Stages of starting a new job

Night before first day: *Can’t sleep. Too excited/nervous/omfg. (Also can’t wait to start so you can start earning some $$ again )

First day. Wake up wayyyy tooo early. Sleep deprived. Wear a cake of make up and do your hair.. then you remembered you have to wear a mask.. and ruin face. Dress nicely in your freshly ironed clothes and clean polished shoes. Paid for expensive AF visitor parking for a short orientation. Get a mugshot of you taken as if you were a criminal on. your badge. Try to remember the names of all the people you met…then later realise u forgot to ask about how to use the staff carpark.

Week 2: You learnt from the first week that you don’t need to do makeup on your whole face. Just half will do. Clothes? They don’t need ironing right? They will become wrinkled anyways… you bond with the other newstarters.. only they seem to understand your pain and stress from being the “Noob” at work .;(.

Week 3: Let’s just do the eyebrows… everything else comes off anyways. They won’t notice if I wear the same thing twice in a week… right? At this stage you have made some friends, but also some enemies at work. Avoid those who hate in you and just remember it’s alright. You sort of know what you are doing.. kind of. You’ve made a bit of a routine at work. What snacks to get.. the free coffee and tomatoe soup. You got this :0

Week 4.. ? To be continued

Day -Zero

I just spent a whole entire day literally in my car.. my car is a mess 😦 I normally wouldn’t eat in my car.. but with all the restrictions in place, I really had no choice :(. It’s so dirty now…and carwashes and stuff are all closed as per the stage 4 lockdown :(.

I am exhausted.. but just wanted to write a quick post to let you guys know I’ve reached Melbourne after driving solo across from Adelaide. It was scary.. but it was also exciting and exhilarating experience as well. I wonder if I would enjoy it more with company…probably? Depending on who it is.

I saw a few cool things along my journey.. including SILO art and a giant Koala! I have added these photos to the post.. it made the trip more worthwhile.

This was my first roadtrip on my own…and I gotta say.. it’s quite sad seeing all the dead wildlife that are strewn across the roads :(. I counted at least 12 kangaroos and 1 possum that was dead. For some reason, some dead kangaroos had a red X marked on them :S. Something did jump out In front of me, not sure if it was a possum or a black cat.. but luckily I did not hit it.

Another thing that I noticed there was a lot of police presence on the the side of the road towards Adelaide. When I unknowingly reached the border between Adelaide and Melbourne, the other side of the road had a checkpoint set up to make sure everyone entering Adelaide had a permit. Good to know the borders are keeping the Adelaide people safe.

What people are surprised at is I didn’t get stopped at all by anyone at the borders. I didn’t need to worry about it at all! It was literally cross no questions asked.

I have some house inspections to do tomorrow and some paperwork to do for my new job. Hopefully all goes well and I don’t get in trouble for going out >.<

Silo art

2 days to go…

Been soooo busy these days.. doing lots of things.. but also feeling like I am not doing anything productive…

Been going out wayyyyy too much. I am not a very sociable person, so sometimes its a bit awkward…but I don’t regret it. It makes me feel sad that I am leaving behind all these wonderful people whom some I haven’t seen for months and months! It’s only because I am moving away that I am seeing them..

Packing… it has started and what started as one suitcase has turned into two suitcases, 2 crates, eight bags of clothes, and one more to come.. dont forget the badminton stuff… gym mat… laptop.. chargers.. last minute toiletries…hair dryer… contacts lens… pillow quilt.. soft toys.. snacks and drinks for the trip..I feel like I want to bring everything.. but my car is tiny.. ;(

So much to do.. but so little time 😦

The last week begins…

One week left in Adelaide.

Hmm. Times flies when you realise it is finite and not unlimited.

I had an adventurous week and I did a lot of things within then I normally would.

Caught up with old work colleagues, family, lots of badminton, gym…and even traveled to a few places I haven’t been before! I went to a small rural town about 2.5 hours drive away from Adelaide, called Port-Pirie. As I have a friend that is a pilot, we hired a small aircraft and flew there…I have never been in a small aircraft before and it was definitely a really exciting experience. I was so surprised that the landings and take offs were so much smoother and faster than I expected!

The view from up in the sky is amazing and despite having an awesome new phone camera, it doesn’t seem to do it justice. Somethings in life you just have to experience it first-hand yourself! We flew over the famous Pink Salt Lake, which kinda looked more brown than pink to me.. (It was my first time to see it)…

We had about 2.6 hours in the air…I even got to fly for a bit…While exciting at first..it is a bit more tiring than steering a car. Once we landed in Port-Pirie, we booked a cab to take us to town and we enjoyed some lunch at a place called Safavia . This is where we both tried something called a ‘Chicken Stack’…which is basically chicken with a quiche and some bacon stacked on top of it.

Post lunch we had a bit of a walk around town…there wasn’t a whole lot to do…but thee was a small museum, which looked deserted. We also walked passed a real estate sop and boy is it it a cheap!! You can get a 3 bedroom house with lots of land for well under 100,000k! To put that into perspective, a house of that size would easily be 6 or 7 times that amount in Metropolitan Adelaide.

We then walked around the railway and to a small jetty, took some photos…then it was time to head back to the aircraft in the cab.

I flew some more on the way back. It was a good experience.

Yesterday, I caught up with some old work mates in a place called Plant 4 Bowden- which as its name suggests, has many plants for sale…It also had many cool looking shops and little eateries. I wish I had discovered this little gem earlier! I have been living in Adelaide for so long, yet I have never been.

It’s funny how you only finally start to explore and enjoy somewhere when you know you are leaving.

 

Lasik failure :(

I was so worried about post surgery complications, I didn’t even consider that the procedure would be a failure…

Prior to the surgery, I was given the choice to take some sleeping tablets to help “relax me”.. and of course I took it.. I was nervous as hell.. but little did I know what would happen next.

I don’t know how often this happens, but I was all gowned up with the hairnet, shoe covers, and ready to get lasik. I had to go through numerous stinging eyedrops, face disinfected, text over my eyes…and then they propped openmy eyes with something so I couldn’t blink.. that was a bit painful. I had to stare at a green light above me that sort of suctioned onto my eye. It was uncomfortable, there was drilling sounds, I was scared shitless. I think I knew something was wrong because the machine kept coming off and back on to my eye…what felt like an eternity later (but was probably a minute later), the doctor aborted the surgery. He had made two incisions in the flaps of my eye to try lift them, but apparently couldn’t because the shape of me eyes were weird. But mate, aren’t you supposed to check that pre-surgery? At that time I was too drowsy to say anything and really remember much.. I was taken to a recovery area with a ned.. and given an icepack for my now inflammed rye.. they were talking about there being bubbles in my eyes. WTF.

The doctor pulled me back into his room and tried to explain what happened, but he used all this medical jargon (about eyes) which I didn’t understand and was too sleepy to ask about. Why do they do that? After drugging you up telling you all this important stuff? He took out the after lasik pack which had been shown to me by a optometrist assistant prior to going into the surgery. He chucked away the antibiotic eyedrops and said “You won’t need this”. But what if I do? You have made two cuts in my eye! I can see the blood lines there and it freaks me out.

I can’t remember the last time I felt so disappointed, dissatisfied , disgusted, depressed, and yet damn angry. I have been knocked out the rest of the day. All that damn anxiety and dread leading up to the surgery day…

They also made me pay upfront BEFORE i had the surgery. What scammers. In the end they apparently “refunded” it to me on my credit card.. but honestly I can’t see it there yet…I won’t let them get away with that one. 😤😤😤

Some of my friends have told me to sue them for medical negligence. Whilst it sounds like s annoying and long-winded expensive process… I wouldn’t want anyone else to go through what I did and who knows how long my eyes will take to recover? They didn’t even tell me if I can wear contacts again.. do I have to wear sunglasses everywhere? Am I not allowed to wash my hair with shampoo? Which is what their information sheets say, but they didn’t write one up for botched surgeries.

A mixture of guilt and sadness also lies within my mind. Why did I want so bad to not have glasses? I guess they might be the safest option now…

-Sad

How to be comfortable #forever alone

There are going to be times where you will be alone, whether driving to work, going on work vacations or if you don’t know anyone in a social situation…or even during Covid lockdowns. I think it is always useful to have something to do in case you have time to kill and don’t want to waste it.

1. Have a piece of technology with you at all times…most likely at least your phone…so you can use it to surf the internet, use social media, or write ideas for future blog posts…

2. Have a book to read…Whether a light novel, autobiography or whatever. It is perfectly acceptable to sit somewhere to read, you would less uncomfortable with a book than without. Can even read manga or ebooks from your phone like Webtoons! Or listen to books being read out loud on Audiobooks etc.

3. Have some good music to listen to. Emo music is great.

4. Get a pet. Dog, cat, fish, or turtle etc. Even plushie or bolster is fine. xD. Anything you can cuddle really….

5. Learn how to play an instrument..but don’t spend too much on your first instrument xD you can learn from Youtube videos.

6. Just learn to love yourself and to love the friends and family around you. You can do this with the help of Apps, self-health books, psychological services, or just spending time on yourself.

7. Maybe get a plant? But only if you can keep it alive, nothing is more depressing than a dead plant in the house :(.

8. Watch online streamers or even start streaming yourself! Maybe a good way to connect with other people or make new friends.

9. Get into the stock or share market!! Why not use all that spare time you have being single and grow your investment portfolio and become a bit more well off than you are now. Also look into your Super Fund and see if they are really growing your supperannuation for you or is it time to choose a different option for yourself.

10. Work out and get yourself the best body you can have! Go to the gym as much as you can, get fit, and get healthy..or play a sport, like badminton!! I guess this is good for making friends and socialising as such, if your area let’s you go back to indoor spoorts that is.

I am guessing the reality of these things I listed is because when you DO eventually get into a relationship, you most likely will have less time to yourself and to do what you want. Why not make the most of this single prime time and make it your time..

-#Foreveralone

I am big big girl in a big big world

There was this song that my sister and I liked when we were younger called “I am a big big girl in a big big world”...and that’s how I am feeling right now.

I am just staring at the word BIG and it looks so weird. lol.

I just got a call from the interstate job I had an interview and I got told that they would like to offer the position to me- as long as I pass my police clearance and working with children checks etc.. !!

Exciting news…It hasn’t even sunk in yet and I am already stressing about how I am going to move myself and all my shit down to Melbourne…

Speaking of Melbourne, it is currently the Covid-19 hotspot in Australia…it seems like we have a smaller but surely a second surge of cases in Melbourne. There are currently some areas in which there are higher numbers of Covid Cases in Melbourne that are under lockdown, while the rest are free to roam with restrictions.

Adelaide, however is back to normal ..almost. There are still some restrictions, but at least most things are open already.

There are so many things to think about in the move..where will I stay, how will I get there, should I bring my car? WHERE WILL I PLAY BADMINTON?!

But anyway, I will worry about that more tomorrow.

Priorities in Life

I think I have said it before, but there is a time and place for everything.

There is a time to save, a time to spend, a time to invest, a time to just work your ass off.

Everyone harps on about work-life balance, but what and who really determines what value you put on each area? Is there a perfect number? I think it is more a subjective thing and it will change through the seasons of your life.

I believe our priorities change as we grow…In high school, all I ever wanted to do was graduate and be done with school. Then in Uni, I just wanted so badly to pass my exams and to finish my course. I started working and then all I could think about is how much I missed my friends at uni and all the free time I used to have.

People my age are getting married, having kids, working and planning their life.

I suppose it comes down to our values to what we think is important and that occupies our time.

Quiet Before the Storm

After six months of working 6-7 days a week. Suddenly I am back to one day a week.

Scary. What should I do with all this spare time?

Of course I need to job hunt and keep doing interviews.

But, still so much time.

So I have a few things I am thinking to work on or do during this time.

  1. Being able to cook edible, easy, and semi-healthy meals for myself.
  2. Make sure I am up to date with my CPD (Continuing Professional Development) points for this year! We need to complete 40 CPD points as a year as a pharmacist.
  3. Aim to update daily with quality on this blog! This will include scheduled and unscheduled posts.
  4. Start doing recorded live interviews for my (almost forgotten) podcast! I have a few ideas of regular everyday people that I want to interview for my podcast.
  5. Work out 4 times a week and lose that post-covid 19 fat T_T!!
  6. Catch up with my nephew, sister, aunty, and uncle!
  7. Try to grow something. Flowers, cucumber, Carrot. Anything. Except mold. No Mold please.
  8. Think and plan my goals for the rest of the year and next year. I.e. financial goals, Shares goals, and etc.
  9. Finally have some time to clear out the junk in the kitchen, bathroom, and do I even want to touch the living room?!
  10. Get in some solid restful sleep.  CHILLAX. Destress and hopefully my resting heart rate will go back down to ~60  instead of the 72 it is now 😦

 

Here’s hoping that I will make the most of the time I have between now and my next job… 🙂

Being able to Eat out again

Don’t mean to brag or anything, but in South Australia, as I have mentioned before, things are almost back to normal. For the first time since forever, I dined in at an actual restaurant and had table service and all! The food was the best I have had this year, hands down. Maybe, it’s because all I have been having is takeaway and food court style foods…it’s the small things in life you didn’t know you will miss until it’s gone.

Shopping centres are open once again and it was filled to the brim with people. Sure, there was still reminders to social distance in the shops and on escalators. But it is hard to do when there is soo many people around. We still aren’t allowed to dine in at the food courts, so they have banned people from sitting on the tables and chairs, however there were groups of people sitting and eating on the floor….I think that’s even more unhygienic…but yeah.. lol… Who would imagined that Australians would be sitting on the floor of a food court eating?!?!

As there is still a limit to how many people can dine in at a restaurant, my friends and I put our name and number down at the restaurant we wanted to go to and walked around the shopping centre until they called us to say the table was ready.

Felt like a century ago since we were able to meet up, eat together, and shop together.

Super grateful.

Positive Points of the Pandemic

How are you guys? I hope you are doing well? Wherever in the world, you may be at the moment. I was really surprised after posting the previous post about things to do in the Pandemic at home…I had a 4000% increase in viewers of my website o.O!? And the majority of them were from America!! That’s amazing that this humble little blog from a small city in Australia has been visited by so many International guests from around the world. Anyways, I understand now is a time where it can be hard to remember to be grateful for the small things that we still have. I am not trying to say that I am glad this pandemic happened, but I want to point out the things we have learnt and the unusual positive consequences that have arisen from it. If I don’t laugh in the face of adversity, I will cry…so why not laugh?

 

  • I have never seen petrol prices so low as it is now!! In my 29 years of life,…I have neverrr seen it so low! the lowest I have seen it around is 80 cents per litre! That’s supppper cheap… The average cost is usually around $1.30 per litre for Unleaded 91 petrol.
  • I have saved money on petrol not only because it is cheap, but also due to the social distancing restrictions, I have literally nowhere to go after work -except back home! No more driving to badminton or to the gym…or to visit my sister..or shopping etc. So one tank of fuel lasts for a loonnnggg time. Due to people using less petrol for their cars and fewer flights, I guess that’s good for the environment…!
  • I have saved money because I can’t fly anywhere…so even though I have the travel bug, there is a reason why I shouldn’t/can’t fly at the moment. I am super grateful I was still able to go on my trip and come back safely from New Zealand before all the travel restrictions and quarantine rules kicked in Australia. Super super grateful!
  • I have a legit excuse to skip the gym after work … xD I am usually pretty hard on myself and force myself to go, whether I feel like it or not! But, now with the gym closed, I am forced instead to take walks during lunch or after work and enjoy nature. I am finding out all sorts of cute and quirky things in my neighbourhood.
  • As a pharmacist, I always felt like our profession was always undervalued,
    forgotten, and underutilised. Through this pandemic, there have been so many changes to the rules that have allowed pharmacists more authority than ever before to exercise their clinical expertise more than any other time before. It is also highly recognised that pharmacists who are administering influenza vaccines to the public are helping to decrease the burden on the already overflowing GP clinics. We have also been given the (temporarily) authority to change strengths and forms of prescription items so that supply can be given to the patient without prior approval by the GP. Emergency supplies of medication to people who can’t get into their GP have also been approved in certain circumstances.

 

  • Random Strangers have been more friendly and strike up conversations. I remember when I first heard of the toilet paper shortage, I went to the grocery store and bought two small packs. The random stranger next to me asked me why was everyone buying toilet paper… I said, “I don’t know, but I am just going to buy some in case!”.

 

  •  I have never appreciated the supermarket workers as much as I do now and also never felt appreciated as much as now…With their friendly smiles and small talk, it is pleasant to make small talk with them. In particular, the supermarket near my hospital has been giving away free soup to the hospital, police, and emergency workers. I later went to purchase some items after work and told the checkout assistant that I loved the free soup I got today and she said she was extremely grateful for the hard work that we do. I said, “I appreciate you guys immensely too!”. Because I do, without those workers going in every day to fill the stock, we would have no food to eat! In addition, today, I called Medicare to ask about concession and safety net entitlement cards for a patient and the man I spoke to said, “Stay Safe!” at the end of the conversation…I know these are small things and they are from people I don’t know, it just feels nice to know that people do care about each other. I know these are really small things, but they really do…

 

  • Being grateful for a normal life. After this pandemic, I will always remember how good it will be to meet friends, to go to the gym, to play badminton… to attend concerts, do exams, fly overseas…All of these things that I have taken for granted for so many years… I will be super grateful to be able to do all those things again! #grateful

 

  • EVERYTHING IS SOOOO CLEANNNNNN! I love it. We’ve never been as aware of cleanliness till now. Maybe it is just me, (as you can see in my post about being a germaphobe), but I am glad there is hand sanitiser everywhere and supermarkets having gloves for us to use! I like the idea of having personal space of 1.5 metres between everyone…coz even before I hate hearing people breathe loudly near me or get into my special personal space …xD … My dad is guilty of not washing his hands after going to the toilet, thanks to this pandemic I have stressed the importance of washing your hands for at least 20 seconds and using soup! If you haven’t already seen it, you should the video on how to handwash -the proper way by WHO.

 

  • I’ll put the video link here:

 

Stay safe and wash your hands (properly)!!

Things to do at home during a Pandemic

During this time where most of us are being encouraged to stay at home to ‘Flatten The Curve’ and to minimise the spread of Covid 19 by social distancing…it is easy to become bored. With all the chaos going around the streets…now is a great time to have a think of embarking on some home projects and rekindling some past hobbies…and this post highlights what I know people around me are doing.

It is not so bad for me because I am still working 6 days a week…so honestly life hasn’t changed much for me…except I don’t have any social activities or group exercise planned… 😦 I have been trying my best to go for a short walk around the hospital in my lunch break to get some sun and to get away from the workplace…I am quite lucky that I work in a job where I am constantly on the go and get enough steps in a day.

I miss talking and seeing my friends… so I messaged in my group chat and organised a virtual catch up with my university friends! While there was some people that ignored/forgot my invite to the conversation, I think it was quite successful getting about 6 of 9 people in a chat at once! Because we are all supposed to stay home anyways, they really do not have much excuse for not participating :P. As my sister and her family are also in self-isolation after their trip, I have been regularly video-calling them as well. I am not sure if we are allowed to visit them post isolation, unless to drop some food or supplies (which we have been doing). As most of my friends have FB messenger, that is what I’ve used to communicate with others…but I have heard Zoom is popular, Skype, or even Watsapp.

My mother an extroverted socialite and the self-imposed social isolation that she has undertaken has taken it’s toll on her and the rest of the family face the consequence of it…I keep telling her it’s still okay to get exercise and to go shopping (if you need it!!)…I think it makes you a bit crazy and forgetful when you stay at home all the time…it’s not healthy :(..I am lucky to be isolated with my family at home, but I know a few people at work who live on their own and it can be quite lonely not being able to visit friends or invite them over…unless you risk getting a fine from the police. To combat her boredom, my mum has been gardening almost all day and everyday. She’s planted new plants and flowers and have been taking care of them like her little children! She is also growing vegetables for our own consumption which is great! It might be worth learning to grow your own vegetable and fruits and further avoid the mass queues at supermarkets.

My brother has always been a socially distant person and rarely leaves his room to do anything except eat, shower and shit. So this pandemic hasn’t affected him at all. I guess if you are a gamer, this is your ideal life style?! Thanks to the internet you can entertain yourself with paid streaming websites like Netflix, Stan, etc…or for stingy people like myself, youtube is good enough XD.

My sister has been picking up her practice of lettering (or is it calligraphy) and water colouring again. Since you are going to be indoors all day, everyday day…,might as well make use of those art and craft things that you have, but rarely ‘find’ time to use and do. You can post your work on your facebook or instagram pages to show your work to others or ask for feedback. Isn’t it awesome that the internet keeps us together during this time?

Back to me again, asides from work…I try to minimise the amount of times I go to the grocery store, but if I do, I check in with my elderly aunty and uncle (who have been recommended by our Prime Minister to stay indoors and self-isolate for their own protection) to see what they may need. Helping others get their crucial supplies is a way to look after those in your community. When I do walks around my neighbour hood, I have been keeping my eye out for any elderly that I can ask to see if they need toilet paper/groceries…so far I haven’t seen many out (which is far enough-they are supposed to stay in). As I mentioned in my last post, now is the time to really strengthen that community spirit and look out for the more vulnerable people in our society. While I type this, I feel like I am some sort of politician or something…but anyways probably a sign that I’ve been watching the news too much (not good)!.

Lastly, I mentioned before, I have taken up playing the guitar again. For me, playing music allows me to focus on something else and allows me express a part of me that is only through music… even listening to good music is comforting and amazing. On sort of related side note, I just wanted to let you know, I treated myself to Apple Airpods! Since I can’t go to the gym and work outs (if I do them~!!) will be by myself at home…and walks/runs around neighbour hood. I thought it would be much better having wireless earphones! I love them! I have been using them to listen to videos for my studies and its great…kinda like listening to a podcast…Anyways, I promise I don’t work for Apple..I just really like them. The sound quality of music is great too… not that I know much about sound quality…. xD

I hope everyone stays sane during this challenging time!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s this pandemic has allowed me a bit more extra time to write more posts and update more frequently and do a little bit on my book…..

Enjoy your indoor time~

JL

 

Update: A New look & CoronaWorries

As you can see, I’ve been playing around with the blog a bit and even made a logo… I’ve paid for an actual website address! So you can now visit the site on www.howtoadultwithjoy.com  !! I hope to do more updates (now that most of outside work activities have been cancelled/postponed) and will and have been working on my book as well (More mentioned later)!

How is everyone doing with the Coronavirus? I’ve been touching base with family and friends all over the world and it seems that it has affected every single person I have spoken to so far…From Japan to Canada, and to Calfornia… The virus has spread all over the world…It is very much here in Australia as well, the number of new cases is rising steadily and in response, our governments have put in tough new measures to curb the virus. As mentioned last time, the social distancing continues to apply and just yesterday night the Prime Minister announced that all pubs, clubs, entertainment venues, gyms, indoor sporting places, and churches will be closed from midday today. This means basically I have no social life…because the only other thing I do besides work and study is exercise at the gym or play badminton. However, I have decided to use the time that I usually spend on exercise to do other things at home…such as working on my blog, planning my future book, and I have started playing the guitar again!! Having experienced ONE OK ROCK live in a concert…I am so motivated to learn and play their songs! It had been over a year since I played the guitar last…and at that time I really wanted to do a cover of the song ‘Yellow’ the Chinese version featured the movie ‘Crazy Rich Asians’.

I hope for everyone else that is in self-isolation (like my sister and her family who have just come home from Japan), will be able to work on those hobbies and things that they have put aside for so long! May you also learn some new skills! I have friends that are doing virtual gym classes online in their rooms and they said they had a good work out! There are many things we can learn and continue to do even at home. I guess now is a good time to be an introvert. :).

I’ve always thought I was an introvert that doesn’t like meeting up with other people and going out…but since these rules have been put into place, I have finally realised how much I miss going out and doing the things I am used to. May we take some time to reflect on where we are and what we hope to learn from this challenging time. I hope everyone can remember to keep in touch with each other and check up on your elderly/vulnerable friends and see if you can help them in any way. We are social distancing and that does not mean being socially isolated!

My thoughts go out to those who have lost their jobs or don’t have work for the next few months…I hope that you will be able to find another job and have adequate support over the next few months. I know my government is increasing the handouts for those who are doing it tough…and have decreased the requirements that are needed to qualify for those programs.

Also, on a side note, thank you for the 50 subscribers and having over 3000 visitors to this website! Thank you so much for visiting, reading, and being a part of this journey to adulthood.

I hope everyone stays safe, coughs into their elbows, and don’t go to work when you are sick!

 

Joy

A reflection on Adulting

Adulting is..

Holding back when you know you are right..but want to avoid unnecessary confrontation and conflict with difficult people.

Paying bills and learning how to save money for the future…by collecting points…buying shares..investments…salary sacrifice…caring about your superannuation.

Enduring difficult circumstances, because you need the experience, money, and know it’s temporary.

Learning how to eat right and not just eat what you feel like (i.e. Maccas every day).

Making exercise a priority and not just an option for when you are free.

Working hard when no one is looking because it aligns with your own values and no one forced you to.

Writing emails in a professional manner, because you need to sound like an ‘adult’

Throwing away those young hipster clothes…coz you gotta look professional now..

Encouraging others, even when you so deeply crave encouragement yourself.

Making time for those important to you, when you barely even have time to sleep or look after yourself.

Enjoying the simple pleasures in life…

Finding that doing chores is therapeutic… like cleaning the room…folding laundry…washing clothes..ironing them wrinkles…washing those dirty plates and making them clean.

Realise you need to take breaks, spend money, go on holidays, do NOTHING sometimes.

Realising you are still the same kid you were..but you gotta pretend you are an adult and also realising you parents are just kids that are older than you.

Finding out you can’t have it all at the same time. But that things come in seasons, periods, and there is a time for everything.

Finally understanding that adulting doesn’t meaning ending up where your parents are and doing what they did.

Grief

Somebody once said something along the lines of, “It is better to have loved and lost, rather have never loved”. I believe strongly in this statement, as we would never have realised how much someone or something meant to us until it is gone. This post will examine a few different aspects of the subject of grief.

I still remember the first time I experienced grief and loss. I was in the week before my final exams in my last year of high school and I was just about to attend a maths tutorial class when I got the phone call. My mother had found my dog, ‘Coffee’ lying on the ground and vomiting in the morning. They rushed to take him to the emergency vet and hopefully they would be able to save him. A few hours later, after the class had finished, I received a text message…Coffee had to be put down, the snail poison he had accidentally ingested had gone throughout his whole body, and there was nothing they could do about it. I took the bus home, and while walking towards my home…the reality became clearer and clearer…he was gone…he really was gone… There would be no one waiting for me when I get home…no one to accompany me on my walks around the neighbourhood…no one to hug and talk to. As I walked into the backyard where his body lay in a box, I broke down in tears and overwhelming sadness washed over me. I didn’t know what true grief was until that day…so many feelings washed over me…Regret. Why hadn’t I gone with them to the vet? I could have caught a taxi…who cares about how much it costs? Money cannot turn back time. Why did I care so much about attending some stupid course that probably won’t be beneficial at all…especially since all I could think of was of Coffee during that time. I questioned myself, did I ever get to say ” I love you” to my dog and appreciate him for all he did for me? All the times we spent together…my first-ever best-friend.

In saying that, after the passing of my beloved dog, who had been part of my family for over a decade of my life…I did fall into some sort of depression, (not that I knew what that was back then)…I did not feel like studying, could not concentrate on whatever I did, and I would tear up when the feelings of grief became so strong that it overwhelmed me. Even now, writing this blog makes me relive those feelings of sadness to me. Grief makes you afraid to love again, because the fear of losing a loved one again is one that is hard to forget, no matter how hard you try.

Grief is a powerful and overwhelming feeling, it is not pleasant, but it is somehow necessary to teach us to appreciate what we have. It is an inevitable part of life, unfortunately. However, prolonged grief can, unfortunately, lead to mental illnesses like depression.

 

 

Can you remember the first time you felt grief?