People are so unreliable

I’ve pretty much all but given up relying on people. It seems like everyone is fickle, unreliable, and do not take responsibility for their actions. It’s been waves of disappointments on disappointments. I am just highly disappointed in so many people. It’s so frustrating for me, that my life is made harder by unreliable and inconsistent people. I really hate people honestly. At the end of the day I am still a person, so do I hate myself too? I should just become like them. Unreliable. Useless. And a liar. It is what it is I guess.

Reflecting on Growing up

Having moved out of my home town and into a new city for over a year now. I can’t even imagine my life back in Adelaide. So much has happened. So much has changed. So many ups and so many downs. What does the future bring? It’s all up in the air. What do you want to do? What so you want to go?

Do we even have a choice? Just gotta keep going and go with the flow. What are plans anyway? Covid is always here to disrupt them 😒

Slow down

A patient of mine told me to, SLOW DOWN. My job gets repetitive after doing the classic antibiotic and pain killers talk for the 100th time during this rotation.

I haven’t realised that I have gone 100 miles per hour, until a person from a non-English speaking country told me to “SLOW DOWN”. And I stopped, I really do go TOO FAST. Maybe due to the workload, partly because I am an inpatient person. I always want to be fast, effective, and try to do everything. But, I realised, what is the point in doing all this? To achieve everything so soon… to work yourself into a sweat trying to bend your head over for someone who really doesn’t care?

My goal from now on, is to slow down, take a deep breath and ask myself, “Why am I rushing”? What for? Am I late? Then I should change my habits and start being early. Am I not going to get things done? Then maybe it’s time to ask for help or see what else can be streamlined, prioritised to be done later.

Life flies by, and then you realised you haven’t even stopped to smell the flower, enjoy the food, make some friendships. What happened to me that all I became was someone so focused on goals, achievements, and I slowly became someone without a soul, perhaps coming off rude, and a loner.

Bucket list for 2021

I have started reading a webtoon all about bucket lists…but I realised I never seem to keep track or remember what I put down…

So my list for the remainder of 2021 is to:

-Take classes to learn a new instrument! Recently I have taken an interest in the Japanese harp-like instrument, the koto…I have enquired about classes.

-Play a new sport! The only sports I play now is Badminton…and I guess when you are super comfortable with a sport, you might not want to try other sports.. well for me anyways. After asking my friends, I found out a colleague who plays table tennis and have contacts/places to play….

Work on my personality, in particular-to treat everyone like a friend. Not a close friend, but like a friend. A recent random encounter with a rude person, made me reflect on what kind of person I am and what others may perceive I am. But, like someone once said, you never know who you are being rude too.

Travel somewhere I’ve never been to before. This one, I kinda have done on my own to Phillip Island and hopefully I will make my way up to the snow this year??

Assertiveness. I am always saying yes, to the point I get angry and grumpy about it. I overthink too much about what others may think of me. I am going to practice saying no, and I’ll start with small steps and saying now to people wanting to steal my weekend shifts 😒😒😒…I need the money too!!!

Be a better friend to my existing friends. Being there for them, spending time to catch up with them, and overall just strengthening existing friendships. Both in Adelaide and Melbourne.

A decision on a house….!! By the end of this year …hoping to either.

1. Have a mortgage and living in a house/apartment in Melbourne / have saved up 100k by end of 2021 for a deposit

2. Investment property in Adelaide

3. Moved out to a bigger place that allows pets/own furniture

I think this is all that comes into mind at 11pm on a Weeknight. Have you made a bucketlist for yourself?

Shower thoughts #1

If you saw someone talking to themselves when no one is around, normally you would think they are a crazy, Psychotic, schizophrenic, delirious person.

However… thanks to the creation of podcasts, phones, and the internet.

Now you can talk to yourself all you want and no one will think you are crazy 🤪🤪😌😌.

Check out my podcast, link below.

Self-fulfilling prophecies

Have you ever been a negative nelly and you believed something bad was going to happen, and when it did you announced. “I told you so!”

How much did our attitude to that problem, situation contribute to what happened?

If you always feel like your partner is going to chest on you, so you are suspicious of every female friend they hang out with…and you accuse him of flirting at every opportunity. Maybe your behaviour contributed to his decision to cheat. He was called a cheat, so might as well do it right?

I am not sure if I am making any sense at all.. I woke up around 5 and couldn’t fall back asleep… I was too cold. Most of the time, I am too hot when I sleep. Life is so hard.

P.S. todays cover photo is of some Frozen Taiyaki I found in my local Asian grocery store :0 $3 for 5 mini ones. A bargain 🤣🤣. I put two in the air fryer for about 5 minutes and it’s super crispy and DELICIOUS. Unhealthy probably but delicious. I am craving one now.. but its like 7am. Lol.

Anyways, in conclusion. We have to acknowledge that we have past preconceptions and assumptions about people and their behaviour. Because men and women are not all the same. Stereotyping people and situations doesn’t help. It should make you more alert, but sometimes the ending can be different. And hence I end thid somewhat sleep deprived chat here.

Is it being lazy or being efficient?

Today I managed to do a weeks worth of cleaning in one day. I was recording in a voice message to my mum what I did today.. and it was a lot (imo)..!

Woke up. Had breakfast. Then took the first load of laundry of undergarments downstairs. waited half an hour or so then took the next load, work clothes -on delicate mode- and put the undergarments in the dryer. Repeat x5. As I was hanging up the work clothes I get a call from my Aunty who was checking to see if I was alright…

After the call I try to do some study.. but I am hungry again :(. So it’s time to cook from all the left over ingredients I bought last week! So today and tmoros menu consists of frozen eel (soo delicious), frozen fishballs, frozen mixed veggies ( so colourful), fresh bokchoy x3 (coz its cheaper), 2 onions, half a garlic, half a box of smooth tofu, left over noodles…and voila! 4 or so meals are done. It tastes good too. You can’t really go wrong with these ingredients. I left of mess after cooking (and eating) as per usual.

So I started wiping down the kitchen bench.. then I realised the floor was dirty.. so I got out the good old two in one mixed head mop.. sprayed some disinfectant and water. Well, one thing led to another… I had the spray out already.. should I just clean my toilet and shower today instead of Sunday? It means tmoro I can just relax… hmmm anyways. So I ended quickly cleaning the bathroom too.. I don’t think I did as thorough as the week before.. but I’ll survive🤣🤣🤣 always feels sooo nice to have a clean toilet, clean clothes, and clean kitchen bench. My sink is still full of dishes tho 🤣🤣🤣…

Some of my colleagues are horrified to hear how I only clean once a week…but hey I live on my own and the mess is my own. If I can live with it, then it’s fine right? As long as no one else is affected 🤣🤣🤣imho.

It is okay to have burger rings for breakfast

…every now and then anyways.

Woke up feeling shi* this morning with a splitting headache… my mouth has been super dry lately and I suspect it had something to do with the Asthma Preventative Inhalers I take… I do rinse my mouth out after each use.. but I still managed to get something called Oral Thrush 😦 thus is basically a fungal infection of the mouth which causes your tongue and maybe the side of your cheeks to become white and patch.. and for me … it’s hard to swallow and in addition to that I have several mouth ulcers…

I don’t think I’ve been taking care of myself as well as I should… it’s hard. We are in the middle of a pandemic and in stage four lock down in Melbourne… I have to follow by the rules.. and that means only been able to eat and drink during designated break times… which often ai will skip if it is too busy. Stress sucks :(.

But anyways, I digress. So I was feeling shi* this morning and because I woke up several times in the night.. I slept in till about 11am? My mouth was super dry and I was always thirsty, even though I drank water! My appetite wasn’t there anymore… I just craved something soft and tasty. I looked in my cupboard.. and ALAS. The Burger Rings which I got on sale for $1 at Woolies.

Should I? It’s breakfast for goodness sake…. screw if. Imma adult now and if I want to have Burger rings for breakfast .. I am going to have it. For those who might not know, Burger Rings are these ring shaped (clearly) orange/brownish delicious snacks packed with Burger Flavour (whatever that is). They are sooo addictive and tasty. I demolished a whole bag 🤣🙃. Guilty pleasure. Yup. Did it hurt my ulcers? Yup. Was it good for me? Nope. Do you think I would do it again?. Yup. But everything in moderation and I don’t have any left anyways..

Anyways, I better sleep.. big day tomorrow ..training is over and the real Residency starts. Wish me luck and also please remind me to buy some oral anti fungal drops…!

P.S. cover photo is of the Japanese Curry I cooked today which I will eat for the next few days 🤣🤣🤣

Mask wearing evaders

I went for a walk today and saw a man standing still, not wearing a mask, and using his phone. I try to evade him, he is clearly not exercising but is wearing sports gear as if he was. Lame. Mask evaders, hope he gets fined.

I guess if anyone is caught outside not exercising, they could always just say they are going grocery shopping.

Where are the social distancing police when you need it? :0.

Other than that, the situation seems to be getting better. I ordered Uber Eats for the first time!! Since buying frozen eel…I am obsessed with eel.. it’s so delicious. 🤤 I finally got paid on Thursday! I guess this is my small private celebration 🎉..

Spilling Water on your laptop

So I bought some white rice the other day… brown rice is great, but it takes about two hours to cook in the rice cooker… well anyways, as you can see I am putting it to good use. As the responsible and clumsy me managed to spill my water bottle over the laptop.

I googled how to dry the laptop.. and apparently I have to wait a few days to dry it… before I can use it. 😭…

Other than that, I went to the Asian grocery for the first time… it felt like an outing… ! The supermarket is sooo huge… and I couldn’t find anything.. but still managed to buy quite a lot of frozen foods! Hopefully it will be healthier than the chinese pork sausages I have been using in my fried rice.

The Chinese pork sausage is so nice with the fried rice!! But so fatty .. cry.. other than that I am going to try do the 2 Week Ab Chloe Ting challenge xD.. hopefully can get a flatter stomach 🤣🤣🤣

Will report in 2 weeks on how I go…

How to fix the lock on your door

Had a really anxiety inducing event today…I going up and down the building and because my door doesn’t shut properly… (it keeps blowing open). I have to lock it each time I leave.. I think I somehow wore out my key so much that when I was about to go for my walk…I realised the key wasn’t able able to lock the down. I was thinking… I am soo screwed if someone comes in and steals all my stuff :(. Granted, I honestly don’t have much… but it’s still stuff I use!! And need!!

Using my quick thinking skills I set about seeking answers from the genius Dr Google…and the Dr didn’t fail me. Apparently I need something called WD40 , which is basically a lubricant spray…unfortunately I would have to leave my door unlocked until i came back with some WD40.

I walked to the nearby convenience store, grabbed some snacks, and awkwardly asked someone putting stock on shelves. “Do you have WD40?” …and he said “No, sorry”. Damn. i asked myself “Do I still buy the snacks?!?”… I mean they were mostly on sale, why not. Anyways, lame. It means I will have to drive out to the bigger supermarket to grab some.

So one facemask change later (man does it become super moist from some light walking!) and a car trip to the supermarket!! I get my WD40.and $30 more worth of fruits, snacks, and veggies. Sigh. Why can’t I go to the shop and just what I need?! Why Am I so enticed by all the sales and the things I probably don’t need but want?! Anyways. That will be keep me okay for a few days.

Back home now. Luckily it looks like nothing had been stolen..:0. Rice cooker. Check laptop check. Big ass bin. Check. Anyway, Here was the deciding moment whether it works or not. The directions were, spray a bit into the key holes and then wait a few minutes. So i waited. Then i went to putting the key into the lock and tried to lock the door .. no luck dammit.

I open Dr google again. Searching, “Do I need to spray lubricant on Key too?”. Indeed I do… apparently after spraying it, I am supposed to put the key in and out of the lock so that the lubricants coats inside the lock (where my initial spray obviously hadn’t managed to enter into). Alright I twisted the key in and out. Please work I prayed to no one. I really didn’t want to call the Real estate agent for something like this… on a weekend..

And Hallelujah. It worked. And that, folks was the highlight and adulting milestone passed today.

TLDR: Always have some WD40 around.

P.S. minor set back today was, I washed all of the four towels I own and they are still wet, so I am going to have to shower using wet towels. BUY MORE TOWELS has been added to my ever growing TO DO LIST.

Things you don’t know until you move out

It’s almost been two weeks since I moved from my hometown, Adelaide, and made myself across the country to Melbourne. I’ve decided to make a list of things I didn’t/still don’t know since I have moved out…

  1. How to get rid of stains on your chopping board. Throw it away! JOKES, it doesn’t even belong to me. I have lots of orange stains from those stupid carrots I cut.. I looked on the wizarding website, Google about how to get rid of them..Apparently, a normal sponge (which a common man likes me owns) can’t get into those knives made cuts in the board, hence it gets stained… Apparently, bleach, baking soda, or hydrogen peroxide will help get rid of the stains. All which I don’t own…and maybe I should get.
  2. Ice builds up in the freezer for no known reason. When this happens at home, I don’t really notice. But when you are living on your own, you question everything! This fridge came with the apartment I am renting, so it is quite old and NOT frost free like most new fridges sadly… I looked up Google and it doesn’t seem like there is an easy fix…it could mean that the fridge seals may not be working as well as they are supposed to hence the ice building up inside…I’ve just been picking the little ice off when it gets long enough..reminds me of a little winter wonderland…xD…
  3. How to clean a toilet. Properly. In my limited experience of cleaning toilets back in Adelaide…they were reduced to spraying and wiping the surfaces of the toilet back at church…and at home putting some bleach in the toilet bowl..flushing and using the brush to clean the outside lol. ew…and then letting it dry. Yups. Needless to say, not very clean. Luckily, there are lots of youtube videos showing the right and proper (?) way for a better clean toilet.
  4. GROCERIES. Sigh. I ‘ve mentioned it before…but it’s important to sort of figure out what you need and reduce the number of times you need to go to the groceries…is it urgent? if not, wait until the next grocery shop time! I guess ideally you should make a list of things that you might need every week, so you don’t forget.
  5. Different types of linen and bedding. Prior to moving out, I only knew of pillowcases, quilt covers…and the thing that goes on your mattress. Didn’t know the name of the thing that goes on your mattress…but the one at home always had elastic around it. I found out since then, that is called a fitted sheet…and the one that DOESN’T have an elastic is called a Flat Sheet. LIFE CHANGING! I was never able to find online what I wanted to buy because I didn’t know what they were called… I’ve also learnt the importance of mattress protectors…and did you know you were supposed to flip your mattress every month or so to even out the wear?!!? I will be honest with you, I have not done that once in my 29 years of life. I tried flipping the mattress that came with this apartment…saw the other side had this huge ass brown stain…maybe it was blood?!?! Murder?!?! OMG ?!?! I don’t know..and thought. NAH. I am good. I will just leave it on this side… It would be nice to buy my own new mattress.. hmmm…$$ though…
  6. Never knew what fabric softener was until I moved out. Never used it… apparently, it makes your clothes softer and easier to iron after a wash :O. So far, I haven’t ironed anything that I’ve washed since I got here..but we’ll find out after I start work tomorrow!
  7. Less is better than more. While cooking..always only add a little bit of seasoning, TEST TASTE IT. Then add a little more as needed… Being too confidence and adding wayyy too much at once (like I do) makes it overseasoned and you can’t really fix that…
  8. Never realised how dusty the floor surface gets. To be honest, back at home, I rarely checked the vacuum cleaner to see how much dusty I have picked up after a vacuum…But since I am living on my own with a small stick vacuum…I have to empty the small canister quite often…and BOY am I surprised at how much dust there is after each vacuum!! I suppose dust gets in from your shoes…from moving stuff around..and opening the windows. hanging clothes to air…DUST IS EVERYWHERE. I am dust produced. LOL.so very important to get a vacuum when you live on your own…so you can discover how disgusting of a place you live in!
  9. You don’t need a can opener. We always had one at home…but honestly, I can’t remember the last time I used one. I don’t know why I ran out to buy one in Melbourne… I don’t even have a need to use it!
  10. Recycling and being eco friendly can be fun. I have never been so crazy about recycling things until now…If it can save money and be useful…why not..! I can’t say I am pleased with all of my creations, but hey, some are coming in handy…Like my placemat, my stationery and pen containers, recycle bill, bin, mouse pad..

As I write this at 9:40am local time…I have already finished one load of washing and put a second one in…soon I will put the third lot in..! I am trying to get all the laundry out of the way as I probably won’t have time during the week to do it.. 😦

Wish me the best of luck tomorrow for my first day at work! I will be getting a Photo ID badge..I presume…so I gotta make sure I look good for my photo xD. After going into work in the morning for a bit, I believe the plan is those that live nearby to work (i.e. me) will go home and use their computers from home to continue the orientation/training modules. It’s my first time working from home officially! I don’t think being on call counts?

I am both excited and nervous about starting all over again…in a new workplace..with new rules..new procedures…it’s time to dump out what I have been taught before and learn new ways of doing things…new software…staff…management… and I don’t even know how to do my timesheet. LOL. -.-”

Will hopefully have energy to update tomorrow on the first day of work!

*edit i think i forgot to post this on Sunday*?)*

(P.S. took this photo and the cover photo on my walk yesterday…soo pretty!)

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Things that I have found most useful since moving out

I can’t believe it has been one week already (almost typed one year) since I packed up all my stuff into my tiny little Toyota Yaris Hatchback and drove 12 hours over to another state in Australia. I have had to adapt and make do with what I have as best as I can. I am super grateful I have a credit card, as it allows me to make some large purchases without worrying about how I am going to pay for everything straight away.

Living alone is peaceful, but I have to admit it is a little lonely…I can spend days and hours without speaking to someone in real life. I have decided to compile a small list of things that I found most helpful when moving out.

  1. Get connected to WIFI. It helps give you peace of mind that when you video calls your family that you aren’t blowing all the credit on your mobile phone.
  2. Get a shower mat…it’s sooo cold going out of the shower at night!
  3. Get a pedal stool bin or automatically opening bin. You don’t know how better life is with a bin that closes and opens basically without you having to touch the lid. A swing-top bin is just NOT the same! It gets dirty easily and it won’t stop the odours from coming out of your bin! It’s just so convenient to have a pedal to open and close the bin, especially when cleaning out the sink or while cooking.
  4. Get some good sharp knives, they make your wrist and life so much easier! I just purchased my first knife today. Yup. It took only 29 years on earth to get this far…I had no idea that the cash register person had to double-check that I was over 18 before being able to purchase a knife! LOL. I got a Santoku knife, which is a type of knife really good for cutting things thinly and not having to rock back and forth. Who knew there was so many different types of knives out there with all sort of purposes?!
  5. Laundry baskets. Never appreciated them so much till now. Great place to store dirty smelly clothes.
  6. Kettles bring life. Makes coffee, tea, and instant soup…what else can I say?
  7. Hand held vacuums are the bomb. Easy storage..quick and easy. Makes vacuuming sort of fun and less of a chore.
  8. Paper towels are not just for wiping hands…they are for cleaning grease…lining draws..temporary placements… holding hot stuff. They are the best.
  9. Try to recycle everything that you can. Whether old bottles…cardboard boxes…containers..lids…rubber bands…they could come in handy someday.
  10. Be enviromentally friendly and also saving on the electricity bill at the same time! Try to heat up your house in other ways besides turning on the heater..i.e. exercising, cooking, or just wear more clothes so that you don’t feel so cold in your apartment. You could even make something warm to drink like soya milk or just drink hot water. Done.

 

Anyways, my brain hurts. I took a few montage style videos of my apartment block and the surrounding suburb today…I never knew HD camera setting on iphone is sooo nice! It makes me look like a semi-pro, even though I am noob. LOL once I figure how to to transfer to my laptop I might post it!

Finally Officially Moved in!

I am typing this on my laptop with my super slow internet hotspotted from my phone…Other than the room being extremely cold, I am okay with it so far…I’ll see how my first night here goes.

For dinner tonight, I had some leftover Charsiu from my aunty, I microwaved some of that instant brown rice, air fried some frozen veggies (bad idea..the corn started exploding lol), and some french fries (also courtesy of my aunt). Everything except the rice and veggies was chucked into the airfryer. I added a touch of ketchup and mixed everything together and BAM that’s kind like fried rice with out frying it (unless the airfryer counts?). That my friends was the first meal I have cooked (?) in Melbourne on my own.

I also had my first shower which was freezing cold and I super regretted only bringing two towels with me…and they aren’t big towels either! Fingers crossed they will be dry for the next time I need to use them … I need more towels..lol.. I realise I barely have anything…but I am trying to improvise and make do with make-shift items. I have made a few temporary bings out of cardboard boxes…I have used a dish towel to be both a placemat and a temporary dish dryer. As I don’t have anything to line my drawers with, I have used paper towel to hold my cutlery and knives so they don’t move every time I open the drawer.

My aunt and uncle gave me an old table they had sitting outside so I have brought that back and set it up..they also gave me an old tv..but, unfortunately, it doesn’t work…LOL…Or I just don’t know how to set it up…:(

I had some trouble figuring out how to use the microwave and I thought it was broken…LOl but anyways I did end up eventually figuring it out…the sink also was missing something to stop the water from being drained, but I looked around and found something that fit to stop it…also sadly that hand held-vacuum that was here…I just realised it doesn’t run on batteries and needs a charger…WHICH THE PREVIOUS TENANT didn’t leave behind so basically it’s junk and I already have a draw for broken shit. -.- why don’t they get rid of the broken stuff?!? LAME.

Today I also bottled my kettle for the first time..good to know it works. I’ve also been using the airconditioner…jsut cos its soo cold…I am scared of my electricity bill though :(. Asides from not having enough clothes hangers to hang my clothes…I am pretty much unpacked!

Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to explore a bit of the neighbourhood and get those supplies that I have been writing down in my phone…I need so many more cleaning supplies 😦 But where am I going to store it? I don’t have a laundry room sadly…

Lasik failure :(

I was so worried about post surgery complications, I didn’t even consider that the procedure would be a failure…

Prior to the surgery, I was given the choice to take some sleeping tablets to help “relax me”.. and of course I took it.. I was nervous as hell.. but little did I know what would happen next.

I don’t know how often this happens, but I was all gowned up with the hairnet, shoe covers, and ready to get lasik. I had to go through numerous stinging eyedrops, face disinfected, text over my eyes…and then they propped openmy eyes with something so I couldn’t blink.. that was a bit painful. I had to stare at a green light above me that sort of suctioned onto my eye. It was uncomfortable, there was drilling sounds, I was scared shitless. I think I knew something was wrong because the machine kept coming off and back on to my eye…what felt like an eternity later (but was probably a minute later), the doctor aborted the surgery. He had made two incisions in the flaps of my eye to try lift them, but apparently couldn’t because the shape of me eyes were weird. But mate, aren’t you supposed to check that pre-surgery? At that time I was too drowsy to say anything and really remember much.. I was taken to a recovery area with a ned.. and given an icepack for my now inflammed rye.. they were talking about there being bubbles in my eyes. WTF.

The doctor pulled me back into his room and tried to explain what happened, but he used all this medical jargon (about eyes) which I didn’t understand and was too sleepy to ask about. Why do they do that? After drugging you up telling you all this important stuff? He took out the after lasik pack which had been shown to me by a optometrist assistant prior to going into the surgery. He chucked away the antibiotic eyedrops and said “You won’t need this”. But what if I do? You have made two cuts in my eye! I can see the blood lines there and it freaks me out.

I can’t remember the last time I felt so disappointed, dissatisfied , disgusted, depressed, and yet damn angry. I have been knocked out the rest of the day. All that damn anxiety and dread leading up to the surgery day…

They also made me pay upfront BEFORE i had the surgery. What scammers. In the end they apparently “refunded” it to me on my credit card.. but honestly I can’t see it there yet…I won’t let them get away with that one. 😤😤😤

Some of my friends have told me to sue them for medical negligence. Whilst it sounds like s annoying and long-winded expensive process… I wouldn’t want anyone else to go through what I did and who knows how long my eyes will take to recover? They didn’t even tell me if I can wear contacts again.. do I have to wear sunglasses everywhere? Am I not allowed to wash my hair with shampoo? Which is what their information sheets say, but they didn’t write one up for botched surgeries.

A mixture of guilt and sadness also lies within my mind. Why did I want so bad to not have glasses? I guess they might be the safest option now…

-Sad