A Colourful Meaning

I bought a toy for my nephew’s first birthday, however, I didn’t realise it came in two different coloured boxes, pink and blue. As I bought it online, I didn’t realise there was an option to choose the colour and the first one I found was pink… When my sister saw it, she said, “You have to go back to change it to the blue one! He’s a boy!”.

I haven’t researched this, but why do we automatically associate a colour with being a girl or guy colour? From memory, my sister’s favourite colour as a child was baby blue…my favourite colour kept changing as I aged, I wouldn’t call myself feminine, but I most of the stuff I own is pink. Is it because I actually like this colour or has this been conditioned into my subconscious that girls need to like pink and look girly and shit?

Can you really just look at a colour and decide its gender? Why do some people associate some colours with being gender neutral? Some cultures see black as a bad colour and in other cultures it is white. Red is a lucky colour in China and apparently looking at green colours is supposed to be good for your eyes- hence why I got a green coloured iphone LOL. I don’t really understand…but maybe because I am not a parent…

Would be interested to hear your thoughts!

Not Everyone is cut out to become a Parent

Once a couple has been married a few years, the natural questions they most commonly will be asked is, “So when are you having kids?”. Our current society has this expectation of young couples to start families, ASAP. However, we are often forgetting that life just gets busier and busier. People are more focussed on building their careers, travelling the world, and doing other great things, it’s hard to stop and try to fit having kids in there. I solemnly believe that having kids is not everyone’s cup of tea…It might be the right thing for one couple, but shouldn’t be expected for every couple out there.

 

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate kids. I absolutely LOVE playing with my nephew or other people’s kids. I used to serve as a Sunday School teacher for many years…people know I love kids and I am good with them, but that does not necessarily mean I will or want to have my own kids. There is a difference in playing with kids during their happiest times and not having enough sleep for the last 3 months because your kid will not stop crying in the middle of the night. There are so many things that are more important in my life at this time and kids don’t fit into the equation. I am working in two jobs, studying a graduate certificate, and also working on this blog, and ideas for my book. I just can’t imagine having time to fit in kids as well and I think that is absolutely fine. Right now, I am still saving up money to buy my own home. I don’t know how I will be able to afford to raise a child, let alone be able to send them to school, and pay for all those additional expenses. Not everyone will make a great parent, some parents are too selfish and won’t look after their kids properly and this leads to some kids getting abused, blamed, and neglected, their parents shouldn’t have kids. Just because you gave birth to a child, doesn’t mean you will always love them and this is why so many kids end up in foster care, orphanages, and on the streets. 

 

In saying that, I have friends whose biggest goal and dream in life are to become a great mother or father. They feel like it is their life purpose to have kids and to make sure that they turn out alright. The human population would slowly die out if we didn’t have kids, it means there will be no younger workforce to look after the elderly and to take up laborious jobs that older people can’t do. The younger generation is our future and I agree it is important to have kids, but the world is already overpopulated in a way and in developing countries, it is a big issue and that is why China implemented the ‘One-Child Policy’ for a period of time to reduce overpopulation in China. Parents and Grandparents often encourage their children and grandchildren to produce offspring because that is what their grandparents and parents wanted from them. Yes, it is good to have kids, but not everyone should have them.

 

I believe you need to have a calling to be a parent. It’s not for everyone and it is not for me. I love kids, however, I can’t imagine revolving my whole life around the raising of the child and blaming myself if they didn’t turn out well. While the majority of heterosexual couples will probably end up having kids, I think it is absolutely fine not to have kids and instead chase your dream career or other aspirations.

 

Almost the end of 2019…

I think it’s time for a reflection.

Big things, small things, decisions… risks, investments..friendships, relationships, money, time, study, work, career….goals and dreams.

If only we were able to do it all and achieve it all… Sometimes you feel that one life-time is not enough. You feel like there is much to chase after, yet you also fail to appreciate what you have achieved already and what you have.

Sometimes I feel regret at what I sacrifice in order to get closer to what I want to achieve. I question myself, is it worth it? To be so driven towards something that gives you temporary joy when you achieve. I am somewhat afraid that when I finally reach the goals and final destination to where I want to go, I fear it won’t make me as happy as I had hoped.

This fear… will it stop me from trying? I think I will regret most not trying hard enough. But even though i am striving towards my goal…I am also trying to pursue my career goals… and then there’s my bucket list of things I wanna do before I am 30.

I think I am going through what I call a “one third of life crisis”. Not sure what I want, but everyone around me seems to me talking of marriage, getting married, having kids, buying houses… and then there’s me.. not sure what I want to do. I am sure I am not the only one who feels that way though… life is meant to be more simple than we make it. We complicate it by over thinking, by worrying about what hasn’t happened yet… or worrying that something will never happen.

FOMO is so real. I try to avoid it, aside from Linked In and a fake FB account.. I don’t go on social media. But even in the brief moments I have gone on these apps…I’ve managed to make myself feel bad.. I compared myself to this person because they got into medicine this year… oh and this one got a “Senior Pharmacist” position, even though I graduated first!! Or this one got into the hospital residency program…so much to compare myself to…you get my gist. I know I am supposed to feel grateful for where I am, so many would kill to be in my position..two well-paying jobs… good work place… mostly good colleagues…

But sometimes, your brain just shuts down and just wants to run away from it all and just have a break, before your break.

How Babies change your life

So yesterday, my sister gave birth to a healthy 3.96kg. 52cm long baby boy! Congratulations!!!

It really is a miracle, or magic of some sort…that a baby can grow in the middle of a womens belly every 9 months and become a living being…it is incredible..yet none of us would be here if it weren’t for this miracle.

If you think about it, carrying a baby around with you for 9 months is quite a self-less act…you have to watch what you eat, what you do, and take numerous supplements and things that are meant to be ‘healthy’ for the baby. Your life becomes so focussed on the baby…

It doesn’t stop at just carrying the baby…after giving birth…you are forever scarred in someway by the method of delivery, for my sister a massive scar where the C-section was conducted. Your body may never be the same again… You have a living being that depends on you to survive.

Without you, it is helpless..you are the one who gives it a life source of nutrients..care and love.

You have to pause your life…maternity or paternity leave for however long…

I imagine that your life would start revolving around your child even as they grow older…You have to take them to school, prepare their lunches, buy uniform, books…go to Student-Teacher Interviews…Fundraisers for school, casual days, birthday parties…deal with conflicts like bullying or some other issue.

It sounds like a big commitment…

So why do so many people choose to give up (?) so much of their time, money, and freedom for their children?

It sounds like such a great sacrifice..

Maybe I don’t understand, because I am not a mother. But truly, mothers and fathers are quite selfless human beings when they brought us into the world.

Sure, they may be far from perfect and at times, even annoying. But they made a decision to raise you, to the best of their ability.

 

Thank you