First year Anniversary in Melbourne

I can’t believe one year in Melbourne has already passed soo quickly in a blink of an eye 😅😅… I spent half of the time in a lockdown, but honestly it hasn’t been too bad. So grateful for the good times I have had during my stay here, the people I have met, and the food I have eaten.

Cheers 🥂 to another year to go. 😌😌😌Where will I be in one years time?

Lock down lifting

Soooo restrictions are easy across metropolitan Melbourne since yesterday morning. But, I really honestly didn’t feel impact from it. I was home all day yesterday, bed ridden from a sudden wave of sickness. I reckon it had to be the sudden new working hours of the dreaded “Late Shift” week that I had. 11:30am-20:00 pm … so cold, and so dark when I finally finished working….

I fought the sickness for 2 days before succumbing to it and finally breaking down. There was no more juice, a full migraine broke out on top of the background sickness of congestion, cough, sore throat, and hot and cold chills. I actually planned to get covid swabbed, but was feeling way too sick to do so.

Life always has it’s ways of saying to you, it’s time to rest. Like, really! Stop pushing yourself and get well soon.

P.S. i am on annual leave from today, unfortunately I had to cancel my flights to Adelaide as Adelaide has closed its borders to me and I am unable to return home at this stage =\/(

The daily grind

Not sure if it’s the grey cold weather, the workload, the long hours, the extra things I do after work and on my weekends.

But these days, I feel like I am struggling. Struggling to have the energy to do anything.. the excitement in life is just waning. Perhaps its because I came back from having one week off for the first time since I started this new job in August 2020.

Perhaps it maybe also because I’ve been self weaning off my medicines that keep depression and anxiety away, and now… With that in my background, life just seems so much harder. So much sadder.

But this too will past, won’t? I am not even sure why I feel so sad, why so down, why so anxious… maybe I just didn’t pay attention to it. Maybe, it’s because when something good goes away… then you realise how nice it was and the life before was so bleak.

Sometimes people add colour, rainbows, variety to the mundane life and once they go away. It’s hard, so hard to get used to that boring life again.

But overtime, you will forget, forget those sunny days. To see a rainbow, you do require rain aswell as sun.

Catch 22 – Research Projects

When you start investigating and looking into doing research, unfortunately you will affect the circumstances that you are in.

Research has not been my strong point or forte unfortunately… I just get overwhelmed, bored, and tired of doing research. Unfortunately, as part of my residency position, I will have to complete a research project. Coming up with a project hasn’t been that difficult, but implementation and designing. Holy shit. So hard..🥲🥲🥲it’s almost been a year, yet I still haven’t been able to even start my project yet. Getting ethics has been a major road block… there are so many hurdles to jump through even before I can even go through to ethics… As a resident, my project has to go through the Education committee before going to the Research Committee, and then finally after they all disseminate my Research Expression of Interest.. then can finally go to the Ethics Committee 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲 just too hard if you ask me.

It sucks now.. the waiting game before starting the Research.. but I suppose in a years time… maybe I will be pretty happy with where I have ended up? Perhaps I would have finished/close to finishing my research project..

WHO KNOWS

Am I going to make a difference in the world? Maybe not?

I love my project… yet I also hate it with passion. How I long to be a normal employee without all the additional responsibilities, research, and expectations… Yet, I know this is a stepping stone for something greater. Something better. Who knows

Short Story Series- You got Scammed – Chapter 7

Saturday rolled around faster than she expected and now she was getting ready for the date. She was tossing up between two different dresses, one was a low cut sexy black mini dress while the other one was a cute long green dress which didn’t show her body shape at all. In the end she chose the green dress, she didn’t know who this guy was and he could turn out to be a creepy stalker after all. She put on some make up and straightenedd her hair, smiled at herself in the mirror, grimaced at herself and then grabbed her keys and went out.

She had just parked her car at the station when the message alert rang out on her phone. It was Hiroshi….

“Hi Lilly. Sorry, I am running a few minutes late today because the train was delayed :(. Just to let you know I am wearing a maroon backpack and wearing a brown jacket. See you soon!” He then also sent a photo of him in his mask sitting in the train…

Damn, she had time to kill, time to do more investigating. If Hiroshi didn’t have social media accounts, he might still use things like LinkedIn or surely she would be able to find some information on him, Hiroshi didn’t seem like that common of a name. As she didn’t know his last name, she typed in his first name and changed the location to “Melbourne, Victoria”. She then tried with the keywords, “Chef, Japanese, Hiroshi, Melbourne”. There was absolutely nothing. It was like this guy really did not exist. Who was he? Was she safe? Should she back out now? Now she was somewhat afraid, this was a complete stranger that seemed like he had something to hide…She rubbed her temples and thought deeply, she could leave now, but then she would never get the answers she wanted to find out. Before she could come to a conclusion she heard her phone alert go off.

“Hi Lilly. Are you here already? I see a girl in a car that looks like you. Look out the window to the right.”

Is it being lazy or being efficient?

Today I managed to do a weeks worth of cleaning in one day. I was recording in a voice message to my mum what I did today.. and it was a lot (imo)..!

Woke up. Had breakfast. Then took the first load of laundry of undergarments downstairs. waited half an hour or so then took the next load, work clothes -on delicate mode- and put the undergarments in the dryer. Repeat x5. As I was hanging up the work clothes I get a call from my Aunty who was checking to see if I was alright…

After the call I try to do some study.. but I am hungry again :(. So it’s time to cook from all the left over ingredients I bought last week! So today and tmoros menu consists of frozen eel (soo delicious), frozen fishballs, frozen mixed veggies ( so colourful), fresh bokchoy x3 (coz its cheaper), 2 onions, half a garlic, half a box of smooth tofu, left over noodles…and voila! 4 or so meals are done. It tastes good too. You can’t really go wrong with these ingredients. I left of mess after cooking (and eating) as per usual.

So I started wiping down the kitchen bench.. then I realised the floor was dirty.. so I got out the good old two in one mixed head mop.. sprayed some disinfectant and water. Well, one thing led to another… I had the spray out already.. should I just clean my toilet and shower today instead of Sunday? It means tmoro I can just relax… hmmm anyways. So I ended quickly cleaning the bathroom too.. I don’t think I did as thorough as the week before.. but I’ll survive🤣🤣🤣 always feels sooo nice to have a clean toilet, clean clothes, and clean kitchen bench. My sink is still full of dishes tho 🤣🤣🤣…

Some of my colleagues are horrified to hear how I only clean once a week…but hey I live on my own and the mess is my own. If I can live with it, then it’s fine right? As long as no one else is affected 🤣🤣🤣imho.

Spilling Water on your laptop

So I bought some white rice the other day… brown rice is great, but it takes about two hours to cook in the rice cooker… well anyways, as you can see I am putting it to good use. As the responsible and clumsy me managed to spill my water bottle over the laptop.

I googled how to dry the laptop.. and apparently I have to wait a few days to dry it… before I can use it. 😭…

Other than that, I went to the Asian grocery for the first time… it felt like an outing… ! The supermarket is sooo huge… and I couldn’t find anything.. but still managed to buy quite a lot of frozen foods! Hopefully it will be healthier than the chinese pork sausages I have been using in my fried rice.

The Chinese pork sausage is so nice with the fried rice!! But so fatty .. cry.. other than that I am going to try do the 2 Week Ab Chloe Ting challenge xD.. hopefully can get a flatter stomach 🤣🤣🤣

Will report in 2 weeks on how I go…

Positivity Needed

Hi everyone,

My sister recently invited me to join this Facebook group: The Kindness Pandemic.  It is basically a group that shares different acts of kindness that they have experienced while the Coronavirus is going around in the world. It is the much-needed positivity that we need at a time where the world as it seems has changed and become a more grey colour.

I also want to shout out to our local grocery chain, ‘Coles’, who have decided to open early on Tuesdays and Thursdays for Health Care workers! I am planning to go in the morning and suss out who the other health care workers around the neighbourhood are and I wonder if there will be a stampede of people waiting outside when it opens? Personally, I am trying to stay at home as much as possible after work. I am trying to limit my weekly visit to the supermarket once a week. Yes, it is a bit boring at times, BUT on the plus side, I am helping to stop the potential spread of the disease.

My mind-shift about this disease has rapidly changed over the last few weeks…I was a sceptic a while ago….when the disease was overseas in China, it felt so far away! People were dying, yes…But it seemed so far. But now, the disease is on shores…It has reached and it has spread as people spread throughout Australia. My parents took quick action, getting as many things they thought they would need if they were self-isolated in the home. I wouldn’t call them ‘hoarders’ as such, but people who are thinking ahead. My parents are well-informed about the situation in China and were around when SARS also happened. They have refrained from going outside unless absolutely necessary and their church was also very proactive in going ‘Online’ with meetings instead of meeting face to face. It is a lot more than the rest of the population who seem to disregard the seriousness of this pandemic.

I used to think, I am young, I can survive this disease…But then, I also have to think, who may I be spreading the disease to? My patients at work? My elderly aunts and uncles? My nephew? My parents? A pregnant lady? Who knows who could get the disease from me and how can I live with the guilt that I may have been responsible for spreading something. While it can be really tempting to make this an “All about me” thing, we have to remember its also all about keeping “them” safe too. Also, as a health care worker…we have to look after our own health so that we can look after others… Please be patient with us as it’s not our fault there are medication shortages due to people stockpiling their medications :(! There is no need to stockpile medications during this time! There won’t be a shortage if everyone just gets their usual supply…

On a side note, I went to post a package today at the post office and I was really pleased that they implemented a 1.5 Metre marked lines on the floor to indicate how far people were to stand from each other! It’s great when businesses implement these ideas to help STOP the spread of the disease. I have also noticed some shopping centres having installed more automatic alcohol gel dispensers…People at KFC drive-through were also wearing gloves and not accepting cash. I hope everyone is able to see the seriousness of this disease and ramp up hygiene measures to minimise the spread! Good job to those people! I believe we can all do our small part.

 

Stay safe and well,

 

Joy

P.S Wash your hands!

person s left fist punching water
Photo by mali maeder on Pexels.com

Being a professional problems

Being a “Professional”..Means you can’t just make dirty jokes in front of other staff or patients publicly. Only in secret. Lol.

Means having to dress up and buy nice clothes so you don’t look like the homeless beggar you are at home.

It means taking some time to learn about what is happening in the world, politics, share market, global crisis, and pretending you care about it.

Being polite to people you rather slap in the face than hold a conversation with.

Kinda like pretending to be an adult.

Answering the phone in your polite “phone voice”, when actually you are pissed, angry, stressed, and want to go home.

Show up to networking events like you really want to be there, but in truth, you just want to crawl into a fetal position and read comics on your phone.

It means having a professional sounding voicemail message on your phone.

It means you spend half an hour literally just writing out your job description, phone number, email (why do u need this if the signature is attached to your email?!
), fax number, address, etc to your email signature…to make it look ‘professional’ you have to choose an appropriate font, size, and spacing. v. important.

It means applying for jobs that will improve your career and doing extra study/extra activities for your resume building.

Probably helps if you drink some alcohol.

It is about pretending to get along with everyone and be nice to evil people, bullies because you are “workmates” and you are a T E A M. Even though you hate them.

About pretending to care about your patients who are giving you a hard time, when u wish they would rot behind a cell.

It’s about not giving up when it all seems to hard and you feel tempted to quit…coz is the money worth the hardship!?!?!?

It’s about continual learning, even though the topics are nothing that you are interested in at all,

 

A reflection on Adulting

Adulting is..

Holding back when you know you are right..but want to avoid unnecessary confrontation and conflict with difficult people.

Paying bills and learning how to save money for the future…by collecting points…buying shares..investments…salary sacrifice…caring about your superannuation.

Enduring difficult circumstances, because you need the experience, money, and know it’s temporary.

Learning how to eat right and not just eat what you feel like (i.e. Maccas every day).

Making exercise a priority and not just an option for when you are free.

Working hard when no one is looking because it aligns with your own values and no one forced you to.

Writing emails in a professional manner, because you need to sound like an ‘adult’

Throwing away those young hipster clothes…coz you gotta look professional now..

Encouraging others, even when you so deeply crave encouragement yourself.

Making time for those important to you, when you barely even have time to sleep or look after yourself.

Enjoying the simple pleasures in life…

Finding that doing chores is therapeutic… like cleaning the room…folding laundry…washing clothes..ironing them wrinkles…washing those dirty plates and making them clean.

Realise you need to take breaks, spend money, go on holidays, do NOTHING sometimes.

Realising you are still the same kid you were..but you gotta pretend you are an adult and also realising you parents are just kids that are older than you.

Finding out you can’t have it all at the same time. But that things come in seasons, periods, and there is a time for everything.

Finally understanding that adulting doesn’t meaning ending up where your parents are and doing what they did.

Novel Coronavirus in Australia

Unless you have been living under a rock, you would have heard of the Novel Coronavirus that has recently broken out in Wuhan, China. News spread throughout the world and now everyone is scared that they will be the next to get the virus. There are over 12,000 people and has killed over 250 people world wide….

Currently, there are about 14 confirmed cases of CoronaVirus in the whole of Australia, with two confirmed cases in South Australia. Yet, despite the low number of people with the virus, everyone is worried. Facemasks are all sold out…hand sanitisers are also on the way out. I just heard on the news today that Australia has banned all Chinese National Tourists from coming here and also any foreigners that have recently travelled to China..Unless they are a Permanent Resident or Australian Citizen, they won’t be able to come here. Australia is not the only country to ban Chinese tourists into their country…

I can’t even imagine the repercussions that this virus has had on the tourism industry… Australian Universities rely on income from International Students, especially from China. To have this ban come into place…means a massive source of income that is gone…

On a more personal level, my parents have asked for a refund for their tickets that they bought last year… The status of China is “Do not travel”… Airports are now filled with thermometers and facemasks for everybody. My university has sent an email to all staff and students not to travel to China…There was one pharmacy in the middle of the city that has temporarily closed its doors for fear of the virus….

I work in a hospital and luckily we have not had any cases come to us yet…however, we are getting daily email updates about the virus and where it has gone to…It’s scary, yet I also feel like it is overhyped. It’s normal to fear what we don’t know know..the fear of the unknown… We don’t know how to cure this virus..we have no vaccine… It’s difficult to know how to detect it.

This is the era of the coronavirus…there are so many jokes about it..but is it as bad as it seems? Or are we just afraid of the unknown?

People who don’t care about you

Have you ever took a step back and realised someone that you thought you loved..liked…and realised. They don’t give a shit about you?

You spend so much time, money, and effort on them. Yet, all they care about is themselves. Their problems. Their issues. It’s always about them. You thought you would be able to have a relationship with them. But all you were to them was a piece of trash. Did they care to ask about your day? No. Did they ask you how your interview went? No. Did they even bother wishing you a happy birthday on your birthday? No. Despite you telling them about these things. You realise. They don’t give a single shit about you!

You were just conveniently there when they needed someone to be with them, to listen to their shit, and to let them feel comforted. You were being used. And for so long you let them do that to you. You tried to forget them…so many times. You ignored them. Kept your distance. Then they come running back when you least expected and it starts all over again.

But that is the last time. You will not, cannot let yourself be looked down upon. You are worth so much more than that. There will be someone who loves you for who you are. As a friend said to me, it takes two people to have a relationship. Not just one person struggling to keep it together, while the other person makes no effort…just keeps receiving without giving anything. I am not sure what I even like about that person? Maybe I was lonely and looking for someone to talk to. Maybe I wanted a friend. Maybe I wanted something more. But, when I found out who this person really is and how bad they treat me…I realise I deserve more. I had to tell someone about him. I was embarrassed though, because who goes chasing after someone who gives zero fucks about you? Again and again. Why did I think I could change him?

He’s a dick and he will stay a dick. I turned 29 years old yesterday. It’s time to grow up and realise my worth. In terms of what I can do in my career…in my sports..in my relationships…I have decided I won’t settle for what is convenient and easy… Have to realise you can do more than you think, because if you stick in a bad job or relationship for the sake of convenience…think of what you are missing out on…The higher pay..the better environment and someone who loves you better.

To be honest, I had a good look at my situation when I overhead a colleague talking about their friend who is seeing a dick guy. Apparently, the guy doesn’t want anyone to know about them and they meet in secret…Apparently, he doesn’t want to commit because he has another girl on the side…yet this friend continues staying with him. She gets heartbroken every month and comes crying to her friends. It’s hard. When you think you are in love. You try to see past all the flaws and the red flags telling you to run. Maybe it is our kind hearts that try to see the good in everyone.

Girls and boys, you deserve so much more. Someone you can love, and who will love you back.

Don’t look down on yourself.

Experience?

I woke up today and I was working on writing a job application for a senior pharmacist position…and as I was thinking of all the different pharmacies I have worked and all the different roles I have had…and realised I am an experienced pharmacist…even though I don’t think I am… I have achieved much and experienced much… I don’t know everything, but I know something.

Applying for jobs is about selling yourself, your knowledge, and your experiences. Some talent in writing is needed here…you want to make it seem like you have done more and learnt more than you probably have…if you undersell yourself, you won’t even get a chance to progress from paper to in-person interview.  That reminds me, I have another interview this coming week… It is part of the same company I am currently in..but a different branch…further away from my house… but hey, stability in finances comes with a cost. I love my job now, but having short contracts constantly and not knowing if I have a job next year is scary…and I need to do my best to grab whatever opportunities there are… Otherwise, I won’t be able to save up for my house :(.

I feel really lucky now…Even though at times it’s frustrating…scary… tiring.. and exhausting. I think there will come a time where I will look back, and say I can’t believe I made it that far…by working so hard! You reap what you sow and if you worked hard…your efforts will pay off.

Going to a house inspection later today…I finally have a day off! So I might as well use my time wisely.

In other news, yesterday I heard from a colleague that another colleague had suddenly passed away..No one knows why. They were young. Lot’s of potential and a funny person. They will surely be missed. But it reminded me greatly about the uncertainty of life and the experiences we have interacting with each other…If you treat someone badly, and then they pass away, there is no opportunity to say sorry or to forgive them.

So think again, do you want to live a life of regret? Treat people the best that you can.

I honestly rather that people treat me bad, then I treat someone bad.

Doubles Partner

Playing badminton can teach you about life.

Something that just occurred to me recently is, it is so important to find a good doubles partner for badminton/life.

In doubles, it is important that you can trust, communicate, and work well with the other person. If you don’t trust your partner, and they call a shot out-yet you don’t believe them…then you lose the point. Similarly, if you partner starts attacking from the back, the other person needs to know to move to cover the front of the court.

When things gets hard, as in you have been forced to do a lift which makes you susceptible to getting smashed by your opponents… you both have to take a side and defend the court. It would be incredibly hard if you you remained in a front and back formation as it would be hard to cover the whole court in that way.

If you did as drop shot, where the shuttlecock is really close to the net, you need to stay there and cover the next shot…in case they drop the shuttle back to you. It would be hard for your partner to run straight to the front of the court to cover the shot…

A good partner would encourage you to play and do better. Someone who gets angry easily and stops communicating is hard to play with…similarly if they don’t communicate saying “Yours” or “Mine”…there will be chances that clashes of racquets could happen.

Small things like high fiving after a good shot or praising, encouraging your partner is important. It may sound like nothing, but these small amounts of encouragement help to boost morale and lifts the team spirit.

Post game…win or loss…it’s important to keep the communication open…it can be hard after a loss not to blame the other person…but it’s good to thank them for playing and say the usual ‘We’ll do better next time’.

With these types of attitudes and learnings, I think it can be applicable and generalisable to all types of relationships with people you may have. Whether in family situations, work situations, friendships…and romantic relationships..

Priorities

I had an argument with someone who was once a friend…I was constantly trying to make plans to meet up with them or talk to them, yet they were always TOO BUSY to even talk. They would take forever to reply to simple texts asking if we were meeting up that day or not. It was just getting really annoying and frustrating for the lack of communication.

Call me pushy or too clingy…but honestly, sometimes you do wonder why you even bother? If the other person is putting in zilch effort towards a relationship that is one-sided, what even is the point?

Apparently, they are ‘too busy’, apparently their schedule is ‘too unpredictable’. But honestly, with a bit of communication and planning, there is always time. But, that’s only if you want to make time.  I got angry because I know that I have been incredibly busy and run down lately…but I do try my best to spend time with loved ones…because they are the ones who keep me sane, to help me relax. It wasn’t always like that, I used to just concentrate on work and study and no play. But that is no way to live.

We make our own schedule…essentially we choose what we do. Sometimes we feel like that isn’t the case. Despite knowing this, I still complain that I work too much…13 out of 14 days…but that’s IS MY OWN CHOICE and I have my reason to do so, but I don’t use that as an excuse for not meeting up someone when they ask me. Friendships and those close to us are a treasure. Those that are real friends will stick around when the going gets tough…when you are feeling down…and sad. If you neglect your friendships and just concentrate on something like your career, or earning money, or just one single relationship…and neglect the rest. If you lose that one thing, you have nothing.

I get angry at people like that because I was once like that…and still like that to a small extent. I know I need to change, it’s hard I KNOW. I am super guilty of just want to put my all into something. I am the first to compare myself to others and want to have what others have. Those who seem like they are succeeding in what they do, do you see all their sacrifices to get to where they are? Do you see their blood, sweat, tears, and the loneliness that they face?

I guess it all comes down to your priorities and your values. Maybe career is all you care about and is what you live for. But for me, I don’t want to go to the end of my life and realise, yes I got the job that I wanted…I had so much money…but I had no one with me in my final days of life.

I have a wall sticker on my wall it says, “The best things in life are the People we love, the places we’ve been, and the memories we’ve made along the way.”

and the other stick on my other wall says “If you can dream it, you can do it”.

Two very conflicting values that I hold strongly too. I want to live my dreams, but I also treasure every moment with my friends and family. Because they are truly the best things in life to me.