Returning Home to Adelaide

Coming back to Adelaide for the first time since I left was weird… at times it felt like nothing had changed… but underneath the surface, when you looked a little closer, things has definitely changed.

Since I made the move to Melbourne in August, my friend had a baby, 2 of my friends separated from their partners, my sister finally moved into their new home, my dad was diagnosed with diabetes….my brother bought an ipad for $13!! Houses have been built, buildings have been knocked down, many shops have been forced to close, the covid-19 situation leaves its sting on each business. There are QR codes at each business so that people can check in.

My home hasn’t changed … it’s still as messy and full of hoarded stuff.. everytime I see it, I feel sad.. I feel like I want to clean it up, but it’s not really up to me to tell my parents they need to start throwing away…. for example, I tried washing my clothes this morning and the Washing Machine started shaking, vibrating, and stopped working completely… I had to HANDWASH every item and I know I did a shit job. Lol. Haven’t handwashed anything in forever. I dont even have a bucket to do that in Melbourne.. and of course we don’t have a dryer so some of my clothes are still wet 😅😅😅….

My pet turtle is hugeeee now!! Maybeeeee coz I haven’t seen her for so long!! But she looks hugeee! I am so sure my dad is feeeding her wayyy too much.

My little nephew is as cute as ever!! He has been growing taller and since he has started walkingc he has been losing his baby fat! No longer the chubby baby I once knew! He can saw random words on demand..i.e. the colour BLUE, the name EMMA (the yellow wiggle), and the numbers 8 and 9.

It’s weird feeling like a stranger in your own home, I feel like a guest, but then I also feel like I am not. Hard to explain.

Was this whirlwind last minute trip worth it? Definitely… I just hope there won’t be any last minute breakouts which mean I have to immediately self-isolate or quarantine when I head back to Melbourne… fingers and toes are crossed.

Now, let’s all enjoy that weird time between Christmas and New years.

Cheers to a better year in 2021 🥂

Stages of starting a new job

Night before first day: *Can’t sleep. Too excited/nervous/omfg. (Also can’t wait to start so you can start earning some $$ again )

First day. Wake up wayyyy tooo early. Sleep deprived. Wear a cake of make up and do your hair.. then you remembered you have to wear a mask.. and ruin face. Dress nicely in your freshly ironed clothes and clean polished shoes. Paid for expensive AF visitor parking for a short orientation. Get a mugshot of you taken as if you were a criminal on. your badge. Try to remember the names of all the people you met…then later realise u forgot to ask about how to use the staff carpark.

Week 2: You learnt from the first week that you don’t need to do makeup on your whole face. Just half will do. Clothes? They don’t need ironing right? They will become wrinkled anyways… you bond with the other newstarters.. only they seem to understand your pain and stress from being the “Noob” at work .;(.

Week 3: Let’s just do the eyebrows… everything else comes off anyways. They won’t notice if I wear the same thing twice in a week… right? At this stage you have made some friends, but also some enemies at work. Avoid those who hate in you and just remember it’s alright. You sort of know what you are doing.. kind of. You’ve made a bit of a routine at work. What snacks to get.. the free coffee and tomatoe soup. You got this :0

Week 4.. ? To be continued

Covid-19 in the Hospital

So I just read an email that was sent this morning to all staff at my hospital…Apparently a patient who had been in a normal ward for 6 weeks has tested positive for Covid-19. Prior to that he had already had 3 negative tests…So they are investigating how he got it and they have to quarantine all the staff that have been near him during this time. Since I have just started, it is extremely unlikely that I was exposed. But it makes me wonder, am I really safe at work?

I like talking to people and socialising at lunch..it’s great to make friends…but who knows…would the person sitting across from me be positive for Covid?

To help myself feel better, I do remember to scan the QR code that each break room has and I register what time I was there. I wear my mask in the hospital..I am constantly cleaning and sanitising my hands…But who knows?!

I am sure I will hear more about this tomorrow… so far no one in Pharmacy has tested positive as of yet, but I think there are some staff in precautionary quarantine until they get their results back.

What a ‘unprecedented‘ time we live in. (ALWAYS wanted to use that word since hearing it so much these days lol ..XD)..

Stay safe~ and wear your mask!

ps. It makes me feel better that I am living on my own and am at no risk to anyone around me. I haven’t been allowed to see any of my relatives since I moved out. I guess that’s all that I can be grateful for :)!

pps. Can’t wait to be able to play badminton again T_T..I am getting fatter each day T_T…oh yeah I met a colleague that plays badminton! Super excited…..

The benefits and pains of wearing a facemasks

Since I have come to Melbourne I have been wearing a mask daily and have made a list of the unexpected perks and slightly irritations from wearing a mask.

Benefits:

Obviously to protect yourself and others from coronavirus …

Covers up pimples

Don’t need make up on bottom half of the face

Protection from the sun?

Don’t have to fake smile at people

Don’t have to talk to people if you don’t want

Can look happy or sad secretly

Can yawn whenever and people can’t tell discreetly

Could possibly eat things that smell bad and people won’t be able to tell

Less people smoking in public!

Makes some people look better

Not so good things about masks:

If you don’t have one on (because you want to drink water or eat a snack), you feel guilty and that people look at you weirdly.

I can’t snack as much as I would want.

As above, I’ve been drinking less water. 😦

No one can hear me when I talk and I can’t hear other people.

I can’t tell who is talking to me :(.

Can’t recognise people in general.

The mask plus the faceshield really fogs up the shield or any glasses I am wearing…

Face gets itchy ..

What I have learnt from wearing a mask for 3 weeks:

Feels so good to not wear a mask at home!

You really have to stare at people’s eyes to try tell if they are smiling or not…

It is fascinating to see how people look under their mask…so many people look so much better with their mask on..weirdly! Or maybe it’s because they only put eye make up on? ? ahahahha…

On a different note, I have to collect something from the post-office because I wasn’t home to collect the delivery…sadly their hours of operation are seriously cutting it close to the time I am able to collect it. FINGERS CROSSED I will be able to get it post work tomorrow.

Today was my first day at the hospital in whcih I will be at for the next six months…I am still feeling quite shy and cautious about all the differences that I may face while working at the hospital…however, there are quite a few pharmacists from overseas…I am assuming that would be more different?!

I hope tomorrow I will make more progress and be more confidence and be able to contribute more to the team…

Work Orientation

I was too tired yesterday to update sorry…spent most of the night trying to finish some online training before the live Webinar we had today starting at 7:30am 💤💤. My sleep pattern has been terrible lately!! If it’s not the traffic, it’s just myself waking up at like 1am .. after an epic dream and then go back to sleep 3am..*thinking shit is it time to get up?* .. oh still got three hours… then 5am.. same thing.. by the time my alarm goes off at 6:30am I am sooo tired.. i struggled majorly to get up. Luckily, today we were working from home the whole day!

However, on Monday we had to get to the Hospital for a 8am start. As I didn’t have a carpark permit yet, I parked in the visitors carpark… and made my way through to the front entrance of the hospital… when I went in there was a staff member asking if I was a patient, visitor, or a staff member and I said “Staff”.and she’s like where are you working?? And, for some reason, I felt like I was a fraud. Like I was faking being a staff member.. because I haven’t got my ID badge as of yet… anyways, eventually she pointed me towards the staff entrance, I was asked a few questions and the kind lady at the front asked me where i worked.. and I said, “actually I am not sure, it’s my first day 😂”. She was kind enough to direct me to the right way. I also forgot to mention, they had this infared (?) thermal scanning screen that allowed them and everyone else to see your temperature when you walked pass it.. interestingly, my temperature was quite low as usual..

Anyways, we put our bags away.. got a quick tour of the dispensary… and then went to get our ID badges taken. The security guards here did not take it with a normal camera. They used an existing security camera on the roof and told us to go against the wall (which I did not hear) and look up. I had no idea when he was taking the photo, but let’s just say they aren’t the best at taking photos. I think this is my WORST ID badge ever. LoL. I look sooo freaking ugly and chubby… 😆 coz I was wayyy too close to the camera.. As they wanted people to be socially distanced from one another while waiting to talk to security they had an X in the floor and I stood at the X instead if going back against the wall.. :(.

I am disappointed, but life goes on. The same caveat is, I finally got my parking permit.. which is added onto your swipe card. I am glad.. because for that two hour parking at the visitor’s carpark cost me $18..!!!😱😱😱… and also, apparently we will also get name tags!!!! I haven’t had one in agessssss.. since I worked in community pharmacy a longggg time ago.

Excited. Yes. Well anyways, after getting those horrible ID badges.. we were taken for a small tour of the hospital.. we were shown the staff tea break area…and how we have to sign in with a QR code for contact tracing purposes if a Covid breakout were to occur.. and then we also went next door to the childrens hospital and had a quick visit to the pharmacy there too. After that, we were to go home and continue our orientation online through an online general orientation.

And that folks is how I spent the last two days. I have to say, I am exhausted..and we haven’t even started work properly yet!! So, I will try enjoy it as much as I can!

Upon reflection, I think I had an interview here for a pharmacy placement once. I was so desperate as a student to get hospital experience , that I applied to do a four week placement (where you don’t get paid) in Melbourne and flew there to attend a face to face interview. The interview went fine, but unfortunately they said they would give first preference to students from Melbourne universities… fair enough.. I kinda knew, but wanted fo go anyways 😂. I remember at that time, I also stayed with the same aunt that I stayed with this time. It was meant to be. Maybe.

Impostor Syndrome

Impostor Syndrome is thinking that you aren’t qualified or good enough when in a position or when applying for one…but in fact you are. I guess it may tie in with having an inferiority complex…thinking others are always better than yourself.

I believe many working professionals are in the same boat as me…thinking and feeling that they have no idea what they are doing and are worried that someday someone will expose them for the fraud that they are.

No matter how many exams I have passed or feedback that I receive…I always feel like I am ‘Pretending to be a pharmacist‘. Pretending to know more than I do not. Our minds and our worries trick us to thinking that we are the only one who is feeling that way…but that is not true. Sure, some people may seem like they are naturally ‘born’ with talents and traits that may lead them to be good at something. But surely, they would have most likely had to work very hard to get there and perhaps they also feel like they are pretending as well.

Fake it till you make it. That’s what people advise you to do…but it’s hard you know..it’s scary pretending to be something you are not, but actually you are. I believe it’s particularly bad when you are about to start a new position that requires you to have prior experience and skills already…it makes you feel like your prior knowledge and experiences isn’t enough and indeed that is how I am feeling moving into my next position. I know it won’t be easy, but I know one thing is that I will work hard and do my best. Because, as someone once said, if it was easy, then everyone would be doing it.

 

 

On Job interviews

Job interviews can be so nerve-wracking and I wonder if they really do paint an accurate picture of whether or not we will be a good employee. Certain people seem to fare better in the talk themselves up department and others not so much. How do you know that the one who talks better in the interview will be a better match than the more shy interviewee who is actually much more hard-working and efficient employee?

Do you act yourself or must you force yourself to pretend to be someone else?

You literally have to give a great first impression from the start…When you first apply with your resume and cover letter, you’ve got to make sure that you demonstrate that you can construct legible sentences and structure things well.

After that, there may be an additional screening phone call or automated online interview, which you have to demonstrate you can cohesively construct something verbally well.

Then the next step if you make it as a live person interview with one or more panel members. In this case, you have to actively demonstrate your listening and quick thinking skills as you answer an array of various and sometimes random questions about yourself or a hypothetical scenario.

As this snapshot may not be sufficient enough for them, they will also contact your referees to make sure that you are not lying through your teeth about your most recent jobs and that you are indeed a good person to hire.

After you have passed all these hurdles you have to have police checks conducted on you, to make sure you ain’t a criminal or someone who has incurred many traffic accidents. If you are working in a hospital, they also need to test your blood to make sure your immunisations are all up to date.

Then you are finally hired! But you still have that six to twelve month probationary period where they can let you go at anytime. -.-;;

It’s such a pain moving from one job to another, but sometimes you have no choice…there just may be no room to grow for you in your current job. Life is tough, contracts finish, you may have bad management, bad colleagues… It is no surprise that as a millennial I have probably changed jobs more often than my dad has through his entire working life.

Priorities in Life

I think I have said it before, but there is a time and place for everything.

There is a time to save, a time to spend, a time to invest, a time to just work your ass off.

Everyone harps on about work-life balance, but what and who really determines what value you put on each area? Is there a perfect number? I think it is more a subjective thing and it will change through the seasons of your life.

I believe our priorities change as we grow…In high school, all I ever wanted to do was graduate and be done with school. Then in Uni, I just wanted so badly to pass my exams and to finish my course. I started working and then all I could think about is how much I missed my friends at uni and all the free time I used to have.

People my age are getting married, having kids, working and planning their life.

I suppose it comes down to our values to what we think is important and that occupies our time.

Do as I say but not as I do

You’ve heard that statement, practice what you preach.

But how many leaders actually follow their own advice?

I mean I understand nobody is perfect 100% of the time.

But, doesn’t it suck if you have a leader who likes to tell others what to do, except won’t follow their own advice?

It is like they are immune to the rules of the company.

Hypocritical describes it I suppose.

There are no perfect leaders, but some are better than others…who work harder than they need to.

And some who you don’t want to listen to what they say or do, like Mr Trump.

Last Day

Last days are so awkward.

There is a swirl of emotions.

Happiness. Sadness. Regret. Anxiety.

There are people that you may never see again.

There are some you want to say Good Riddance forever to

Then there are others that you want to hold onto to.

So many memories are made…both the good and the bad.

But, you appreciated the journey.

You learnt something new.

You grew a bit as a person and as an adult.

And you are one step closer to where you might want to go.

You’ll miss it, but you don’t know if you would go back given the chance.

But maybe you will have the opportunity one day.

Who knows?

Work Addicted

I just spent like almost an hour researching something for someone I don’t know in another town, which has nothing to do with me and this is after I have had dinner and am at home. I think I have a problem switching off work.

I work in a mental health hospital dispensary, yet I get phone calls from around South Australia from people asking for advice about psychotropic medications. I would just like to clarify I am not a medication expert hot line, there are people who are paid simply to answer these medication information questions.

Yes, I might know a bit more about antipsychotics and other psychotropic medications than some pharmacists, but I am by no way close to a specialist of any kind in mental health.

When asked a question I don’t know, I get obsessed with trying to finding the answer and unfortunately there isn’t an answer as it was with this case.

I’ve just come off from 3 days of being on-call and being asked all sorts of questions that put me outside my comfort zone and made me think on my feet… So I guess an email about a question relating to long-acting anti-psychotics didn’t seem too bad at first. But unfortunately, I am not paid to just answer people’s questions all day and hence, I did it at home…not good, but at least I learnt a ton lot about antipyschotics!! Too bad it’s my last week at this mental health hospital.

Sometimes I wonder why I try so hard…

*lifts up glass of milk*. Cheers to new chapters.

Thank you Siri

It is it just me that has been honed to have good mannerisms, even when no one is around?

I feel bad when I don’t thank Siri after telling them to “Set a timer for 5 minutes”. I instinctively say, “Thank you”…because I feel like if I don’t, they won’t do it for me anymore. But, Siri isn’t even human…?!?!

WEIRD…

I also notice, I say “Excuse me” whenever I let out a manly burp or a sneeze, but no one is around. Why am I like this?!

My theory is that because I am at work so often, with so many other people…I just have become like what I am.

Is it a subconscious act?!!?

Does technology have feelings? >.<

 

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Photo by Tyler Lastovich on Pexels.com

The end of a chapter and the start of the next

The cogs of change are changing again and life as I had known it for the last 9 months , funny how it started as a 4 week gig. When did it change? When did I stop caring, stop striving, and lost my focus?

I think I did bring it upon myself…too scared to let go of what is safe and what is familiar and immerse myself into the unknown. I am not sure if that is partly the reason why I find myself in this predicament. But then ironically, I prove myself right. It didn’t work out, but at least I have a some form of security in knowing that I have the second job while looking for something new.

It’s scary. Not knowing what my future will be like. But hey, this has been happening every few months before a contract ends. I still remember the terror and anxiety I felt when my first contract was almost ending…I was worried did I make a good impression? I’ve always worked hard and did my best to be nice to everyone. But I guess when you so hard and with no recognition, you start feeling under appreciated, tired, stressed, and burdened. Too scared to complain because you want to be chosen to stay there, yet everyday feels harder than the day before.

This good bye was inevitable. There are regrets, but there are also moments where I had a confidence that I did not have before and I am proud that this difficult situation developed that in me. Standing up for my rights and of others is something that I strive to do. I think it has something to do with respecting yourself and speaking up when something things off or wrong. Working in a mental health institution has always been a goal of mine and I have fulfilled that and believe this was be a stepping stone into something greater.

Apparently, with this company there will be an exit interview…this is not something I have done before, despite working in so many places previously. There is so many things I want to say, but I need to be careful of saying anything too bad,  because I need this people to be referees. There is never a way to win is there? Better to leave on good times than bad. I am both scared, yet also looking forward to a change of scenery. Bring on the last 3 weeks of full time work…

Stay Tuned for updates

The Breaking Point

I think we all have a limit.

A point where just one small thing can put you over the edge.

Something small that usually wouldn’t bother you.

But you have had enough.

I think you know it’s happening, even when you try to convince yourself everything is okay.

People think you are fine when you are barely holding yourself together.

You try to brush it away, pretend it is not real…BUT IT IS there and it eats away like you like an internal parasite.

The parasite is eating away at your and slowly it takes over your whole body.

Slowly you become an empty shell…Where you feel nothing, care about nothing, and do things you didn’t care about.

It’s a ticking timebomb and someday…you are gonna explode.

Then you will know.

It’s too late.

You’ve reached your breaking point.

Working from Home

Just a disclaimer, in my type of job I can’t work from home, unfortunately…however, I know plenty of friends who are having the opportunity to Work from Home (WFH). However, despite the huge perks of not having to wake up so early each day to “get ready for work” and the time saved on travel…I think there are some huge disadvantages to working at home too.

PROS:

-Can sleep in (This is worth 10 bonus points)
-Enjoy and finish a full cup of HOT coffee
-Don’t need to commute in heavy traffic to and back from work- saving money AND time
-Don’t need to put on your professional attire and face =Less laundry to wash each week
-Work in the comfort of your own home and your pjs
-Fewer distractions *…
-Lunch break whenever and however long
-Change of scenery
-Home is the best*
-The abundance of snacks, coffee, FOOD
-No need to deal with those annoying colleagues that you secretly hate
-PRIVACYYYYYYY
-Work at your own pace
-Great for introverts

*if you don’t have kids

Cons

-Tempted to keeps snoozing forever
-Tempted to not work and play with the phone all day and watch cute youtube videos of cats and dogs
-Probably eat too many snacks
-Boring Zoom meetings- I mean what if you need to go to the toilet?
-Technical difficulties
-Sucks if the internet went down or if your connection sucks
-The temptation to keep working past your normal hours
-More difficult if you live with other people in the house…i.e Kids, Parents, housemates…and I imagine the background noise may be distracting…
-Could get FOMO of those who AREN’T working and seem to be enjoying themselves
-Feeling isolated and lonely from lack of human contact..
-Lack of Morale or Zeal when working alone
-Parents or family members could walk in anytime during meetings or while you are in deep concentration
-Bad for extroverts

These are what I imagine would be the pros and cons of working at home :O I know, for one thing, I can’t even switch off after work lately…I go home and ruminate about what I forgot to do, write feedback for interns, checking stock availabilities, plan schedules for the other staff, answer emails, look up stuff at home…Not good 😦

Keen to hear your experiences… Are you working from home?