak world with colour, flashing lights, and bells… but now it is quiet once again.

I can only move on when I make fresh memories, try new places, meet more people.

Does a place exist where nothing reminds me of you?

If it’s too good to be true, it probably is fake

In the moment, you feel like everything is but a dream.. it feels too good to be true

You don’t want to wake up from your dream

Entranced by the surreality of the the life you live in

Chasing the end of the rainbows, seeking the treasures that you find

Heads in the clouds, hearts flying with the birds in the sky

When everything ends, you know you proved yourself right

It was really too good to be true. 💭

Winter Wonderings

Winter started off so wonderful, a new flame to provide warmth and shelter

Everything seemed bring and new

It was a first for everything and every moment was magical

But with every delicate flower that blossomed within that new budding love

…There was a risk for it to be crushed

It cannot withstand the howling wind, rain, and storms that it brought

With that the glimmer of warmth of winter was gone .. and once again…

The nights feel cold once again, and once again you realise you are truly, truly, all alone

Mundane Everyday Life

Been on leave since last Friday (which was basically a sick day). But, yeah everyday is filled with boredom… groceries, cleaning, sleeping, eating, repeat. The only thing I did that was out of ordinary was that I joined the local Library and borrowed some books lol… that just reminds me.. I should really wipe the books ?!?!? Who knows what is on them..

Life sucks when you are stressed to the point of burn out, life also sucks when you have nothing to do and you can’t travel as of yet. Friday will be the first day that the 25km restrictions get lifted and we can finally travel around.

So today was another boring day, where I woke up later than I normally would. Went to the dentist and got a clean, and my mouth just takes disgusting from all the Fluoride… eww.. makes me so nauseous and want to vomit. I was waiting around at the nearby shopping centre until my next appointment, the nutritionist… 😌…. a day full of appointments… some leave.. just doing things I couldn’t normally do coz I am working. I will say today, I did buy some random matcha icecream (or so they said) and it tasted disgusting .. I tried to put it to the fluoride.. and you know what happened next? I found a short pubic hair in the icecream so gross. i really wanted to vomit so badly then!!

This was my boring tale of life in lockdown restrictions… having leave but nothing to do and no where to go.

Let’s hope my next post is about what I do with the remaining annual leave with lifted lockdown restrictions. ☺️

First time getting Covid Swabbed

So, I’ve been bed ridden and house bound for the last few days. Yesterday, I was finally feeling well enough to get out of bed and get myself Covid tested. Given the circumstances we are currently in in Melbourne with cases literally popping up everywhere and anywhere, I thought it would be better to be safe than sorry.

I decided to opt for the drive through testing clinic nearby my house. No referral or booking was needed before hand. I went pretty early in the morning in the hopes to avoid the long waiting times.

It wasn’t as bad as I thought, it took about 30 minutes from start to finish. There was many questions asked, “have you been interstate? Overseas? In close contact with someone who has covid? Etc etc” and I answered literally no to all of them..they also ask if you have been immunised and if you were a health care worker, which I said yes to both.

The swab itself, wasn’t painful but I wouldn’t say its pleasant either. They first swabbed the back of my throat then each nostril with the SAME SWAB. Not sure if that’s that they normally do? I was just thinking of all the cross contamination with particles from my mouth going to my nose?!?!?

After the test i had to drink water to try get rid of that gross sensation in the nose and throat.

I clicked on the link about what to do post testing and it said I had to quarantine until I got s negative result and that it would take 1-2 days before I got results! Sounded pretty slow to me, but I was sick anyways.

I got the results about 14 hours after getting tested, the results were sent as a text message to me at approximately 11pm at night.

Hurray for a negative result! But sadly, I am still sick. 😦 but at least it’s not covid ?

Lock down lifting

Soooo restrictions are easy across metropolitan Melbourne since yesterday morning. But, I really honestly didn’t feel impact from it. I was home all day yesterday, bed ridden from a sudden wave of sickness. I reckon it had to be the sudden new working hours of the dreaded “Late Shift” week that I had. 11:30am-20:00 pm … so cold, and so dark when I finally finished working….

I fought the sickness for 2 days before succumbing to it and finally breaking down. There was no more juice, a full migraine broke out on top of the background sickness of congestion, cough, sore throat, and hot and cold chills. I actually planned to get covid swabbed, but was feeling way too sick to do so.

Life always has it’s ways of saying to you, it’s time to rest. Like, really! Stop pushing yourself and get well soon.

P.S. i am on annual leave from today, unfortunately I had to cancel my flights to Adelaide as Adelaide has closed its borders to me and I am unable to return home at this stage =\/(

Things I’ve done in Lockdown

During the lockdown, I saw other people start to bake, cook, or go on exercise hikes… for me I haven’t done much out of the ordinary…

1. I’ve continued working as usual, but put my hands up for some extra activities.

2. Got more unfit, but have been trying to get into home stretching and exercises.

3. Been studying up on Covid-19 and their vaccines as I have out my hand up to be interested in being involved with the vaccine preparation.

4. I’ve restarted posting in here.

When will this lockdown end? Who knows?

Melbourne Lockdown 4.0

What can I say? We are pretty used to it now..LOCKDOWN

1. Roll out and clean the dusty yoga mat…it’s time for some YouTube work outd.

2. Stock up on essentials like toilet papers, frozen foods, snacks, and caffeine.

3. Start calling your family and catching up with friends online.

4. Start shopping online again because shops are closed.

5. Start typing into the blogs and online ventures once again.

6. Get really bored and find some interesting new hobby or side hustle to do.

7. Consider buying a pet or alternatively a plant.

8. Consider investing in more lounge wear as you spend so much time at home in your PJs.

9. Wallow in self pity for a while because you can’t travel.

10. Follow the news like a hawk to see what is happening with the lockdown and how many nee cases are there today?!?!?!?

Repeat all of the above again and again.