Is it being lazy or being efficient?

Today I managed to do a weeks worth of cleaning in one day. I was recording in a voice message to my mum what I did today.. and it was a lot (imo)..!

Woke up. Had breakfast. Then took the first load of laundry of undergarments downstairs. waited half an hour or so then took the next load, work clothes -on delicate mode- and put the undergarments in the dryer. Repeat x5. As I was hanging up the work clothes I get a call from my Aunty who was checking to see if I was alright…

After the call I try to do some study.. but I am hungry again :(. So it’s time to cook from all the left over ingredients I bought last week! So today and tmoros menu consists of frozen eel (soo delicious), frozen fishballs, frozen mixed veggies ( so colourful), fresh bokchoy x3 (coz its cheaper), 2 onions, half a garlic, half a box of smooth tofu, left over noodles…and voila! 4 or so meals are done. It tastes good too. You can’t really go wrong with these ingredients. I left of mess after cooking (and eating) as per usual.

So I started wiping down the kitchen bench.. then I realised the floor was dirty.. so I got out the good old two in one mixed head mop.. sprayed some disinfectant and water. Well, one thing led to another… I had the spray out already.. should I just clean my toilet and shower today instead of Sunday? It means tmoro I can just relax… hmmm anyways. So I ended quickly cleaning the bathroom too.. I don’t think I did as thorough as the week before.. but I’ll survive🤣🤣🤣 always feels sooo nice to have a clean toilet, clean clothes, and clean kitchen bench. My sink is still full of dishes tho 🤣🤣🤣…

Some of my colleagues are horrified to hear how I only clean once a week…but hey I live on my own and the mess is my own. If I can live with it, then it’s fine right? As long as no one else is affected 🤣🤣🤣imho.

Finally Officially Moved in!

I am typing this on my laptop with my super slow internet hotspotted from my phone…Other than the room being extremely cold, I am okay with it so far…I’ll see how my first night here goes.

For dinner tonight, I had some leftover Charsiu from my aunty, I microwaved some of that instant brown rice, air fried some frozen veggies (bad idea..the corn started exploding lol), and some french fries (also courtesy of my aunt). Everything except the rice and veggies was chucked into the airfryer. I added a touch of ketchup and mixed everything together and BAM that’s kind like fried rice with out frying it (unless the airfryer counts?). That my friends was the first meal I have cooked (?) in Melbourne on my own.

I also had my first shower which was freezing cold and I super regretted only bringing two towels with me…and they aren’t big towels either! Fingers crossed they will be dry for the next time I need to use them … I need more towels..lol.. I realise I barely have anything…but I am trying to improvise and make do with make-shift items. I have made a few temporary bings out of cardboard boxes…I have used a dish towel to be both a placemat and a temporary dish dryer. As I don’t have anything to line my drawers with, I have used paper towel to hold my cutlery and knives so they don’t move every time I open the drawer.

My aunt and uncle gave me an old table they had sitting outside so I have brought that back and set it up..they also gave me an old tv..but, unfortunately, it doesn’t work…LOL…Or I just don’t know how to set it up…:(

I had some trouble figuring out how to use the microwave and I thought it was broken…LOl but anyways I did end up eventually figuring it out…the sink also was missing something to stop the water from being drained, but I looked around and found something that fit to stop it…also sadly that hand held-vacuum that was here…I just realised it doesn’t run on batteries and needs a charger…WHICH THE PREVIOUS TENANT didn’t leave behind so basically it’s junk and I already have a draw for broken shit. -.- why don’t they get rid of the broken stuff?!? LAME.

Today I also bottled my kettle for the first time..good to know it works. I’ve also been using the airconditioner…jsut cos its soo cold…I am scared of my electricity bill though :(. Asides from not having enough clothes hangers to hang my clothes…I am pretty much unpacked!

Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to explore a bit of the neighbourhood and get those supplies that I have been writing down in my phone…I need so many more cleaning supplies 😦 But where am I going to store it? I don’t have a laundry room sadly…

Disappointed

I went back today to the laser eye surgery centre. The doctor seemed nervous as he asked me how I was before I could say “Fine”( a clear lie, since my face did not say I was fine).. he said, “Disappointed Right?”. He said it was unfortunate that the surgery had not gone fine.

I had a list of questions prepared for him about how long I needed to use the eye drops for and if I could wash my hair with shampoo! It’s been super annoying not being able to wash my hair or face…incase I injure the eye even more. Apparently, according to the doctor I have to use both eye drops until the end of the week and then the lubricant can be continued until whenever. He said, I should be able to use the contact lenses again from the following Monday…but warned it might feel more uncomfortable than normal. That does not give me any confidence at all TBH.

I said, didn’t you say that the eye drops you had prescribed prior to me getting the LASIK would ruin my contact lenses? He asked me what type do I use, and I said the hard contacts…and he said it was fine. Why is everything suddenly so contradictory? He then said glasses and contacts are fine to use until you are 40. WTH.

I asked if I could get a copy of my medical records for my own personal use and also a copy for my regular optometrist that I see. I also want a record, in case I do intend to send in a letter of complaint. I don’t think it’s alright to rush a surgery and to have me experience unnecessary anxiety and pain because they just want the $$.

He then asked me if I had received the money back,  I said no. They said to make sure I chase that up if I don’t get it in the next few days. I said okay.

I talked to my sister who had studied law in university and she said to document everything that was said (hard with my goldfish memory) and perhaps we would write a letter of complaint.

I personally wouldn’t want anyone to go through what I did. I don’t think LASIK is as good or as magical as they make it out to be. How many others have had to go through these botched surgeries? I can’t be the only one right?

-Angry

Lasik failure :(

I was so worried about post surgery complications, I didn’t even consider that the procedure would be a failure…

Prior to the surgery, I was given the choice to take some sleeping tablets to help “relax me”.. and of course I took it.. I was nervous as hell.. but little did I know what would happen next.

I don’t know how often this happens, but I was all gowned up with the hairnet, shoe covers, and ready to get lasik. I had to go through numerous stinging eyedrops, face disinfected, text over my eyes…and then they propped openmy eyes with something so I couldn’t blink.. that was a bit painful. I had to stare at a green light above me that sort of suctioned onto my eye. It was uncomfortable, there was drilling sounds, I was scared shitless. I think I knew something was wrong because the machine kept coming off and back on to my eye…what felt like an eternity later (but was probably a minute later), the doctor aborted the surgery. He had made two incisions in the flaps of my eye to try lift them, but apparently couldn’t because the shape of me eyes were weird. But mate, aren’t you supposed to check that pre-surgery? At that time I was too drowsy to say anything and really remember much.. I was taken to a recovery area with a ned.. and given an icepack for my now inflammed rye.. they were talking about there being bubbles in my eyes. WTF.

The doctor pulled me back into his room and tried to explain what happened, but he used all this medical jargon (about eyes) which I didn’t understand and was too sleepy to ask about. Why do they do that? After drugging you up telling you all this important stuff? He took out the after lasik pack which had been shown to me by a optometrist assistant prior to going into the surgery. He chucked away the antibiotic eyedrops and said “You won’t need this”. But what if I do? You have made two cuts in my eye! I can see the blood lines there and it freaks me out.

I can’t remember the last time I felt so disappointed, dissatisfied , disgusted, depressed, and yet damn angry. I have been knocked out the rest of the day. All that damn anxiety and dread leading up to the surgery day…

They also made me pay upfront BEFORE i had the surgery. What scammers. In the end they apparently “refunded” it to me on my credit card.. but honestly I can’t see it there yet…I won’t let them get away with that one. 😤😤😤

Some of my friends have told me to sue them for medical negligence. Whilst it sounds like s annoying and long-winded expensive process… I wouldn’t want anyone else to go through what I did and who knows how long my eyes will take to recover? They didn’t even tell me if I can wear contacts again.. do I have to wear sunglasses everywhere? Am I not allowed to wash my hair with shampoo? Which is what their information sheets say, but they didn’t write one up for botched surgeries.

A mixture of guilt and sadness also lies within my mind. Why did I want so bad to not have glasses? I guess they might be the safest option now…

-Sad

Why I hate glasses

Exercising with glasses is a shit house. Glasses falls off, fogs up, and vision is blurry.

That’s what I told myself anyways…That’s why I wore contacts everyday,no matter where or what I was doing. I just feel self conscious, ugly, and not myself. When I feel contacts, I just feel so much more confident in myself that I don’t need to keep pushing up those stupid glasses that don’t ever seem to fit on my face. I just hate all the photos with me on glasses.. you can’t even see my eyes!!

That’s until I went for an appointment to see if I was eligible for Lasik surgery last week. He told me that my cornea was quite thin! The layer on top of the eye…I wonder if this is from my overuse of contact lenses 😦 Apparently you should only use it for 8 hours maximum a day, but I know for sure I wear them for 12-14 hours a day… eek..

 

Lasik Surgery

 

Just had an appointment to check my suitability for lasik eye surgery last week…It feels surreal and almost like a pyramid scheme…No glasses or contacts for the rest of my life? Too good to be true surely.

The whole appointment from start to finish took about 2 hours and I had to see three different health professionals.

The first was technician who did all the initial tests and photographs that I thought normally the optometrist would do.. Then I went to see the optometrist to review those results. Then lastly, the final boss…Saw the eye surgeon who went through what were my options and how much it would cost.

It iS expensive..$3000 to do each eye and to utterly honest I am scared shitless of them cutting into my eye and then use laser to burn off stuff in my eye. The eye surgeon booked me in a for an appointment, because he knew I would be too chicken to…and said I could confirm or cancel it the following week. He gave me some eyedrops, the brand name being FML (lol name) and I was instructed to use that 4 times a day until the scheduled surgery. I was to not wear contacts for 2 days prior to the surgery and no make up etc on the day of surgery. He also gave me some Pregabalin capsules that I was instructed to take 1 hour before the appointment, which apparently is supposed to calm the nerves.

I feel like if I don’t do it now, I might never do it ever. Then I will be chained to glasses and contacts for the rest of my life…And worried about infections..losing a contact…or breaking them and having to pay so much to replace it.

Have any of you guys had lasik done?

A Colourful Meaning

I bought a toy for my nephew’s first birthday, however, I didn’t realise it came in two different coloured boxes, pink and blue. As I bought it online, I didn’t realise there was an option to choose the colour and the first one I found was pink… When my sister saw it, she said, “You have to go back to change it to the blue one! He’s a boy!”.

I haven’t researched this, but why do we automatically associate a colour with being a girl or guy colour? From memory, my sister’s favourite colour as a child was baby blue…my favourite colour kept changing as I aged, I wouldn’t call myself feminine, but I most of the stuff I own is pink. Is it because I actually like this colour or has this been conditioned into my subconscious that girls need to like pink and look girly and shit?

Can you really just look at a colour and decide its gender? Why do some people associate some colours with being gender neutral? Some cultures see black as a bad colour and in other cultures it is white. Red is a lucky colour in China and apparently looking at green colours is supposed to be good for your eyes- hence why I got a green coloured iphone LOL. I don’t really understand…but maybe because I am not a parent…

Would be interested to hear your thoughts!

Expectations Vs Reality

Have you ever ordered one of those “Meal Prep Ready Kits? i.e HelloFresh etc?”, they contain all the ingredients and instructions to make the beautiful dishes that are pictured on the front of their brochures? You get super excited because you are going to end up with that awesome looking meal for dinner. Get that feeling? NO?  Well, anyway let me explain, how many times has it turned out like how you expected? The carrots you received became soggy in the fridge, your knives weren’t sharp enough to cut the vegetables up nicely like they did, you old stove cooktop doesn’t have accurate temperature settings, so your beef is a bit burnt. Your egg didn’t turn out that beautiful sunny way that you imagined it would be. You plate it up and take a photo of it for the sake of showing everyone the effort that you TRIED to make it like the picture. You write #Nailedit when you mean FAILED IT.

It not only looks shit, but it tastes shit too :(. Our great expectations can sometimes lead to great dissapointments as well. We hype ourselves up, this is the moment, this is the job we always wanted, this is the relationship that we always wanted… We all have this fake, unrealistic expectations that this is what you wanted…maybe…maybe just in your head. Perhaps some people are born more as dreamers than others. We don’t settle for what we have, we aren’t comfortable where we are…we always want…whatever is on the other side. Because the grass is always greener on the other side?  Isn’t it?  It really might be! Or it could end up being fake artificial grass. LOL.

 

What is the point of this post? I just wanted to say, there are so many expectations that I have had of myself…I turned the big 3-0 this year and it still amazes me that I still feel like the same kid that I was 12 years ago when I first finished high school. I had no idea what I would be doing, but I thought that by 30 I would be married, kids, stable job, house, dog, moved out… But, hey I am turning 30 in about 6 months and I certainly have none of that… Still single, have a pet turtle, still living with parents, on a contract job, STILL studying. But that is not what I am focussing on, I don’t want to be all negative and pessimistic. I think it’s okay to have expectations. Because I guess it gives you hope that things will change. I might be better off in 10 years than I imagined in my head and do you know what? I have realised some of those things, I don’t think I even necessarily want! It’s just that the people and environment have bred me to believe that’s what it takes to become an adult and to be seen as an adult by others.

Marriage? Maybe. Kids? Probably not. House? Yes, if I can still travel too…the loan is like a chain to my geet though :(. Dog? Yes, but I MIGHT even settle for just a cat, stable career? That’s a bit boring… I get bored in one job for too long :(.

Maybe our mindset changes, maybe we as people are just changing. Whatever it is, I am just saying it’s okay to not be where you thought you would be. Because you wouldn’t be where you are now if you didn’t walk the path you took.  Wow look at me trying to be philosophical and shit, but anyway, that’s my random rant for this week.

 

Thank you and Stay safe!

 

 

Be yourself

Find yourself someone who can accept you for who you are. Your faults, your strengths, who can understand the way you think..if they make you feel bad for being yourself, then they probably aren’t the right person for you.

I read somewhere before, that just because a relationship didn’t work out.. doesn’t mean that there is something broken or unlovable about you. Yes, maybe there is things you need to work on.. but that doesn’t mean that no one will ever love you. It can be sad when you get your heart broken… but sadly that’s part of life.

I don’t know if I believe in ‘The one’ anymore…maybe there will be many ‘The Ones’ and maybe there will just be one. But I truly believe if you put all your effort into something and it didn’t work out.. it’s not the end. It’s the beginning of something else. You change your perception.. you know a little bit better what you like and don’t like… you grow a little stronger.. even though you feel so weak.

Maybe there isn’t even ‘the one’ for you… and that’s fine. I think it’s fine. I believe You can live comfortably by yourself.. and that’s okay too. No one to hurt you, to worry you or cause you to be angry. Maybe a dog or cat. Who knows.

I don’t know. I just think take it as it is. Sometimes life doesn’t go your way.. but just gotta reflect on it and try bounce back.

Scared to be Lonely

When we are lonely, we wonder when we will ever find someone to share our life with…

When we finally get into a relationship, we are worried how long will it last for, what obstacles will we face.. what is our future? Are they the ‘one’ for me?

Is there even the ‘one’ for me? What if there are many others better than this ‘one’? Should I stay or should I go?

When we are in a relationship we should really let go of, we fear the loneliness again…

When we let go of that relationship, we fear if we make the right choice, but we are afraid to show our feelings…because you don’t want to be vulnerable…

When we try running back to the relationship, we may find out that they have already moved on and we are hurt again…even more hurt and lonely than before

When we are at this point, we ask ourselves, did the relationship make us anymore less lonely or more happy? Who said we had to be in a relationship to be happy?

When we realise this, we realise we can be happy now…and that being a alone doesn’t mean you are lonely. We have great friends, family, and most of all-pets to take away our loneliness

Random Rants: Regrets

Just got hit by a wave of regret today…

You know that feeling how you think you have it bad…but then you lose someone or something that had always been by your side and you regret taking them/that thing for granted? It could be a relationship, a beloved piece of clothing, or a job.

Maybe your mind might play tricks on you by making it seem better than it was, you remember all the good times and things that that they/it gave to you, but you forgot the way the relationship didn’t work, the item was not working as well as it once did, or the reasons why you left that job in the first place.

Alas, every end of something great can only open the door for things that are even greater.

You will meet someone or encounter something new that will blow your mind away… I guess in order to make room and time for something new, the old has to pass by.

But, it’s okay to feel sad, it’s okay to mourn for what you once had and lost. You don’t need to ‘cheer up’ or ‘look on the brighter side of things’…Because otherwise, you miss out on learning more valuable lessons.

Lessons about learning to take care of things more properly in the future, of not taking relationships or people for granted, and treasuring what is important to you most.

So, take your time, feel the regret, sadness, and loneliness. Embrace it. Fully. Let it do all it wants to. And then, embrace the next new thing.

 

 


 

Check out my podcast:

Stories of my Life

Support me to write a book

A clear room and a clear mind

I have finished tidying up my room! It took a good solid two weeks of tidying and cleaning, but it is DONE!

Do you know what benefits I have had in cleaning my room?

  1. I killed a spider
  2. I found about $25 of money in red packets and in loose change in my piggy bank!
  3. Found a lot of foreign currency I didn’t know I had! -$$ unknown
  4. Discovered socks and clothes that I didn’t even know I had.
  5. I can now pull out something from the hangers in my wardrobe without pulling out five others at the same time.
  6. I know where everything is! Because I basically went through everything!
  7. Less dust! As I finally cleaned the surfaces that had stuff on it for ages.
  8. I donated at least 10 bags of items to charity – benefit for society? HAhaha
  9. Found lots of photos, sticker photos and things from friends that I have stuck around my room – the colour really brightens up the place 🙂
  10. Everything just feels more organised! I love opening up a draw or a door and seeing everything I own at once.I have officially joined the Marie Kondo Kult- I am a life member now… Let me show you some before and after photos!

 

.These are the before photos…60154824_2368153593514804_1840298142356996096_n

59932337_650928768690216_8839527639925391360_n59892339_2465371656854155_5960548672721649664_n59902849_316557685687465_8365973264652042240_n

^I had over 140 coat hangers…I am so surprised I even have that many clothes to hang!!

After the 2 week cleaning spritz..

59978393_2020746451555376_4670461520591716352_n59930764_420044748586223_1858348025886277632_n59853439_456681201756563_7885472943713550336_n59890997_2261276747523922_2760368141040091136_n59573123_398980454285423_6973273236377174016_n59740037_824663451230904_6905694803602702336_n

And that’s a wrap on my cleaning spritz…and now let’s hope my mind gets cleared too. 🙂

I learnt a lot about learning to let go of things that have passed its expiry date…About things you have to let go in order to move on to better things..as Kondo says, how can you appreciate what “Sparks Joy” if you have too many things to look after?

Change will be coming soon!

Click here Support me to write a book !! 

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying- Marie Kondo

10825155805214

So I have finished the first book by Marie Kondo “The Life-changing Magic of Tidying” and have started listening to the audiobook for her second book. I think it is too early to tell if my life has changed from tidying…well technically I haven’t finished yet.. I am still in the process of getting rid of papers and books…It’s a bit hard…I went through all my notes from my University undergrad days…and there sure was a lot of trees that were sacrificed for my sake. :(. I feel bad for chucking away all the once important informations…but to be honest…when am I going to need it again?

Things are always changing in my profession, so whatever I was taught back then is probably out of date and superseded by some new information…

Going through all my books from university, I noticed that my style of studying changed dramatically throughout the year. I started with using just A4 clear plastic folders…then this turned into those folders in which you can bind papers together and still write on them…then in my later years I discovered the “ART OF BINDING”! And I bound all my notes for a subject in one big chunk…It was awesome..But it also meant I had to carry all of my notes despite maybe only needing just one lecture note.

That aside, I had to really think, what would I like to keep?

In the end the things that I kept were things that I thought maybe I would use in the future..for me personally it was things pertaining to Clinical Trials and Opioid Substitution therapies in which are the areas I work in at the moment. I also kept some mock oral exam scenarios…just incase I ever am able to get into teaching! I would love to be one of those on the other side of the examination table…

Marie Kondo said there are two main reasons why people find it difficult to discard things...
  1. 1. They are worried they might need that item in the future
  2. 2. They are afraid of letting go of the past and the memories attached to those objects.

    This really struck me hard. Why had I kept so much stuff? Was it because I wanted to remember the past? While cleaning up my room, I found letters, cards photos, random keepsakes of places I have travelled to and postcards…What was the point of keeping all of these things? I honestly don’t ever even look at it! They only get found by cleaning. ..Marie Kondo says many people say they want to be able to grow old and then have all of these memories to reflect back on the past... But what about living in the moment? Why do you want to live forever in the past? What happened to making good memories right now? Reminiscing greatly does not help in my opinion…unless you just want to remain stuck in the past.

I did find it hard to let go of all the excess items that I have hoarded. These things looked perfectly usable…HOWEVER, I did not use them. Marie Kondo also said, “If you look after your things, they will look after you”. I honestly do not think I look after most of my items well…No wonder they look sad and worn out! She stressed the importance of treating your things with respect and making sure that the items return to the home that they came from. She also shared in her book that she thanks her items for the hard work they have done for her for that day…that may sound crazy, but who knows…maybe your items will work for you longer :O..I personally think t doesn’t hurt to be grateful for what you have…

This clean has made me realise that I am just as bad of a hoarder as my parents…but you probably would not be able to tell at first glance at my room…It’s relatively clean…Minimal items on the floor..I have boxes, cupboards, and wardrobes that hide all my excess items. It looks clean, but it really isn’t…I’ve just created that illusion by putting all my things away behind closed doors…It made really think about my life…and have I also been stuffing all my true intentions, emotions, and hiding how who I am and what I truly feel behind closed doors?

So, I do believe that the tidying that I have been doing has really challenged the way I think about problems…am I really solving them ? Or just temporarily hiding it out of sight? In which they will resurface again each time I do a “Clean”…

How about you? Are you going to take the challenge and get into the  Life Changing Magic of Tidying? You never know what sort of life lessons you might learn from it!

 

❤ ❤ <# Click here Support me to write a book !!  ❤ ❤ ❤

The art of looking good: Guys VS Women

I was getting ready this morning …and it occurred to me, I feel like I spend a lot of effort when meeting people…

For girls:

  1. The shower to be clean and have freshly washed hair.
  2. Blow drying hair and adding copious amount of leave in conditioner and also add moisturiser and lotion to face
  3. Taking a large amount of time to try decide what to wear…factors that need to be considered is the weather…what I am going to do…Do I need pockets today?! What shoes will I wear…
  4. Then it’s time to paint your face, smile, eye brows and lips on.
  5. Then it’s time to straighten out your hideous hair which can take a loaning time when its stubborn. Then style with hair gels.
  6. Then need to choose hand bag and other accessories…such as necklaces? Watch? Lipbalm in bag?
  7. Then revaluate everything and check if you need to change anything.
  8. Spray some deodorant or perfume!

    For guys:

    1.Wake up
    2.Shower
    3. Wears the first clothes that the see in the morning and they only have one pair of shoes to go out with.

    Done!

    It’s weird…when I see a guy has showered. I feel like that’s already a lot of effort…But then in comparison, doesn’t the girl make wayyyy more effort?
    Why is life so unfair?

BUT then again, I guess there is slightly more expectations that a guy should look a certain way. Society seems to have an obsession with masculinity that I don’t really understand… Guys like to have big muscles and they especially love showing off them gym photos. Weird Flex to me! If they are small, they feel self-conscious of it and try to hide their insecurity by pretending they don’t care…

 

I guess society has different expectations of the gold standards for women and men…Women need to pretty, petite and sexy…and men need to be masculine, tall, and handsome.

Too bad real life isn’t always gold standard

..Happy Easter!!

 

❤ ❤ <# Click here Support me to write a book !!  ❤ ❤ ❤