Disappointed

I went back today to the laser eye surgery centre. The doctor seemed nervous as he asked me how I was before I could say “Fine”( a clear lie, since my face did not say I was fine).. he said, “Disappointed Right?”. He said it was unfortunate that the surgery had not gone fine.

I had a list of questions prepared for him about how long I needed to use the eye drops for and if I could wash my hair with shampoo! It’s been super annoying not being able to wash my hair or face…incase I injure the eye even more. Apparently, according to the doctor I have to use both eye drops until the end of the week and then the lubricant can be continued until whenever. He said, I should be able to use the contact lenses again from the following Monday…but warned it might feel more uncomfortable than normal. That does not give me any confidence at all TBH.

I said, didn’t you say that the eye drops you had prescribed prior to me getting the LASIK would ruin my contact lenses? He asked me what type do I use, and I said the hard contacts…and he said it was fine. Why is everything suddenly so contradictory? He then said glasses and contacts are fine to use until you are 40. WTH.

I asked if I could get a copy of my medical records for my own personal use and also a copy for my regular optometrist that I see. I also want a record, in case I do intend to send in a letter of complaint. I don’t think it’s alright to rush a surgery and to have me experience unnecessary anxiety and pain because they just want the $$.

He then asked me if I had received the money back,  I said no. They said to make sure I chase that up if I don’t get it in the next few days. I said okay.

I talked to my sister who had studied law in university and she said to document everything that was said (hard with my goldfish memory) and perhaps we would write a letter of complaint.

I personally wouldn’t want anyone to go through what I did. I don’t think LASIK is as good or as magical as they make it out to be. How many others have had to go through these botched surgeries? I can’t be the only one right?

-Angry

Lasik failure :(

I was so worried about post surgery complications, I didn’t even consider that the procedure would be a failure…

Prior to the surgery, I was given the choice to take some sleeping tablets to help “relax me”.. and of course I took it.. I was nervous as hell.. but little did I know what would happen next.

I don’t know how often this happens, but I was all gowned up with the hairnet, shoe covers, and ready to get lasik. I had to go through numerous stinging eyedrops, face disinfected, text over my eyes…and then they propped openmy eyes with something so I couldn’t blink.. that was a bit painful. I had to stare at a green light above me that sort of suctioned onto my eye. It was uncomfortable, there was drilling sounds, I was scared shitless. I think I knew something was wrong because the machine kept coming off and back on to my eye…what felt like an eternity later (but was probably a minute later), the doctor aborted the surgery. He had made two incisions in the flaps of my eye to try lift them, but apparently couldn’t because the shape of me eyes were weird. But mate, aren’t you supposed to check that pre-surgery? At that time I was too drowsy to say anything and really remember much.. I was taken to a recovery area with a ned.. and given an icepack for my now inflammed rye.. they were talking about there being bubbles in my eyes. WTF.

The doctor pulled me back into his room and tried to explain what happened, but he used all this medical jargon (about eyes) which I didn’t understand and was too sleepy to ask about. Why do they do that? After drugging you up telling you all this important stuff? He took out the after lasik pack which had been shown to me by a optometrist assistant prior to going into the surgery. He chucked away the antibiotic eyedrops and said “You won’t need this”. But what if I do? You have made two cuts in my eye! I can see the blood lines there and it freaks me out.

I can’t remember the last time I felt so disappointed, dissatisfied , disgusted, depressed, and yet damn angry. I have been knocked out the rest of the day. All that damn anxiety and dread leading up to the surgery day…

They also made me pay upfront BEFORE i had the surgery. What scammers. In the end they apparently “refunded” it to me on my credit card.. but honestly I can’t see it there yet…I won’t let them get away with that one. 😤😤😤

Some of my friends have told me to sue them for medical negligence. Whilst it sounds like s annoying and long-winded expensive process… I wouldn’t want anyone else to go through what I did and who knows how long my eyes will take to recover? They didn’t even tell me if I can wear contacts again.. do I have to wear sunglasses everywhere? Am I not allowed to wash my hair with shampoo? Which is what their information sheets say, but they didn’t write one up for botched surgeries.

A mixture of guilt and sadness also lies within my mind. Why did I want so bad to not have glasses? I guess they might be the safest option now…

-Sad

A Colourful Meaning

I bought a toy for my nephew’s first birthday, however, I didn’t realise it came in two different coloured boxes, pink and blue. As I bought it online, I didn’t realise there was an option to choose the colour and the first one I found was pink… When my sister saw it, she said, “You have to go back to change it to the blue one! He’s a boy!”.

I haven’t researched this, but why do we automatically associate a colour with being a girl or guy colour? From memory, my sister’s favourite colour as a child was baby blue…my favourite colour kept changing as I aged, I wouldn’t call myself feminine, but I most of the stuff I own is pink. Is it because I actually like this colour or has this been conditioned into my subconscious that girls need to like pink and look girly and shit?

Can you really just look at a colour and decide its gender? Why do some people associate some colours with being gender neutral? Some cultures see black as a bad colour and in other cultures it is white. Red is a lucky colour in China and apparently looking at green colours is supposed to be good for your eyes- hence why I got a green coloured iphone LOL. I don’t really understand…but maybe because I am not a parent…

Would be interested to hear your thoughts!

Adelaide Fringe Show

Last week was a tough week with all sorts of new rules, legislations, and bans happening in Australia… I have been studying for an exam for almost three months and was going to take this exam on the 21st of March…HOWEVER, Mr Corona Virus decided to stop that from happening… 😦 The Prime Minister of Australia, Scott Morrison announced all non-essential meetings of over 500 people would need to be postponed or cancelled. So far, we haven’t received any further information as to when the exam will be. He announced this on Friday the 13th of March that this would take place on the 16th of March.

Anyways…Leading up to the exam, I like to do nothing but the bare minimum of stuff I need to do… Work, Exercise, and STUDY in all my spare moments. So I had no time to check out the Adelaide Fringe Festival (Which usually starts the start of March and Finishes Mid March), which I try to go to at least one event each year. I didn’t think I would make it this year, because…you know prioritising studying for the exam. HOWEVER, we found out on Friday 13th that the exam was cancelled, so I tried asking my friends last minute if they wanted to go to the festival…However, most of them already had other plans or have already been to the shows that I wanted to go to. All good. I will go by myself…with this ban in place, who knows when the next community event will be? Everything is being cancelled or postponed, left, right, centre.

I went to an art exhibition experience called ‘1000 Doors’…which is basically many doors…I don’t think there was 1000…but there was a hella lot of doors. If you think about it, doors are pretty interesting concepts…they hide behind them the unexpected, the unknown, and the secret. In hindsight, given the current situation the world was in, it was probably a mistake for me not to have worn gloves while opening those 1000s of doors… LOL.. anyways.

Prior to entering, they allow a gap between the previous guests and for you. There was only one rule, remember to close the doors and yes we could take photos. I was told that everyone experienced a different wave of familiarity, fear, or sensation in each type of room…I was super hyped and intrigued.  It was a super interesting experience, especially since I went by myself… I went at my own pace…it felt like a maze…and indoor adventure almost. The first door I walked through led me to an alleyway that reminded me so much of an old (and creepy) hospital corridor! Nostalgic. The lighting of each area also suited the different environments that they were trying to portray. Some cosy doors reminded me of my grandparents home in which I used to visit almost every week as a child. Some doors led to small places like a closet or a chimney. Some rooms felt like they were abandoned and made to look like a home for street people. There is one room in which you can only see through a small hole in the wall, lets you see into a super creepy room bathed in red light. Possibly an interrogation room? In some of the rooms, I felt like I was going back into time …one had a super old working radio and one a piano…I have attached some photos in this slide show here, unfortunately, because of the low lighting in some of the rooms and my haste in trying to take photos when no one was in them, led to some photos being too blurry to post :(.

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This is the Dolls House a three-storey recreation of a dolls house created by the Visionary Japanese artist Tatzu Nishi in the middle of Rundle Mall in the city centre of Adelaide. There was a long queue to go into the house and I stood among many young families grandparents, and kids to enter the magical looking building. I am amazed that he was able to build the house so quickly! He has only built something similar only one other time, and that was in Paris in France. Entering the house I didn’t know what to expect! It felt so much like a real house…with some real furniture, real fridges, sinks…yet everything was just so pink and so cute! Everything else was painted on…it really blended the real and the fake and you do feel somewhat like a doll. If someone living in a house that cute and bright, how could you not smile? I guess one downfall is one side of the house is completely made of glass so everyone can see what you are doing. LOL.

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Overall, I enjoyed my small escape from study, work, or exercise. The Prime Minister made another announcement today that because of the Corona Virus meaning that we can’t have gatherings of more than 100 people now… That will really affect big birthday parties…weddings…funerals… However, he says Universities and Schools should still go ahead as usual. He believes it’s better for kids to go to school rather than stay home and be looked after by grandparents who are at more risk of complications if they get the disease. There is also rule that there can’t be any more than two visitors at a time to aged care facility residents…they are also banning any children under 16 years old from going, except for exceptional circumstances. From the 1st of May, only those who have had their Flu Shot will be able to go into aged care facilities. No one who has come back from overseas in the last 14 days is also allowed to go in… All sorts of social gathering and activities have been recommended to be cancelled. Sounds like a really depressing time to live in aged care right now… :(…

In other terms of changes, The Prime Minister has asked ALL Australians to come back to  Australia as soon as possible and recommends no one leave UNLESS they really have to. Anyone who comes back from overseas from ANY country in the last 14 days has to self-isolate themselves for 14 days…failure to do so can be persecuted. I am really lucky that I didn’t have to cancel my trip last month to NZ and also that I don’t have to self-isolate… but unfortunately, my sister and her family are in Japan at the moment and they will be self-isolating for 14 days when they return to Adelaide this Saturday…

What a time to live in. :O

Stay Safe and wash your hands everyone!!

New Zealand: Things to do

I am back. With part two of the NZ related blog posts. I have tried putting the photos in a slideshow…hopefully that is more useful than the Mosaic with descriptions.

 Mildred Sound Full-Day Tour

Apparently a must-go…and we did…We had to travel for almost 5 hours on the bus there and 5 hours back to get there from Queenstown. During the time we went to Queenstown, they had only just reopened up the road for Tour Buses ONLY…It can be damaged and closed for a few days because of flooding (I think)… Apparently, there are more rainy days in Milfred than dry days…

Mirror Lake: This was one of the stops we made on the way to Milfred Sound and it is super pretty and worth making the trip for the photos…! This was one of the highlights of the day tour, to be honest! I didn’t even know we were going to be stopping here…The name ‘Mirror Lake’ suits it perfectly…as you can see the image of the mountain reflected so clearly onto the motionless and still water. It’s so calm…so Zen

Milford Sound Cruise:

The cruise was roughly 2 hours long and the package we got included lunch… Our boat was a Jucy Cruise Boat…and to be honest…I don’t know why I was expecting a buffet-style lunch…but man I was severely disappointed! We all got either a vegetarian meal of rice and vegetables…or a chicken calzone… and everyone got a kids pop top…Let’s just say I did not finish my food…and I am glad I had eaten snacks along the way on the trip. My friend and I went to the front of the boat to take photos…and when the boat came to a waterfall we thought we would be safe…waterfalls are just light rain isn’t it? No…we got drenched from top to bottom… 😦 was the photo worth it? Probably not! haha But the captain of the boat was telling us…there is a folklore that this water will make you 10 years younger…given I already look like I am 18…I think I am good. haha.

For the next waterfall, we went to…I smartly stayed inside the boat and took a photo from there instead. As you can see it looks like the boat went in a terrible storm! Everyone that braved staying outside was fully drenched…even worse off than the first waterfall. LOL.

 

Milfred Sound Cruise was great for the photos…but I mainly just soaked in the views..as it was quite windy outside and I had no phone strap or anything I was afraid to take photos at the front of the boat, but luckily my friend took plenty of awesome photos and I have included some on the blog.

Preparation for getting off the boat was a hassle…The captain announced half an hour before we went back on land that now would be an ideal time to go to one of the two toilets on the boat before landing…because when we landed we need to go back on the bus ASAP. So anyway, being girls my friend and I lined up for literally half an hour to get in one of those precious toilets. So, if you are a girl, make sure you go before the rush before the landing.

Glenorchy Horse Riding -Half day trip (2 hour horse trek)

A bus picked us up near our hotel…and picked up several others that were going to Glenorchy too. The bus trip from Queenstown was about an hours drive away. The tour that we went with had their own stables about another 15 minutes away from the main town that we stopped briefly in to let others off to do other activities in the same area.

The horses in NZ seemed huge in comparison to the ones I had ridden in Adelaide…Maybe it was just that the one I rode was an ex-racing horse?! I forgot the name of my horse….but he was a bit temperamental and had a bit of a mind of his own…but that’s alright…It was fun..and I didn’t get kicked off.  We were taught how to instruct the horse to move forward, how to stop, and how to lead them to go left or right. We were also instructed on how to stand up in the stirrups to remove pressure from kidneys when they pooped or peed.

The trek was nice, gentle, but to be honest the two-hour trek is a bit too long…I think the one hour trip would be sufficient enough. On our horse ride, we saw a few birds and some wild rabbits..other than that we didn’t encounter any other wildlife, unfortunately.

 

Kiwi Conservation Park:

Entrance to this park is expensive, but all proceeds go into maintaining the park, so I guess you can see it as a donation. My friend and I were curious to have a look at the Kiwi bird, which we haven’t seen before. Unfortunately, Kiwi’s are nocturnal so their habitat was in almost complete darkness and you couldn’t really take photos of them. They are an adorable and unique bird though! A super long beak!

Skyline Gondola:

Paragliding – G-Force, make sure you call before you go up to the top because they won’t refund your luge ride, unfortunately. That’s what happened to us, we were not told by the Viator company that we had to call the company at 8:30am of the morning of our flight to check if weather conditions were suitable for paragliding…we found out when we got up to the top… A return ride on the gondola was about $41! Not cheap… I was quite disappointed that we weren’t able to go :(, we, however, got a full refund as it was not our fault that the trip was cancelled.

Luge Ride:

I think it’s a fairly unique experience and pretty fun. Sort of like driving a little car that does not use any electricity, but moves from gravity. Watch out for kids that overtake you though… A family-friendly activity.

 

Park Run-NZ

Park Runs are timed 5km run across the world on Saturday morning and NZ is no exception. The run is held in the park in the city…While I didn’t run, I walked the track and enjoyed the views. This is a free event and is something you could consider doing if you have nothing to do on a Saturday morning.

City

On certain days, there are small market stalls that are set up in the city. A regular busker there and his singing sheepdog ‘Happy’, is incredibly cute. There are many delicious restaurants in the city, please see my other post on food.

Hiking: 

New Zealand is so beautiful…there are numerous number of walking trails around the city that lead to amazing views,

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Travel is like medicine for the soul

While I was studying at University, I would always go overseas each year in the Uni holidays, without fail. It was the event that I most looked forward to at the end of the year. It was the sweet reward for my hard efforts that I put in through the year…Working hard to pass my subjects and then working hard after class in my part-time job to save up for my precious holidays. To me, travelling was medicine for the soul. Unfortunately, since I have started working full-time, it has been incredibly difficult for me to go on holidays because this is subject to being able to take leave, and if you have enough annual leave left.

There are many benefits to travelling, this includes benefits to one’s health. It can decrease stress and also be good for the clearing of the mind and allow you to relax. It also has many physical health benefits, because it will force you to get moving around and doing different activities that you normally would not do. It is good for your mind to because you get to become familiar with a new culture and the customs of a society that is different from your own. You get to meet new people, taste exotic foods, and see beautiful things that are greater than anything you have ever imagined. I firmly believe that those who travel have more stories to tell and are more interesting people to talk to and spend time with. Travel can teach us an invaluable lesson in life, teaching you to appreciate what you have, or encouraging you to try harder to achieve what other cities have. Basically, you are going to ‘A Whole New World’. Pun intended.

In saying that, there are a few things that travel is unfortunately not good for. Travel costs money. Usually. A LOT of it. You need to buy flight tickets, accommodation, transport, food, travel insurance, and so forth. It is not a cheap activity, especially if you are struggling to survive day by day, how can you afford to travel? Or if you are trying to save up for a house or something else…it just sometimes doesn’t seem necessary. It can be risky too, especially if you are going to third world countries where you may contract an infectious disease. You could also be at higher risk of being mugged, or a target of scammers because you are a foreigner. For some, who have a fear of flying, water, or motion sickness in general, travel could cause more headache than it is worth. It is also a time-consuming activity, which generally requires lots of planning…and if you factor the time you spend ‘travelling’ it could be days of precious annual leave that is being used up, in which you could be ‘Chilling at home’.

Travel has a multitude of benefits for one’s mental and physical health and allows us to become more culturally informed. However, it is not a luxury that everyone can afford and it also comes with some risks and dangers. However, for me, travel is a medicine for my soul and the longer I don’t travel, the less alive I feel. Even if it is a temporary medication that drowns my sorrows, only for a moment, it is worth it.

—-

Can’t believe it is 2020.. This year i am going to be posting short like essays like this, which I use as a preparation activity for my exams 😀 …

A clear room and a clear mind

I have finished tidying up my room! It took a good solid two weeks of tidying and cleaning, but it is DONE!

Do you know what benefits I have had in cleaning my room?

  1. I killed a spider
  2. I found about $25 of money in red packets and in loose change in my piggy bank!
  3. Found a lot of foreign currency I didn’t know I had! -$$ unknown
  4. Discovered socks and clothes that I didn’t even know I had.
  5. I can now pull out something from the hangers in my wardrobe without pulling out five others at the same time.
  6. I know where everything is! Because I basically went through everything!
  7. Less dust! As I finally cleaned the surfaces that had stuff on it for ages.
  8. I donated at least 10 bags of items to charity – benefit for society? HAhaha
  9. Found lots of photos, sticker photos and things from friends that I have stuck around my room – the colour really brightens up the place 🙂
  10. Everything just feels more organised! I love opening up a draw or a door and seeing everything I own at once.I have officially joined the Marie Kondo Kult- I am a life member now… Let me show you some before and after photos!

 

.These are the before photos…60154824_2368153593514804_1840298142356996096_n

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^I had over 140 coat hangers…I am so surprised I even have that many clothes to hang!!

After the 2 week cleaning spritz..

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And that’s a wrap on my cleaning spritz…and now let’s hope my mind gets cleared too. 🙂

I learnt a lot about learning to let go of things that have passed its expiry date…About things you have to let go in order to move on to better things..as Kondo says, how can you appreciate what “Sparks Joy” if you have too many things to look after?

Change will be coming soon!

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The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying- Marie Kondo

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So I have finished the first book by Marie Kondo “The Life-changing Magic of Tidying” and have started listening to the audiobook for her second book. I think it is too early to tell if my life has changed from tidying…well technically I haven’t finished yet.. I am still in the process of getting rid of papers and books…It’s a bit hard…I went through all my notes from my University undergrad days…and there sure was a lot of trees that were sacrificed for my sake. :(. I feel bad for chucking away all the once important informations…but to be honest…when am I going to need it again?

Things are always changing in my profession, so whatever I was taught back then is probably out of date and superseded by some new information…

Going through all my books from university, I noticed that my style of studying changed dramatically throughout the year. I started with using just A4 clear plastic folders…then this turned into those folders in which you can bind papers together and still write on them…then in my later years I discovered the “ART OF BINDING”! And I bound all my notes for a subject in one big chunk…It was awesome..But it also meant I had to carry all of my notes despite maybe only needing just one lecture note.

That aside, I had to really think, what would I like to keep?

In the end the things that I kept were things that I thought maybe I would use in the future..for me personally it was things pertaining to Clinical Trials and Opioid Substitution therapies in which are the areas I work in at the moment. I also kept some mock oral exam scenarios…just incase I ever am able to get into teaching! I would love to be one of those on the other side of the examination table…

Marie Kondo said there are two main reasons why people find it difficult to discard things...
  1. 1. They are worried they might need that item in the future
  2. 2. They are afraid of letting go of the past and the memories attached to those objects.

    This really struck me hard. Why had I kept so much stuff? Was it because I wanted to remember the past? While cleaning up my room, I found letters, cards photos, random keepsakes of places I have travelled to and postcards…What was the point of keeping all of these things? I honestly don’t ever even look at it! They only get found by cleaning. ..Marie Kondo says many people say they want to be able to grow old and then have all of these memories to reflect back on the past... But what about living in the moment? Why do you want to live forever in the past? What happened to making good memories right now? Reminiscing greatly does not help in my opinion…unless you just want to remain stuck in the past.

I did find it hard to let go of all the excess items that I have hoarded. These things looked perfectly usable…HOWEVER, I did not use them. Marie Kondo also said, “If you look after your things, they will look after you”. I honestly do not think I look after most of my items well…No wonder they look sad and worn out! She stressed the importance of treating your things with respect and making sure that the items return to the home that they came from. She also shared in her book that she thanks her items for the hard work they have done for her for that day…that may sound crazy, but who knows…maybe your items will work for you longer :O..I personally think t doesn’t hurt to be grateful for what you have…

This clean has made me realise that I am just as bad of a hoarder as my parents…but you probably would not be able to tell at first glance at my room…It’s relatively clean…Minimal items on the floor..I have boxes, cupboards, and wardrobes that hide all my excess items. It looks clean, but it really isn’t…I’ve just created that illusion by putting all my things away behind closed doors…It made really think about my life…and have I also been stuffing all my true intentions, emotions, and hiding how who I am and what I truly feel behind closed doors?

So, I do believe that the tidying that I have been doing has really challenged the way I think about problems…am I really solving them ? Or just temporarily hiding it out of sight? In which they will resurface again each time I do a “Clean”…

How about you? Are you going to take the challenge and get into the  Life Changing Magic of Tidying? You never know what sort of life lessons you might learn from it!

 

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The art of looking good: Guys VS Women

I was getting ready this morning …and it occurred to me, I feel like I spend a lot of effort when meeting people…

For girls:

  1. The shower to be clean and have freshly washed hair.
  2. Blow drying hair and adding copious amount of leave in conditioner and also add moisturiser and lotion to face
  3. Taking a large amount of time to try decide what to wear…factors that need to be considered is the weather…what I am going to do…Do I need pockets today?! What shoes will I wear…
  4. Then it’s time to paint your face, smile, eye brows and lips on.
  5. Then it’s time to straighten out your hideous hair which can take a loaning time when its stubborn. Then style with hair gels.
  6. Then need to choose hand bag and other accessories…such as necklaces? Watch? Lipbalm in bag?
  7. Then revaluate everything and check if you need to change anything.
  8. Spray some deodorant or perfume!

    For guys:

    1.Wake up
    2.Shower
    3. Wears the first clothes that the see in the morning and they only have one pair of shoes to go out with.

    Done!

    It’s weird…when I see a guy has showered. I feel like that’s already a lot of effort…But then in comparison, doesn’t the girl make wayyyy more effort?
    Why is life so unfair?

BUT then again, I guess there is slightly more expectations that a guy should look a certain way. Society seems to have an obsession with masculinity that I don’t really understand… Guys like to have big muscles and they especially love showing off them gym photos. Weird Flex to me! If they are small, they feel self-conscious of it and try to hide their insecurity by pretending they don’t care…

 

I guess society has different expectations of the gold standards for women and men…Women need to pretty, petite and sexy…and men need to be masculine, tall, and handsome.

Too bad real life isn’t always gold standard

..Happy Easter!!

 

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