2021 House Hunting!

Happy New Year everyone! I can’t believe I haven’t posted ALL YEAR. How lazy of me.. XD

I just completely forgot that I haven’t blogged for awhile, I keep thinking I did…but like a lot of things in my life…I started out strong, then fizzled out, and now restarting. It’s the end result that matters right?

To say this week has been hectic is an understatement and I have slipped. back into some unhealthy habits :(.

My sleep has been so SHIT lately…I put it due to the hot weather (it is summer here), the late night HOON driving that continues to 1-2 am…I don’t even call the cops anymore as it has made ZERO difference. I just am hanging on to the hope that I will be able to move places soon. I was hanging on from moving, because I still hadn’t recieved my drivers license in the mail. LONG STORY SHORT, they never posted it…and I was waiting for over a month for it…it is only when I sent THEM an enquiry to why it was taking so long that I found out that apaprently they fcked. up my photo and didn’t even bother telling me. Apparently I have to go in there to take a photo and they are unable to give me a license without retaking my photo, EVEN THOUGH they were the ones who took my photo. Vic ROADS SUCKS. VIC POLICE SUCKS. and VIC REAL ESTATE Agents SUCK. I sound like an angry person, but I guess I am comparing this to my home town in Adelaide where I haven’t had to deal with these issues. LE SIGH.

Enough WHINGING! Anyways, in other news! It’s decided. I am planning to move in the next few months! Instead of renting this time, I am on the look out for HOUSE TO BUY. When probably can’t afford a proper house yet, but a TOWNHOUSE!! I don’t know why, but I am in love with town houses..! It just feels so quaint, cute, and comfortable to have a 2-storey house that maximises space and utilises space well. I don’t have anything against single storey units, but it’s just something about town houses that make me want to buy one…hahah the one I have my eyes set on has an asking price of $490000 to $520000…which sadly is out of my original budget…BUT hopefully fingers crossed I will be able to sort out finances prior to the auction at the end of the month. I have been talking to banks directly and bypassing the mortgage broker. It just takes TOO LONG with my mortgage broker…I am just going to do more research on my own and from what I can see, it doesn’t make much difference in terms of cost.

I feel like most things can be done on your own, but most people are probably too lazy to make the effort to do it on their own…

I am so excited to get a place!! But first have to jump the hurdle of getting a PRE-APPROVAL first…I don’t have a 20% deposit saved up yet sadly… coz I put some money into shares…and lost some money…

But the longer I rent, the more I am paying for someone else’s mortgage…

I inspected 5 properties today (I am exhausted!) but narrowed it down to 2 properties and one in particular I am hoping to buy. Both have their perks and down falls.

  1. Single story unit.

    Good: More land and garden space. Great for a dog as fenced…seems like they have a dog! As there was a dog kernel. The living room and outside space is really nice! The garage is oversized and can fit more tha one car easily! The house is in a pretty decent suburb and it is hidden at the back of a group of 6 units ((Good and bad thing). Apparently it is near a farm area, so there may be many big trucks driving stock in and out…Also not sure about hayfever?!?! It is also close to work and is safer than the other property..probably higher resell value and rental value.

    Bad: There is only one toielt an it was broken…The doors keep slamming when the windows are open. Saw some cobwebs in the window…The garage was really messy. This has a higher asking price of 50,0000 to 550000. Strata fees are around $800 a year. It can also be a bit hard to find the entrance to this house as it is at the back of a series of units…

2. Two storey town house:

Good: Newer than the single story unit and was quite well kept upon inspection. It looks great for a first house as the garden looks easy to maintain. There are just properties around the area. The BIR in both rooms look more modern and for the MAIN bedroom it has a really neat mini desk inside the WIR. It has a nice bathroom and I especially love the sink in the bathroom. The garden is really nice with a bench for entertaining outside..there was also a BBQ and a Water tank… (I am not sure if these stay if they get sold)? Two sheds and a built in clothes hanger. There are aircons in both rooms and also in the loung room. Strata was abou $300 per quarter ? or was it per year.??!?!

Bad: It is in a ‘bad suburb’ that is known for the lower SES in the past. There is not many schools nearby…There are a lot of migrants in the neighbour hood and people say that there is many burglaries in the past and that it is not safe to go out walking at night on your own. There is less space upstairs…For the same price i could possibly get a three bedroom unit in the same neighbour hood.. I need to check if there are security camers for this place…as I want to feel safe!!!!!!!!

My aunty and uncle who own a few properties already have advised me to drive down to that neighbour hood during night and during the day to see what sort of neighbours and people who live there and to check sound levels…which I will do at some stage.

Other than that, it’s back to the banks to ask if I can loan more money…

Wish me luck.

I will keep you posted!

Adulting is so tiring…after all those inspections, video chatted with aunty and uncle, then 1 hour meeting with a BANK representative… I took a 2 hour nap and ate the rest of the green ice cream for dinner. Covid cases have started up again and there was as local outbreak at the shopping centre I normally go to…so I have been trying not to do groceries there and only go to the one near my work instead…HOWEVER it means I can’t just get groceries that easily anymore :(.


Fingers crossed we will not have to do a lockdown again :(. Masks are mandatory indoors again..but TBH that never changed for me anyways as I work in a hospital.

Take care and stay safe peeps.

The last post for 2020

2020. What a year. So much has happened…so much also …didn’t happen. So this is going to be a bit of reflection of what happened in 2020 to me. The good. The bad. The sad. The happy. The whatever.

  1. Feb 2020: I finally fulfilled my dream of travelling to New Zealand for a trip! It was an awesome trip in which I caught up with my good friend living in Brisbane…we did a lot of hiking, horse riding, running, and also went on a boat trip! New Zealand is such a beautiful place and I would highly recommend it. I am also extremely lucky that I was able to go overseas before the borders to Australia has closed.
  2. March 2020: I finally saw my ALL time favourite band, ONE OK ROCK. Having missed out on seeing them when I was in Japan for exchange, I can finally say I have been to my second J-Rock concert. However, this time I actually knew and could sing a long with their songs! I also paid for the VIP tickets and also got to meet them, exchange a few words, and get my photo with them. The night was surreal and it was a great memory I will treasure for many years to come.
  3. Later in March 2020: The lockdown of Australia began as the Coronavirus made it way uninvited into all of our lives. You couldn’t escape it. No matter how hard you try to close your eyes….everyone was talking about it, the supermarket shelves were bare with no toilet paper or hand sanitiser to be seen. Gyms, pools, indoor/outdoor sports, cinemas, schools, universities, and shops, restaurants were closed for dine in. Social distancing was the new norm, everyday we were wiping all the surfaces we touched…everyday I would follow religiously the numbers, the tallies, the hotspots…what rules were changing…The hardest part of all was not being able to see my family and friends…I wasn’t able to see my nephew for the longest time and I was so worried he would forget who I was… It was also during this time that I began spending a lot more time with my family that still lived at home. Yes, we got on each others nerves at some stage…but because there was no where to go and nothing to do, we were just at home. My mum began planting and gardening more and more flowers, fruits, and vegetables…I began learning how to work out at home…For my brother and dad, nothing changed much for them…They usually just stay at home anyways. Skype calls were the best, and I am so grateful for technology that keeps us together, but nothing beats the ability to spend time in person with people.
  4. June 2020. The rules has started to relax in South Austraila. We were finally allowed to have up to 10 visitors in our homes! That meant we were able to gather as a family again and to eat out in restaurants with friends! This was the 1st birthday of my nephew…unfortunately because of the restrictions, my sister only invited the immediate family to celebrate….then they broadcasted it live to their other friends via zoom. My little nephew was sooo spoilt with soo many gifts from family and friends! He got Gucci branded shoes, a small ride on Mercedes, and sooo many toys. June was also the month that I found out that my full-time contract job was not going to be renewed…It was not entirely unexpected, but still a shock to hear it. It meant I had to job hunt all over again…and during a pandemic, that was depressing and a very stressful time…there was not much up for grabs in Adelaide in terms of Hospital Pharmacist positions, so I widened my applications to interstate hospitals. I had 3 sets of interviews for a position in Melbourne and that how I ended up where I am now!
  5. July 2020: I found out that I got the job in Melbourne and I would have to start planning my move…Where was I going to stay? Can I even go there during the pandemic? My aunty and uncle helped me immensely in looking for suitable places that I would inspect when I got there. I also had friends help me plan the trip to Melbourne and what I needed to do to make sure my car was okay. Then there was catchup after catchup with all the people I would be seeing for who knows how long? It was more like a one way trip at this stage…once I went to Melbourne, Adelaide would close it’s borders to me…they would see me as an outsider…I wasn’t sure when I would be able to see my family again…This was a really sad realisation and something that made me so anxious and sad. I would be heading to the city which was undergoing the second wave of Coronavirus…and was in stage 4 lockdown, a curfew, and mandatory masks everywhere. I was going into a virus striken city and working in one of their hospitals that have Covid- positive patients…as someone who hates germs, it was a big risk. Saying good bye to my family was the hardest thing, especially my sister whom I am closest with…I hadn’t cried at all at any of my other farewells, but saying goodbye to my sister for the last time was so hard.
  6. August 2020: I made the long ass drive with my car full of lugguage, toilet paper, and stuff to Melbourne. I was not welcomed with any police or officers at the borders, but it wasn’t the same the other way round. South Australia was quite strict with who was able to enter their state…Melbourne however, didn’t give a hoot and still doesn’t. After staying with my aunt for a few days, I found a place pretty quick and moved in on the same week. Then began the journey of living solo and managing to not live in a pigsty. I had to figure out what I needed and what I wanted…money didn’t grow on trees unfortunately… Then I started working at my new job and that was incredibly tough at first because of all the competency standards that I had to meet to prove I was worthy as a pharmacist.
  7. August-October: So basically nothing happened. I may have took Gamsat…but other than that I rarely went out. I think the lockdown was still ongoing, so there was no house visitors allowed and everything was Click and Collect or buy online. I think I did a lot of cooking…and buying stuff for my house. The video calls with my family and friends in Adelaide continued…We did group chats, group games, and I played ‘Amongst Us’ Once… lol…. I also did a seminar entirely online at home for work…that was interesting, but also made me extremely sleepy.
  8. Nov 2020: Somehow we managed to have 60 days free from Community Transmitted Covid- Cases! The city slowly opened up and restrictions eased in a gradual step by step process. Restaurants were finally open for dine in, but for limited numbers…Retail shops were allowed to open again! Gyms, schools, universities…and most importantly BADMINTON RESTARTED!!!! This is what I missed most (Asides from family and friends in Adelaide)!! Was the desire to hit a shuttlecock! I write this as my whole body hurts from a great baddy session yesterday night….
  9. Dec 2020: My sister messaged me and told she was coming to Melbourne and that we should catchup !! I was so excited!! I wasn’t sure if I was able to go back to Adelaide as they have stricter border than Melbourne, but if my sister could come and go back, surely I would be able to? In the heat of the moment I quickly looked up how much flights would be to Adelaide and back…and it was pretty reasonable! Then I remembered I have a whole bunch of Frequent Flyer Points which I was hoping to use to go to England (dreams crushed this year) and I used those points to pay for the return fare in its entirety! It also included checked baggage both ways! BONUS! I was so happy that I was able to come back home to Adelaide and spend Christmas with my family and to see some of my friends! It was a rushed 4 days…as I hadn’t booked any extra leave I was only there over the public holiday and weekend. Adelaide itself hadn’t changed much, but the people had changed…a bit. Since I left, a friend had a baby, another friend told me she is moving to Brisbane for a new job, two friends had broken up with the long-term partners, and I think that is it?
  10. Dec 31st 2020: The last day of the year 2020, I slept in! Because…I can :)! I had a day off today! It was an accrued day off that just happened to land on the last day of the year. Lucky me! I met up with my sister and her family for lunch and did a bit of window shopping in Melbourne city. A friend told me about a special Free parking voucher that could be displayed to park for free in Melbourne city…Then I came home, cooked the last meal of 2020, and did my last round of laundry for 2020…had my last shower, called my mum for the lastst time, emptied the trash for the laste time, and now I am typing the blog entry for 2020 on here. So many last times for everything. Oh, did I mention that the annual firework display for NYE has been cancelled for both Mellbourne and Adelaide? The Sydney famous ones are still going ahead, however they will not allow people to watch it from the shore. Also, sadly in the last few days we got a few cases of local transmission and now we have some restrictions reinposed, i.e. maximum 15 people in a house at one time…so the Family New Years Lunch is cancelled for tomorrow sadly…

    Happy New Year everyone! Let’s hope fingers crossed that 2021 will be a better one!! Stay Safe, Wash your hands, stay 1.5 metres a part, and wear your mask!

Returning Home to Adelaide

Coming back to Adelaide for the first time since I left was weird… at times it felt like nothing had changed… but underneath the surface, when you looked a little closer, things has definitely changed.

Since I made the move to Melbourne in August, my friend had a baby, 2 of my friends separated from their partners, my sister finally moved into their new home, my dad was diagnosed with diabetes….my brother bought an ipad for $13!! Houses have been built, buildings have been knocked down, many shops have been forced to close, the covid-19 situation leaves its sting on each business. There are QR codes at each business so that people can check in.

My home hasn’t changed … it’s still as messy and full of hoarded stuff.. everytime I see it, I feel sad.. I feel like I want to clean it up, but it’s not really up to me to tell my parents they need to start throwing away…. for example, I tried washing my clothes this morning and the Washing Machine started shaking, vibrating, and stopped working completely… I had to HANDWASH every item and I know I did a shit job. Lol. Haven’t handwashed anything in forever. I dont even have a bucket to do that in Melbourne.. and of course we don’t have a dryer so some of my clothes are still wet 😅😅😅….

My pet turtle is hugeeee now!! Maybeeeee coz I haven’t seen her for so long!! But she looks hugeee! I am so sure my dad is feeeding her wayyy too much.

My little nephew is as cute as ever!! He has been growing taller and since he has started walkingc he has been losing his baby fat! No longer the chubby baby I once knew! He can saw random words on demand..i.e. the colour BLUE, the name EMMA (the yellow wiggle), and the numbers 8 and 9.

It’s weird feeling like a stranger in your own home, I feel like a guest, but then I also feel like I am not. Hard to explain.

Was this whirlwind last minute trip worth it? Definitely… I just hope there won’t be any last minute breakouts which mean I have to immediately self-isolate or quarantine when I head back to Melbourne… fingers and toes are crossed.

Now, let’s all enjoy that weird time between Christmas and New years.

Cheers to a better year in 2021 🥂

Covid- experience at the Adelaide Airport

I thought I would write about my unique experience flying on a plane during covid-19. So as expected, facemasks are mandatory inside the Melbourne Airport Terminal and on the flight. The airline I flew with provided free facemasks and single use hand sanitisers before boarding the plane. There was no food that was sold in the flight. They did however give us an individually wrapped slice of cake and a tiny bottle of water each.

We were encouraged to not move around the cabin .. if we needed to use the bathroom, they recommended no more than 2 people to be queuing for the bathroom. The flight was probably around 80% full, they tried to leave the middle seats free between passengers. Lucky for me I had the whole aisle to myself!

It was my first time flying on Christmas day…the staff donned Christmas hats and made jokes about remembering to take off the face masks if we needed the oxygen masks. The flight attendants were also making comments about the number of people who were writing last minute Christmas cards on the plane. I have a feeling many were travelling to visit their family and friends…-I highly doubt the travel was just for leisure…this was shown by the many gifts people carried for their loved ones. My entire suitcase and guitar case was full of stuff to bring back for my family and friends…

Once i touched down to Adelaide… I realises that there was not many people there and that there was a lot more security and police guards around. I do note that some security guards had colourful lights attached to their vests.. LOL… they had serious faces but the lights made them seem..”human”. We had a passage that mean we had to walk single file down to an area where we had to sure officials our permits to enter South Australia and to ensure them we haven’t traveled to NSW, Overseas, or been in contact with anyone with Covid-19…. I also showed them my passport as my photo ID…I do note that the staff were not 1.5 metres away from each other, which made me extremely uncomfortable because the passenger next to me was super close… I do also note not all airport staff were wearing facemasks… it feels surreal that we don’t need to wear masks indoors here… surreal!!!

Other than that complaint about the non-socially distancing staff, I was given a ticket which I was to show the staff and police man that I was okay to go. The police man just said “Merry Christmas” and I went on to find my luggage. I do much prefer SA police than Vic police.. all my encounters with Vic Police have been unpleasant so far…

I finally found my guitar case I had checked in as oversize baggage and headed out of the terminal. I noticed that flights from Sydney to Adelaide were still happening, however those passengers would need to complete mandatory quarantine for 14 days and get swabbed 3 times during those 14 days. I saw some people in full body PPE conducting swabs of return passengers… not sure if Sydney or overseas passengers ….

Merry Christmas

I am at Melbourne airport at time of posting this. It is a lot quieter here than I have experienced previously.

The effects of covid are both positive and negative..: negative because by travelling you are taking a major risk that you could be stuck somewhere in quarantine. I am reminded of this because I can see all flights to Sydney have been canceled. This is due to all the others states in Australia shutting the borders to Sydney in response to the recent outbreak that was discovered in the Northern beaches. In order to travel interstate for me , I’ve had to apply for a permit to enter South Australia and also a permit to re enter Victoria when I come back.

It’s been so long since I’ve been at the Melbourne airport.. the last time I was here was when I had to transit there after coming back from my New Zealand trip.

The airport in Melbourne is super far away for me! Around an hour drive.. that’s even longer than the flight from Melbourne to Adelaide. LOL.

Well, time to do pre-flight stuffs.. toilet.. fill up bottle.. chill.

Have a Merry Christmas everyone 😍

Short Story Series- You got Scammed – Chapter 8

Oh Shit. He had seen her already…well this was awkward. She slowly looked towards her right and saw the same masked man that she had seen in the video. Well, at least he was the same person in the video call. However, nothing like on his profile photos.

She quickly put her mask on and opened her door and went to greet him. She had to be polite at least. Scammer or not, he was still a person…right? Her strict upbringing meant she was always taught to be kind and polite to everyone she met. She took a deep breath and said..

“Hi! Are you Hiroshi?” she asked a bit nervously.

She couldn’t see his face, but she could feel him smiling through the mask.

“Hello Lilly! I am so glad to finally meet you! I have to say, you look better in person than in your photos!” He said delighted.

Ummm…how was she even supposed to respond to that? That he looked worse than his photos? Well, he looked nothing alike his photos?

“Uhh, thanks? I guess? I am pretty bad at taking photos of myself..haha, but I guess you are good at taking photos, because your photos looked cool?” … More like because you look nothing like your photos she thought to herself.

As if he had read her mind, he replied, “I do get that a lot! The photos on my profile are pretty old…I haven’t updated them in a while..haha…I gained a lot of weight since coming to Melbourne. I think I gained 15 kg since I got here in January…and the lockdown, you know..it changed how I looked haha…” His tone gave out the impression he was little nervous, but he seemed he had rehearsed this story multiple times.

“Oh… I see! Haha I think I gained weight too during this year…but I did some work outs at home…sooo I think it wasn’t that much”. Lilly said awkwardly.

“Are you disappointed? That I look worse in real life.” He asked suddenly in a somewhat sad tone with a hint of joking..

Wow. He was …So direct.

“Ohhh no I am not disappointed! Looks doesn’t matter that much anyway to me! Shall we go to the food court?” She stammered, trying to change the subject. Let’s get this over and done with.

“Yeah! Let’s go! I can’t wait to try this ramen store that you recommend!”

As they walked towards the food court, Lilly thought about how she would respond to seeing his face for the first time and getting to know him. It would confirm or reject the conclusion that she had that she smelled a catfish..

Short Story Series- You got Scammed – Chapter 7

Saturday rolled around faster than she expected and now she was getting ready for the date. She was tossing up between two different dresses, one was a low cut sexy black mini dress while the other one was a cute long green dress which didn’t show her body shape at all. In the end she chose the green dress, she didn’t know who this guy was and he could turn out to be a creepy stalker after all. She put on some make up and straightenedd her hair, smiled at herself in the mirror, grimaced at herself and then grabbed her keys and went out.

She had just parked her car at the station when the message alert rang out on her phone. It was Hiroshi….

“Hi Lilly. Sorry, I am running a few minutes late today because the train was delayed :(. Just to let you know I am wearing a maroon backpack and wearing a brown jacket. See you soon!” He then also sent a photo of him in his mask sitting in the train…

Damn, she had time to kill, time to do more investigating. If Hiroshi didn’t have social media accounts, he might still use things like LinkedIn or surely she would be able to find some information on him, Hiroshi didn’t seem like that common of a name. As she didn’t know his last name, she typed in his first name and changed the location to “Melbourne, Victoria”. She then tried with the keywords, “Chef, Japanese, Hiroshi, Melbourne”. There was absolutely nothing. It was like this guy really did not exist. Who was he? Was she safe? Should she back out now? Now she was somewhat afraid, this was a complete stranger that seemed like he had something to hide…She rubbed her temples and thought deeply, she could leave now, but then she would never get the answers she wanted to find out. Before she could come to a conclusion she heard her phone alert go off.

“Hi Lilly. Are you here already? I see a girl in a car that looks like you. Look out the window to the right.”

Short Story Series- You got Scammed – Chapter 6

“Oh…but what if we ever met up? Would you still be too shy to meet up then also?”. She asked curiously. This guy was acting sooo weird., what was he hiding under his mask? Why was he so relunctant to reveal how he looked like?

“I’ll only take my mask off when we meet up. So when are you free? Let’s meet up really soon,as I really want to see you in person”. Hiroshi said playfully.

Lilly didn’t know how to answer. Was it safe to meet someone who was so cautious about revealing their face? She had no way to confirm that the person on the other side of the screen was who they said they were. However, she felt drawn towards this mysterious person and she wanted to find out who they really were, so she guessed she would just play along for now.

“Ohhh sure. That’s fine! I Just had hoped to see your face online before we met, but anyways…are you free this Saturday? Do you want to meet at Central M-City Mall? Maybe we can have lunch at the food court there? I heard they have a really nice ramen store!”

“That sounds like a plan! What time should we meet?” he said enthusiastically.

“How about 12 pm at the M-City train station?” She suggested.

“Sounds great! I can’t wait to finally meet you! I am so excited!” he replied.

“Uhh.. me too”. His enthusiasm was somewhat contagious even though it seemed absurd that he would be so excited to meet a girl he had literally talked to for like …two days?

“Sorry, I am going to head to bed soon, I’ll see you on Saturday then?” She said.

“Sweet dreams beautiful girl! I am going to be so excited I won’t be able to sleep”. He laughed.

“..hhahha good night…” She hung up the phone. Semi creeped out, but also loving the attention that she was receiving. She hadn’t had any dates that had been so genuinely interested in her or had called her beautiful. It felt nice, but she still had that nagging doubt in her stomach that something did not seem right with this Hiroshi. Who was he and what was he hiding underneath that mask?

Short Story Series – You got Scammed. Chapter 4

Hmmm. Well, what was the worst thing that could happen? It was just her phone number she was giving, not her bank account details or anything right? Should be alright? Right?

She typed back, “Fine here’s my number.. . The food you cook better look amazing”. She pressed send and put her phone away.

Lilly finally finished work at around 7 pm and was opening the door of her apartment when her phone started going vibrating and lighting up with notifications. What in the world??? It was an unknown number that popped up.

“Hi! This is Hiroshi here!”.. “Thanks for sending me your number.;). .. then next he sent a was a photo of a bowl of ramen that looked as it came from a top Japanese restaurant. “This is what I just cooked for my breakfast today”. Then there was several again blurry photos that he took of himself with a mask hiding his half of his face. The last message said,“Do you like what you see?”. I can cook for you and give you a massage on your feet, because I know you will be tired from work ;(.”. Also, let me know when you are on your period and i’ll make sure to look after you!”.

Lilly didn’t know how to reply…overwhelmingly he seemed too good to be true, but at the same time she wanted to believe that maybe there was a guy that could understand women, could cook, and was as good looking as the man in her dreams…there was one way she could find out from the safety of her phone.

She replied, “Hey Hiroshi! Thanks for sending me the photos! Wow! did you really make that? Looks like it came straight out of a Japanese restaurant!”. By the way, why are you sending me blurry photos of you with a mask on? Do you have something to hide? Jkjk. But seriously, want to video chat tonight if you are free?”.

Short Story Series: You Got Scammed – Chapter 1

Lilly looked at the photo…contemplating whether she should request to match with him. He was so good looking…he could easily pass off as a celebrity, a rock star, or a model of some sort. There was no way he would be interested in a plain, boring, average looking girl like me. Heck, Lilly thought…What do I have to lose anyways? There was only a limited amount of match requests you could do each day, but more often than not she never used them up. She wanted a relationship, but at the same time she was too tired and lazy to put much effort into it. Lilly felt relationships were so hard to maintain. Her last relationship was probably over 4 years ago? That ended pretty badly and she still had dreams that haunted her showing alternate endings to her relationships. It was like an unhealed trauma that left her feeling hesitant to believe in love again.

As a teenager, Lilly believed love was something that she felt certain she would never experience…She was never one of those popular pretty girls back in high school and no guys had every asked her out…and if they did it was as a joke. Back in high school Lilly had crooked teeth, acne, glasses, and was super self-conscious about showing any skin at all. Her secondhand high-school skirt was almost down to her feet and she always wore long sleeved shirts no matter how hot it was outside. She didn’t think any guy would ever be interested in her….not until she was able to transform herself into who she was now. She had gotten braces during University, finally managed to be brave enough to get contact lenses, and she slowly outgrew her acne. She had grown more confident in her body as she started to work out at the gym, followed fashion bloggers, and learnt how to style her hair and do basic make up…she looked nothing like her old self, yet despite her appearance changing, her confidence in herself and finding true love was dim.

Lilly was afraid. Afraid that the other person would find out what kind of person she really was. Without all the make up, the facade that she tried to put up. She felt she was just an ugly duckling that was pretending to be a swan…Dating was about pretending to be a perfect swan to attract a mate. WOW. When was life so primal? She believed guys were shallow, they just went for pretty, slim, and cute girls. Then again, she felt she was shallow too…she also went for handsome, tall, and fit guys…She too was not attracted to guys who didn’t look after themselves. Too bad most of those handsome guys turned out to be pricks who only wanted one thing. Sex. But she wanted more than that, she wanted a connection, a relationship, and maybe a husband…dating in this time and age was really really HARD.

Well whatever, Lilly thought, it’s time to sleep. Lilly was about to head off to sleep when the a notification flashed across the screen of her phone…”Hiroshi has sent you a message”…

Short Story Series: You Got Scammed – Prologue

Lilly had no more hope in being able to find the Mr. Right. She was 99.9% sure he didn’t exist anyways. Who would be able to put up with her temper, the emotional rollercoasters she went through before her period, and that Type A personality. She wanted to give up and just accept that she would be single for the rest of her life. I mean it can’t be thaaat bad right? She could just get a cat to keep her company and also a dog. She might as well just bring up a small farm as her family. Why not.

However, before giving up she was going to try ONE LAST time with the dating apps. Due to Covid restrictions she had been unable to go to her normal social activities…I have to upload a photo? Oh gosh she had no new photos for the last six months….there was nothing to do! We haven’t been able to travel or to explore the world as usual. Lilly randomly chose some random photos of her at work and uploaded a picture of her shoes. Whatevs.

She hated deciding on who to talk to from a photo.. Gosh…. you don’t want to judge someone on the first photo that pops up on their profile/..but at the same time you do not have time to read each profile carefully…and there is only so many lame pickup lines that you can put up with in one day…sigh. She was about to give up when she saw a name on the top. “Hiroshi”. What a nice name..I am pretty sure that is the name of the lead singer from the Japanese band, “My First Story”. Nothing stood out from his profile…he had a few photos…very little text. It said, one of them said “Find out that I am real, video call me!” and another that said he could speak four languages, and another said, “I love and am good at cooking and cleaning!”…you would find out later that all of this was fake. It was all too good to be true…

I am back

Sorry. I’ve been distracted in the last two weeks. Chasing something that didn’t last. I knew it wouldn’t last. Doesn’t it feel great when your pessimistic premonitions come true?

Why does it feel so sad and so bad when you are right? Is it a self-fulfilling prophecy? Or is it because of your stereotypical thinking that led you that way?

I hate being the one that is so invested.. the one who has so much to lose. If I dare stray from my perfect track record, I fear what people will say… I fear what people will do to me. So I keep going on.. with a mask. And hope that no one can see the real me.

Oh wow. This got so deep-ish. Maybe its because ai am trying to forget someone, something, but all things remind you of them. This food. This song. This colour. So you do your best not to be reminded.

It’s past midnight :0 … maybe my head is going crazy. I am so tired. Yet the thoughts are racing in my head…. and yes I am listening to “ZombiE•… “in my head”… zzz

Blood Tests

I dread blood tests. I try to put it off as long as possible. I always associate blood tests with having to fast, the fear they cannot find my veins, and fear of fainting…

More often than not, I am dehydrated when I go for a blood test… I just don’t feel like drinking when I can’t eat. 😞 face.

Anyways, I had my blood test for iron, blood sugar levels, vitamin b12, vitamin D today.. omg. So many tubes and tests 😭😭😭… I thought I had to fast, but anyways I didn’t.

I was trying to go to a clinic near my house to get it done, but I missed the turn and I was like screw this I’ll try get it done at my workplace.

Despite being here for over a month, I haven’t really explored this huge ass hospital… I only know how to get to the pharmacy, the cafeteria and most importantly the toilets. Apparently there is a library here too? But anyways, it was hard trying to find the pathology collection area…I had to go to the information desk at the front and ask the reception staff how to get there… lol 😆

Anyways, all done now. I am now recovering while drinking my second coffee tor the day ( it’s only 9:30am xD…) and some water.. to hopefully replenish my lost blood cells 😭

In other boring news. i have made another episode of cooking with joy, where I actually don’t really cook at all. LOL

Episode 2: Cooking with Joy

Life is like a box of setbacks

Each time I feel like I have finally taken a step forward, I make the same mistake and end up 10 steps back to where I started. With each set back, the pain grows, yet I am starting to feel numb inside…Making the same mistake again and again, it frustrates me that I haven’t learnt my lesson. I feel frustrated in myself. Angry. Sad. Why can’t they just cut me some slack? Why do I always feel like I get the harshest critics watching over me like a hawk with no mercy?

I sound like I am asking to be pitied and I guess in a way I am. I am pitiful in my plight to get it easy. Nothing was ever given to me on a plate. I’ve always had to work so, freaking hard for everything that I have ever put my hand to.

I don’t know why I am complaining, but I just want to let the world know how I felt..

I felt a bit down after work today after another set back on my 100 items competency…I had made it to 82 last Friday and I had my fingers and toes crossed that today would be THE DAY that I reached 100 items and get to be fully fledged as the pharmacist I already am and being able to focus on more important things I need to do. I wonder if my lack of concentration is due to my anxiety to finish this as soon as possible, the lack of iron, or the restless sleep I have.

One day, I hope I. will look back and say, ” I am glad you didn’t give up otherwise you wouldn’t be where you are now”.

Until then, I say to myself, “Just keep swimming”. (Said in Dory’s voice xD)

My constant battle with Iron Deficiency

Ever since I was young, since I started my period, my iron levels have always swung up and down. This may have been attributed to the monthly blood loss and also due to the fact I refused to red meat from the age of 10. I started eating meat again at age 20, as by that time I had stopped menstruating for around 6 months…and on advice of our local doctor, i.e. my scary Aunty… I was semi coerced to start eating meat again.

I still remember my first meal that had meat. Wok in the box stir fry. Tastes like shitty rubber imo. It felt disgusting. Why do people like meat? But if I wanted to become ‘normal’ I had to do this….

Eventually it got better… chicken was easier to eat… and pork was not had as well.. it felt good to not be the odd one out at All you can Eat Korean BBQs, buffets, and random dinners at friend’s houses… I didn’t want to be rude and not eat the food given to me.. I just sort of brushed the food aside. Back then, not many people were into ‘Vegetarian’ or Vegan diets, aside those who were for religious reasons.

Anyways, I digressed too much. The moral of the story is that I kind of ate what my mum cooked at home… and yeah it meat most of the time. But since moving out, I realised now I am in charge of my own diet and I can eat what I want. I really tried to imitate what we ate at home.. beef mince, pork…but I soon realised.. I am no chef and secondly, I honestly don’t like the texture of meat. I don’t know how to cook it … so I might as well stick with what I can cook well and go back to my mainly plant-based and seafood diet. This is my forte.. my fridge is full of basically 70% veggies, 10% Protein (Fish and Tofu), 20% carbs.

And hence, I would not be surprised at all when I am due for my next blood test to check my iron levels… that it is most likely to be low. :(.

I do not want to take supplements as I had many side effects such as black Tarry stools from them… EWW. TMI? Not enough imo!! Hmmm if its really bad, maybe I can request an iron infusion?

I guess it depends on the blood test 😔😔

In others news, I have started a new segment on my podcast about the quick meals that you can cook with your microwave..see link below: