Day 1 – House inspection

Woke up groggy and tired, but I had some things to do. Firstly I had to go to the post office to apply for my Working with Children’s Check and to get my mugshot taken for the card…plus pay an expensive fee..but apparently, it lasts for 5 years and is tax-deductible. Luckily the post office was not too far away, I saw 4 pharmacies along the way…and restaurants…etc.. Everything will become a ghost town after midnight tomorrow…all non-essential retail shops will not be allowed to be open… 😦

After that, it was off to my first inspection! It was horrible. Absolutely..disgusting. Walking into the property you have to go through a side door, pass an old damaged building…you get barked at by 2 dogs…then you see a kind of shack-like building..it’s not that tall…you have a small kitchen…a place for a bed…and a small area for a living room… yup.. That’s it..it looked much better in all the photos.. so much smaller in real life. I nervously looked around, took a few photos, and then thanked the real estate agent for her time. She could see on my face I did not like the place and didn’t even try to convince me to apply for it.

I couldn’t get out of there fast enough..felt a bit scared when the gate wouldn’t open… I would be freaked out going home at night…makes me feel vulnerable and insecure. no thanks. Next…It was a more expensive room..but which seemed much more secure.

I went in through a sliding door..Into the front of the property..each room had their own mail box. That’s good… The real estate agent opened the front door with a key…looks pretty clean to me. We went to the unit 1 which was on the left…He struggled to open with the door with the many keys… I walked in..Looked like the pictures…but maybe a bit smaller than I remembered? But that’s okay…it had a really nice panty which pulled out with some racks. coz..But a bit small. The other thing I didn’t like about the place that the bathroom in the toilet had some stains from a leaky tap. It just made the place a bit worse than I liked… That’s my only small gripe, nothing major.

The agent said, we have another room upstairs if you want to see? It’s just become available. I said, yes I would love to see it. This room, had a dream catcher still hanging near the door… it felt …larger..bigger..better. and best of all the sink basin was clean…and the toilet was more spacious. I liked it. I asked the agent “How much? Is it the same cost?”…He said he didn’t know and that I would have to ask the other agent in charge of the property, but said “likely to be more expensive because it’s bigger”.  This was pretty much fully furnished… there is a communal laundry with a washing machine and dryer in a separate room outside… It was to be shared with everyone. That’s okay..I don’t mind. With this place..Wifi and electricity aren’t included in the rent, unfortunately…

I felt pretty good about the room. BUT since I was in that area, I might as well check out this other place I had wanted to inspect initially.

The owner was pretty flexible and I met him up at the place about half an hour later…What I noticed first was that there was no gate at the front and no undercover parking…There is this disability ramp that goes up into the house…there were also stickers around the place in both English and Chinese…one said…”Smoking area here”..I don’t like smoke…and I have asthma…sooo that sort of put me off a bit. He opened the front door…and showed me a room towards the back…tiny..small..like a hotel room..not bad in any particular way…but yeah…no sink to wash your hands or be able to stare yourself in the mirror…the only mirror is right behind the toilet. No thanks :(. I went to see the communal laundry as well…It was in an old shed…we have to pay to use the machine.. fair enough… hmm all bills included…tempting…But it just felt somewhat too temporary and not for long-term use… =s

2 days to go…

Been soooo busy these days.. doing lots of things.. but also feeling like I am not doing anything productive…

Been going out wayyyyy too much. I am not a very sociable person, so sometimes its a bit awkward…but I don’t regret it. It makes me feel sad that I am leaving behind all these wonderful people whom some I haven’t seen for months and months! It’s only because I am moving away that I am seeing them..

Packing… it has started and what started as one suitcase has turned into two suitcases, 2 crates, eight bags of clothes, and one more to come.. dont forget the badminton stuff… gym mat… laptop.. chargers.. last minute toiletries…hair dryer… contacts lens… pillow quilt.. soft toys.. snacks and drinks for the trip..I feel like I want to bring everything.. but my car is tiny.. ;(

So much to do.. but so little time 😦

Why I hate glasses

Exercising with glasses is a shit house. Glasses falls off, fogs up, and vision is blurry.

That’s what I told myself anyways…That’s why I wore contacts everyday,no matter where or what I was doing. I just feel self conscious, ugly, and not myself. When I feel contacts, I just feel so much more confident in myself that I don’t need to keep pushing up those stupid glasses that don’t ever seem to fit on my face. I just hate all the photos with me on glasses.. you can’t even see my eyes!!

That’s until I went for an appointment to see if I was eligible for Lasik surgery last week. He told me that my cornea was quite thin! The layer on top of the eye…I wonder if this is from my overuse of contact lenses 😦 Apparently you should only use it for 8 hours maximum a day, but I know for sure I wear them for 12-14 hours a day… eek..

 

How to be comfortable #forever alone

There are going to be times where you will be alone, whether driving to work, going on work vacations or if you don’t know anyone in a social situation…or even during Covid lockdowns. I think it is always useful to have something to do in case you have time to kill and don’t want to waste it.

1. Have a piece of technology with you at all times…most likely at least your phone…so you can use it to surf the internet, use social media, or write ideas for future blog posts…

2. Have a book to read…Whether a light novel, autobiography or whatever. It is perfectly acceptable to sit somewhere to read, you would less uncomfortable with a book than without. Can even read manga or ebooks from your phone like Webtoons! Or listen to books being read out loud on Audiobooks etc.

3. Have some good music to listen to. Emo music is great.

4. Get a pet. Dog, cat, fish, or turtle etc. Even plushie or bolster is fine. xD. Anything you can cuddle really….

5. Learn how to play an instrument..but don’t spend too much on your first instrument xD you can learn from Youtube videos.

6. Just learn to love yourself and to love the friends and family around you. You can do this with the help of Apps, self-health books, psychological services, or just spending time on yourself.

7. Maybe get a plant? But only if you can keep it alive, nothing is more depressing than a dead plant in the house :(.

8. Watch online streamers or even start streaming yourself! Maybe a good way to connect with other people or make new friends.

9. Get into the stock or share market!! Why not use all that spare time you have being single and grow your investment portfolio and become a bit more well off than you are now. Also look into your Super Fund and see if they are really growing your supperannuation for you or is it time to choose a different option for yourself.

10. Work out and get yourself the best body you can have! Go to the gym as much as you can, get fit, and get healthy..or play a sport, like badminton!! I guess this is good for making friends and socialising as such, if your area let’s you go back to indoor spoorts that is.

I am guessing the reality of these things I listed is because when you DO eventually get into a relationship, you most likely will have less time to yourself and to do what you want. Why not make the most of this single prime time and make it your time..

-#Foreveralone

Impostor Syndrome

Impostor Syndrome is thinking that you aren’t qualified or good enough when in a position or when applying for one…but in fact you are. I guess it may tie in with having an inferiority complex…thinking others are always better than yourself.

I believe many working professionals are in the same boat as me…thinking and feeling that they have no idea what they are doing and are worried that someday someone will expose them for the fraud that they are.

No matter how many exams I have passed or feedback that I receive…I always feel like I am ‘Pretending to be a pharmacist‘. Pretending to know more than I do not. Our minds and our worries trick us to thinking that we are the only one who is feeling that way…but that is not true. Sure, some people may seem like they are naturally ‘born’ with talents and traits that may lead them to be good at something. But surely, they would have most likely had to work very hard to get there and perhaps they also feel like they are pretending as well.

Fake it till you make it. That’s what people advise you to do…but it’s hard you know..it’s scary pretending to be something you are not, but actually you are. I believe it’s particularly bad when you are about to start a new position that requires you to have prior experience and skills already…it makes you feel like your prior knowledge and experiences isn’t enough and indeed that is how I am feeling moving into my next position. I know it won’t be easy, but I know one thing is that I will work hard and do my best. Because, as someone once said, if it was easy, then everyone would be doing it.

 

 

I am big big girl in a big big world

There was this song that my sister and I liked when we were younger called “I am a big big girl in a big big world”...and that’s how I am feeling right now.

I am just staring at the word BIG and it looks so weird. lol.

I just got a call from the interstate job I had an interview and I got told that they would like to offer the position to me- as long as I pass my police clearance and working with children checks etc.. !!

Exciting news…It hasn’t even sunk in yet and I am already stressing about how I am going to move myself and all my shit down to Melbourne…

Speaking of Melbourne, it is currently the Covid-19 hotspot in Australia…it seems like we have a smaller but surely a second surge of cases in Melbourne. There are currently some areas in which there are higher numbers of Covid Cases in Melbourne that are under lockdown, while the rest are free to roam with restrictions.

Adelaide, however is back to normal ..almost. There are still some restrictions, but at least most things are open already.

There are so many things to think about in the move..where will I stay, how will I get there, should I bring my car? WHERE WILL I PLAY BADMINTON?!

But anyway, I will worry about that more tomorrow.

On Job interviews

Job interviews can be so nerve-wracking and I wonder if they really do paint an accurate picture of whether or not we will be a good employee. Certain people seem to fare better in the talk themselves up department and others not so much. How do you know that the one who talks better in the interview will be a better match than the more shy interviewee who is actually much more hard-working and efficient employee?

Do you act yourself or must you force yourself to pretend to be someone else?

You literally have to give a great first impression from the start…When you first apply with your resume and cover letter, you’ve got to make sure that you demonstrate that you can construct legible sentences and structure things well.

After that, there may be an additional screening phone call or automated online interview, which you have to demonstrate you can cohesively construct something verbally well.

Then the next step if you make it as a live person interview with one or more panel members. In this case, you have to actively demonstrate your listening and quick thinking skills as you answer an array of various and sometimes random questions about yourself or a hypothetical scenario.

As this snapshot may not be sufficient enough for them, they will also contact your referees to make sure that you are not lying through your teeth about your most recent jobs and that you are indeed a good person to hire.

After you have passed all these hurdles you have to have police checks conducted on you, to make sure you ain’t a criminal or someone who has incurred many traffic accidents. If you are working in a hospital, they also need to test your blood to make sure your immunisations are all up to date.

Then you are finally hired! But you still have that six to twelve month probationary period where they can let you go at anytime. -.-;;

It’s such a pain moving from one job to another, but sometimes you have no choice…there just may be no room to grow for you in your current job. Life is tough, contracts finish, you may have bad management, bad colleagues… It is no surprise that as a millennial I have probably changed jobs more often than my dad has through his entire working life.

You gotta sometimes Cheer yourself on

 

When the going gets tough and there doesn’t feel like there is anyone in the same boat as you…Sometimes you have to be your own cheerleader.

Maybe it has something to do with positive thinking and mindset, may be it has something to do with loving yourself.

You can do this and you can say I believe in me.

Doing online Interviews

Had my first automated online interview about two weeks ago.. it was bizarre. I had to pretend it was like a proper job interview…make up, hair, clothes…and I had to find a place that I would be uninterrupted in my house and answer some difficult questions. I set up my laptop on the desk on top of a few text books so that it would become almost eye level.

It was pretty strange…there was a few practice questions that you could practice with and I spent a good half an hour doing them again and again..because you are able to review the video and every time I listened to myself I was like damn why did I do that?

Luckily for the real thing, there was no chance to do it again and again…otherwise I would be there ALLLL day. There was a chance to view the video recordings of yourself at the end…of course I did not choose to watch myself. Too cringe worthy.

But anyways, I found out that I have somehow made it to the second stage with a live video interview next week..that will be another first.

How does one shake hands across the net? Do you just wave? Or do you still do that awkward elbow greeting?

Wish me luck! I will update on that experience next week…

The Breaking Point

I think we all have a limit.

A point where just one small thing can put you over the edge.

Something small that usually wouldn’t bother you.

But you have had enough.

I think you know it’s happening, even when you try to convince yourself everything is okay.

People think you are fine when you are barely holding yourself together.

You try to brush it away, pretend it is not real…BUT IT IS there and it eats away like you like an internal parasite.

The parasite is eating away at your and slowly it takes over your whole body.

Slowly you become an empty shell…Where you feel nothing, care about nothing, and do things you didn’t care about.

It’s a ticking timebomb and someday…you are gonna explode.

Then you will know.

It’s too late.

You’ve reached your breaking point.

Expectations Vs Reality

Have you ever ordered one of those “Meal Prep Ready Kits? i.e HelloFresh etc?”, they contain all the ingredients and instructions to make the beautiful dishes that are pictured on the front of their brochures? You get super excited because you are going to end up with that awesome looking meal for dinner. Get that feeling? NO?  Well, anyway let me explain, how many times has it turned out like how you expected? The carrots you received became soggy in the fridge, your knives weren’t sharp enough to cut the vegetables up nicely like they did, you old stove cooktop doesn’t have accurate temperature settings, so your beef is a bit burnt. Your egg didn’t turn out that beautiful sunny way that you imagined it would be. You plate it up and take a photo of it for the sake of showing everyone the effort that you TRIED to make it like the picture. You write #Nailedit when you mean FAILED IT.

It not only looks shit, but it tastes shit too :(. Our great expectations can sometimes lead to great dissapointments as well. We hype ourselves up, this is the moment, this is the job we always wanted, this is the relationship that we always wanted… We all have this fake, unrealistic expectations that this is what you wanted…maybe…maybe just in your head. Perhaps some people are born more as dreamers than others. We don’t settle for what we have, we aren’t comfortable where we are…we always want…whatever is on the other side. Because the grass is always greener on the other side?  Isn’t it?  It really might be! Or it could end up being fake artificial grass. LOL.

 

What is the point of this post? I just wanted to say, there are so many expectations that I have had of myself…I turned the big 3-0 this year and it still amazes me that I still feel like the same kid that I was 12 years ago when I first finished high school. I had no idea what I would be doing, but I thought that by 30 I would be married, kids, stable job, house, dog, moved out… But, hey I am turning 30 in about 6 months and I certainly have none of that… Still single, have a pet turtle, still living with parents, on a contract job, STILL studying. But that is not what I am focussing on, I don’t want to be all negative and pessimistic. I think it’s okay to have expectations. Because I guess it gives you hope that things will change. I might be better off in 10 years than I imagined in my head and do you know what? I have realised some of those things, I don’t think I even necessarily want! It’s just that the people and environment have bred me to believe that’s what it takes to become an adult and to be seen as an adult by others.

Marriage? Maybe. Kids? Probably not. House? Yes, if I can still travel too…the loan is like a chain to my geet though :(. Dog? Yes, but I MIGHT even settle for just a cat, stable career? That’s a bit boring… I get bored in one job for too long :(.

Maybe our mindset changes, maybe we as people are just changing. Whatever it is, I am just saying it’s okay to not be where you thought you would be. Because you wouldn’t be where you are now if you didn’t walk the path you took.  Wow look at me trying to be philosophical and shit, but anyway, that’s my random rant for this week.

 

Thank you and Stay safe!

 

 

A reflection on Adulting

Adulting is..

Holding back when you know you are right..but want to avoid unnecessary confrontation and conflict with difficult people.

Paying bills and learning how to save money for the future…by collecting points…buying shares..investments…salary sacrifice…caring about your superannuation.

Enduring difficult circumstances, because you need the experience, money, and know it’s temporary.

Learning how to eat right and not just eat what you feel like (i.e. Maccas every day).

Making exercise a priority and not just an option for when you are free.

Working hard when no one is looking because it aligns with your own values and no one forced you to.

Writing emails in a professional manner, because you need to sound like an ‘adult’

Throwing away those young hipster clothes…coz you gotta look professional now..

Encouraging others, even when you so deeply crave encouragement yourself.

Making time for those important to you, when you barely even have time to sleep or look after yourself.

Enjoying the simple pleasures in life…

Finding that doing chores is therapeutic… like cleaning the room…folding laundry…washing clothes..ironing them wrinkles…washing those dirty plates and making them clean.

Realise you need to take breaks, spend money, go on holidays, do NOTHING sometimes.

Realising you are still the same kid you were..but you gotta pretend you are an adult and also realising you parents are just kids that are older than you.

Finding out you can’t have it all at the same time. But that things come in seasons, periods, and there is a time for everything.

Finally understanding that adulting doesn’t meaning ending up where your parents are and doing what they did.

Travel is like medicine for the soul

While I was studying at University, I would always go overseas each year in the Uni holidays, without fail. It was the event that I most looked forward to at the end of the year. It was the sweet reward for my hard efforts that I put in through the year…Working hard to pass my subjects and then working hard after class in my part-time job to save up for my precious holidays. To me, travelling was medicine for the soul. Unfortunately, since I have started working full-time, it has been incredibly difficult for me to go on holidays because this is subject to being able to take leave, and if you have enough annual leave left.

There are many benefits to travelling, this includes benefits to one’s health. It can decrease stress and also be good for the clearing of the mind and allow you to relax. It also has many physical health benefits, because it will force you to get moving around and doing different activities that you normally would not do. It is good for your mind to because you get to become familiar with a new culture and the customs of a society that is different from your own. You get to meet new people, taste exotic foods, and see beautiful things that are greater than anything you have ever imagined. I firmly believe that those who travel have more stories to tell and are more interesting people to talk to and spend time with. Travel can teach us an invaluable lesson in life, teaching you to appreciate what you have, or encouraging you to try harder to achieve what other cities have. Basically, you are going to ‘A Whole New World’. Pun intended.

In saying that, there are a few things that travel is unfortunately not good for. Travel costs money. Usually. A LOT of it. You need to buy flight tickets, accommodation, transport, food, travel insurance, and so forth. It is not a cheap activity, especially if you are struggling to survive day by day, how can you afford to travel? Or if you are trying to save up for a house or something else…it just sometimes doesn’t seem necessary. It can be risky too, especially if you are going to third world countries where you may contract an infectious disease. You could also be at higher risk of being mugged, or a target of scammers because you are a foreigner. For some, who have a fear of flying, water, or motion sickness in general, travel could cause more headache than it is worth. It is also a time-consuming activity, which generally requires lots of planning…and if you factor the time you spend ‘travelling’ it could be days of precious annual leave that is being used up, in which you could be ‘Chilling at home’.

Travel has a multitude of benefits for one’s mental and physical health and allows us to become more culturally informed. However, it is not a luxury that everyone can afford and it also comes with some risks and dangers. However, for me, travel is a medicine for my soul and the longer I don’t travel, the less alive I feel. Even if it is a temporary medication that drowns my sorrows, only for a moment, it is worth it.

—-

Can’t believe it is 2020.. This year i am going to be posting short like essays like this, which I use as a preparation activity for my exams 😀 …

2020

2020 is a big year. I can feel it already. The year I leave my 20s and enter the scary 30s. !!

It’s a year I want to knock off some things off my bucket list.

One of them being going to New Zealand. Always had planned to go…but because it seemed so close to home, it doesn’t feel like I am leaving the country. I am happy to say I have booked my flights to New Zealand and will be going on the 19th to 24th of March! Super excited…but also feeling a bit stressed…I haven’t found accommodation yet! I think when I finally get a place to stay I will feel more relieved… It’s hard to plan transport, tours, and etc without knowing where you will stay :(. I guess you can call me a homeless person while I am in NZ.

I have also managed to get VIP tickets to meet on of my favourite Jrock bands, ONE OK ROCK. SUPER excited. I have always wanted to see them live…When I was in Japan for exchange back in 2014, I wanted to see them in Japan….however they were touring in the US at that time..so I missed that opportunity. BUT they are coming to my hometown!!!!! So excited. I would have flown interstate to see them…but now no need…so might aswell splurge on VIP tickets which include a meet and greet <3, early entry, a special lanyard, and a wrist band. But most importantly, is that I get to meet them…and hopefully get a photo if I am lucky! None of my friends that are going got the VIP tickets…so hopefully I can make a friend there or find someone kind enough to help me take a photo.  I guess this would be a new addition to my bucket list.

Assuming all goes well in the jobs department, i.e. getting an extension of my current work contract or getting a new job within SA Health, I hope I can save up enough for a house/unit deposit. I am aiming for about 60-80k, which will be about the minimum 20% deposit I need for a house. Gotta keep working hard!

I have applied for the JET program..so this may affect my income levels aswell. But, no fear..doesn’t mean I can’t still be working overseas and saving for my house deposit. I haven’t heard anything back from them yet, so who knows if I will even pass the written part of the application? But at least I tried, right?

To be honest, I am not sure what else is on my latest bucket list…I think the same things that always matter will be there or not…stay fit and healthy… be present with family and enjoy time with my nephew …and be an awesome friend….travel more…finish my study…and get lots more experience in my career and keep working hard for long term goals…Oh yeah keep writing more in this blog..and other stuff which I have much neglected…

Do you have any goals or aims for 2020?

Random Rants: Are you happy right now?

When you earn more money, do you get more stingy? Or do you become more generous?

I find that the more I earn…the more I spend…but at the same time, I also try to be careful with my money. It’s a ‘balancing act’…Earn more..can spend more…thus not saving more.

It’s a conundrum. It’s great you are earning more…but you also pay more tax…and then you end up with less than you initially imagined.

The ability to earn more…means you can afford to go on holidays in which you couldn’t before…do you take the time off and go on a holiday? Or do you keep saving and saving until one day..you can’t work anymore?

Such is life…I guess you have to choose whether you are happy, satisfied with how much you have.

You could be poor and happy. You could be rich but sad.

So many decisions to make…Do you take the risk to do a job that offers you one-two month contracts at a time, with no guarantee of ongoing work? Or do you instead continue part-time work …that also doesn’t offer you any more hours? But it is permanent. Or do you remain casual, which is flexible…but where you get pushed around by the big guys up there…When it’s busy they overwork you, when it’s quiet they don’t care about you and you get no shifts. The instability of life. Choices.

Such is life.