Random Rants: Are you happy right now?

When you earn more money, do you get more stingy? Or do you become more generous?

I find that the more I earn…the more I spend…but at the same time, I also try to be careful with my money. It’s a ‘balancing act’…Earn more..can spend more…thus not saving more.

It’s a conundrum. It’s great you are earning more…but you also pay more tax…and then you end up with less than you initially imagined.

The ability to earn more…means you can afford to go on holidays in which you couldn’t before…do you take the time off and go on a holiday? Or do you keep saving and saving until one day..you can’t work anymore?

Such is life…I guess you have to choose whether you are happy, satisfied with how much you have.

You could be poor and happy. You could be rich but sad.

So many decisions to make…Do you take the risk to do a job that offers you one-two month contracts at a time, with no guarantee of ongoing work? Or do you instead continue part-time work …that also doesn’t offer you any more hours? But it is permanent. Or do you remain casual, which is flexible…but where you get pushed around by the big guys up there…When it’s busy they overwork you, when it’s quiet they don’t care about you and you get no shifts. The instability of life. Choices.

Such is life.

Nobody knows

Nobody knows what goes on inside your head

In turn, you don’t know what goes inside theirs.

We go through life guessing, assuming, and dictating what we think others are thinking. Little do we know how wrong or maybe right we are.

How can we know someone, better than we know ourselves? We could know someone, but maybe they changed or perhaps you were only seeing an act that they put on?

How do you really really know someone? I guess you can’t. You can just hope that you do and trust they are who they say they are.

Random rants: Hectic Lives

Do you ever stop and think about how you coped with things in the past?

I sometimes wonder why I get so many migraines, headaches, and sicknesses. Then I kind of get reminded that maybe I am not eating properly, not sleeping properly, and probably doing one too many things at once.

Stress is an interesting thing and it can change over time and comes in all types of shapes and sizes.

I was reflecting back on my undergraduate university days and remembered that every day was full of things to do.

I was studying full-time, and in pharmacy we had quite a lot of contact hours…we had practicals that were 5 hours long, workshops, lectures, etc etc. It was a hectic life, on top of that I also worked two days a week in a cafe for 3 years, a retail pharmacy for one year, and in a hospital in my final year. I remembered playing in a team for the weekly badminton competition, I also remembered being captain of my very own Vets team. Then there were the religious commitments I used to have, I was in the church band, and they had weekly rehearsals on Saturdays…as well as the actual ‘performance’ days on Sundays which took up most of the day. I used to spend almost every day before a test or an exam studying at uni until well after 10 pm..to then wake up the next day at 6:30am and do it all again.

 

I remember one day, before an important test..I was studying late at night at the university..revising.. and I got a phone call. It was my mum. She said Grandmother had passed away. I was in shock. This couldn’t be happening! Not now…I just can’t deal with it…I couldn’t study any more after that. I don’t know how I managed to make myself go to that test and do so well… In hindsight, I could have applied to defer that test if I wanted to…but I didn’t.

That experience woke me up a little, it made me feel all sorts of feelings. It made me feel guilty most of all. WHY didn’t I spend more time with my grandmother when she was alive? Why did I prioritise STUDYING so much? Why did I want to do well in university when I could have just got through with average grades…Why was I so afraid of NOT doing well? Of failing? Where were my priorities? I don’t know why I worked so hard and I don’t know if it was worth it? It’s so easy to get obsessed with things for me…I was obsessed with badminton…with music…with drawing…with anime…I don’t know. Passion? Entertainment? I don’t know. Honestly…now  I am probably just obsessed with working and getting money. For what? Do I think a house or holiday will make me happy? Maybe. Maybe for a little bit. But then what, I’ll be sad again?

I have to constantly remind myself, life is short. We don’t know when our end is. What will we regret when we are older that we wished we did more?

I ask myself this because there are many decisions we have to make. There are many pathways we could go…but it all takes risks…There are some many “I WISHES” and hopefully we can get to them before it is ‘Too late’ and anyways I am not even sure where this post is going anymore…

 

 

 

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Happy Mother’s Day~

It’s mothers day in Australia today…it’s a good time to reflect on what our mothers have or have not done for us…

I am not a mother myself, but I can imagine that being a mother would be an incredible experience and challenge. I don’t think anyone can be prepared for motherhood (or fatherhood), it is thrust upon you and suddenly you are in charge of looking after a vulnerable child.

I imagine there is quite a pressure that is bestowed upon you to be a a good example to your kid… I think by thinking about it in that way, I would feel more inclined to be more forgiving to things that my mother may have not done well when I was a child.

I think parenthood is a prime symbol for entering adult hood…paired with getting your own house, getting a full time job, and marriage…it just seems like the natural progression for being an adult. Saying that, I do know many do not follow this such plan and that’s entirely fine too. However, I do know that some people, no matter how long they have been a parent, will forever be a child at heart.

At my age now, my mother was already a mother of two children…That thought …sort of scares me…I can’t imagine having even one child at this age…It just seems like such a massive decision to make…to have kids…Because it’s not like a pet, where if things don’t work out you can possibly give it to a shelter or to someone else… Pets come and go…but children are for life…….!!!

I feel like I had super high expectations of my parents as a child…I wanted them and wished that they were someone who they were not…as a child I did not see them as just individuals who are older and wiser than me…I thought them as stupid, selfish, mean and they were NOT allowed to make mistakes in my book! A bit has changed since then, but more often than not, it’s hard to see parents as normal people…just is.. :O

 

What are your thoughts?

 

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Controlled by the Small Things-Random Rants

It occurred to me the other day, that humans are very similar to robots. Push this button, they will do something, show a light and they will move, show a different one they will stop. We obey signs that tell us how fast we can drive, to watch out for ducks, or to give way to other cars…without all these signs everywhere, life would supposedly be chaos.

I remember when I was visiting my mother’s rural town in China…They had no traffic lights back then…it was just go-in an hope for the best… I remember seeing a poor mans cart of fruits topple over…in the middle of the street…amongst people that just continued moving on with their lives…I remember how sad I felt at that time..I felt so sorry for him…yet I was on my uncle’s scooter riding in the opposite direction.

Do you ever feel like you ought to do something…but you really don’t want to…so you don’t…but then someone else does it…and you feel super guilty for not offering to do it?

I am guilty as charged.. That’s how I felt the other day…So there was a farewell party at work for someone who was leaving…and before I went downstairs with a colleague, we passed another colleague who was on meal monitoring duty… As I passed by, I told her about the party downstairs..and she said she might head down there since she was finishing soon…it crossed my mind that I should offer to take over her monitoring since I was scheduled to finish later than her…but at the same time I was like…but I really don’t want to and I want to get to that farewell…and I turned to leave…but then my other colleague who was going downstairs with me…turned and asked her if she wanted us to relieve her.. I felt major guilt..I did not do what my instincts had said was the right thing to do.

I don’t know even how my rant got to here..

Anyways, on a side note..I have began the great Kondo style declutter of my room ! I should have taken before and after photos… but honestly I hide all my stuff in closets and boxes. But the damage so far is five full garbage bags of clothes donated to charity…They were new and nice clothes I Donated..not crappy old ones..it’s a bit hard parting with it…but if I am not going to wear it, isn’t it better to go with someone else who will appreciate it more??

More on this decluttering topic later.. I have learnt a lot of things just from cleaning my room! Marie Kondo sure is onto something. I’ve started reading her book and am 3 quarters way through…its an amazing book- highly recommend!

 

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Would you rather? *Random Rants*

Have you ever thought why players like to be players? As in those who don’t want to commit to one person in a relationship and like to see new people all the time?

I believe I am an optimistic pessimist…if that exists ..I can see the good AND the bad things in every situation..

SO in this particular scenario..

A player gets the thrills of 100 first dates…gets excited for meeting the girl/boy for the first time…excitement of finding out about this new girl/boy. It’s exciting when you do everything for the first time. You go to exciting new restaurants, see movies, try something you never have done before…you learn a lot of things from these 100 first dates from 100 people. The downfall is, that you fall in love easily-and get your heart broken easily. There is no one that’s going to stay by your side..because it’s always changing…You don’t have deep and meaningful connections…

or…

Alternatively would you rather have 100 mediocre dates with the same person? Perhaps  you like this person…or perhaps you are just tolerating them..because you’ve been together for so long already.. Maybe your dates have gotten boring…or maybe you don’t even go out anymore…it’s just Netflix and chill all day everyday. Sure, you’ve found stability, loyalty ..but won’t you get tired of the seeing the same person day in and day out?

 

What would you prefer if you had a choice?

 

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The Art of introducing yourself

I read in an article somewhere about how introduce yourself to others in a way that they would remember…and basically it made me question myself and my interactions with people that I have not met before.

Why do we like to assign people to certain occupations and things that they predominantly do to contribute to society, be it a student, teacher, or doctor. Does knowing someone’s occupation really help us to get to know someone better? Or does it help us categorise that person into a certain category..? I.e. They are librarian-they must be a nerd, engineer they must be good at numbers…chefs- hopefully good at cooking!?!

Should we change the question from”What do you do for a living?” To “What makes you feel alive?”

What if you weren’t working? There was a period of time where I took a break from work and study.. and I super avoided meeting new people.. coz then I would have to tell them how I wasn’t studying or working.. and they would be like so what do you do with your time? And in that case you talk about your hobbies, interests, sports etc. But in a way, you are also made to feel somewhat inferior or embarrassed that you may seen as “not contributing to society”.

People choose to spend their time differently and sometimes you may feel tempted to judge or criticise their time, as I do… but hey just cause you don’t think someone gaming 13 hours a day is being productive, you don’t know… maybe they will be a game changer in the future..? Maybe?

 

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