Catch 22 – Research Projects

When you start investigating and looking into doing research, unfortunately you will affect the circumstances that you are in.

Research has not been my strong point or forte unfortunately… I just get overwhelmed, bored, and tired of doing research. Unfortunately, as part of my residency position, I will have to complete a research project. Coming up with a project hasn’t been that difficult, but implementation and designing. Holy shit. So hard..🥲🥲🥲it’s almost been a year, yet I still haven’t been able to even start my project yet. Getting ethics has been a major road block… there are so many hurdles to jump through even before I can even go through to ethics… As a resident, my project has to go through the Education committee before going to the Research Committee, and then finally after they all disseminate my Research Expression of Interest.. then can finally go to the Ethics Committee 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲 just too hard if you ask me.

It sucks now.. the waiting game before starting the Research.. but I suppose in a years time… maybe I will be pretty happy with where I have ended up? Perhaps I would have finished/close to finishing my research project..

WHO KNOWS

Am I going to make a difference in the world? Maybe not?

I love my project… yet I also hate it with passion. How I long to be a normal employee without all the additional responsibilities, research, and expectations… Yet, I know this is a stepping stone for something greater. Something better. Who knows

Returning Home to Adelaide

Coming back to Adelaide for the first time since I left was weird… at times it felt like nothing had changed… but underneath the surface, when you looked a little closer, things has definitely changed.

Since I made the move to Melbourne in August, my friend had a baby, 2 of my friends separated from their partners, my sister finally moved into their new home, my dad was diagnosed with diabetes….my brother bought an ipad for $13!! Houses have been built, buildings have been knocked down, many shops have been forced to close, the covid-19 situation leaves its sting on each business. There are QR codes at each business so that people can check in.

My home hasn’t changed … it’s still as messy and full of hoarded stuff.. everytime I see it, I feel sad.. I feel like I want to clean it up, but it’s not really up to me to tell my parents they need to start throwing away…. for example, I tried washing my clothes this morning and the Washing Machine started shaking, vibrating, and stopped working completely… I had to HANDWASH every item and I know I did a shit job. Lol. Haven’t handwashed anything in forever. I dont even have a bucket to do that in Melbourne.. and of course we don’t have a dryer so some of my clothes are still wet 😅😅😅….

My pet turtle is hugeeee now!! Maybeeeee coz I haven’t seen her for so long!! But she looks hugeee! I am so sure my dad is feeeding her wayyy too much.

My little nephew is as cute as ever!! He has been growing taller and since he has started walkingc he has been losing his baby fat! No longer the chubby baby I once knew! He can saw random words on demand..i.e. the colour BLUE, the name EMMA (the yellow wiggle), and the numbers 8 and 9.

It’s weird feeling like a stranger in your own home, I feel like a guest, but then I also feel like I am not. Hard to explain.

Was this whirlwind last minute trip worth it? Definitely… I just hope there won’t be any last minute breakouts which mean I have to immediately self-isolate or quarantine when I head back to Melbourne… fingers and toes are crossed.

Now, let’s all enjoy that weird time between Christmas and New years.

Cheers to a better year in 2021 🥂

Life is like a box of setbacks

Each time I feel like I have finally taken a step forward, I make the same mistake and end up 10 steps back to where I started. With each set back, the pain grows, yet I am starting to feel numb inside…Making the same mistake again and again, it frustrates me that I haven’t learnt my lesson. I feel frustrated in myself. Angry. Sad. Why can’t they just cut me some slack? Why do I always feel like I get the harshest critics watching over me like a hawk with no mercy?

I sound like I am asking to be pitied and I guess in a way I am. I am pitiful in my plight to get it easy. Nothing was ever given to me on a plate. I’ve always had to work so, freaking hard for everything that I have ever put my hand to.

I don’t know why I am complaining, but I just want to let the world know how I felt..

I felt a bit down after work today after another set back on my 100 items competency…I had made it to 82 last Friday and I had my fingers and toes crossed that today would be THE DAY that I reached 100 items and get to be fully fledged as the pharmacist I already am and being able to focus on more important things I need to do. I wonder if my lack of concentration is due to my anxiety to finish this as soon as possible, the lack of iron, or the restless sleep I have.

One day, I hope I. will look back and say, ” I am glad you didn’t give up otherwise you wouldn’t be where you are now”.

Until then, I say to myself, “Just keep swimming”. (Said in Dory’s voice xD)

Treating yourself Kindly

I find that I am the harshest critic upon myself… when faced with uncertainty, I often doubt myself.. my qualifications and my ability to get the job done.

Amongst other things, I am quick to compare myself to others and hence, usually feel bad for myself. 😔😔 But what for? Everyone is different, unique, and has their own journey. There isn’t any point comparing your journey to someone else’s. That’s what I SHOULD think.. but anyway, other people will do it, even if you don’t.

But you just gotta drown that thought out and don’t pay attention. Just do your best! That’s all you can do. 😊

Week five of our stage 4 lockdown… we are due for review on September 13th.! Fingers and toes crossed we will have some restrictions lifted ✌️✌️🤞🤞🤞

Episode Three of Working in Melbourne up!

I haven’t been very consistent with the naming of the podcast .. is it even a podcast? More like a lazy way to diary my life… my sad Iso-life.

Click here for Episode Three!

I promise to write a proper blog post soon! P.S. adulting achievement unlocked! Finally managed to make the skin on my salmon CRISPY!! 😍😍😍

The benefits and pains of wearing a facemasks

Since I have come to Melbourne I have been wearing a mask daily and have made a list of the unexpected perks and slightly irritations from wearing a mask.

Benefits:

Obviously to protect yourself and others from coronavirus …

Covers up pimples

Don’t need make up on bottom half of the face

Protection from the sun?

Don’t have to fake smile at people

Don’t have to talk to people if you don’t want

Can look happy or sad secretly

Can yawn whenever and people can’t tell discreetly

Could possibly eat things that smell bad and people won’t be able to tell

Less people smoking in public!

Makes some people look better

Not so good things about masks:

If you don’t have one on (because you want to drink water or eat a snack), you feel guilty and that people look at you weirdly.

I can’t snack as much as I would want.

As above, I’ve been drinking less water. 😦

No one can hear me when I talk and I can’t hear other people.

I can’t tell who is talking to me :(.

Can’t recognise people in general.

The mask plus the faceshield really fogs up the shield or any glasses I am wearing…

Face gets itchy ..

What I have learnt from wearing a mask for 3 weeks:

Feels so good to not wear a mask at home!

You really have to stare at people’s eyes to try tell if they are smiling or not…

It is fascinating to see how people look under their mask…so many people look so much better with their mask on..weirdly! Or maybe it’s because they only put eye make up on? ? ahahahha…

On a different note, I have to collect something from the post-office because I wasn’t home to collect the delivery…sadly their hours of operation are seriously cutting it close to the time I am able to collect it. FINGERS CROSSED I will be able to get it post work tomorrow.

Today was my first day at the hospital in whcih I will be at for the next six months…I am still feeling quite shy and cautious about all the differences that I may face while working at the hospital…however, there are quite a few pharmacists from overseas…I am assuming that would be more different?!

I hope tomorrow I will make more progress and be more confidence and be able to contribute more to the team…

Day -Zero

I just spent a whole entire day literally in my car.. my car is a mess 😦 I normally wouldn’t eat in my car.. but with all the restrictions in place, I really had no choice :(. It’s so dirty now…and carwashes and stuff are all closed as per the stage 4 lockdown :(.

I am exhausted.. but just wanted to write a quick post to let you guys know I’ve reached Melbourne after driving solo across from Adelaide. It was scary.. but it was also exciting and exhilarating experience as well. I wonder if I would enjoy it more with company…probably? Depending on who it is.

I saw a few cool things along my journey.. including SILO art and a giant Koala! I have added these photos to the post.. it made the trip more worthwhile.

This was my first roadtrip on my own…and I gotta say.. it’s quite sad seeing all the dead wildlife that are strewn across the roads :(. I counted at least 12 kangaroos and 1 possum that was dead. For some reason, some dead kangaroos had a red X marked on them :S. Something did jump out In front of me, not sure if it was a possum or a black cat.. but luckily I did not hit it.

Another thing that I noticed there was a lot of police presence on the the side of the road towards Adelaide. When I unknowingly reached the border between Adelaide and Melbourne, the other side of the road had a checkpoint set up to make sure everyone entering Adelaide had a permit. Good to know the borders are keeping the Adelaide people safe.

What people are surprised at is I didn’t get stopped at all by anyone at the borders. I didn’t need to worry about it at all! It was literally cross no questions asked.

I have some house inspections to do tomorrow and some paperwork to do for my new job. Hopefully all goes well and I don’t get in trouble for going out >.<

Silo art

Having multiple job Interviews and offers

Whenever I am looking for a job, I don’t just apply for one job, I go far and wide… in the hopes of getting something and hopefully getting to choose. I mean you sort of don’t want to put all your eggs in one basket and hope for the best…We are humans 😦 We have to work for money when we are young so we can retire young and with enough income, (more on that in another post).

So what happens when you get multiple offers of interviews and during your job search you get offered a position? Depending on the company, some give you plenty of time to think about accepting, while some need the answer ASAP, because they need someone to work NOW.

I don’t think there is ever a right or wrong answer to this question. Sometimes, the job that you got an offer for would make you so depressed and sad…so much that you regret not considering the other options that were on offer… However, we have to factor in different aspects, is it contract? Full-time or part-time? Casual? What are my future career prospects? You can’t figure all that out from a job interview…you have to experience and get into the job, learn the ropes, and know the people to make that decision.

Like I said yesterday, high risk means higher returns right?

I had to reject a job interview today, but I thought about it long and hard before writing the rejection email. Would I have gone for the interview if I hadn’t already had a job offer? Absolutely. But, I have accepted an offer, and I don’t want to be the one to back out now. Fingers crossed there will be no regrets later. I personally wont do well in an interview for a job I don’t really want at the time..I feel like it would be so half-hearted…and I am not giving it my all.

I am so excited, yet so terrified! The borders between Melbourne and Sydney are closing at midnight tonight…if I go to Melbourne, I don’t know when I can come back to Adelaide. Apparently, Adelaide may close the border between us and Melbourne completely soon too…It means no one can go in or out with a very good reason (i.e. emergency…). It feels like I am stepping into a warzone, just a bit. Melbourne recorded its record number of new cases today.. Almost 200..The place is still in lockdown…so eeps.

I asked for an interesting life and I got it. I will keep updating this blog through my transition to the Covid-Central of Australia, lol. Stay tuned.

Housing Horrors

Currently have been spending the most of the day today just looking up different suburbs of Metropolitan Melbourne..Since the whole place will be locked down in stage three Restrictions from tomorrow night…I don’t have to worry about hotspot areas any more..the whole place is on fire now (with Covid-19) …=.=”

If you know me, I am terrible with maps, geography, and have a bad sense of direction. I am only able to get around Adelaide to the few places I know without GPS because I go there so often! Any new area and I use my GPS.

Imagine the difficulty I am having trying to learn Melbourne’s areas…I have literally gone off friend and family’s suggestions of suburbs and now I am starting to use a website to suss out reviews about different suburbs. I am getting there. Slowly… I have posted an ad on a a website that lists both people looking to rent out rooms or those looking for flatmates …to say I am looking for accommodation… It takes a lot of time actually! Finding a place.. it is likely I won’t be able to do house inspections…but thanks to technology I might be able to schedule in some live interview inspections…which is good I guess. Less risk for me and the occupants. Let’s see how we go! It’s another milestone for this adulting journey of mine!

Who knew it would be so hard trying to rent a place to stay? I’ve been trying to read up on tenancy agreements, bond deposits, etc…so much to consider..I am probably going to drive down there…so I will need to think about on street parking and hope it’s safe. I am going for safety and convenience.//so I guess I might be paying a bit more for that than other suburbs…

How to be comfortable #forever alone

There are going to be times where you will be alone, whether driving to work, going on work vacations or if you don’t know anyone in a social situation…or even during Covid lockdowns. I think it is always useful to have something to do in case you have time to kill and don’t want to waste it.

1. Have a piece of technology with you at all times…most likely at least your phone…so you can use it to surf the internet, use social media, or write ideas for future blog posts…

2. Have a book to read…Whether a light novel, autobiography or whatever. It is perfectly acceptable to sit somewhere to read, you would less uncomfortable with a book than without. Can even read manga or ebooks from your phone like Webtoons! Or listen to books being read out loud on Audiobooks etc.

3. Have some good music to listen to. Emo music is great.

4. Get a pet. Dog, cat, fish, or turtle etc. Even plushie or bolster is fine. xD. Anything you can cuddle really….

5. Learn how to play an instrument..but don’t spend too much on your first instrument xD you can learn from Youtube videos.

6. Just learn to love yourself and to love the friends and family around you. You can do this with the help of Apps, self-health books, psychological services, or just spending time on yourself.

7. Maybe get a plant? But only if you can keep it alive, nothing is more depressing than a dead plant in the house :(.

8. Watch online streamers or even start streaming yourself! Maybe a good way to connect with other people or make new friends.

9. Get into the stock or share market!! Why not use all that spare time you have being single and grow your investment portfolio and become a bit more well off than you are now. Also look into your Super Fund and see if they are really growing your supperannuation for you or is it time to choose a different option for yourself.

10. Work out and get yourself the best body you can have! Go to the gym as much as you can, get fit, and get healthy..or play a sport, like badminton!! I guess this is good for making friends and socialising as such, if your area let’s you go back to indoor spoorts that is.

I am guessing the reality of these things I listed is because when you DO eventually get into a relationship, you most likely will have less time to yourself and to do what you want. Why not make the most of this single prime time and make it your time..

-#Foreveralone

Impostor Syndrome

Impostor Syndrome is thinking that you aren’t qualified or good enough when in a position or when applying for one…but in fact you are. I guess it may tie in with having an inferiority complex…thinking others are always better than yourself.

I believe many working professionals are in the same boat as me…thinking and feeling that they have no idea what they are doing and are worried that someday someone will expose them for the fraud that they are.

No matter how many exams I have passed or feedback that I receive…I always feel like I am ‘Pretending to be a pharmacist‘. Pretending to know more than I do not. Our minds and our worries trick us to thinking that we are the only one who is feeling that way…but that is not true. Sure, some people may seem like they are naturally ‘born’ with talents and traits that may lead them to be good at something. But surely, they would have most likely had to work very hard to get there and perhaps they also feel like they are pretending as well.

Fake it till you make it. That’s what people advise you to do…but it’s hard you know..it’s scary pretending to be something you are not, but actually you are. I believe it’s particularly bad when you are about to start a new position that requires you to have prior experience and skills already…it makes you feel like your prior knowledge and experiences isn’t enough and indeed that is how I am feeling moving into my next position. I know it won’t be easy, but I know one thing is that I will work hard and do my best. Because, as someone once said, if it was easy, then everyone would be doing it.

 

 

The journey to becoming a pilot -podcast!

Hey guys, I recorded the first of I hope many .. podcast interviews with people studying or doing different professions! I hope you enjoy this first podcast and sorry for all the background noise.

On Job interviews

Job interviews can be so nerve-wracking and I wonder if they really do paint an accurate picture of whether or not we will be a good employee. Certain people seem to fare better in the talk themselves up department and others not so much. How do you know that the one who talks better in the interview will be a better match than the more shy interviewee who is actually much more hard-working and efficient employee?

Do you act yourself or must you force yourself to pretend to be someone else?

You literally have to give a great first impression from the start…When you first apply with your resume and cover letter, you’ve got to make sure that you demonstrate that you can construct legible sentences and structure things well.

After that, there may be an additional screening phone call or automated online interview, which you have to demonstrate you can cohesively construct something verbally well.

Then the next step if you make it as a live person interview with one or more panel members. In this case, you have to actively demonstrate your listening and quick thinking skills as you answer an array of various and sometimes random questions about yourself or a hypothetical scenario.

As this snapshot may not be sufficient enough for them, they will also contact your referees to make sure that you are not lying through your teeth about your most recent jobs and that you are indeed a good person to hire.

After you have passed all these hurdles you have to have police checks conducted on you, to make sure you ain’t a criminal or someone who has incurred many traffic accidents. If you are working in a hospital, they also need to test your blood to make sure your immunisations are all up to date.

Then you are finally hired! But you still have that six to twelve month probationary period where they can let you go at anytime. -.-;;

It’s such a pain moving from one job to another, but sometimes you have no choice…there just may be no room to grow for you in your current job. Life is tough, contracts finish, you may have bad management, bad colleagues… It is no surprise that as a millennial I have probably changed jobs more often than my dad has through his entire working life.

Priorities in Life

I think I have said it before, but there is a time and place for everything.

There is a time to save, a time to spend, a time to invest, a time to just work your ass off.

Everyone harps on about work-life balance, but what and who really determines what value you put on each area? Is there a perfect number? I think it is more a subjective thing and it will change through the seasons of your life.

I believe our priorities change as we grow…In high school, all I ever wanted to do was graduate and be done with school. Then in Uni, I just wanted so badly to pass my exams and to finish my course. I started working and then all I could think about is how much I missed my friends at uni and all the free time I used to have.

People my age are getting married, having kids, working and planning their life.

I suppose it comes down to our values to what we think is important and that occupies our time.

Online Live Interviews

Just finished a live online interview which is I guess the third and final step in the application process.

Was super nervous the whole day… just pacing back and forth and last minute watching all these videos on interview skills.

Some of the questions they asked were the ones I sort of prepared for, except they gave they scenarios.

They asked me why do you want to work at ______ Health and What do you know about the Pharmacy Residency Program. No matter how much I practiced this, I still stumbled and fell.

Then they gave me some case scenarios:

  1. If you got given some negative feedback, how would you go about addressing the feedback that they gave?

I honestly thought about what I would have done in a real case scenario..reflect and also think about how I can improve in the future. I would also keep doing what I have done well, but work on what I can do better.

     2. How would you prioritise your time if you had two different presentations to do, a research project, a new rotation, and also you best-friends wedding at the end of your residency program?

TBH I couldn’t really hear the whole question clearly..so there may or may not be a research question added into that mix. Again, I didn’t lie and literally told them what I do in real life, write it in my journal..and plan my time around those deadlines. I also said that I wouldn’t cancel on my best friends because work life balance is important.

3. Imagine that you have got some feedback from your preceptor about your research assignment and you have emailed him for some feedback. However, he does not reply within 3 weeks…you bump into him and ask if he has seen your email. He says he has been really busy lately and told you to relax because the project isn’t due for ages.

Again, this is a familiar situation I have been in before…and I answered honestly once again. I would try to think of opportunities outside the box, i.e. asking a colleague of his for help or looking to see if I can fix it myself. Alternatively, I would try to schedule some time with him, i.e. over lunch or after work for 15 minutes. I said it would be respectful of their time and their duties…But I guess I should have reminded them of their responsibilities as a preceptor.

omg I forgot the last question….there was four tho..

Then I asked them a question…”What kind of person are you hiring?”

Felt dumb to ask that too..lol since I should know..

They wanted to hire someone that was enthusiastic, shows excellence, hard-working, and adaptable to change.

They then asked me about my experience in pharmacy so far and whether or not I would be willing to move to Melbourne. If I am going for the interview, I guess?!!?

Apparently for external applicants, like myself..We will have a 2 week orientation to the hospital in mid August..then the residency starts in September :O… So still lots of time to prepare if I needed to move..which is good.

They will get back to all the applicants either at the end of this week or the start of next week. Referee checks will be conducted by that time aswell.

Fingers crossed!

 

p.s. I asked them how they were coping with the resurgence of Covid-19 cases in Melbourne, not sure if appropriate… ><“