Money and Happiness?

So somehow at work today we came upon the discussion of how much one earns and their level if happiness.

One of the doctors was telling a patient about how he left his full time job at a public hospital and chose to instead work in Clinical Trials 3.5 days a week part-time.

The patient immediately asked him, do you work somewhere else on the rest of the days?

The doctor said, “No, 3.5 days is enough for me (they must earn a lot more than me..:()… he said,”I could work more, but earning more money wont make me more happy”. This doctor is one smart man, and I think he made a wise decision for himself. But, not everyone is lucky enough to be able to only work 3.5 days a week and have enough to live on…

Time to become a doctor..!!!

Let things not go to plan

How many people have imagined that they would be something, married someone, or gave birth to x number of kids by this time?

We only beat ourselves up when we haven’t followed to the tee our plans and visions for our lives.

I am super guilty of trying to plan and control all the variables of my life. I have used countless number of diaries, online calendars/apps, vision boards and basically notes things to do/achieve stuck just all over my room.

We all make our own timeline for ourselves, but so often than not… we don’t end up achieving said goals and we end up feeling upset at ourselves. We check facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and notice that everyone else is buying their “dream house”, getting hitched, having kids and just living a life that seems way more ahead and special than our own. We convince ourselves that we aren’t as good as them…

But I know how it feels to be the one envied.. I have friends overseas who only had my Facebook photos to see how I am and they think how “Happy” I looked in those photos I was tagged in… and how “Perfect” my life seemed. But little did they know, .. how that time I was actually anxious, stressed and burnt out. We paint the picture we want to show the world of how “good” our life seems… but it actually does more harm than good. People think we are fine, when we really aren’t.

In order to be more true to myself and to actually see how people are, instead of assuming…I stopped my use of those social networking websites that promote showing off the good side your life. Obviously, there are great benefits of these social networking sites and they are not “evil” or “bad” to use, but when we start comparing our lives to others on a daily basis and get upset, isn’t it time to give it a break and just start living your own life? That’s my own choice anyways…

My key take home message is..

Just live your own life in your own timeline and don’t worry about what anybody else is doing.

Leave the world in a better place than you found it

I read this sentence a farewell letter by a leaving University President- he said “I am glad I am leaving the University in a better state that I found it in”.

I have been meditating on these words and thinking how this could apply to all of us…in every situation… a goal that we could all strive for.

Can we challenge ourselves to leave the world that we live in, in a better state than we found it?

I certainly am up to this challenge…for example, in my work places…if I see problems, hazards, bullying,  and things that I could see can be improved, I do my best to try improve/do something about it.

I wasn’t always like this though, I used to think that things get better because it was other people’s responsibility to make it better.

I taught myself from a young age that I wasn’t a leader, I was just a mere follower. I never put my hand up to be an Student Representative or on any student boards, because I didn’t care enough about others. I expected things to come handed to me on a silver platter and wanted other people to do the hard work, the rallying, the change and take action.

I’ve slowly realised, even if you see yourself as a mere follower,  you are still a leader in your own way. Whether it is your influence on family, friends or colleagues around you, you still have influence. You don’t need to be the president of the United States of America or head of the student council to be someone that people want to follow.
Even when you train up a new employee or help someone, you are showing love, leadership and leading by example.  You can change the world in all different ways, whether its by recycling, finding ways to use solar power, saving water or cleaning up the environment…we can all do our bit, small and large. ..

I think I have gone slightly off tangent… BUT I hope you will join me in this journey of life, to not make it a selfish one, but one where we can leave this world in a slightly better place than we found it. 

50 Shades of Grey… thinking

Sometimes we tell ourselves things have to be a certain way or we won’t be and can’t be happy. People with OCD will understand what I mean…

This is an extremely unhealthy and unproductive way to think.

We tell ourselves things like,  “If only I get that job or promotion, then I will be happy” , “If only that girl/guy liked me then I could be happy“…If only …[insert desire thing here]…then I would be happy…:(

How long is your “happy” feeling going to last anyway?

We are basically just setting ourselves up for failure…with the thinking that we wont ever be “happy” until something we desire happens…Does that mean we are just going to be “unhappy” until we get that thing?

Why do people desire this temporary feeling of happiness? It is such a fleeting, fickle moment in time that simmers down and disappears in a matter of hours, days or maybe if we are lucky weeks.

As I think they say in physics, that if something goes up, then it must also come down.

After we get desired happiness, we are at a limbo…are we happy now? Are we content? Probably not…you probably already found something else to crave for/desire…

Having black and white thinking about our dreams, goals and ambitions is not a good thing..instead we should thinking of them as shades of grays.

Yes, it is good to have these dreams, goals and ambitions, but we shouldn’t let these things determine whether we are happy people. How about we aim for that goal, but if we don’t reach it we can still be content that we are not where we used to be?

Just because that job that you got didn’t turn out to be what you thought it would be, the relationship that you were so sure would end in marriage; ended breaking up, even if you took an entrance exam three times and failed every time…. it doesn’t mean that you failed… it doesn’t mean you cannot be happy now. 

Hey, be content. You have not reached your destination yet, but why not enjoy the journey? Who knows, you may even find a different path that is even greater than the one you had pictured for yourself.  Things don’t have to be black and white, they can be grey. Be kind to yourself,  give yourself permission to be happy now…enjoy the journey, because this journey is life long.

Happiness doesn’t fall upon you. It’s something that you actively have to choose to be, strive for, and work for. It is being aware that everything isn’t great now, but that you can be still content with where you are and know that you are going somewhere among the storm we call life. 

Try live life with a bit of grey in it.

Dating Apps In Real Life

How crazy/convenient would it be if dating apps were utilised in the everyday world?

Imagine you pass by someone attractive, you have no idea whether they think you are attractive as well… You want to know them better, but you aren’t sure if they are interested as well… You want to say hi, but you are afraid that they will think you are a creep!

How do you even know they are single and looking to mingle?

Well, a dating app -(sorta) help with that!

Imagine walking by someone attractive and being able to press a smiley button or swipe them right?

Imagine you guys sent each other smiles- next you are able to start a conversation without feeling it is creepy….!

How much easier would it be, or harder if the interactions we used online were to apply online…would we understand each other’s behaviours and emotions better?

If we could dislike something someone said…so that they don’t have to guess our opinion on a matter?

Would the world be a more straightforward place with people where people’s thoughts would come to life into real actions?

I don’t know, what are your thoughts?

The World of Work

I think, innately everyone desires to have a nice work place..A place where you look forward to seeing your colleagues, a place with nice patients/clients and a place where you feel safe.

When one or more of these things are not there, it can make it a very depressing and difficult time…especially if you work and spend extended periods of time in the same place with the same people.

Difficult Colleagues:

I’ve noticed when there is someone I don’t like at work, I do my best to avoid them. I know, I know it doesn’t solve all the issues. But, if I can run away from confrontation I will..try my best… to run away…

In the end, it doesn’t really matter (cue Linkin Park sound track)…very rarely does it solve the problem…but by being more confident, by standing up for yourself and doing something about it…things can change. Well, I least I do hope so.

Difficult Clients:

I’ve worked/working in a few workplaces that deal with extremely difficult clients, whether drug seekers, criminals or just mentally disturbed…it can be hard! I’ve had to call the police a few times, threaten to and just been scared for my life. I get it, it can be hard and sometimes you wonder…is it worth it? Feeling scared all the time going into work…to get mentally, physically or emotionally abused by clients?

I hate retail. You feel like you have to constantly suck up to your customers or they wont buy your stuff! You have to please them and they can kick a fuss about absolutely anything and I hate that word “The customer is always right”. Because they are not.

Unsafe Workplace:

Unsafe work places are just hazards just waiting to occur…This could be unsafe because of the machinery/equipment at work…like having boiling water all around  you…carrying steaming hot hotpots… or slicing numerous amounts of meats with a dull blade. Unsafe work places can’t be happy places… 😦 If people are constantly getting injured or being affected by the toxic (literally) unsafe work place, it can’t be a very happy place to work in in my opinion.

 

Good workplaces can be a extremely hard thing find, so if you do find one, stick to it!

Otherwise, start your own business and work for yourself 😉

Kid vs Adult mindsets

I’ve been reflecting upon the difference in thinking of when I was child and in comparison to now (I was about to say when I was an adult…–..–“)

I am going to put my thoughts on what a kid Joy might have thought and what an adult Joy might think.

On finding their ideal partner:

KID : I want to fall in love with a tall, handsome, rich blonde eye blue eye man with a six pack. He will also have a golden retriever and possibly be a prince.

ADULT: I just want to find someone who will accept me for who I am and how I look and act. That accepts the way I look like slob that I am at home and when I have no make up on…

On Beauty:

KID : I wanna look like an adult…I wanna make my skin super white and cover up every blemish..! I wanna do eyeliner to make me look older…fake lashes..permed hair and red lipstick..high heels…

ADULT: OH GAWD I need to buy this expensive as MAC primer, blue and BB cream to make my face look like it has no make up…! Actually, stuff this…rather just be insecure about myself, how about I just learn to love and accept myself for who I am and stop wanting an ideal version of me that I will never assatain?

On Fast FOOD:

KID : Mum said I can have Maccas if I don’t cry when I get my flu vaccination! I can’t wait..it’s sooo rare we get maccas! I am so excited. Filet-o-fish here we come!!

ADULT: OH GAWD this is the 3rd time I’ve been to maccas this week..! #$#$ I wish I had time to eat better food..?!?! Why does maccas have to be the closest restaurant to work?!?! Time to diet T_T

On Doggos:

KID : OMG I WANT A DOG PLZ CAN I HAVE A DOG PLZ . I promise to take it on walks everyday and pick up all its sheet!

ADULT: OMG I want a dog. BUT I don’t have the time to look after the dog at the moment. I want to be a responsible dog owner. T_T

On cars:

KID : I CAN’T WAIT TILL I TURN 16 and get my Ls! OMG I can finally drive! I am going to go out everyday and party! Finally I will be come a social butterfly and be the most popular girl in my friendship group! I am going to pick up all my friends in my mums car..ohohoho

ADULT: FML . I don’t wanna drive in this #$#$ heavy peak hour traffic. SIGH why didn’t I catch a bus? Why can’t someone drive me? Why do I have to pick up ______ again? DAMMIT this car… OH SHEET petrol is so expensive again..FML this car is so expensive to maintain…OH WAIT rego is due again..there goes another $760…and oh no service next month..$400++ oh sigh. Why is it so expensive to keep a car? I rather a dog instead. lols. woof.

On shopping:

KID : NOOooo I don’t wanna go shopping with you mum its soo boring…@@

ADULT: Oh gawd…I can’t stop buying things on eBay.com and amazon…HOW DID I SPEND SO MUCH MONEY?!?!?!

On SLEEP:

KID : NOoooooo I don’t wanna sleep! Its only 9pm!!!!!!! I wanna stay up and read my book…I wanna talk with my friends..I wanna…eat….

ADULT: I am so sleep deprived. I just want a day to do nothing but sleep.
FML I only get 5 hours of sleep if I sleep straight away..! SIGH why do I have to get up so early for work everyday. I am so tired…all the time..I am addicted to caffeine.

and last but not least…

On Work/dreams:

KID : I can’t WAIT TO GET A JOB and earn money! Then I won’t have to rely on the merger amount of money that I get free from my parents! I CAN’T WAIT TO BECOME AN ADULT…

ADULT: FML . I wanna quit my job. it’s too stressful, it wasn’t what I imagined it would be, the other staff are bullies, the pay sucks, the patients suck, my hours suck, my life sucks. I am depressed. OH GOD I NEED A HOLIDAY. STAT. Why does working life suck so much? Why does being an adult suck so much …can I be a kid again?

OH lol this isn’t all true! Just for lols…hahah I was just thinking…about how much we change huh? If we think about who we used to be as kids and who we are now, would we tell ourselves? It’s like we are two completely different people that have existed.

Is there anything that you’ve noticed that has changed in your perception of life from when you were a kid and has changed now that you are an adult? If you want to, please leave your comments on those things below!

Take care,

Joy to the World~

 

Time to get that 5.3 hours 13 minutes and 2 seconds of sleep….

Learning to let people down

Letting people down can be extremely hard for those with low self-confidence…this is my story

Continuing in the same mindset as my last post…I want to reiterate the fact that kindness is not a weakness…it is something that makes the world go round …but it comes to a point that..,you have to decide..that you have had enough. And it is time to stop people walking all over you. Whether you speak up in words, actions or in plans…just step up. 

 

Essentially we have to let people down. Because if we always say yes. Then of course they will continue to walk all over you, why? because you are basically grovelling at their feet.

 

I hate it when people say the words, “But XXX always does it this”. Well, la-di-da that;s them and I am me. I do things my way.

At the work place I do some locus work for, the clients are so used to getting a chewing gum after each dose that they receive… this chewing gum is not provided by the clinic but is something the normal pharmacist provides out of her own pocket. She is awesome right? But when she goes on leave for 3 weeks, does that mean I have to also follow her actions and buy gum for her? She was spoiling them….she would have had to go through at least 3 packets of gums/DAY for all their clients and their kids…

I know the pharmacist there always said yes to everything the nurses and doctors asked of her..even when she had shut down the computer and locked everything away…but is that what I have to do?

Well, to be honest I did…I did it for how many weeks, months ? at the other locations..I would stat well over 2 hours past the time I got paid to..

Then I remember a friend saying, when they do over time..without getting paid…it is like slavery.. modern day slavery…or volunteer work. I don’t understand how people, who know that you finish at 12…you stopped getting paid at 12…expect you to stick around…just so that they have less work to do…they don’t even ask if you are leaving…they present to you new clients at 12:15 and expect you to dose them..? Really?

Will you pay me out of your own pocket?

I am not trying to sound ungrateful or not be a team player. I just don’t understand how someone can make me feel so bad for actually leaving on time (even 10 minutes after finish time)…for the first time in forever?

Why did you make me feel so guilty and act like that? I am sorry if you didn’t tell me to prepare a late dose…am I supposed to wait around until things happen and then I get to leave? After12, it is your responsibility  to dose…you know the times…just coz the previous pharmacist was too nice and lenient..doesn’t mean I have to be ..

 

Anyways, awkwardly I left. Glad that I am not planning to go back soon. I drive 1.5 hours a day to get there for a lousy three hour shift. It is so freaking hot these days too. I am grateful that I get to meet up a good friend from uni there for lunch every now and then…I am also able to visit the Elizabeth crew there as well…the shopping is great. But if you asked me to cover there again, no thank you. In terms of my own mental health, drowsiness from the drive and waste of petrol..and work place issues..no thank you. I am good.

I am finally deciding for myself that I can no longer do seven days a week on end. I am just so tired…headaches ..migraines…why try chase more money?

To be honest, the more money I seem to earn./..the more I spend and hence this viscous cycle…I am going to earn less next month, but save more…I will have to budget better, eat at home more , meal prep and think about what I spend my money on more carefully. Because I really can’t afford to collapse or crash my car out of tiredness and lethargy.

I know I push myself too far..and too much…I hate letting people down..it just eats away my soul…and bothers me so much I have to blog about it!

but, I have to start somewhere and today I let down that nurse and that doctor, and yes they may hate me. but, I hope they also learn to respect that my time is valuable as well and that I am not just someone to be trampled and walked on.

Just gotta learn that we will let people down…

Have a Jolly Joy-some day~

p e a c e

Tortoise and the Hare

At the gym I go to, they were still open 24/7 over the Christmas/New Period but they stopped running the live classes…

This was a real struggle for me … as I force myself o go to the gym for those classes… so I really had no incentive to go…so I went like once a week.. and that’s mainly coz I am cheap and I hated seeing my membership fees being deducted from my bank account and realising they are getting free money…

Anyways, what I am trying to say is… I normally do not do weights and cardio work out by myself… I am someone highly motivated by having people around me working hard…hence love those classes…!

So I went to the gym twice over the holiday period.. On the first visit..I went on the treadmill… I was like .. hmmm this sure looks like a good way to get my 10,000 steps on my fitbit..!! So I started off slow 4.5km/hour speed.. up to 8.0km/h (not fast I know)… did that for about a minute or so (seriously out of breath…unfit 😦 ) and them took a bit of a break by slowing down to 4.5 km/h just to get recover my breath… coz tired..!! I did this for 20minutes… and was super tired.. I managed to do 2km distance in that 20minutes! Not bad..? For me 😂

On the second visit.. I was feeling really lethargic of late ( prob due to iron deficiency).. and I decided I wouldn’t do those speed intervals because the sprinting really takes the wind out of me… but I also hate walking really slow on the treadmill😭 I am a pretty fast walker…probably due to the fact I work in a lot of faced-paced environments where I cannot walk slow :(.. so I set it at a constant speed of 6.5km/hour.. so mid way between what I did in my first visit…

And it was great .. I didn’t have to constantly look at the little time and have to keep changing the speeds on the right up and down.. and I didn’t feel as exhausted and worn out at the end of 10 minutes.. And I did the same…! At the end .. I got the same result. 1km/10 minutes essentially!

But this way.. was better..easier and didn’t tire me out…

it was interesting how I feel like that can relate to me and how I have been living my life… I go through periods of extreme stress .. leading to anxiety, depression and mental breakdowns…to a point where I can’t take it amy more.. then I am forced to rest… my body shuts down in sickness .. and thats when I recover.. start to remember my health and my sanity again…

The reason why I’ve been working so hard for the last six months with no break (literally working 7 days a week for I am not sure how many weeks it is now)… is because I felt I was so behind in life… in comparison to my friends… those my age are getting married, have moved overseas to work… buying houses.. doing all this exciting stuff and what I feel is “adult” stuff.. and there was me… who blew my savings recklessly on an expensive holiday overseas… and on some scam medicine entrance exam course….I felt I needed to catchup by working myself to almost death -? Because I am so tired all the time, worn out… burnt out… sick so often and can’t even relax…get irritable… can’t eat properly.. don’t have time or energy to see friends…

I am asking myself..? Why do I meed to do all this sprinting to try catch up to everyone else? I am just going o get exhausted and need a really good rest-where I might have to stop work altogether for s break… because if I am constant with myself.. mot too much.. not too little.., I can reach that end goal without over exerting myself.. and still enjoy a good work out that is life…

Thanks for reading my weird analogies o life.. i literally wrote this at 4am because I woke up with blood running down my face from my nose… oops

Stay Joyful guys!

The evolution of the online dating<3

I would not call myself a trendsetter, or even someone that possesses the latest piece of technology..it was just by chance that when I needed a new laptop and was planning to get a MAC-the new MacBook Air came out..so I was like why not? *shrugs sheepishly*

ANYWAYS, online dating websites and apps have been around for ages…meeting people online (think Tinder, Ok CUPID, East meets East, bumble..) has always been a thing, but it still has such a stigma attached to it…because half-remembered quote from “Ralph Wrecks the Internet” – When something new comes along, the best thing for people to do is to fear it”.. something like that!

So..if we go back 18 years to when I was 10 years old (age reveal) and I made my first hotmail address which was something like sugar*****10@hotmail.com ..we used to all use something called MSN messenger! This is where online chats and adding random people on the internet became the new trend..suddenly …you could be whoever you wanted to be..!    You could change your name to Blonde_Hunk_with_Blue_Eyes or Sexy_Asian Chick_that_looks_like_Mulan_and find some random picture on the internet and pretend it was you…then you can proceed to what we now call “Cat fish” random strangers on the internet and pretend you are the love of their life, when you are NOT. True story, I have to confess my sister and I might have been chatting up a “young girl” and pretending to be a sexy blue-eyed blonde haired Australian lifeguard…but anyways…

This is before the world started caring so much about verified identity and privacy…when people said the internet was bad! Because young girls were being baited by old men behind the screens posing as handsome men, when in reality, for me it was the other way round.

I still remember playing Neopets obsessively for a period of time during my primary school days… and I also made friends on those guild websites..one guy called Ryan helped me build a website for my Naruto Guild…Another girl obsessed with Naruto, called Tiffany told me about her home town Canada, and at that young age I decided I would go to Canada to visit. It made the world suddenly seem smaller. I looked up the sky one day and thought to myself, somewhere on the other side of the world, perhaps in Canada, someone else is staring at the same sky.

In summary, the online digital world is changing…and why shouldn’t the way we meet people change as well? We can meet people not online in our proximity but interesting people all over the world with many fascinating stories…why limit yourself to those around you? What is to say that it safer to date and meet someone at a bar, where you know nothing about them in comparison to a guy you have been talking to for weeks online (and you’ve stalked their fb and insta to make sure they are who they say they are)..?

Why is there stigma surrounding online dating?

I realised myself, I have been really afraid to tell people I joined dating apps and I only told a few people. They didn’t judge..but I can see it in their eyes..When they asked, where did you guys meet?

Online is where we meet people with similar interests, buy stuff off them or find study groups…we’ve all done it before…there are actual people behind those screens…its not robots and they aren’t all serial killers.

 

But in saying that, it is always a good idea to let people know you are meeting someone online, have your phone on you (GPS on) and meet in a public place in day time…and make sure you have your own transport home and scapegoat excuses if you need to leave early… But yes, only meet after making sure that person is legit!! Stalk their fb…ask around and play detective. The more information the better…people that are real will act real, they won’t be ‘perfect’ you know? You will know…

 

I knew one happily married couple who met online like over 10 years ago..I’ve always assumed that that was a abnormality…I never asked what website..but I had my reservations..but hey..it worked..

 

But..I’ve always been somewhat traditional…I prefer writing traditional Chinese to simplified, I like writing and sending letters and cards than emails and I love receiving hand-written and made things…But at the same time, I am always open to trying new things that can make your life more interesting, better, and more efficient.

SO probably a ,year ago I decided to revisit my hobby when I was 10. I made an account on a dating website, but since I felt so ashamed-and didn’t want to get found out… and just wanted to try it for fun ( I wanted to see which other people I knew also used it!! haha) …I put a fake name..but being a but stupid I put a real photo (filters and stuff) on there..DOH..someone I kinda knew saw it and told a friend of mine…and I was found out…felt so guilty LOL..Coz fake name..I think I MAY or may not have also put some interests, languages and changed my ethnicity that was not true *Cough cough*..guilty as charged….but I am still the one behind the screen right? I am still real…but maybe not being as honest as I should…aint a good start to any relationship…

I talked to a few people..but the only one I almost met -some doctor from Melb- flaked at the last second…saying he was sick. I think it may have been due to the fact I invited two other people to join us for dinner (for our first meeting)….LOL yes I am super noob…I don’t do online dating remember ? Anyways,,, after that I was like screw this and deactivated the account.

Meeting people in real life is easier….or is it? Maybe it is for people that go out heaps…That enjoy partying, clubbing or whatever..but what about those introverts?

Those who hate loud music and don’t drink (or do drugs)! Also, they don’t really like meeting new people because it takes a lot of effort to make small talk.. and plus shy too. Yeah…fine… okay, people like me…to me…online dating feels safer,  I feel like I have more control…I get to find out a bit about these people online and ALSO you know that they are looking (most of the time) for a relationship too…and if they just want hookups-it’s usually written conveniently on their bio too..so you can swipe left for them -unless that’s what you want.

Suddenly you have an option to find the type of person you are looking for,  depending on what app.website you new using..it could be due to physical attributes (like height, ethnicity or body type..) or due to common interests… It’s interesting…because don’t you hate meeting someone new...and finding out that you have absolutely nothing in common and you don’t know what to talk about?

That’s me…I just…talk about the weather..yes lame..

ANYWAYS…to be honest, in my past relationships…at the start..it was always friendship and getting to know each other more online -through facebook messenger/watsapp/text a lot more than meeting up…

There is always a risk that you will get ghosted (ignored) by potential new connections..and it does hurt ..ALOT.. but if they ghosted you, it doesn’t reflect anything on you- it’s them with the problem…it is polite to let someone know if you aren’t interested instead of leading them on.

There is a risk of being cat-fished…I mean …people age right? Some people I know put photos of them 10 years earlier…when they were skinny and handsome…WHEREAS when they finally send a recent photo they are about three times wider around the middle, acquired glasses and lost some hair…YES u know what I mean..

In my opinion now..some tips on online dating (not that I am a pro)

If you are really serious about online dating, dare to be yourself. There is no point in trying to be someone else…because if you are there to meet your soul mate, don’t you want them to accept you for who you are and not what they think you are?

it is tiring pretending to be someone else that you aren’t. trust me… I learnt this the hard way.

They will eventually find out anyways!!

 

No point putting up a fake picture and then disappointing them when you meet up, if you don’t like being deceived , don’t do the same!

GO Dutch – don’t let one person pay for everything..esp on the first date ..because the person paying might feel like you are just there for a free meal…and the one receiving may feel obligated to be kind to them because they paid….I personally don’t like people I don’t know well paying for me…I’ve always been told by my mother..unless they are your boyfriend-never let them pay for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!SO yeah, go half and if it doesn’t work out, don’t need to feel bad for the =meal they paid for!

Not sure about you, but funny people are more approachable than people who seem too mean or serious.

I legit saw a bio where the guy was saying how he was still there because he still hadn’t found love…but he paid for 3 month subscription…it sounded like he had bad experience with online dating… he was like- no flakey people-no people who just want to be friends and aren’t looking for a relationship (wth-rood?) AND he also said that he wont pay for the first meal and that they will go dutch. I think he said at least THREE times that he only wants people who want serious relationships…

I think this dude is just too serious…man…you be scaring off and putting off any girl…I dunno…I felt like he was judging everyone else for being gold digging hoes or something…

Anyways,

In conclusion, while there are both pros and cons to the world of online dating- I do believe it is very useful for helping people meet other people that they normally wouldn’t in their normal circle of friends.
It is still very important to think about safety, privacy , and mannerisms when meeting people online for the first time, but with careful planning, research and getting to know the other person, I believe it can be a very rewarding experience. I think and hope in 10 years now, meeting people online will be the norm and not be stigmatised.

These are my own opinions and thoughts and I know everyone may have different views…

 

Joy and Peace to you and if you have any thoughts and opinions on online dating, please let me know below 🙂

 

Have a good day!

How to deal with rude people

If you work in retail or in any work place where you need to deal with “people”… a “good day” can easily become a “bad day” with just one misbehaving or rude person you encounter

I am not sure about you, but I was having a pretty OKAYish day trying to deal with being at work…then this “atrocity” of a person…comes in and personally acts very rude to me.

 

As he was a new client to my work place and only staying a short time, I didn’t bother telling anyone about it.

But, I just felt…so tempted not to do my job..it is people like him that really make me hate my job and just quit sometimes. There can be 39 clients that don’t make trouble..but it takes JUST ONE rude one..who tells you to “Hurry up”. and does not listen to what you have instructed them to do when you made it so clear to them and…then has the indecency answers their phone in front of you and tells the person on the phone that there is “An annoying lady who won’t let him leave”. while staring at you. Then when you say something back, they tell you “Stop eavesdropping”. Mate. You Obviously did that in front of my to try piss me off. We are in a dosing room, no one else there. Can I honestly NOT hear your comment?

FFS., Just thinking about it makes me soo angry.

There were so many things I wanted to say or do…why is it that in this sort of jobs, we have to take this abuse? Is it worth the money you get paid for?

I sometimes ask myself this…is this what you dignity, mental health and motivation to work is worth?

Getting harassed by someone who is ungrateful and rude, whom your job is to help them..it is SO hard..

I was really really not happy. I talked to the manager that normally works there on the phone..and she said, You can refuse to help them. You can refuse to dose someone. I’ve never had the guts to refuse to dose someone on the basis that they have been rude to me…it is far more scary for me to refuse them and make them angry. I honestly fear for my life sometimes..I get so paranoid every time I go in and out of work. Looking left and right before running to my car and locking the doors.

It’s hard though. I don’t want to provoke someone even further or cause trouble for other staff. But, where does my rights and limitations go up to? How much do I have to put up with?

These are the things that health professionals go through daily. We want to help YOU, but you (not you, but you know that rude person) want to make our lives harder.

It makes me into someone not as happy and that anger passes on through me to get angry even more easily when some clients, come OUT of hours…past the dosing time and the time that I am supposed to get paid for…and expect you to dose them.

I am in the midst of trying to grow more resilient and more assertive. At the same time, I don’t want to come off as rude or standoffish. I don’t know why, one part of me wants to be their best-friend…but the other knows that they can stab me in the back anytime.

I am not sure what works…being so lenient and nice to them, so that they walk all over you. Or being unapproachable, not being able to have a good transparent relationship with them?

I am not there for long…but it makes work a real ..struggle town..knowing who you have to deal with and not having/knowing who to ask for help..

Anyways, the point of this post was to give some ways that you can help alleviate the anger that rises when faced with rude clients/patients.

 

  1. Just remember, they will be gone soon and you don’t have to spend the rest of the day with them-hopefully.
  2. Remember they are just one of many clients you have and like a bag of chocolates, you never know which one you will get. (Misquoted from Forest Gump)
  3. Just try to smile and be the bigger person and tell them politely what they are doing that makes you feel upset.
  4. IF they try to get back at you even more, use some empty threats (or real)…like for example, you don’t have to serve them if you feel you are in danger…i.e. Can call security guard (if you have one) or the police (which I have done before).
  5. Just remember, they purposely desire a reaction of you, they want to see how far they can push you. This is where you have to learn to stick up for yourself. If you let them bully you once, they will do it again! This is a reflection and is a representation of their personality/behaviour and is not indicative of the type of person that you are. They are throwing their insecurities/bad stuff on you…but that doesn’t make you bad.
  6. Make it clear what the rules are from the start. Tell them so that they have no excuse next time, make a sign to put right in front of them or make it a rule to reiterate it each time.
  7. It is important to document what you said and what happened. I think there are incident reports that you can write online..I didn’t do one today, but I might write it up tomorrow. Documentation is your friend. Because…you never know when you might need to recount something that happened.
  8. Put on your best FAKE smile and still try to say thank you when you leave…got this online…KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS (like that song). While I failed with this today…there is always next time. I am sure I will get numerous opportunities to grow in these skills.
  9. Reflect on what you can do better next time…what can be improved? Should we have a sign to say that they must wait a certain time? To make it crystal clear? The old clients know the rules, the new ones are more cocky and despite you tell them, they will try bend or break the rules.
  10. Make sure you tell someone about it…I guess the only way that change can happen is to let those working around you to be aware of it too. It helps when they know that their bad behaviour was not swept underneath the counter but that you reported it. When bullies get found out, they lose their power.

 

I am not sure 100% of these things will work, but it did help me to realise, that there are some things you can do in the midst of a difficult challenging scenario. Of course, safety is very important especially in these sort of scenarios. Provoking people is very dangerous..Just gotta do your best and put on a fake smile and bitch about it later on your blog.

Stay Strong

Why procrastinators love New Years

Well, if you are a fellow procrastinator like myself, you will definitely relate to this post…New Years is almost upon us, and I wanted to make sure I did this post before the change in years…because I have a feeling I might forget/laze out before writing it..

I love writing, but I also love procrastinating. In an almost viscous cycle of events for self-sabotage..it’s like the more we procrastinate, the more we love it. Love doing nothing.

The last few days before New Year’s, it the BEST time to procrastinate. The washing that needs to be done, the house that needs to be cleaned, the car that has an infestation of spiders (eek) and the weight that needs to be lost from that overindulgence of chocolate and sweets over Christmas season? I’ll do it next year! Why do we love this phrase? Because, Next year sounds so freaking far away! It won’t come that soon right? Tomorrow, Next week, Next Month…these sounds close and real, but next year? That only happens about 100 times in an average human (if you are lucky/unlucky to live that long). So many times I find myself putting things off, because NEXT YEAR sounds like a good time to start.

Supposedly, I have tricked myself into thinking that I  will wake up and suddenly want to and feel motivated to start studying…to start planning, saving and being more disciplined to go to the gym again… But, unfortunately for us procrastinators, I know too well…that that won’t be the case.

We got to, and can make a decision today (or tomorrow, or next week…) that we will do thing that we need to do. Because, next year is literally around the corner. :O

If we pile too many “resolutions, goals and tasks” to do “next year”, we will most likely feel overwhelmed with the sheer amount of things to do, we might end up doing nothing…but stressing out.

I hope every has Happy New Year! May you be safe, happy and get enough sleep for your soul.

Cheers to a year where we will (hopefully) procrastinate less.

Be Joy-filled.

 

Anyways, I will just reward myself for writing this post with a quick 30 minutes episodes of “Love at First Swipe-” BY Jinny Boy………….then I will get on with…….

Have yourself a melancholic Christmas

How many times did you say “Merry Christmas” to the people around you this year? Online, on cards and God forbid maybe IN PERSON. For the majority of the year we rarely seem to use the word Merry and then suddenly bam December hits us and we using that word like no tomorrow.

According to google, merry means ..

merry
/ˈmɛri/
adjective
cheerful and lively.
“the streets were dense with merry throngs of students”
synonyms: cheerful, cheery, in good spirits, high-spirited, blithe, bright, sunny, light-hearted, buoyant, bubbly, lively, carefree, without a care in the world, joyful, joyous, rejoicing, jolly, jocund, convivial, festive, mirthful, gleeful, happy, glad, laughing;

Well I ain’t the Grinch, but excuse me, why must we Cheerful and lively during this season?

Are we not allowed to be sick, sad and lonely during this time?

I bet you, there are people who hate Christmas…not only the grinch…but others. This time can represent a time where they realise they are alone, just like how singles hate Valentines day -because it is a remember that they are alone. Christmas is a bit worse, because it is a public holiday, there is nothing to do. Where you still have to work on Valentines Day, Christmas is like…is like the worst time to be alone… People ask you what your plans are? What are you going to do? Did you buy your presents yet?

…What is you don’t have family? Or friends? Or anyone to spend Christmas with?

What if you cannot afford to buy any gifts for those around you? You can’t afford to have a feast..because heck you don’t even have a place to stay.

Christmas is not always a Happy time.

It is more like a temporary fix.. where you can pretend all is well, but it actually isn’t.

So sorry for not spreading Christmas cheer this season, but spreading awareness…It ain’t always jolly good.

On a side note, I liken Christmas to be the birthday of Jesus..however often we forget to invite the birthday boy to our parties…so we hold empty parties , celebrating the birthday of someone who isn’t even present. We forgot to invite the main attraction.

Anyways,

Hope your Christmas was good, but if it wasn’t, that is okay too 🙂

Joy to the World~

Life without screens

I know I blab on and on about technology, so bear with me as I explore further the topic of technology and society.

Recently it has just occurred to me, what did people do..before they had phones, laptops and televisions?

Recently at work, there was a young girl and I asked her, “What will Santa get you for Christmas this year?”

She said, “A new phone case”.

I was momentarily shocked… What does a seven year old kid need a mobile phone for ?!?! I never had a phone until I was well into my 10th grade of high school …or something like that..

It is a little bit sad, that the generation growing up now are going to be permanently joined to their phones.

There will be so many skills that they will not have to learn anymore, because the phone and the screens can do it all.

Gone are those navigational road map books…GPS is instant and probably MUCH more safer than looking through a book. To be honest, I can’t even read a map if I tried. My phone GPS didn’t work the other day and I realised, I had no idea what were the name of the roads I had driven upon…thousands of times… We have become so reliant on technology, we cannot even tell the time anymore…If we don’t have a watch, a phone or some other screen telling us what day or time it is.

Wouldn’t it be funny, or cool if a glitch in the internet moved everyone 1000 years into the future and everyone would have thought they time travelled because all the technology has left forward into the future?

I was waiting (semi-patiently) for someone to arrive the other day…I thought to myself, if I didn’t have a phone on me, what would I be doing instead? Back in the days…when people were waiting..did they bring books? Newspapers? Cassettes?

Or did they just sit there and pay attention to what was happening around them? Before lights were invented, did people just go to sleep earlier when the sun had set?

So many things to think about..

We can’t even travel properly without technology..it would take days and days of travel to get to Adelaide to Melbourne,…yet now we can get there and back within an hour.

Gone are the days we can do things by ourselves, spell, calculate, read maps ..because we have technology is there.

But can technology replace the doctor by your bedside? The robotic person answering your emergency without emotion? The one that sings autotuned at your wedding?

Anyways, apologies for this rambling post.

My new laptop recently locked me out and malfunctioned, so I had to wait around apple shop for two hours getting it reformatted. Oh dear God, cannot even write properly without my beloved laptop.

Laptop is back and running…! I am hoping it won’t happen again 😦 This is my portal to the world that helps me to share my ideas and thoughts to the world and plus I cannot spell without my autocorrect.

Love and Joy this Christmas Season to you