I am just realising the importance of having furnished verse non-furnished houses…
So many houses come unfurnished…have to buy your own fridge…microwave…washing machine..Bed…so expensive..especially if you are not planning to stay there long-term.
Then there is the cost of installing such things..which can put the cost to thousands and thousands…and is it really worth it.. :(?
I have also realised that a lot of the places I am looking to rent. like studio rooms with kitchen and toilets…are unfortunately STUDENT ACCOMMODATION. It’s damn cheap, small, but has everything…but I AM NOT A UNI STUDENT ANYMORE T_T Cries. Sucks when the cost is good, location is good, but they only take students.
I was up till like 1 am just checking through property after property and shortlisting some…It sucks how I can’t go into inspect..but I guess video is the next best thing…
It could be a time of anticipation, anxiety, fear or sadness.
I try to go to appointments early if I can, I do not like to keep people waiting for me.
But I noticed, sometimes when I get put into situations that I am forced to wait longer than I anticipated…I get a little pissed off..this is generally because I have already read all my Webtoons for the day…listened to my podcasts and generally have seen all the cat videos on facebook…
I get so angry waiting for the person to finally come….that sometimes I don’t even want to meet them anymore. LOL.
Maybe it’s me, I like everything to be done on time. I can’t stand those last minute meetings and where there is no time set in stone. I need details. I need detailed details. I need you to let me know in advance if you are going to be late and how late you will be. Otherwise I’ll get angry.
This has been an thought of mine in the last few days… why does it always seem like we make a choice in either focusing our efforts on either ‘preventing’ something from happening or working on the ‘cure’ of it however temporary.
A classic example would be having vaccinations or waiting till you got a bug and taking medicines to ‘treat’ it. Do you pit yourself subject to numerous jabs by needles in order to give yourself the best possible chance against some pathogens you may or may not encounter?
Would your answer be easier if there is ‘no’ cure to a illness?
Straying to another prevention vs cure type scenario.. would be the cosmetic industry.. I see there are some companies that focus on solely on skin care.. moisturisers, toners, cleansing foams, eye creams, face masks… etc.. then there are other companies hat purely do make up..eyeshadow, blush, lipsticks.. you get my drift right? So, if you are thepreventative type person.. you would focus a great of your money, time, and energy on making your skin as healthy as possible .. and so you may not need make up because your skin is so ‘naturally’ good.
On the other hand, maybe you are not a patient person.. not one that follows a strict thorough skin care routine.. they only put on makeup when they are outside anyways.. they rather not waste time on a long and tedious skin care routine… thy instead focus heavily on make up.. which can turn a pimply, acne-prone, dry skinned etc skin into a beautiful model perhaps from a magazine… you can barely recognise them without make up. They are just that good at make up..however , when the make up is gone.. they actually have terrible skins..
The last example I will give is.. about the decisions we make in life.. our openness towards letting other come into our lives. Have we had our trust broken before? Are we afraid to love or to let others love us? Are we always afraid that they will leave us or worse.. hurt us in a way that we feel we truly never heal…?
Or do we recklessly let people in, with the hopes that this person will be different and that they wont hurt us..? When they do, we get ‘treatment’.. which could be in all different forms… maybe its bingeing on food, random sex, drugs, alcohol, or just letting yourself be depressed for awhile and hoping you will get better.
How about you? Are you a preventative or a treatment prone person? Which had the better life?
So I have finished the first book by Marie Kondo “The Life-changing Magic of Tidying”and have started listening to the audiobook for her second book. I think it is too early to tell if my life has changed from tidying…well technically I haven’t finished yet.. I am still in the process of getting rid of papers and books…It’s a bit hard…I went through all my notes from my University undergrad days…and there sure was a lot of trees that were sacrificed for my sake. :(. I feel bad for chucking away all the once important informations…but to be honest…when am I going to need it again?
Things are always changing in my profession, so whatever I was taught back then is probably out of date and superseded by some new information…
Going through all my books from university, I noticed that my style of studying changed dramatically throughout the year. I started with using just A4 clear plastic folders…then this turned into those folders in which you can bind papers together and still write on them…then in my later years I discovered the “ART OF BINDING”! And I bound all my notes for a subject in one big chunk…It was awesome..But it also meant I had to carry all of my notes despite maybe only needing just one lecture note.
That aside, I had to really think, what would I like to keep?
In the end the things that I kept were things that I thought maybe I would use in the future..for me personally it was things pertaining to Clinical Trials and Opioid Substitution therapies in which are the areas I work in at the moment. I also kept some mock oral exam scenarios…just incase I ever am able to get into teaching! I would love to be one of those on the other side of the examination table…
Marie Kondo said there are two main reasons why people find it difficult to discard things...
1. They are worried they might need that item in the future
2. They are afraid of letting go of the past and the memories attached to those objects.
This really struck me hard. Why had I kept so much stuff? Was it because I wanted to remember the past? While cleaning up my room, I found letters, cards photos, random keepsakes of places I have travelled to and postcards…What was the point of keeping all of these things? I honestly don’t ever even look at it! They only get found by cleaning. ..Marie Kondo says many people say they want to be able to grow old and then have all of these memories to reflect back on the past... But what about living in the moment? Why do you want to live forever in the past? What happened to making good memories right now? Reminiscing greatly does not help in my opinion…unless you just want to remain stuck in the past.
I did find it hard to let go of all the excess items that I have hoarded. These things looked perfectly usable…HOWEVER, I did not use them. Marie Kondo also said, “If you look after your things, they will look after you”. I honestly do not think I look after most of my items well…No wonder they look sad and worn out! She stressed the importance of treating your things with respect and making sure that the items return to the home that they came from. She also shared in her book that she thanks her items for the hard work they have done for her for that day…that may sound crazy, but who knows…maybe your items will work for you longer :O..I personally think t doesn’t hurt to be grateful for what you have…
This clean has made me realise that I am just as bad of a hoarder as my parents…but you probably would not be able to tell at first glance at my room…It’s relatively clean…Minimal items on the floor..I have boxes, cupboards, and wardrobes that hide all my excess items. It looks clean, but it really isn’t…I’ve just created that illusion by putting all my things away behind closed doors…It made really think about my life…and have I also been stuffing all my true intentions, emotions, and hiding how who I am and what I truly feel behind closed doors?
So, I do believe that the tidying that I have been doing has really challenged the way I think about problems…am I really solving them ? Or just temporarily hiding it out of sight? In which they will resurface again each time I do a “Clean”…
How about you? Are you going to take the challenge and get into the Life Changing Magic of Tidying? You never know what sort of life lessons you might learn from it!
Have you ever thought about what you want in life?
What is the end goal that you are working towards?
Or are you working towards nothing at this moment?
I have recently read “How to write good” By the YouTuber Ryan Higa..I am big fan of YouTubers who also write books! I love the heart to heart back stories and inspirational that you can draw from everyday people like you and I.
He mentions that as a young kid he had thought about becoming a radiologist or even a pharmacist! But then he decided that that was too hard or too boring respectively. I think he made a wise decision, rather than waste all that effort, time, and money to get to that stage of life and realise maybe it was all for nothing..if you aren’t passionate or dedicated enough to do it.
Higa says that as a high school kid, he got into wrestling and he was so passionate and dedicated to wrestling..so much so that he would run 5miles each day and go on crazy diets just to lose enough weight to compete in his weight class… before that he wasn’t driven to attend Judo or Basketball training..he hated it… because he had no interest or passion for it…How many of us do the things we do, just because we are used to it? Just because we are not great at it, but we don’t suck at it. We grow complacent and just do it because its familiar, its normal, its better than doing nothing right?
Well, as Winnie the Pooh once said, “Sometimes doing nothing can lead to the very best of something”…but in this case maybe it helps us realise what we don’t like and focus on what we might end up finding we like…
High also mentions how his love for making videos was for his own viewing pleasure and for a select few friends…back in the old days he had a family cam corder he would use to record at family events and do random videos with his neighbour hood friends… all successes started with small seemingly insignificant starts. Now look at Higa, 13 years later and one of the most successful YouTubers of all time…
Don’t hate the small starts, they are only the beginning of something more awesome…
I would like to hope starting and continuing this blog will lead me somewhere equally as awesome..maybe I will get to publish a book one day?
Sometimes we tell ourselves things have to be a certain way or we won’t be and can’t be happy. People with OCD will understand what I mean…
This is an extremely unhealthy and unproductive way to think.
We tell ourselves things like, “If only I get that job or promotion, then I will be happy” , “If only that girl/guy liked me then I could be happy“…If only …[insert desire thing here]…then I would be happy…:(
How long is your “happy” feeling going to last anyway?
We are basically just setting ourselves up for failure…with the thinking that we wont ever be “happy” until something we desire happens…Does that mean we are just going to be “unhappy” until we get that thing?
Why do people desire this temporary feeling of happiness? It is such a fleeting, fickle moment in time that simmers down and disappears in a matter of hours, days or maybe if we are lucky weeks.
As I think they say in physics, that if something goes up, then it must also come down.
After we get desired happiness, we are at a limbo…are we happy now? Are we content? Probably not…you probably already found something else to crave for/desire…
Having black and white thinking about our dreams, goals and ambitions is not a good thing..instead we should thinking of them as shades of grays.
Yes, it is good to have these dreams, goals and ambitions, but we shouldn’t let these things determine whether we are happy people. How about we aim for that goal, but if we don’t reach it we can still be content that we are not where we used to be?
Just because that job that you got didn’t turn out to be what you thought it would be, the relationship that you were so sure would end in marriage; ended breaking up, even if you took an entrance exam three times and failed every time…. it doesn’t mean that you failed… it doesn’t mean you cannot be happy now.
Hey, be content. You have not reached your destination yet, but why not enjoy the journey? Who knows, you may even find a different path that is even greater than the one you had pictured for yourself. Things don’t have to be black and white, they can be grey. Be kind to yourself, give yourself permission to be happy now…enjoy the journey, because this journey is life long.
Happiness doesn’t fall upon you. It’s something that you actively have to choose to be, strive for, and work for. It is being aware that everything isn’t great now, but that you can be still content with where you are and know that you are going somewhere among the storm we call life.
I think, innately everyone desires to have a nice work place..A place where you look forward to seeing your colleagues, a place with nice patients/clients and a place where you feel safe.
When one or more of these things are not there, it can make it a very depressing and difficult time…especially if you work and spend extended periods of time in the same place with the same people.
I’ve noticed when there is someone I don’t like at work, I do my best to avoid them. I know, I know it doesn’t solve all the issues. But, if I can run away from confrontation I will..try my best… to run away…
In the end, it doesn’t really matter (cue Linkin Park sound track)…very rarely does it solve the problem…but by being more confident, by standing up for yourself and doing something about it…things can change. Well, I least I do hope so.
I’ve worked/working in a few workplaces that deal with extremely difficult clients, whether drug seekers, criminals or just mentally disturbed…it can be hard! I’ve had to call the police a few times, threaten to and just been scared for my life. I get it, it can be hard and sometimes you wonder…is it worth it? Feeling scared all the time going into work…to get mentally, physically or emotionally abused by clients?
I hate retail. You feel like you have to constantly suck up to your customers or they wont buy your stuff! You have to please them and they can kick a fuss about absolutely anything and I hate that word “The customer is always right”. Because they are not.
Unsafe work places are just hazards just waiting to occur…This could be unsafe because of the machinery/equipment at work…like having boiling water all around you…carrying steaming hot hotpots… or slicing numerous amounts of meats with a dull blade. Unsafe work places can’t be happy places… 😦 If people are constantly getting injured or being affected by the toxic (literally) unsafe work place, it can’t be a very happy place to work in in my opinion.
Good workplaces can be a extremely hard thing find, so if you do find one, stick to it!
Otherwise, start your own business and work for yourself 😉
Well, if you are a fellow procrastinator like myself, you will definitely relate to this post…New Years is almost upon us, and I wanted to make sure I did this post before the change in years…because I have a feeling I might forget/laze out before writing it..
I love writing, but I also love procrastinating. In an almost viscous cycle of events for self-sabotage..it’s like the more we procrastinate, the more we love it. Love doing nothing.
The last few days before New Year’s, it the BEST time to procrastinate. The washing that needs to be done, the house that needs to be cleaned, the car that has an infestation of spiders (eek) and the weight that needs to be lost from that overindulgence of chocolate and sweets over Christmas season? I’ll do it next year! Why do we love this phrase? Because, Next year sounds so freaking far away! It won’t come that soon right? Tomorrow, Next week, Next Month…these sounds close and real, but next year? That only happens about 100 times in an average human (if you are lucky/unlucky to live that long). So many times I find myself putting things off, because NEXT YEAR sounds like a good time to start.
Supposedly, I have tricked myself into thinking that I will wake up and suddenly want to and feel motivated to start studying…to start planning, saving and being more disciplined to go to the gym again… But, unfortunately for us procrastinators, I know too well…that that won’t be the case.
We got to, and can make a decision today (or tomorrow, or next week…) that we will do thing that we need to do. Because, next year is literally around the corner. :O
If we pile too many “resolutions, goals and tasks” to do “next year”, we will most likely feel overwhelmed with the sheer amount of things to do, we might end up doing nothing…but stressing out.
I hope every has Happy New Year! May you be safe, happy and get enough sleep for your soul.
Cheers to a year where we will (hopefully) procrastinate less.
Anyways, I will just reward myself for writing this post with a quick 30 minutes episodes of “Love at First Swipe-” BY Jinny Boy………….then I will get on with…….
This year, 2018, I have learned a lot of things…as people do.
The notion of taking time to do nothing…has lead to the very best of something. [Winnie the Pooh,2018].
My parents go away every year for a minimum of 2 months to Asia every year. I mean, I am a big girl, right? I should know how to look after myself because I am 2[censored]* years old now!
WIth age, does not come wisdom automatically and if you are used to living with your parents for most of your life at home, how is one supposed to know how to become an adult if not given the opportunity? How is one supposed to know how to look after themselves?
Being the second youngest in my family…has its perks and also its downfalls. I am not the oldest, so I am not the bravest. I am not the youngest so I am not the most spoiled.
I am just kinda in the middle…Torn between acting like an adult or acting like a child.
Age is all relative, isn’t it?
If you put a baby next to a teenager, of course, the teenager is the old one out of them.
If you put that same teenager next to an 80-year-old man, of course, the teenager looks young.
If you put that 80-year-old man next to a prehistorical 3000 BC man, of course, that 80-year-old man is the young and still ALIVE one.
Hope you get my point.
Anyway, what was I talking about again?
So, back to my story. So this time when my parents went away, things were better. Because. My brother finally got his license and this means I don’t have to transport him everywhere and, in previous years I’ve been doing the majority of the grocery shopping because he claims, ”I can’t drive” and also if I asked him to come with me, he was like “You got this, I don’t need to come”. I think that would piss anyone off and plus he would not contribute to the groceries cost unless I asked him.
This made me extremely angry. BUT, then I asked myself. Aren’t I just as bad as him?
Yes, I am not his mother. But, my parents provide for me for the 10 months of the year…bills…water…food…groceries…toilet paper…etc and they don’t ask me for money…well I kinda give it to them anyways.
My brother and I live a privileged life because my parents pampered us and did everything for us.
When they were gone, I realised how dependent I still was. I had to cook, I learned to clean and to be more organised because time is more precious now and I can’t afford to waste money eating out all the time.
Things came into perspective…when I got into fights with my brother about doing chores or who had to pay for what. I realised…that my brother was taking advantage of me because I was older than him…he expected me to do everything for him. He treated me as if I was an adult.
But, I insisted that he TOO was an adult.
As much I was telling him to be an adult, I realised that I needed to as well.
The ball dropped. I was an adult when my parents were here too. It doesn’t..shouldn’t matter if they are here or not. I do not revert back to a helpless kid when they come back. I am an adult, I can and I am continuing to learn to look after myself.
I think I finally understand what WongFu Productions video on adulting was trying to say, it is not about eating healthy, exercising or getting more money. It is really about taking control of your life, of your finances, of your health and using your time wisely. It is about being the bigger person and really looking at your life and to see if you are doing something that you really want to do.
Hope you have been keeping warm in this insanely cold winter ( in Adelaide :(). I am currently wearing 4 layers of clothing and a scarf to keep myself warm…!
Anyways, a topic came up among some of my friends in regards to “Controlling behaviours” in their relationships with their parents in particular, but I know it can also happen in relationships between significant others or even friends. It can lead to you feel entrapped in a snare of someone else and it doesn’t feel good at all 😦
It could also be a controlling boss, parent or kid that is messing your life up…and it IS hard to deal with because they mean something to you and you have to somehow deal with their behaviour. So basically, from what I have read on the internets, we cannot control the way they behave, BUT they believe they are able to control the way we behave. No one has full control over someone else, so it is like this, even if you point a gun to someone’s head and tell them to “SAY THEY LOVE YOU”, they don’t have to, they have a choice to die instead, but most of the time I guess they would just listen..maybe..
So, often for the person being controlled, I don’t want to call them a victim, but I guess they might feel that way? Which is not good! You are allowing other people to walk all over you. I’ve been bullied in high school and in the workplace and I know how bad it can be and how hard it is to stand up to bullies…I wish I was an expert at dealing with bullies and controlling people, but I am not… I have also been guilty of being somewhat a bully/controlling person to my younger brother, in primary school, and in some relationships. I guess what goes around comes around?
But anyways, no point living in the past, that is in the past and now is a new future which we shall build for ourselves, to not be controlling and not be controlled!
So, I have mentioned before that we need to realise:
1. We belong to no one in particular and it is important to develop our own self-worth.
While being in relationships are great and all, you also need to know who you are and what you like. Don’t feel peer-pressured to doing what everyone else is doing just because you want to fit in all the time. Know that it is okay to do things that you like alone-hey it is even better to make new friends this way.-Forcing yourself out of your comfort zone.
2. Know that dependent on one person is not good-Strive for Independence
If someone forces you to rely on them for everything, that is not a good position to be FOR YOU. What happens if that person dies the next day? You won’t know how to do anything, because they NEVER taught you, because they wanted you to depend on them. IT’S BAD! Even if that person never teaches you, LEARN TO TEACH YOURSELF! YouTube, ask others for help and advice and if its a workplace, probably best to move workplace. They might think they are doing you a favor by doing everything and not teaching you anything, but they are not, they are sabotaging your future as someone that is independent and CAPABLE. They are looking down on you and not helping you up. Sometimes parents may do this unknowingly, but your child is not going to grow up properly, they might be a child for the rest of their lives 😦
3. Make some plans to improve your position in this controlling relationship
This may mean that you may need a break from that relationship for awhile until you get stronger or think if this relationship is worth it. This can be particularly hard for significant others or Parent-Child relationships…This is why it is important to start planning early, if you lack the funds to move out from your parent’s home, look for a job and start saving up and plan to move out! Ask friends about places to rent and start looking at properties etc. Sometimes distance from that controlling person, helps you realise how suffocated you actually are and how sweet freedom tastes.
4. Be the bigger person-Age is just a number and experience is subjective
I have been in the situation where I was belittled for being young and inexperienced. I think this is particularly a big thing for people from Asia, they believe that wisdom always comes with age. Some are stubborn and refuse to accept that maybe young people may be right and they aren’t always right…Sigh…It’s hard to communicate with Asian people with their traditional ways of doing things…sure as a kid I didn’t know any better and also believed that Tiger balm heals everything! But, now having completed my 5 year program to become a Registered Pharmacist, I know many things that can help a migraine instead of rubbing Tiger Balm on my head…though maybe the placebo effect is still important… ANYWAY, back on topic. It is good to still be respectful in the way you act towards controlling people, be the bigger person. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything they say, but you don’t need to escalate and fight back with spiteful words, you don’t want to sink to their level. Good guys always win in the end right?
5. Do your best to negotiate and bring in a mediator/therapist if needed!
If all else fails, you might need to get someone to help you communicate! An emotionally intelligent individual/close friend may be able to help. If not, a good therapist may help to restore or help resolve certain issues between two people. Looking back at my experiences of being bullied, I can see people who were insecure about themselves and wanted to bully those they felt they were better to feel better about themselves. They projected their own insecurities onto someone else and hence felt some sort of enjoyment in that. A psychologist could help them come to terms with their own problems and that hence stops the bullying or controlling nature- in an ideal world.
Like I said, I don’t think I am an expert in this area, but this article was quite helpful in helping me get ideas for this post: Wiki-How to cope with a controlling parent. A really good anime movie I would recommend would be “A silent voice”-which touches on the bullying behaviours of high school kids, a really good watch!
Anyways, if you guys have any experiences you would like to share, please comment below!
Well, recently I have been thinking more and reflecting on what it means to be an “adult”. As Wong Fu’s video on adulting put it as it is about having control over your life and not letting life control you basically. Life is like a game, you need to have control over your player (i.e. you).
I thought that makes sense! But I hadn’t really thought about it much deeper than that…What does it mean to actually have control over your life? I mean, isn’t there a bigger person up there who does all that for us anyway?
I have had a bit of brainstorm and have been reflecting on a few habits that I have picked up lately in my quest to become a proper adult.
1. Control over the use of my time
Putting this first because lately, I have started realising how much time I ‘waste’ on staring at my phone and laptop. More so phone… I think I have an addiction to my phone 😦 While there is no drug or cure for this condition yet, so I have had to take matters into my own hands and decide to set limits on how much I am allowed to use my phone, especially when I am in my bed…
Rules that I have set for myself include, timing how long I spend each night or day using my phone in my bed and recording it on a piece of paper. I have also deleted certain apps and accounts for some social media sites in an attempt to curve my addiction, this includes saying goodbye to my original facebook account and my YouTube mobile app… Not to mention they also kill my data ..R.I.P
2. Set limits to what time you want to be out of bed and in bed each night…and stick to it as much as you can!
For me, as I am pretty lenient on myself. I usually am up around 7 or 8 am, but I stay in bed for half-an-hour and a half longer…using my phone ..yup so bad. So I have decided to stick a limit of 9am being the latest I can lie in my bed! The latest I want to be in bed is by 1 am… !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hopefully, I can make my sleeping time earlier…It helps setting alarms to not only wake you up but also to remind you to sleep.
3. Record your spending
I have touched on spending and saving more in another post about “How to Save Money when you don’t have any” and one of the things I had mentioned was that I like to keep a log of everything that I spent money on. So petrol for the car, groceries, gym membership fees, phone bills and everything else. The cool thing about the app (I use Pocket Expense-which is free), is that is has a budget you can set on certain things. However, I do often go over my budgets, but its all a learning process!
4. Record what you eat
I only recently downloaded an app that lets you record down your meals, it is pretty cool! I haven’t been logging everything as of yet, but I think it is a good idea to have an idea of what you are eating every day and see what sort of nutrition you are lacking or bad food that you can cut out or reduce to enable you to have a healthier life.
5. Keep a health diary or a diary at least…
I love diaries and I love blogs! These things enable us to look back in time and remember what things caused what. You can use it to record how many times a month you had a headache, record when your period is (or get an app like I do) and just other stuff…you know emotional stuff too. When you see things for what it really is, it helps you know yourself and the way your body and mind work better.
6. Have a plan and goal for each day
Do you ever feel like you achieved nothing in a day? Well, head over to the other blog post about how to stop procrastination at it’s worst. Having a clear goal or sense of what you want to achieve in a day, leaves you feeling satisfied and will help you towards your bigger goal in the long run, it also helps you be more disciplined and feel more in control.
7. Make time for the things yourself, the things you love and the people you love
When you are trying to achieve presidency or trying to reach Mars, it can be easy to forget those that are around you or those still on Earth. Don’t forget to schedule in quality time with your loved ones and for doing the things you love. It is not the best feeling in the world to get to Mars and realise that you have no one to share that incredible news with. Don’t forget to #LOVE YOURSELF
8. Make time to look after your body to do EXERCISE
Exercise is super important and you shouldn’t neglect its valuableness as a natural anti-depressant and mood lifter! It is important for your physical and mental health that you do exercise regularly. Apple watches, Fitbits, and other fitness apps are making it easier to do and plan workouts! They also make it more fun by making it more interactive and competitive (who did the most steps this week?)
9. Know who your true friends and fake friends are
Who is there when you are not at your best or at your peak? Who calls you for help and then when you need them, they don’t pick up? Take time to develop and cultivate close connections with those that you treasure. A good friend is really hard to find and is more precious than a pearl…I think I requoted a bible verse here =s?
10. Allow yourself to be random and uncontrolled…once in a blue moon!
It is okay to have one day where you sleep into like 5pm or a cheat day every now and then. Life isn’t meant to be all serious and adult. When we embrace our inner child, it is a beautiful thing…But as an adult, we can’t be like that all the time…At some stage, we have to put back on our adult mask and trudge on with our healthy food and those squats.
I am sure there are many other ways we can have more control over our lives….so if you have any suggestions, leave your comments below!
Other than that, take care and I will see you next time!
I don’t know about you, but I personally think I am a very indecisive person. I take a longggggg time to make a decision and even after I think I have made it, doubts come to my mind and I start to question myself.
I think this all comes down to me thinking life is black and white and that opportunities only once and that this might be it. This kind of thinking doesn’t help in my opinion, you never know when a door that you weren’t expecting to be opened is opened…
Anyway, enough rambling about my indecisiveness and let’s go through what sort of steps and questions you should be asking yourself when faced with a major (or minor decision). Would you like chocolate on top of your ice cream?
If someone asks you to make a big decision, ask if you can have some time to think about it before giving them an answer. This could be things like “WILL YOU MARRY ME?”, “We would like to offer you this opportunity to work for us”, or even “Buy this limited edition BTS sweater and only pay for the shipping!”. Asking or taking time to think over a decision allows you to weigh up the pros and cons about that thing.
So as mentioned, make a list of pros and cons of each thing you are deciding and really wrack your brains ( and someone else’s-if you have friends) about all the different pros and cons. Usually, you will have one list that has more pros and cons and that might be the best option for you.
If you have someone that you are close to, share with them and discuss your options with you. Having some fresh insight from someone you respect can give you the perspective that you might not have thought of or having them be behind you can make you more confident in your decisions.
Think about you end goals or the vision or place you want to get to at the end. What is going to help you get there and what might make it harder to get there? Sometimes, this might mean giving up something you really want, just because right now might not be the right timing. It’s like that experiment where children were given one marshmellow in front of them, they were told, “You can choose to have one marshmellow now, OR you can wait 10 minutes (or however long) and you can 10 marshmellows but you can’t eat the one in front of you now. If you put it like that, it will help you make that tough decision of doing something that benefits you in the long wrong but it is painful at the moment. YOU JUST WANT TO EAT THAT MARSHMELLOW THAT IS in front you-but no, you be patient and just wait for something that is coming.
Live a life of no regrets! It is better to have tried, rather than not have tried. try not to stereotype every situation into something you have experienced before. For example, if you worked in a really bad environment in the past- you might take that experience into every other job that feels similar. Let go, learn and remember to keep trying new things and never stop.
Anyways, time to write out my pros and cons for the big decision I need to make this week.
If you are in Australia, keep warm and dry!
The question of the day: Is there a big decision that you need to make soon?
So, for those who know me, I’ve recently been applying for jobs…I really want to work now-to travel overseas *drools* #Traveltheworldgoals!!!!!But yes, I can’t go without having money…So this week I was fortunate enough to have not ONE but TWO interviews…and I am no expert at interviews, but I have been to a fair few and all some of the different types.So I’ve decided to put together some tips of mine to help search for a job and how to ace an interview! (Or at least get hired). They are in no particular order.
Get a haircut…and some new smart casual clothes. I mean it has been said that it’s not the clothes that make a person, but the clothes DO HELP. You need to dress appropriately for job interviews, you want to look good and if you look good, you will feel more confident. Black and white is usually a nice formal colour. Make sure your shoes are clean and match your clothes too!
2. Places that you can search for a job! I went to an information session which talked about how 80% of people got their job through non-conventional ways…i.e. Through people they know or in the “hidden” job market. Not all companies choose to advertise through websites like “Seek.COM” or “Career ONE”- though to be fair, a fair few of my jobs were found through there. Thinking about how I got some of my jobs, was through resume dropping at pharmacies or emailing companies who weren’t advertising and expressing my interest in working there with them. I also found a list of pharmacies (when searching for a part-time internship) and just called all of them and asked if they were hiring. It costs a lot of money to post job ads and I think most smaller companies cannot afford to do that or have the time to interview a large number of people.
3. I cannot stress how important it is to have experience– this not only includes working in a paid job but also in non-paid work. This can be work experience, internships or volunteer work. You got to put yourself out there, I mean most people don’t want to hire someone who has never worked a day in their life for a professional role right? Even if that job may not at first be completely related to what you studied you can gain useful skills such as communication, empathy, teamwork or just learning to work independently. It also shows that you care about your career and also you give back to the community-BONUS POINTS.
4. Okay, so you managed to find a job that you are interested in and you apply with your updated and polished resume- you have also checked that all your referees know that you are job hunting (just out of ourtesty)! You have been asked to attend an interview! Unless the person hiring you has told you do not need to bring your resume, bring one…just in case. Always try to get there at least 15 minutes early! It’s better to have time to sit there, then have anxiety at being late. It shows that you are punctual, organised and an ADULT.
5. Have a nice professional black/brown bag, or borrow one for the interview. Don’t have like bells or anime key rings around it. You want to look professional and like a proper adult!
6. SHAKE the hand of the person who comes to get you for the interview. If you have been introduced to other people in the panel-shake all their hands and greet them one by one. This is super awkward for me, as I normally don’t shake people’s hands…but it means that you acknowledge their presence?
7. If they offer you a glass of water, take it! Because by sipping the water, it calms you down and gives you additional time to think about a question before they expect an answer.
8. Don’t try to be overconfident, while no one wants to hire someone that is a blubbering mess but an overconfident person just radiates out cockiness. BUT also don’t talk yourself down due to your insecurities … You want to have a balance of both, but most of all, I think it is good to be yourself (your professional self) since if they work with you, they will eventually see it anyway.
9. Really do prepare beforehand for interviews, it helps prepare for unexpected questions and just shows that you did your research. Know the related past experiences you had and think of attributes or qualities that would make YOU an ideal person for the job.
10. If you have a friend PRACTICE interview questions with them, or you can practice even by yourself…For me, I like to type out possible questions they might ask and write down exactly what I would say…I don’t remember the text word for word, but it helps jog my memory when asked something similar.
11. SLEEP EARLY the night before the interview!!! Eat breakfast, meditate, watch funny videos…just try to relax...No one likes interviews! It IS stressful, make sure you reward yourself with a treat for going something so stressful and making it out alive and hopefully not making a fool of yourself…BUT even if you did, learn from your mistakes!
12. Learning from past interview failures by reflection and some rumination can help you develop better strategies and tips and tricks for the next interview you have! Where you promise yourself not to blabber on about your dog for five minutes when asked about where you see yourself in five years. Wait, what was the question again? Really remember to focus on answering their unasked questions, it is sneaky-but this is how you can learn to expect it and SHINE!
13. Finally, don’t lose hope, if you didn’t get a job, it is OKAY. It might not have been right for you anyway and there is always something better on the horizon that is yet to come! If everyone got the job they interviewed for, then no one would ever face rejection…but some jobs have 100s or 1000s of people who apply for them and they may be only interview 10 out of those people. Just be grateful and thankful that you made it to an interview! It means that they liked what they saw on paper and wanted to know more about you as a person! GOOD JOB and STAY POSITIVE!
Thanks for reading and hope this helps!
A question for you:
How did you get your current/last job?
I hope for all those job seekers out there that you will be able to find that ideal job for you <3!
Remember, to remember why you want to work and keep that as your focus and end goal!
Good luck and see you next post!
Well as the blog title says, this post is about how NOT to procrastinate…I think everyone here already knows how to procrastinate without me teaching them. It’s like an ingrain human attribute that we are unfortunately all born with. 😦
Have you ever had some dreams, goals or big plans in your life…that you kind of…go..oh maybe next year? …Hmm, I don’t think now is the best time right now…Maybe in a few years…etc etc..
I mean, yes sometimes things are beyond our control and we can’t reach our goals..but SOMETIMES okay maybe OFTEN it’s because we are too ‘busy’ procrastinating… Hopefully this post will help give you some tips to stop that procrastination..whether that be the ‘diet you will start tomorrow (since the New Year…it’s only JUNE NOW), the much needed study for the upcoming exams (exam time in Adelaide this month for uni students) or just that goal of becoming a Youtuber which you have procrastinated on (for years).
Well, let’s stop procrastinating with this intro and get into it!
Write lists. Literally, to do lists help me not fall apart and it feels SO GOOD TO tick something off the list (after you have done it of course). I have many things that I need to do and sometimes I do forget…BUT if I have a list on my wall, diary or phone, it is wayyy more likely to get done. But the thing is here that you need to remember to check that list to see what you need to do. Set alarms or reminders to help you if you always forget to check. Google Calendar is a great app that you can download for free to help remind you about appointments and etc!
HAVE A DIARY/CALENDER or BOTH. Well, not everyone has a photographic memory and can remember every single event, birthday and things they need to do. Well, my memory is like a goldfish..heh…so yeah I definitely depend on my diary to remind me of catch up with friends, bills to pay or important special days (like exams). It just helps you be a better person! Instead of that bad friend who forgets about your lunch date that you planned 1 year ago…
Have motivational posters around your room! This helps get you motivated and makes you remember WHY you are doing what you are. Be it exams…Remind yourself you want to become a DOCTOR or DENTIST and that’s why you have locked yourself in your room for 12 hours a day studying… Or if your goal is to get fit…maybe photos of your favourite athletes can help inspire you to get fitter. I think what we see often enough, will inspire us to be like that, especially when we feel like we aren’t getting anywhere and demotivated.
Think and remember your goals and learn how to break down the goals into small chunks! You can write this on a piece of paper and stick it on your wall, to remind yourself what you want to achieve in your lifetime. I like to have three types of goals: short, medium and long-term, which helps break down BIG goals into smaller and more achievable goals.
These goal types are pretty self-explanatory, short-term goals are like small steps to get started of things that I can do NOW to get to the next step..i..e. I want to become part of a hip-hop dance crew, but I don’t know how to dance…So I can either watch and learn from YouTube or sign up for a beginners hip hop class.
Medium goals are those that you can work on in the near future as a result of the short-term goals. I.e. I have finished and completed the beginners class for hip-hop and now I am in the intermediate class! I am not more confidence in showing off my dancing skills on YouTube or to friends… and I don’t look like a fool! You might even form an amateur dance crew for fun!
Long-term goals are those that might be in a few weeks, months or years. These are not achievable straightaway and involve an investment of lots of time, money and practice! So a long-term goal for this dancing thing is that you could audition and get accepted into a professional dance crew and perform in competitions and do performances professionally.
Use watches and alarms! It is important to try sleep and wake up at the same time each day. Efficient people never sleep in (on purpose)… They wake up each day EARLY and make the most of all the time they have while they are awake. They usually have a set morning routine each day to get them ready…they don’t lie in bed for two hours playing with their phone and then when they wake up to spend another two hours in bed watching Youtube (guilty as charged..). If you are tempted to use your phone in bed, time yourself so that you know exactly how much time you are wasting and feel guilty .. hahaha… it’s always good to be mindful of the time so that you can waste less time procrastinating and actually get things done son!
I am going to chuck in meditating in here …Just because…I am not sure about you, for me, it is really hard to sit there and do nothing and just breathe…It becomes easier as your practice it more…but yeah when I meditate I get reminded of all the stuff I NEED to do. So I make a mental note of everything I need to do post-meditation…usually, unless it’s super urgent like a tablet I forgot I needed to take. meditation is good for calming your mind and your anxiety levels. Definitely, recommend.
Have friends or family keep you accountable for the goals that you set out to do and help keep you on track. I am pretty guilty of trying to do too much or trying to run away from the important goals in my life… Sometimes I get put off by how big the mountain or hurdle is, that I want to run away and go down a slippery slope instead of climbing the mountain. But, I am lucky to have friends who remind me and encourage me not to give up and to keep climbing, because I have already climbed halfway. Thank you, friends!
Last but not least, take time to reward yourself and to reflect! Rewards could be anything! For example, you could study for 45 minutes and then give yourself 15 minutes break to do anything (timed of course). Or you could reward yourself with a healthy snack (or unhealthy). If you complete a bigger goal, like passing an exam, you might be able to reward yourself with new clothes or something you wanted to buy for ages…This is like almost bribing yourself to get off your ass and to stop procrastinating! It is also very important to reflect on how far you have come at regular intervals and I don’t think it is a bad thing to feel content and proud of how you far you have come! You might not be there, but at least you are going somewhere!
I hope that this post motivates you to think about something that you have been putting off…There is no better day than today to start!
SO what are you waiting for?
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Question: What is one goal in like that you have been procrastinating to do?