Catch 22 – Research Projects

When you start investigating and looking into doing research, unfortunately you will affect the circumstances that you are in.

Research has not been my strong point or forte unfortunately… I just get overwhelmed, bored, and tired of doing research. Unfortunately, as part of my residency position, I will have to complete a research project. Coming up with a project hasn’t been that difficult, but implementation and designing. Holy shit. So hard..🥲🥲🥲it’s almost been a year, yet I still haven’t been able to even start my project yet. Getting ethics has been a major road block… there are so many hurdles to jump through even before I can even go through to ethics… As a resident, my project has to go through the Education committee before going to the Research Committee, and then finally after they all disseminate my Research Expression of Interest.. then can finally go to the Ethics Committee 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲 just too hard if you ask me.

It sucks now.. the waiting game before starting the Research.. but I suppose in a years time… maybe I will be pretty happy with where I have ended up? Perhaps I would have finished/close to finishing my research project..

WHO KNOWS

Am I going to make a difference in the world? Maybe not?

I love my project… yet I also hate it with passion. How I long to be a normal employee without all the additional responsibilities, research, and expectations… Yet, I know this is a stepping stone for something greater. Something better. Who knows

My constant battle with Iron Deficiency

Ever since I was young, since I started my period, my iron levels have always swung up and down. This may have been attributed to the monthly blood loss and also due to the fact I refused to red meat from the age of 10. I started eating meat again at age 20, as by that time I had stopped menstruating for around 6 months…and on advice of our local doctor, i.e. my scary Aunty… I was semi coerced to start eating meat again.

I still remember my first meal that had meat. Wok in the box stir fry. Tastes like shitty rubber imo. It felt disgusting. Why do people like meat? But if I wanted to become ‘normal’ I had to do this….

Eventually it got better… chicken was easier to eat… and pork was not had as well.. it felt good to not be the odd one out at All you can Eat Korean BBQs, buffets, and random dinners at friend’s houses… I didn’t want to be rude and not eat the food given to me.. I just sort of brushed the food aside. Back then, not many people were into ‘Vegetarian’ or Vegan diets, aside those who were for religious reasons.

Anyways, I digressed too much. The moral of the story is that I kind of ate what my mum cooked at home… and yeah it meat most of the time. But since moving out, I realised now I am in charge of my own diet and I can eat what I want. I really tried to imitate what we ate at home.. beef mince, pork…but I soon realised.. I am no chef and secondly, I honestly don’t like the texture of meat. I don’t know how to cook it … so I might as well stick with what I can cook well and go back to my mainly plant-based and seafood diet. This is my forte.. my fridge is full of basically 70% veggies, 10% Protein (Fish and Tofu), 20% carbs.

And hence, I would not be surprised at all when I am due for my next blood test to check my iron levels… that it is most likely to be low. :(.

I do not want to take supplements as I had many side effects such as black Tarry stools from them… EWW. TMI? Not enough imo!! Hmmm if its really bad, maybe I can request an iron infusion?

I guess it depends on the blood test 😔😔

In others news, I have started a new segment on my podcast about the quick meals that you can cook with your microwave..see link below:

It is okay to have burger rings for breakfast

…every now and then anyways.

Woke up feeling shi* this morning with a splitting headache… my mouth has been super dry lately and I suspect it had something to do with the Asthma Preventative Inhalers I take… I do rinse my mouth out after each use.. but I still managed to get something called Oral Thrush 😦 thus is basically a fungal infection of the mouth which causes your tongue and maybe the side of your cheeks to become white and patch.. and for me … it’s hard to swallow and in addition to that I have several mouth ulcers…

I don’t think I’ve been taking care of myself as well as I should… it’s hard. We are in the middle of a pandemic and in stage four lock down in Melbourne… I have to follow by the rules.. and that means only been able to eat and drink during designated break times… which often ai will skip if it is too busy. Stress sucks :(.

But anyways, I digress. So I was feeling shi* this morning and because I woke up several times in the night.. I slept in till about 11am? My mouth was super dry and I was always thirsty, even though I drank water! My appetite wasn’t there anymore… I just craved something soft and tasty. I looked in my cupboard.. and ALAS. The Burger Rings which I got on sale for $1 at Woolies.

Should I? It’s breakfast for goodness sake…. screw if. Imma adult now and if I want to have Burger rings for breakfast .. I am going to have it. For those who might not know, Burger Rings are these ring shaped (clearly) orange/brownish delicious snacks packed with Burger Flavour (whatever that is). They are sooo addictive and tasty. I demolished a whole bag 🤣🙃. Guilty pleasure. Yup. Did it hurt my ulcers? Yup. Was it good for me? Nope. Do you think I would do it again?. Yup. But everything in moderation and I don’t have any left anyways..

Anyways, I better sleep.. big day tomorrow ..training is over and the real Residency starts. Wish me luck and also please remind me to buy some oral anti fungal drops…!

P.S. cover photo is of the Japanese Curry I cooked today which I will eat for the next few days 🤣🤣🤣

Mask wearing evaders

I went for a walk today and saw a man standing still, not wearing a mask, and using his phone. I try to evade him, he is clearly not exercising but is wearing sports gear as if he was. Lame. Mask evaders, hope he gets fined.

I guess if anyone is caught outside not exercising, they could always just say they are going grocery shopping.

Where are the social distancing police when you need it? :0.

Other than that, the situation seems to be getting better. I ordered Uber Eats for the first time!! Since buying frozen eel…I am obsessed with eel.. it’s so delicious. 🤤 I finally got paid on Thursday! I guess this is my small private celebration 🎉..

Podcast Updated!

Super tired today.. but thought I would let you know I’ve updated my podcast!!! Yesterday night none the less.. may explain why I am exhausted today. Mondayitis. It’s a real thing.

https://anchor.fm/matoko-matsumoto/episodes/Working-in-Melbourne–Part-2-eisa4e

^ click above

Adulting Milestones and fails

So, I spent the whole night yesterday on a wet mattress protector and hence I had a pretty uncomfortable sleep…My only quilt cover was not dry either..despite a whole day of being under the heater…my electricity bills gonna be so high :(. Gonna really try not to open the heater today.. :(. I was super mindful that I don’t want to sweat too much coz my quilt is gonna get dirty! So much stress TT. I have opened the windows and continue to dry the sheets and quilt cover on my makeshift clothes airer…

Next time, I think it will be ideal to not do all of them at the same time and do it in batches…coz,, yeah it doesn’t dry that well in the dryer..probably doesn’t get clean that much.

I’ve been trying to figure out how I can buy one week of groceries at one time. it seems so redundant that I have to make several trips to the stores in one week…and now with COVID, I am trying to do click and collect more often…however, I always seem to forget something…and then I have to wait till next time to get it..and by then I would have forgotten something else.

Other than that, I have officially almost spent an entire week living by myself and interacting with literally no one asides from the grocery unpacker when I click and collect. I am super cautious about those people too…lol…last time I did click and collect, they just left the product in a trolley and let me take it out myself. This time the kind man opened my boot and put it in bags for me in. Whilst that was very kind of him, he could have just left it there for me to pack…Because after that I had to sanitise my boot handle, bags, and everywhere he might have touched. 😦 You know..just in case.

BUT on a side note, I got for half price a set of 10 containers for only $12.50! WOOHOO. can’t wait to label them and fill them up with stuffs.. xD

img_1112

Laundry Diasters

I have literally spent the whole day at home…I told myself, “no shopping today!” And so I decided to wash my bedsheets and bedding… yeah, a little early I know!! I just moved in last week.. but anyways, I watched a video about how to clean your mattress and.. I couldn’t help washing them aswell, since I had to take them off anyways… sooo 2 hours into the washing machine on “bedding mode” and then another 2.5 hours in the dryer.. I suspect I overloaded the machine.. coz it was still super wet after I took it out of the dryer… so I had to use my brain and figure out how to dry everything in my room with it’s limited space and only the single clothes airer. Just FYI I don’t have a private balcony and it’s been raining all day here :(. I turned on the heater and set the linen as in this photo..

Three hours later, it’s still as damp as ever.. I ‘ve used the beloved Dyson hairdryer on the matress protector and quilt cover.. but without much difference. Hopefully it will dry within the next few hours, otherwise I am going to have to improvise! *Note to self: really need to get an extra bedding set to avoid further situations like this.

Finally Officially Moved in!

I am typing this on my laptop with my super slow internet hotspotted from my phone…Other than the room being extremely cold, I am okay with it so far…I’ll see how my first night here goes.

For dinner tonight, I had some leftover Charsiu from my aunty, I microwaved some of that instant brown rice, air fried some frozen veggies (bad idea..the corn started exploding lol), and some french fries (also courtesy of my aunt). Everything except the rice and veggies was chucked into the airfryer. I added a touch of ketchup and mixed everything together and BAM that’s kind like fried rice with out frying it (unless the airfryer counts?). That my friends was the first meal I have cooked (?) in Melbourne on my own.

I also had my first shower which was freezing cold and I super regretted only bringing two towels with me…and they aren’t big towels either! Fingers crossed they will be dry for the next time I need to use them … I need more towels..lol.. I realise I barely have anything…but I am trying to improvise and make do with make-shift items. I have made a few temporary bings out of cardboard boxes…I have used a dish towel to be both a placemat and a temporary dish dryer. As I don’t have anything to line my drawers with, I have used paper towel to hold my cutlery and knives so they don’t move every time I open the drawer.

My aunt and uncle gave me an old table they had sitting outside so I have brought that back and set it up..they also gave me an old tv..but, unfortunately, it doesn’t work…LOL…Or I just don’t know how to set it up…:(

I had some trouble figuring out how to use the microwave and I thought it was broken…LOl but anyways I did end up eventually figuring it out…the sink also was missing something to stop the water from being drained, but I looked around and found something that fit to stop it…also sadly that hand held-vacuum that was here…I just realised it doesn’t run on batteries and needs a charger…WHICH THE PREVIOUS TENANT didn’t leave behind so basically it’s junk and I already have a draw for broken shit. -.- why don’t they get rid of the broken stuff?!? LAME.

Today I also bottled my kettle for the first time..good to know it works. I’ve also been using the airconditioner…jsut cos its soo cold…I am scared of my electricity bill though :(. Asides from not having enough clothes hangers to hang my clothes…I am pretty much unpacked!

Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to explore a bit of the neighbourhood and get those supplies that I have been writing down in my phone…I need so many more cleaning supplies 😦 But where am I going to store it? I don’t have a laundry room sadly…

Day three (I think)…Haven’t moved in yet

So I finally got my keys today. But, as with all things, there are mishaps when you want to move in, the property manager called and said there was a crack in the shower floor and it might leak water into the unit below…so I had to wait for about 3 hours for a plumber to seal up the leak…and then I am not allowed to use it for at least 24 hours apparently.

Anyways……Whilst waiting for the plumber…I went up and down the stairs around 13 times..! As I had to move everything by myself I was only able to carry a little at a time..boy was it a major struggle trying to drag what seemed like a 30 kg suitcase up the stairs…

It felt SOO good to finally unload all of the crap that has been weighing down my car for the last few days and consuming so much more petrol than normal…soo good..but it took me ages to get everything out…I miss the days when I was living at my house in Adelaide and the car is soo easy and I don’t need to lock my door and the front door every time I leave the room.

As my aunties and uncles told me, I needed to make sure I documented with photos and videos the place before I moved in, just in case I get told off for damaging the property and losing my bond when I move out…I have to say, there was a lot of stuff that I didn’t realise was there previously..a greasy microwave, a dirty fridge, dusty bed frame, dusty everything! Also, the mattress itself was disgusting… the previous tenants obviously didn;t use matress protectors..coz there was all these blood stains and other stains on it..EWWWW..I tried getting rid of the stains with the antibacterial wipes…but not much luck sadly…..I also found out one of the desk lamps don’t work, not sure if I just need to replace the lightbulb…I am a bit scared to change them lol…I used an entire pack of antibacterial wipes to cover almost every surface (that I can reach) of the apartment. It just felt so unclean..not knowing who has touched that surface or when it was last clean. I then proceeded to spray Glen 20 (an antibacterial spray) literally on every surface and on matress. Then I opened the windows to air out the place a bit..who knows how long it has been vacated for..

Then I started unpacking..it’s a bit hard to say where I will keep stuff at the moment…Most of my clothes are still in the vacuum sealed bags…coz I haven’t decided what to do about them yet..I am not sure if I have enough clothes hangers either..I just grabbed a whole bunch and didn’t think about it too much… When I took them out, it didn’t seem enough…but we’ll find out I guess!

I opened up the big fat suitcase and started taking out sanitary pads, label maker, dishwashing liquid (I don’t know why I bothered to buy it all in Adelaide lol), face masks, more face masks, and random stuff that I bought in Adelaide. I unloaded all the snacks that I received and I bought before my long trip to Adelaide…and yes unboxing all my new appliances..like my kettle and air fryer…and the water filter jug…sooo sleek looking…I love it…I had to try decide where to put stuff and I am still working on it..I guess the top draws are the more frequently used stuff and bottom is less used things…so u don’t need to bend too much.
After I had enough of packing..I decided to stock up on some food..since all I had is instant soup, the snacks, and some instant noodles from my aunt. My aunt said there might be some issue with food shortages happening because the supply change is being affected and told me to stock up on frozen and long-life products.

So me being me, just wrote a list out, but didn’t really follow the list when I got there. I used a plastic bag to put groceries in when I got into the supermarket…then it got really heavy with all the canned foods, pasta, and pasta sauce I bought…so I took a basket and pretty soon that felt like it was going to break…so I decided to pay for this basket full of stuff first and then go back in with a trolley.

I spent wayyyy too much…but I need this stuff to survive…who knew living alone would be sooo expensive! It would be nice to have someone to share with…it would be a lot cheaper…but then again…the perks of living by your own rules and the design feels great! I bought a whole bunch of frozen food…vegetables, chips, fish, DUMPLINGS…and I bought fresh bread to put in the freezer… I also bought 2 bottles of long life soy milk…and yeah …canned fish, canned chicken, canned vegetables, and 2 cans of spam. I think there was a limit of 2 of each item in the store….Since my aunt said I need staples like flour, sugar, (I forgot salt), mayo, tomato sauce…I bought these also…So $$$ buying all this stuffs.!! I also bought some kitchen scissors which should come in handy. I went ham on the disinefctant…well not too ham since there is a limit of 2 items per person…but yeah there is SOOO many and like …I am so confused so i just grabbed whatever is cheapest. Also got some disposable hand gloves, reusable hand gloves, something to clean the toilet and something to clean floors…and window wipes…and air freshener!! Antibacterial hand soap!! LOL. I am cheapskate now I am living on my own. I’ll try to survive on the cheap stuff before I can invest in more expensive stuff…Cheap cling wrap, flour, sugar…lol.

I saw they had a $20 rice cooker…should I? How often will I cook rice anyways? I bought 2 packets of microwavable brown rice in case I felt like it.

What I haven’t bought is cleaning applicances..like a mop, a dust pan and sweeper…or anything like that…vacuum cleaner…I did notice a small hand held car vac in the apartment…maybe it was left behind by the previous tenant? I am not sure..didn’t try it if it works yet…will try tmoro…maybe that would be sufficient to clean my small apartment?!?! I really want a Dyson Stick vacuum tho….but soo $$..>gotta be more careful with money now that I am paying so much in rent per week T_T

So exicting and so exhilarating to be living in my own place!!!!!!!!! Still so much to do however!

Day -Zero

I just spent a whole entire day literally in my car.. my car is a mess 😦 I normally wouldn’t eat in my car.. but with all the restrictions in place, I really had no choice :(. It’s so dirty now…and carwashes and stuff are all closed as per the stage 4 lockdown :(.

I am exhausted.. but just wanted to write a quick post to let you guys know I’ve reached Melbourne after driving solo across from Adelaide. It was scary.. but it was also exciting and exhilarating experience as well. I wonder if I would enjoy it more with company…probably? Depending on who it is.

I saw a few cool things along my journey.. including SILO art and a giant Koala! I have added these photos to the post.. it made the trip more worthwhile.

This was my first roadtrip on my own…and I gotta say.. it’s quite sad seeing all the dead wildlife that are strewn across the roads :(. I counted at least 12 kangaroos and 1 possum that was dead. For some reason, some dead kangaroos had a red X marked on them :S. Something did jump out In front of me, not sure if it was a possum or a black cat.. but luckily I did not hit it.

Another thing that I noticed there was a lot of police presence on the the side of the road towards Adelaide. When I unknowingly reached the border between Adelaide and Melbourne, the other side of the road had a checkpoint set up to make sure everyone entering Adelaide had a permit. Good to know the borders are keeping the Adelaide people safe.

What people are surprised at is I didn’t get stopped at all by anyone at the borders. I didn’t need to worry about it at all! It was literally cross no questions asked.

I have some house inspections to do tomorrow and some paperwork to do for my new job. Hopefully all goes well and I don’t get in trouble for going out >.<

Silo art

Apartment Hunting

Just spent the whole morning working on my rental applications .. sigh

I never knew it would be so hard..baha you are literally feels like you are going for a job interview all over again..but even tougher! You have to provide professional, work, and character references…And also write why you want the apartment ..LOL..

I am trying to decide whether its worth paying almost. $50 a week for a fully furnished apartment or do I want to use that $50 a week and buy my own furniture?! But what if I move?  How am I going to take all my shit with me? Meh.

Well I’ve submitted two rental applications so far…and I haven’t heard back from them yet.  I haven’t inspected the properties of course, but some require you to apply before they allow you to inspect…! Thanks to Covid-19 restrictions they are only allowed to have one person inspecting the property at a time…no more open inspections 😦

Because I am looking to find my own 1-bedroom apartment, I guess I will be a loner in Melbourne lol. Housemates do sound fun…but I am worried I won’t get along with them..and I am such an introvert lol.

Who knows,,,maybe if I make some friends I can move out with them .. ?

Love-Hate Relationship with Caffeine

I couldn’t sleep yesterday night…not sure if it was because I ate some pizza with cheese (and being lactose-intolerant) or if it was because I drank a matcha latte drink at night.

My tolerance for caffeine has been really really low lately! Without the early starts in the morning for work I rarely drink a cup of tea any more…usually drinking tea at night is fine for me…but I was super hyped up and full of energy until 2am at night… I stayed up reading Webtoons as I was too alert…yet also anxious because I need to work tomorrow..! The more I tried telling myself I need to go to sleep NOW…the more alert and anxious I became..sigh

Woke up groggy in the morning…with a bit of headache… I made a cup of coffee to prepare me for the long drive to work..Don’t want to fall asleep especially on the expressway and PLUS it’s raining.

Why does caffeine both make me tired and then make me alert? I am so addicted and so dependent on it… 😦

My stomach hurts..not sure if its from the coffee or from the pizza from last night.. 😦

Caffeine is both friend AND foe.

Lasik failure :(

I was so worried about post surgery complications, I didn’t even consider that the procedure would be a failure…

Prior to the surgery, I was given the choice to take some sleeping tablets to help “relax me”.. and of course I took it.. I was nervous as hell.. but little did I know what would happen next.

I don’t know how often this happens, but I was all gowned up with the hairnet, shoe covers, and ready to get lasik. I had to go through numerous stinging eyedrops, face disinfected, text over my eyes…and then they propped openmy eyes with something so I couldn’t blink.. that was a bit painful. I had to stare at a green light above me that sort of suctioned onto my eye. It was uncomfortable, there was drilling sounds, I was scared shitless. I think I knew something was wrong because the machine kept coming off and back on to my eye…what felt like an eternity later (but was probably a minute later), the doctor aborted the surgery. He had made two incisions in the flaps of my eye to try lift them, but apparently couldn’t because the shape of me eyes were weird. But mate, aren’t you supposed to check that pre-surgery? At that time I was too drowsy to say anything and really remember much.. I was taken to a recovery area with a ned.. and given an icepack for my now inflammed rye.. they were talking about there being bubbles in my eyes. WTF.

The doctor pulled me back into his room and tried to explain what happened, but he used all this medical jargon (about eyes) which I didn’t understand and was too sleepy to ask about. Why do they do that? After drugging you up telling you all this important stuff? He took out the after lasik pack which had been shown to me by a optometrist assistant prior to going into the surgery. He chucked away the antibiotic eyedrops and said “You won’t need this”. But what if I do? You have made two cuts in my eye! I can see the blood lines there and it freaks me out.

I can’t remember the last time I felt so disappointed, dissatisfied , disgusted, depressed, and yet damn angry. I have been knocked out the rest of the day. All that damn anxiety and dread leading up to the surgery day…

They also made me pay upfront BEFORE i had the surgery. What scammers. In the end they apparently “refunded” it to me on my credit card.. but honestly I can’t see it there yet…I won’t let them get away with that one. 😤😤😤

Some of my friends have told me to sue them for medical negligence. Whilst it sounds like s annoying and long-winded expensive process… I wouldn’t want anyone else to go through what I did and who knows how long my eyes will take to recover? They didn’t even tell me if I can wear contacts again.. do I have to wear sunglasses everywhere? Am I not allowed to wash my hair with shampoo? Which is what their information sheets say, but they didn’t write one up for botched surgeries.

A mixture of guilt and sadness also lies within my mind. Why did I want so bad to not have glasses? I guess they might be the safest option now…

-Sad

Waiting for lasik now

Super super nervous.. omg.. took some relaxants and sleeping tablets that were offered to me.. i think I will be knocked out post surgery… Then begins the nightly process of a trio of eyes drops, lubricants, antibiotics, and a steroid. They also are giving some pain relief meds.. to really really knock me out if needed.. hopefully will “see” you on the other side clearly.

Why I hate glasses

Exercising with glasses is a shit house. Glasses falls off, fogs up, and vision is blurry.

That’s what I told myself anyways…That’s why I wore contacts everyday,no matter where or what I was doing. I just feel self conscious, ugly, and not myself. When I feel contacts, I just feel so much more confident in myself that I don’t need to keep pushing up those stupid glasses that don’t ever seem to fit on my face. I just hate all the photos with me on glasses.. you can’t even see my eyes!!

That’s until I went for an appointment to see if I was eligible for Lasik surgery last week. He told me that my cornea was quite thin! The layer on top of the eye…I wonder if this is from my overuse of contact lenses 😦 Apparently you should only use it for 8 hours maximum a day, but I know for sure I wear them for 12-14 hours a day… eek..