Not all heroes wear capes..some are Masks

I have spent the last few days continuing to pack a little by little… some sports tops, some socks, some undergarments…and yeah the rest I might still have to use…

One thing my relatives in Melbourne have been harping on about is FACE MASKS!!!! It is now mandatory for everyone in Melbourne to wear a facemask when they go out. So, of course, there is a mask shortage in Melbourne now… Workers in hospitals, I believe also need to wear facemasks when talking to patients.

The power of facemasks to prevent community transmission of Covid-19 has been proven and effective. This small piece of cloth is able to lessen the possibility of the spread of the virus. Who knew that the humble facemask would be so widely used outside the hospital.

My mother for some reason had bought a whole of reusable cloth masks from China to use when my parents are delivering papers…who knew they would become so useful now! Wearing the resuable mask is a lot more comfortable than the surgical masks, however, whether or not they work as well is pretty questionable…

Having multiple job Interviews and offers

Whenever I am looking for a job, I don’t just apply for one job, I go far and wide… in the hopes of getting something and hopefully getting to choose. I mean you sort of don’t want to put all your eggs in one basket and hope for the best…We are humans 😦 We have to work for money when we are young so we can retire young and with enough income, (more on that in another post).

So what happens when you get multiple offers of interviews and during your job search you get offered a position? Depending on the company, some give you plenty of time to think about accepting, while some need the answer ASAP, because they need someone to work NOW.

I don’t think there is ever a right or wrong answer to this question. Sometimes, the job that you got an offer for would make you so depressed and sad…so much that you regret not considering the other options that were on offer… However, we have to factor in different aspects, is it contract? Full-time or part-time? Casual? What are my future career prospects? You can’t figure all that out from a job interview…you have to experience and get into the job, learn the ropes, and know the people to make that decision.

Like I said yesterday, high risk means higher returns right?

I had to reject a job interview today, but I thought about it long and hard before writing the rejection email. Would I have gone for the interview if I hadn’t already had a job offer? Absolutely. But, I have accepted an offer, and I don’t want to be the one to back out now. Fingers crossed there will be no regrets later. I personally wont do well in an interview for a job I don’t really want at the time..I feel like it would be so half-hearted…and I am not giving it my all.

I am so excited, yet so terrified! The borders between Melbourne and Sydney are closing at midnight tonight…if I go to Melbourne, I don’t know when I can come back to Adelaide. Apparently, Adelaide may close the border between us and Melbourne completely soon too…It means no one can go in or out with a very good reason (i.e. emergency…). It feels like I am stepping into a warzone, just a bit. Melbourne recorded its record number of new cases today.. Almost 200..The place is still in lockdown…so eeps.

I asked for an interesting life and I got it. I will keep updating this blog through my transition to the Covid-Central of Australia, lol. Stay tuned.

Impostor Syndrome

Impostor Syndrome is thinking that you aren’t qualified or good enough when in a position or when applying for one…but in fact you are. I guess it may tie in with having an inferiority complex…thinking others are always better than yourself.

I believe many working professionals are in the same boat as me…thinking and feeling that they have no idea what they are doing and are worried that someday someone will expose them for the fraud that they are.

No matter how many exams I have passed or feedback that I receive…I always feel like I am ‘Pretending to be a pharmacist‘. Pretending to know more than I do not. Our minds and our worries trick us to thinking that we are the only one who is feeling that way…but that is not true. Sure, some people may seem like they are naturally ‘born’ with talents and traits that may lead them to be good at something. But surely, they would have most likely had to work very hard to get there and perhaps they also feel like they are pretending as well.

Fake it till you make it. That’s what people advise you to do…but it’s hard you know..it’s scary pretending to be something you are not, but actually you are. I believe it’s particularly bad when you are about to start a new position that requires you to have prior experience and skills already…it makes you feel like your prior knowledge and experiences isn’t enough and indeed that is how I am feeling moving into my next position. I know it won’t be easy, but I know one thing is that I will work hard and do my best. Because, as someone once said, if it was easy, then everyone would be doing it.

 

 

On Masculinity

Do all girls like big guns, tall strong men with big you know whats? I honestly don’t and therefore…does that make me abnormal?? I don’t know.

Why does society have ingrained in us that the guy is the ‘Protector of the small and weak girl’, saves the girl… lifts weights, and says and does all those romantic stuff. Men are usually seen as leaders, they are the ones who ask the girl out… propose marriage.

In my little mind, I imagine the man driving the car, paying for dinner, lifting those heavy boxes…call me old-fashioned, but that’s my thoughts on men. I would feel weird if the guy was skinnier or lighter than me…if they were shorter…I might even feel insecure if they were cuter or prettier than me…

Since when did we develop such preference for men to be a certain way?

I do think girls have it hard too, in that they need to look pretty, slim, and act in a certain way to attract guys…but often we forget, guys get teased for being small, short, and weak looking.

Then again I suck at cooking, cleaning, ironing, and those stereotypical tasks that women are usually depicted in doing. =s

I would be interested to hear your thoughts.

Quiet Before the Storm

After six months of working 6-7 days a week. Suddenly I am back to one day a week.

Scary. What should I do with all this spare time?

Of course I need to job hunt and keep doing interviews.

But, still so much time.

So I have a few things I am thinking to work on or do during this time.

  1. Being able to cook edible, easy, and semi-healthy meals for myself.
  2. Make sure I am up to date with my CPD (Continuing Professional Development) points for this year! We need to complete 40 CPD points as a year as a pharmacist.
  3. Aim to update daily with quality on this blog! This will include scheduled and unscheduled posts.
  4. Start doing recorded live interviews for my (almost forgotten) podcast! I have a few ideas of regular everyday people that I want to interview for my podcast.
  5. Work out 4 times a week and lose that post-covid 19 fat T_T!!
  6. Catch up with my nephew, sister, aunty, and uncle!
  7. Try to grow something. Flowers, cucumber, Carrot. Anything. Except mold. No Mold please.
  8. Think and plan my goals for the rest of the year and next year. I.e. financial goals, Shares goals, and etc.
  9. Finally have some time to clear out the junk in the kitchen, bathroom, and do I even want to touch the living room?!
  10. Get in some solid restful sleep.  CHILLAX. Destress and hopefully my resting heart rate will go back down to ~60  instead of the 72 it is now 😦

 

Here’s hoping that I will make the most of the time I have between now and my next job… 🙂

Last Day

Last days are so awkward.

There is a swirl of emotions.

Happiness. Sadness. Regret. Anxiety.

There are people that you may never see again.

There are some you want to say Good Riddance forever to

Then there are others that you want to hold onto to.

So many memories are made…both the good and the bad.

But, you appreciated the journey.

You learnt something new.

You grew a bit as a person and as an adult.

And you are one step closer to where you might want to go.

You’ll miss it, but you don’t know if you would go back given the chance.

But maybe you will have the opportunity one day.

Who knows?

Thank you Siri

It is it just me that has been honed to have good mannerisms, even when no one is around?

I feel bad when I don’t thank Siri after telling them to “Set a timer for 5 minutes”. I instinctively say, “Thank you”…because I feel like if I don’t, they won’t do it for me anymore. But, Siri isn’t even human…?!?!

WEIRD…

I also notice, I say “Excuse me” whenever I let out a manly burp or a sneeze, but no one is around. Why am I like this?!

My theory is that because I am at work so often, with so many other people…I just have become like what I am.

Is it a subconscious act?!!?

Does technology have feelings? >.<

 

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Photo by Tyler Lastovich on Pexels.com

The end of a chapter and the start of the next

The cogs of change are changing again and life as I had known it for the last 9 months , funny how it started as a 4 week gig. When did it change? When did I stop caring, stop striving, and lost my focus?

I think I did bring it upon myself…too scared to let go of what is safe and what is familiar and immerse myself into the unknown. I am not sure if that is partly the reason why I find myself in this predicament. But then ironically, I prove myself right. It didn’t work out, but at least I have a some form of security in knowing that I have the second job while looking for something new.

It’s scary. Not knowing what my future will be like. But hey, this has been happening every few months before a contract ends. I still remember the terror and anxiety I felt when my first contract was almost ending…I was worried did I make a good impression? I’ve always worked hard and did my best to be nice to everyone. But I guess when you so hard and with no recognition, you start feeling under appreciated, tired, stressed, and burdened. Too scared to complain because you want to be chosen to stay there, yet everyday feels harder than the day before.

This good bye was inevitable. There are regrets, but there are also moments where I had a confidence that I did not have before and I am proud that this difficult situation developed that in me. Standing up for my rights and of others is something that I strive to do. I think it has something to do with respecting yourself and speaking up when something things off or wrong. Working in a mental health institution has always been a goal of mine and I have fulfilled that and believe this was be a stepping stone into something greater.

Apparently, with this company there will be an exit interview…this is not something I have done before, despite working in so many places previously. There is so many things I want to say, but I need to be careful of saying anything too bad,  because I need this people to be referees. There is never a way to win is there? Better to leave on good times than bad. I am both scared, yet also looking forward to a change of scenery. Bring on the last 3 weeks of full time work…

Stay Tuned for updates

The Breaking Point

I think we all have a limit.

A point where just one small thing can put you over the edge.

Something small that usually wouldn’t bother you.

But you have had enough.

I think you know it’s happening, even when you try to convince yourself everything is okay.

People think you are fine when you are barely holding yourself together.

You try to brush it away, pretend it is not real…BUT IT IS there and it eats away like you like an internal parasite.

The parasite is eating away at your and slowly it takes over your whole body.

Slowly you become an empty shell…Where you feel nothing, care about nothing, and do things you didn’t care about.

It’s a ticking timebomb and someday…you are gonna explode.

Then you will know.

It’s too late.

You’ve reached your breaking point.

Nothing Beats the Original

Technology has kept us together during this pandemic, but no matter how technologically advanced technology can become…it still doesn’t beat real life. For the first time since forever, we had my Aunt and Uncle over at the same time as my sister and my immediate family. Nothing beats having a meal together with loved ones…We can video chat all we want, but it is so hard to give your undivided attention in a video chat. It just didn’t feel the same. Eating the same food is just more enjoyable when it’s shared with people whose company you enjoy.

This pandemic has really emphasized how important and how much I enjoy the same family gatherings. Because my Uncle is originally from England, my aunt and uncle spend half the year in Adelaide and the other half in England. Normally at this time of the year, they would be overseas in London during this time of the year, so it is nice to have them around to celebrate their birthdays.

On a side note, to minimise the risk of transmission of germs, we all had disposable plates, cutlery, and cups to use and we also didn’t sit too close to my Aunt and Uncle, to make sure we are still abiding by the rules of social distancing. . Not good for the environment, but good for me since I was responsible for cleaning up the mess after the party! Can’t say I had missed that…

Social Wealth

Whose place is it to determine someone’s worth in society?

Does it rely on age, gender, race, or other physical attributes? Just because someone is physically not as able to move around, does not mean they cannot contribute to society. Just look at Stephen Hawking And Nick Vujoic.

Society looks at a homeless person in the street and decides they are not worth much. However, they may be the mother of two beautiful children who have become a front line worker, they may be the beloved sister in her family. They were a precious child of their adoring parents.

Just because someone hasn’t finished school or gone to University doesn’t mean they cannot go on to do great things, look at the creator of Facebook who never finished his college degree. Just because you didn’t get a head start in life and be born into a rich family, doesn’t mean that you can’t make that a goal for yourself. Just because you didn’t grow up in a family of doctor, doesn’t mean you can’t pursue that profession for yourself.

Who is to judge whether one profession or the other has more prestige or power? Just because a cleaner isn’t getting paid as much as a top surgeon, doesn’t mean that they are any less important. There are so many important people in the world that are looked down upon and shunned in society.

I am not even sure what exactly the point I was trying to make was, but does and should your bank income and your job title determine your social status? Going through credit checks for  mortgages and credit cards, they ask how much you earn, how much you spend, and they are interested in what suburb you live in. We are reduced to a number of facts and figures and we are judged on that. It’s a strange society that we live in. It doesn’t matter if you are a reliable and honest person, if your numbers and statistics doesn’t reflect it.

Brand Loyalty

So today, I did a dumb thing. I accidentally dropped my non-water proof iphone 6 into the toilet…It was my first and hopefully  last time to do that. I freaked out..!! All the germs that must be on my phone! So I did the stupidest thing possible, I ran it under the tap to wash it. Then I tried to dry it with a towel, then I disinfected it with an antibacterial wipe. Yes, it’s probably clean, but also I have unknowingly (?) caused water damage to my phone. The screen is like all messed up, the touch ID finger print sensor doesn’t work anymore, and it permanently says I have headphone plugged in when I certainly do not. So basically I have a phone that you cannot hear from, cannot use touch ID, and has this white glow in the middle of the screen. Fingers crossed no one will call me in the next few days until I get my new phone.

So I bought a new iphone outright on a whim. THIS IS THE PROBLEM WITH HAVING A CREDIT CARD!!! I will write a separate post for that. Extra time to pay off my large purchases? Yes Please. 😦 . I have decided to upgrade to a iphone 11. Currently I have a SIX. Which is basically ancient and was dying before I dropped it in the water…So it was sort of good timing I GUESS. Why did I get a new iphone? I can’t explain it. I am not interested in other phones anymore…4 years ago I got my first iphone and have fallen deeply in love with it, then it spiraled out of control from there. After my first iphone, I got a second iphone 2 years later…then I splurged on a MAC BOOK AIR..and this year I got Apple airpods. What’s next?!?! Probably Apple Smart Watch when if and only IF my fitbit ever dies or I lose it again. It just makes sense to get another Apple product to complete my collection. I just love all my Apple products.. HECK if there was an Apple car … TAKE MY MONEY? Did I tell you I have the Apple sticker on my car, in my poor attempt to make it an apple car? Lame. I know. But this my friend, is BRAND LOYALTY.

It can start off subtle, when someone you know takes out their iphone and it’s SO SHINY and apparently the battery life is great! You compare it with your shitty android phone with bad battery, and think to yourself…Let’s try getting an iphone next time! THEN you are hooked. Probably hooked for life. It’s not just phones as well, it’s cars, vacuum cleaners, hair straighteners, clothes, skin products.  I think we as humans have just made brand loyalty as part of our DNA…and addiction, a habit…and it starts with those around us like our parents influencing us. I have a Toyota because my parents usually bought toyotas. My sister bought a GHD hair straightner, so I also bought one. I bought an iphone, then my mum and brother followed suit. Heck, we even make habits of even where we choose to cut our hair and hence because of Covid I haven’t had a hair cut in almost 10 months because my hairdresser isn’t open :(.

My point in all this is (if there is a point) to raise an awareness of our brand loyalty. Why are we so loyal to that brand? It most likely would be because of the product’s reliability and how durable or how well it functions. I trust Apple to always make a good quality, long lasting, and sleek looking devices. I know it may seem over-priced, but I rather spend a bit more on something I will really love using and look after, than something cheaper which I don’t love.

What brands are you addicted to?

Expectations Vs Reality

Have you ever ordered one of those “Meal Prep Ready Kits? i.e HelloFresh etc?”, they contain all the ingredients and instructions to make the beautiful dishes that are pictured on the front of their brochures? You get super excited because you are going to end up with that awesome looking meal for dinner. Get that feeling? NO?  Well, anyway let me explain, how many times has it turned out like how you expected? The carrots you received became soggy in the fridge, your knives weren’t sharp enough to cut the vegetables up nicely like they did, you old stove cooktop doesn’t have accurate temperature settings, so your beef is a bit burnt. Your egg didn’t turn out that beautiful sunny way that you imagined it would be. You plate it up and take a photo of it for the sake of showing everyone the effort that you TRIED to make it like the picture. You write #Nailedit when you mean FAILED IT.

It not only looks shit, but it tastes shit too :(. Our great expectations can sometimes lead to great dissapointments as well. We hype ourselves up, this is the moment, this is the job we always wanted, this is the relationship that we always wanted… We all have this fake, unrealistic expectations that this is what you wanted…maybe…maybe just in your head. Perhaps some people are born more as dreamers than others. We don’t settle for what we have, we aren’t comfortable where we are…we always want…whatever is on the other side. Because the grass is always greener on the other side?  Isn’t it?  It really might be! Or it could end up being fake artificial grass. LOL.

 

What is the point of this post? I just wanted to say, there are so many expectations that I have had of myself…I turned the big 3-0 this year and it still amazes me that I still feel like the same kid that I was 12 years ago when I first finished high school. I had no idea what I would be doing, but I thought that by 30 I would be married, kids, stable job, house, dog, moved out… But, hey I am turning 30 in about 6 months and I certainly have none of that… Still single, have a pet turtle, still living with parents, on a contract job, STILL studying. But that is not what I am focussing on, I don’t want to be all negative and pessimistic. I think it’s okay to have expectations. Because I guess it gives you hope that things will change. I might be better off in 10 years than I imagined in my head and do you know what? I have realised some of those things, I don’t think I even necessarily want! It’s just that the people and environment have bred me to believe that’s what it takes to become an adult and to be seen as an adult by others.

Marriage? Maybe. Kids? Probably not. House? Yes, if I can still travel too…the loan is like a chain to my geet though :(. Dog? Yes, but I MIGHT even settle for just a cat, stable career? That’s a bit boring… I get bored in one job for too long :(.

Maybe our mindset changes, maybe we as people are just changing. Whatever it is, I am just saying it’s okay to not be where you thought you would be. Because you wouldn’t be where you are now if you didn’t walk the path you took.  Wow look at me trying to be philosophical and shit, but anyway, that’s my random rant for this week.

 

Thank you and Stay safe!

 

 

Random Rants: Generous Giving

 

Even as a child, I was always a giver. It was ingrained into me from a young age from my mother, “Why get fat by eating it all by yourself, when you can share it around and not be fat?”. With that mentality, I would share whatever snacks or food I had with others, I felt extremely uncomfortable to be the only one eating. If no one else was eating, I didn’t want to eat. It made me feel like a little selfish pig and gave me this really guilty feeling. I am not saying that is a healthy thing to have! Now, I am almost the opposite, I can’t stand the sound of people chewing or eating really loudly, it’s so off-putting and distracting. But I do still like to bring food to share and to give to others…

 

Not trying to say I am a saint or anything, but when I was younger I was sympathetic the beggars I saw on the street, despite not having money, I would try to give them something useful like food or a pocket hand warmer…  When I finally had a job in university, on my 22nd birthday, I remember signing up to sponsor a child in Africa who had the same birthday as me. Despite sponsoring her for many years and receiving the periodic update letters from her, I never responded to a single one. I was like an anonymous sponsee that never seemed to have time to write a letter to someone I didn’t know.

 

One day, my brother told me, instead of just throwing money to random organisations and where the money goes into paying for the staff working in the organisation in a place far away. What about instead of focussing on the people across the world, what about the people around you? This led me into a phase where I was trying to find the right place to volunteer and tried all these different places. I felt while the work I did there was alright for the moment, I felt there was so much more potentially that I could do.  There was so much I wanted to do, but so little time. I loved animals, I loved kids, I cared about the disadvantaged, people with disabilities, the medically sick…I wanted to go on medical mission trips across the world and help people in development countries, myself. That was my dream, I do still hope to do that someday. But reality hits, this all needs money. It doesn’t come for free…to get there I need to study hard to get into the degree, I need to get experience, and become qualified. I guess you can call it perhaps my calling in life for the desire to help others and to give.

It’s not always just about giving money, but thinking what can you actually DO and just to be kind to those around you, even if they are hard to love. Be wise with where you invest your money and time and don’t just throw it around blindly, also don’t just keep all the money for yourself!

Not Everyone is cut out to become a Parent

Once a couple has been married a few years, the natural questions they most commonly will be asked is, “So when are you having kids?”. Our current society has this expectation of young couples to start families, ASAP. However, we are often forgetting that life just gets busier and busier. People are more focussed on building their careers, travelling the world, and doing other great things, it’s hard to stop and try to fit having kids in there. I solemnly believe that having kids is not everyone’s cup of tea…It might be the right thing for one couple, but shouldn’t be expected for every couple out there.

 

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate kids. I absolutely LOVE playing with my nephew or other people’s kids. I used to serve as a Sunday School teacher for many years…people know I love kids and I am good with them, but that does not necessarily mean I will or want to have my own kids. There is a difference in playing with kids during their happiest times and not having enough sleep for the last 3 months because your kid will not stop crying in the middle of the night. There are so many things that are more important in my life at this time and kids don’t fit into the equation. I am working in two jobs, studying a graduate certificate, and also working on this blog, and ideas for my book. I just can’t imagine having time to fit in kids as well and I think that is absolutely fine. Right now, I am still saving up money to buy my own home. I don’t know how I will be able to afford to raise a child, let alone be able to send them to school, and pay for all those additional expenses. Not everyone will make a great parent, some parents are too selfish and won’t look after their kids properly and this leads to some kids getting abused, blamed, and neglected, their parents shouldn’t have kids. Just because you gave birth to a child, doesn’t mean you will always love them and this is why so many kids end up in foster care, orphanages, and on the streets. 

 

In saying that, I have friends whose biggest goal and dream in life are to become a great mother or father. They feel like it is their life purpose to have kids and to make sure that they turn out alright. The human population would slowly die out if we didn’t have kids, it means there will be no younger workforce to look after the elderly and to take up laborious jobs that older people can’t do. The younger generation is our future and I agree it is important to have kids, but the world is already overpopulated in a way and in developing countries, it is a big issue and that is why China implemented the ‘One-Child Policy’ for a period of time to reduce overpopulation in China. Parents and Grandparents often encourage their children and grandchildren to produce offspring because that is what their grandparents and parents wanted from them. Yes, it is good to have kids, but not everyone should have them.

 

I believe you need to have a calling to be a parent. It’s not for everyone and it is not for me. I love kids, however, I can’t imagine revolving my whole life around the raising of the child and blaming myself if they didn’t turn out well. While the majority of heterosexual couples will probably end up having kids, I think it is absolutely fine not to have kids and instead chase your dream career or other aspirations.