I just spent like almost an hour researching something for someone I don’t know in another town, which has nothing to do with me and this is after I have had dinner and am at home. I think I have a problem switching off work.
I work in a mental health hospital dispensary, yet I get phone calls from around South Australia from people asking for advice about psychotropic medications. I would just like to clarify I am not a medication expert hot line, there are people who are paid simply to answer these medication information questions.
Yes, I might know a bit more about antipsychotics and other psychotropic medications than some pharmacists, but I am by no way close to a specialist of any kind in mental health.
When asked a question I don’t know, I get obsessed with trying to finding the answer and unfortunately there isn’t an answer as it was with this case.
I’ve just come off from 3 days of being on-call and being asked all sorts of questions that put me outside my comfort zone and made me think on my feet… So I guess an email about a question relating to long-acting anti-psychotics didn’t seem too bad at first. But unfortunately, I am not paid to just answer people’s questions all day and hence, I did it at home…not good, but at least I learnt a ton lot about antipyschotics!! Too bad it’s my last week at this mental health hospital.
Sometimes I wonder why I try so hard…
*lifts up glass of milk*. Cheers to new chapters.
The cogs of change are changing again and life as I had known it for the last 9 months , funny how it started as a 4 week gig. When did it change? When did I stop caring, stop striving, and lost my focus?
I think I did bring it upon myself…too scared to let go of what is safe and what is familiar and immerse myself into the unknown. I am not sure if that is partly the reason why I find myself in this predicament. But then ironically, I prove myself right. It didn’t work out, but at least I have a some form of security in knowing that I have the second job while looking for something new.
It’s scary. Not knowing what my future will be like. But hey, this has been happening every few months before a contract ends. I still remember the terror and anxiety I felt when my first contract was almost ending…I was worried did I make a good impression? I’ve always worked hard and did my best to be nice to everyone. But I guess when you so hard and with no recognition, you start feeling under appreciated, tired, stressed, and burdened. Too scared to complain because you want to be chosen to stay there, yet everyday feels harder than the day before.
This good bye was inevitable. There are regrets, but there are also moments where I had a confidence that I did not have before and I am proud that this difficult situation developed that in me. Standing up for my rights and of others is something that I strive to do. I think it has something to do with respecting yourself and speaking up when something things off or wrong. Working in a mental health institution has always been a goal of mine and I have fulfilled that and believe this was be a stepping stone into something greater.
Apparently, with this company there will be an exit interview…this is not something I have done before, despite working in so many places previously. There is so many things I want to say, but I need to be careful of saying anything too bad, because I need this people to be referees. There is never a way to win is there? Better to leave on good times than bad. I am both scared, yet also looking forward to a change of scenery. Bring on the last 3 weeks of full time work…
Stay Tuned for updates