Big things, small things, decisions… risks, investments..friendships, relationships, money, time, study, work, career….goals and dreams.
If only we were able to do it all and achieve it all… Sometimes you feel that one life-time is not enough. You feel like there is much to chase after, yet you also fail to appreciate what you have achieved already and what you have.
Sometimes I feel regret at what I sacrifice in order to get closer to what I want to achieve. I question myself, is it worth it? To be so driven towards something that gives you temporary joy when you achieve. I am somewhat afraid that when I finally reach the goals and final destination to where I want to go, I fear it won’t make me as happy as I had hoped.
This fear… will it stop me from trying? I think I will regret most not trying hard enough. But even though i am striving towards my goal…I am also trying to pursue my career goals… and then there’s my bucket list of things I wanna do before I am 30.
I think I am going through what I call a “one third of life crisis”. Not sure what I want, but everyone around me seems to me talking of marriage, getting married, having kids, buying houses… and then there’s me.. not sure what I want to do. I am sure I am not the only one who feels that way though… life is meant to be more simple than we make it. We complicate it by over thinking, by worrying about what hasn’t happened yet… or worrying that something will never happen.
FOMO is so real. I try to avoid it, aside from Linked In and a fake FB account.. I don’t go on social media. But even in the brief moments I have gone on these apps…I’ve managed to make myself feel bad.. I compared myself to this person because they got into medicine this year… oh and this one got a “Senior Pharmacist” position, even though I graduated first!! Or this one got into the hospital residency program…so much to compare myself to…you get my gist. I know I am supposed to feel grateful for where I am, so many would kill to be in my position..two well-paying jobs… good work place… mostly good colleagues…
But sometimes, your brain just shuts down and just wants to run away from it all and just have a break, before your break.
I’ve recently become more interested in becoming more mindful and aware of what I am doing through meditation and attending yoga classes. This post is sort of a follow on from my previous post about finding your ‘purpose’ in life. One of those purposes I listed was experiencing certain sensations or feelings which make you feel ‘alive’.
Sometimes, you can feel like life is going by, day after day, week after week, month after month and you feel like you haven’t been present at all. If someone asked you what you ate for breakfast, you can’t even remember anymore! Probably the same thing you always do… Weet bix crunch or wait did I even eat breakfast today?
Anyways, a lot of people say they feel like they live when they go on holidays or when they go away to some beach and relax. For people suffering from mental or physical illnesses, it is sometimes good to try ‘distract’ yourself to forgetting your problems.
Everyone does this to certain extents I believe. I’ve had a brain storm of different ways I believe people distract themselves from reality.
1. Living in denial, just pretending everything is okay. Having false hope is better than no hope? Having temporary amnesia…problems? What problems?
2. Moving their body! This can encapsulate (just wanted to use this long word) things like dancing, exercising, jogging or other forms of exercises and sports. For me personally, when I am doing Zumba or hip-hop I feel like I can forget myself for the moment and just focus on trying to not look like a flapping bird flamingo.
3. The wonderful world of art and music! Whether they lose them-self in an art gallery or artistic indie film, art was formed to represent a world that might not exist. This also includes animation, movies and dramas. If I don’t like where I am, I rather lose myself by imagining that I am someone else and live someone else’s life. Some songs also can take me away to another place, whether to a particular memory or specific time when I heard that song. Beautiful music is like dessert for the soul. When you attend the concert, it feels like you are in another world, staring at your favourite idols on stage!
4. Similar to the arts, literature is also a great way to escape. Whether you are a reader, writer or both, this is an excellent way to escape from reality and to lose yourself in another world. You can be instantly transported into the realm of Harry Potter or into the majestic land of Frodo. You can spin stories of alternate universes that can only exist in your vivid imagination and creativity.
5. Pleasure and self-gratification. I guess pleasant experiences belong in this category, maybe you have eaten a delicious cake, got a sensual massage or had sex. Anything that pleases you and helps you forget the pain, or maybe you are addicted to the number of ‘LIKES’ you got on your latest Instagram photo.
6. *I just want to put it out there, I don’t support the use of illicit substances and their abuse of alcohol. I am just stating that this may be some people’s coping methods with stress and their ‘escape’ from reality.* Substances such as alcohol or drugs to numb the pain (*cue Linking Park-I’ve become so numb song here*). Sometimes when you can’t sleep at night or feel like you can’t escape from all the feelings, people turn to medications-sleeping tablets, tranquilizers or alcohol to be able to sleep and to relax and to help them sleep.
7. Sleep and the dreaming. I only recently learn more about Lucid Dreaming, basically this is basically where you teach yourself to realise that you are in a dream and then you can basically control what happens in your dream, instead of letting the control to you. I don’t know much about this topic YET, but when I do I will make another post on how to try have these lucid dreams. I believe it is a way that you can learn more about your sub-consciousness and to redo things in the past.
8. Charity and the addiction to doing good. People tend to forget themselves when they are so busy doing good to others. For example, if you have a gout in your toe, but you suddenly find yourself in a war-torn country, are you more likely to care about those dying around your or focus on your pain? I guess this can extend to the career driver people aswell, who are just so busy with work, they forget themselves.
9. Relationships-unhealthy and healthy ones. Sometimes people live for their relationships, whether mother and child, son and father or love etc. People live for the sake of pleasing or being with other people. A hug with the right person, dog or pillow could erase the troubles of the day. Or even a healthy relationship with you bed can help too!
10. Have you seen the free sky show in the evening each day? it is more beautiful and grander than anything that we could recreate by humans. Nature is beautiful, perfect and designed by a master. It often takes my breath away, when I give it a chance to!
Having a reason to get up each morning is important, having a reason to eat healthily and to exercise is important…Having a reason to breathe and continue living despite all that happens is important…I hope you see my point?
So, what happens if you realise you don’t know why you are on this earth? What if you are still lost and confused and not sure why you do the things you do?
Hopefully, this post will explore some common reasons why people live and why it should be based on many things and always be evolving and changing… 🙂
1. Some people live for their children or their future children.
They want to leave their legacy and invest the rest of their lives investing in the lives of their children, to help bring them up to be good and successful adults.
2. Some people live for their career. Career driven people may forsake other loves and interests in turn to pursue being the “best” or the “top” of their profession. These people could be astronauts, prime ministers, the wife of a Prince, an actor or someone who devotes their life solely on their work. People like Einstein…
3. Some people live to do good essentially. Similar to those who live for their career, these people however live their lives spreading love and goodness to those who need it. People who come into mind is Mother Theresa or Gandhi.
4. People who live to enjoy their lives . I guess they just live to please them self? They may have lots of money and like to spend it on lavish holidays, newest handbags or latest fashion. If you live to get the newest iPhone or apple watch, that’s cool and that is totally up to you!
5. Living for a spiritual reason. Some people find solace and find peace that they were put on this earth for a reason. This could be those who devote their life to serving in their church, temple or other religious place of gathering. Some may even be called to be evangelists to spread the gospel throughout the world, I guess this could be their calling.
6. Those who live for their hobbies! Some people in their spare time or hobbies, feel like they live to do them. For example, I have many friends who are obsessed with a certain sport such as badminton, volleyball or table tennis. This is the highlight of their week, this is where most of their friends are and where they spend a majority of their time at after work or school. There is nothing wrong to want to live to do these fun things. It is a healthy way to maintain your fitness and also to make new friends.
7. Some people live to look after their pets/animals. I thought I would add this one, in case you don’t see yourself having kids, but you might have 10 cats who depend on you to look after them, that is one important reason to live.
8. Live for those who matter to you, i.e. Friends, family and those who may look up to you. Our circle of influence is wider than we think! If people heard that you did something awesome like volunteer to help kids in 3rd world countries, that story can be passed to some family friends kids nephews cousin and they may be inspired to do the same! There is nothing wrong for living to see your friends and as it has been said before, life is all about the relationships you have. Whether you have a special someone or not, really good friends you can share with make life so much more colourful and meaningful. So take care to develop and care for your friends :)!
9. Live to make a positive difference in the world. This one is quite broad and encapsulates a few points that have already been mentioned. Whether you make an invention, discover a new drug or were the first to fly to Mars, I hope you aim high! Whether it’s small or big, all of us have left our imprint on this earth in some way or other. Whether you are a mother who gave birth to child who continued the line of the human race, or you were the important garbage collector who dutifully did their job to the gratefulness of others….everyone is important, big or small, recognised or unrecognised. Can I just put a note here, that a really good book I recommend you to read is ‘The Five people you meet in Heaven’, that explains this concept well.
10. To travel and experience different life experiences, like Sky Diving or eating delicious foods!! I personally love traveling around the world and learning about other people’s cultures and learning new languages. I hope I can go to every country before I die! It’s just so exciting and thrilling to leave on a holiday to a whole another world. Some people live to eat yummy foods around the world, just remember to check your cholesterol regularly!
These are some of the suggestions that I can think of to live a meaningful life, I am sure there are many more other reasons!
As I said, we can have more than one reason and I think it is better to have many reasons to live.
A great link that I found on this topic is this article: