Expectations Vs Reality

Have you ever ordered one of those “Meal Prep Ready Kits? i.e HelloFresh etc?”, they contain all the ingredients and instructions to make the beautiful dishes that are pictured on the front of their brochures? You get super excited because you are going to end up with that awesome looking meal for dinner. Get that feeling? NO?  Well, anyway let me explain, how many times has it turned out like how you expected? The carrots you received became soggy in the fridge, your knives weren’t sharp enough to cut the vegetables up nicely like they did, you old stove cooktop doesn’t have accurate temperature settings, so your beef is a bit burnt. Your egg didn’t turn out that beautiful sunny way that you imagined it would be. You plate it up and take a photo of it for the sake of showing everyone the effort that you TRIED to make it like the picture. You write #Nailedit when you mean FAILED IT.

It not only looks shit, but it tastes shit too :(. Our great expectations can sometimes lead to great dissapointments as well. We hype ourselves up, this is the moment, this is the job we always wanted, this is the relationship that we always wanted… We all have this fake, unrealistic expectations that this is what you wanted…maybe…maybe just in your head. Perhaps some people are born more as dreamers than others. We don’t settle for what we have, we aren’t comfortable where we are…we always want…whatever is on the other side. Because the grass is always greener on the other side?  Isn’t it?  It really might be! Or it could end up being fake artificial grass. LOL.

 

What is the point of this post? I just wanted to say, there are so many expectations that I have had of myself…I turned the big 3-0 this year and it still amazes me that I still feel like the same kid that I was 12 years ago when I first finished high school. I had no idea what I would be doing, but I thought that by 30 I would be married, kids, stable job, house, dog, moved out… But, hey I am turning 30 in about 6 months and I certainly have none of that… Still single, have a pet turtle, still living with parents, on a contract job, STILL studying. But that is not what I am focussing on, I don’t want to be all negative and pessimistic. I think it’s okay to have expectations. Because I guess it gives you hope that things will change. I might be better off in 10 years than I imagined in my head and do you know what? I have realised some of those things, I don’t think I even necessarily want! It’s just that the people and environment have bred me to believe that’s what it takes to become an adult and to be seen as an adult by others.

Marriage? Maybe. Kids? Probably not. House? Yes, if I can still travel too…the loan is like a chain to my geet though :(. Dog? Yes, but I MIGHT even settle for just a cat, stable career? That’s a bit boring… I get bored in one job for too long :(.

Maybe our mindset changes, maybe we as people are just changing. Whatever it is, I am just saying it’s okay to not be where you thought you would be. Because you wouldn’t be where you are now if you didn’t walk the path you took.  Wow look at me trying to be philosophical and shit, but anyway, that’s my random rant for this week.

 

Thank you and Stay safe!

 

 

Not Everyone is cut out to become a Parent

Once a couple has been married a few years, the natural questions they most commonly will be asked is, “So when are you having kids?”. Our current society has this expectation of young couples to start families, ASAP. However, we are often forgetting that life just gets busier and busier. People are more focussed on building their careers, travelling the world, and doing other great things, it’s hard to stop and try to fit having kids in there. I solemnly believe that having kids is not everyone’s cup of tea…It might be the right thing for one couple, but shouldn’t be expected for every couple out there.

 

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate kids. I absolutely LOVE playing with my nephew or other people’s kids. I used to serve as a Sunday School teacher for many years…people know I love kids and I am good with them, but that does not necessarily mean I will or want to have my own kids. There is a difference in playing with kids during their happiest times and not having enough sleep for the last 3 months because your kid will not stop crying in the middle of the night. There are so many things that are more important in my life at this time and kids don’t fit into the equation. I am working in two jobs, studying a graduate certificate, and also working on this blog, and ideas for my book. I just can’t imagine having time to fit in kids as well and I think that is absolutely fine. Right now, I am still saving up money to buy my own home. I don’t know how I will be able to afford to raise a child, let alone be able to send them to school, and pay for all those additional expenses. Not everyone will make a great parent, some parents are too selfish and won’t look after their kids properly and this leads to some kids getting abused, blamed, and neglected, their parents shouldn’t have kids. Just because you gave birth to a child, doesn’t mean you will always love them and this is why so many kids end up in foster care, orphanages, and on the streets. 

 

In saying that, I have friends whose biggest goal and dream in life are to become a great mother or father. They feel like it is their life purpose to have kids and to make sure that they turn out alright. The human population would slowly die out if we didn’t have kids, it means there will be no younger workforce to look after the elderly and to take up laborious jobs that older people can’t do. The younger generation is our future and I agree it is important to have kids, but the world is already overpopulated in a way and in developing countries, it is a big issue and that is why China implemented the ‘One-Child Policy’ for a period of time to reduce overpopulation in China. Parents and Grandparents often encourage their children and grandchildren to produce offspring because that is what their grandparents and parents wanted from them. Yes, it is good to have kids, but not everyone should have them.

 

I believe you need to have a calling to be a parent. It’s not for everyone and it is not for me. I love kids, however, I can’t imagine revolving my whole life around the raising of the child and blaming myself if they didn’t turn out well. While the majority of heterosexual couples will probably end up having kids, I think it is absolutely fine not to have kids and instead chase your dream career or other aspirations.