The World of Work

I think, innately everyone desires to have a nice work place..A place where you look forward to seeing your colleagues, a place with nice patients/clients and a place where you feel safe.

When one or more of these things are not there, it can make it a very depressing and difficult time…especially if you work and spend extended periods of time in the same place with the same people.

Difficult Colleagues:

I’ve noticed when there is someone I don’t like at work, I do my best to avoid them. I know, I know it doesn’t solve all the issues. But, if I can run away from confrontation I will..try my best… to run away…

In the end, it doesn’t really matter (cue Linkin Park sound track)…very rarely does it solve the problem…but by being more confident, by standing up for yourself and doing something about it…things can change. Well, I least I do hope so.

Difficult Clients:

I’ve worked/working in a few workplaces that deal with extremely difficult clients, whether drug seekers, criminals or just mentally disturbed…it can be hard! I’ve had to call the police a few times, threaten to and just been scared for my life. I get it, it can be hard and sometimes you wonder…is it worth it? Feeling scared all the time going into work…to get mentally, physically or emotionally abused by clients?

I hate retail. You feel like you have to constantly suck up to your customers or they wont buy your stuff! You have to please them and they can kick a fuss about absolutely anything and I hate that word “The customer is always right”. Because they are not.

Unsafe Workplace:

Unsafe work places are just hazards just waiting to occur…This could be unsafe because of the machinery/equipment at work…like having boiling water all around  you…carrying steaming hot hotpots… or slicing numerous amounts of meats with a dull blade. Unsafe work places can’t be happy places… 😦 If people are constantly getting injured or being affected by the toxic (literally) unsafe work place, it can’t be a very happy place to work in in my opinion.

 

Good workplaces can be a extremely hard thing find, so if you do find one, stick to it!

Otherwise, start your own business and work for yourself 😉

Kid vs Adult mindsets

I’ve been reflecting upon the difference in thinking of when I was child and in comparison to now (I was about to say when I was an adult…–..–“)

I am going to put my thoughts on what a kid Joy might have thought and what an adult Joy might think.

On finding their ideal partner:

KID : I want to fall in love with a tall, handsome, rich blonde eye blue eye man with a six pack. He will also have a golden retriever and possibly be a prince.

ADULT: I just want to find someone who will accept me for who I am and how I look and act. That accepts the way I look like slob that I am at home and when I have no make up on…

On Beauty:

KID : I wanna look like an adult…I wanna make my skin super white and cover up every blemish..! I wanna do eyeliner to make me look older…fake lashes..permed hair and red lipstick..high heels…

ADULT: OH GAWD I need to buy this expensive as MAC primer, blue and BB cream to make my face look like it has no make up…! Actually, stuff this…rather just be insecure about myself, how about I just learn to love and accept myself for who I am and stop wanting an ideal version of me that I will never assatain?

On Fast FOOD:

KID : Mum said I can have Maccas if I don’t cry when I get my flu vaccination! I can’t wait..it’s sooo rare we get maccas! I am so excited. Filet-o-fish here we come!!

ADULT: OH GAWD this is the 3rd time I’ve been to maccas this week..! #$#$ I wish I had time to eat better food..?!?! Why does maccas have to be the closest restaurant to work?!?! Time to diet T_T

On Doggos:

KID : OMG I WANT A DOG PLZ CAN I HAVE A DOG PLZ . I promise to take it on walks everyday and pick up all its sheet!

ADULT: OMG I want a dog. BUT I don’t have the time to look after the dog at the moment. I want to be a responsible dog owner. T_T

On cars:

KID : I CAN’T WAIT TILL I TURN 16 and get my Ls! OMG I can finally drive! I am going to go out everyday and party! Finally I will be come a social butterfly and be the most popular girl in my friendship group! I am going to pick up all my friends in my mums car..ohohoho

ADULT: FML . I don’t wanna drive in this #$#$ heavy peak hour traffic. SIGH why didn’t I catch a bus? Why can’t someone drive me? Why do I have to pick up ______ again? DAMMIT this car… OH SHEET petrol is so expensive again..FML this car is so expensive to maintain…OH WAIT rego is due again..there goes another $760…and oh no service next month..$400++ oh sigh. Why is it so expensive to keep a car? I rather a dog instead. lols. woof.

On shopping:

KID : NOOooo I don’t wanna go shopping with you mum its soo boring…@@

ADULT: Oh gawd…I can’t stop buying things on eBay.com and amazon…HOW DID I SPEND SO MUCH MONEY?!?!?!

On SLEEP:

KID : NOoooooo I don’t wanna sleep! Its only 9pm!!!!!!! I wanna stay up and read my book…I wanna talk with my friends..I wanna…eat….

ADULT: I am so sleep deprived. I just want a day to do nothing but sleep.
FML I only get 5 hours of sleep if I sleep straight away..! SIGH why do I have to get up so early for work everyday. I am so tired…all the time..I am addicted to caffeine.

and last but not least…

On Work/dreams:

KID : I can’t WAIT TO GET A JOB and earn money! Then I won’t have to rely on the merger amount of money that I get free from my parents! I CAN’T WAIT TO BECOME AN ADULT…

ADULT: FML . I wanna quit my job. it’s too stressful, it wasn’t what I imagined it would be, the other staff are bullies, the pay sucks, the patients suck, my hours suck, my life sucks. I am depressed. OH GOD I NEED A HOLIDAY. STAT. Why does working life suck so much? Why does being an adult suck so much …can I be a kid again?

OH lol this isn’t all true! Just for lols…hahah I was just thinking…about how much we change huh? If we think about who we used to be as kids and who we are now, would we tell ourselves? It’s like we are two completely different people that have existed.

Is there anything that you’ve noticed that has changed in your perception of life from when you were a kid and has changed now that you are an adult? If you want to, please leave your comments on those things below!

Take care,

Joy to the World~

 

Time to get that 5.3 hours 13 minutes and 2 seconds of sleep….

Living the simple life

I think as we grow older…we get simpler..when we were young our dreams are so specific, unrealistic and most likely to cause more harm than good…

Being an immature kid, I would dream to be something that I was passionate about. I loved comics, writing fan fiction and drawing.. I was obviously going to be a manga-artist when I grew up! That was my ideal dream..doing something that I actually liked and enjoyed..that is the life… at least that’s what I thought would be the ideal life back then.

But as I went through school…I learnt that things for artists weren’t so great..it would be hard…you would be stressed..you would be pressed upon both sides…the article about the suicide of the hard working anime creators in Japan who overworked themselves to death…I just wanted to take what seemed to be the easy way in life…do what will give you a job and not what you love. With that mindset I dropped out of graphic design half a year in..not sure what step I should do next..I went to my second love, languages…in particular..Japanese language.

Then the doubts and my family around me told me, it will be hard to be a Japanese teacher if you aren’t even Japanese! You won’t be enough, you will never be enough.. //Cue Loren Allred- “Never Enough song” Here// ..with my doubts and the negativity weighing upon my shoulders..I decided to play it safe – to do a course I didn’t really want to do …but in the hopes it would get me a good job and a stable income …I did it..and I stuck with it…because at that time my Grandma (now passed on RIP), just told me…just do anything…it might not be what you want to be in the end..but just finish something! just complete at least one degree…under your belt…and I THINK then you can do anything.. Something like that.. well that’s how I interpreted it.

 

My grandma sadly passed away while I was doing my pharmacy degree..the day before a test ..actually.. Sometimes I am not sure if I want to thank her or resent her for me sticking with Pharmacy. I hated working in pharmacy…studying it was okay…and interesting..but in the real world..I hated it.. I loathed it. It made me depressed. It made me question my life choices and I was scared that I was trapped into something for life.

I forgot, that one decision that you made doesn’t shape and path the way for the rest of your life. Maybe it was that way in the past, but right now, in this age..we are given choices. We are given options…yes it may be hard, yes it won’t happen when you want it to and in the way you want it to. But I really do believe that if you choose to change your path, no matter how small or big from the one that you currently hate…you will head closer and closer to where you want to go. //insert a acute triangle here//

If you choose to stay on the same path…all you will do is keep complaining, keep dreading each day and keep wondering if it could be something else…is there more to life? //cue that song that goes “There’s gotta be more to life…dundundundun…more to life” // . Where was I again? You just got to take that first step, then the second and just keep going…I can’t promise you that it will be easy, But I can promise you that it will scary, exciting and it will lead you to where you want to go. If it wasn’t the right path, remember you can change again. No one said it was A to B. but it could be A to Z to W to X to F to J to O to Y to B. See what I did there? No one’s path is the same…so you don’t need to compare the path you are taking to the one those around you are.

You are you.

This is more so a message for myself than for anyone else. I am still trying to get to B, I am not where I want to be ..but thank God I am not where I used to be..

Peace and … J o y to the You ….<3.

 

Learning to let people down

Letting people down can be extremely hard for those with low self-confidence…this is my story

Continuing in the same mindset as my last post…I want to reiterate the fact that kindness is not a weakness…it is something that makes the world go round …but it comes to a point that..,you have to decide..that you have had enough. And it is time to stop people walking all over you. Whether you speak up in words, actions or in plans…just step up. 

 

Essentially we have to let people down. Because if we always say yes. Then of course they will continue to walk all over you, why? because you are basically grovelling at their feet.

 

I hate it when people say the words, “But XXX always does it this”. Well, la-di-da that;s them and I am me. I do things my way.

At the work place I do some locus work for, the clients are so used to getting a chewing gum after each dose that they receive… this chewing gum is not provided by the clinic but is something the normal pharmacist provides out of her own pocket. She is awesome right? But when she goes on leave for 3 weeks, does that mean I have to also follow her actions and buy gum for her? She was spoiling them….she would have had to go through at least 3 packets of gums/DAY for all their clients and their kids…

I know the pharmacist there always said yes to everything the nurses and doctors asked of her..even when she had shut down the computer and locked everything away…but is that what I have to do?

Well, to be honest I did…I did it for how many weeks, months ? at the other locations..I would stat well over 2 hours past the time I got paid to..

Then I remember a friend saying, when they do over time..without getting paid…it is like slavery.. modern day slavery…or volunteer work. I don’t understand how people, who know that you finish at 12…you stopped getting paid at 12…expect you to stick around…just so that they have less work to do…they don’t even ask if you are leaving…they present to you new clients at 12:15 and expect you to dose them..? Really?

Will you pay me out of your own pocket?

I am not trying to sound ungrateful or not be a team player. I just don’t understand how someone can make me feel so bad for actually leaving on time (even 10 minutes after finish time)…for the first time in forever?

Why did you make me feel so guilty and act like that? I am sorry if you didn’t tell me to prepare a late dose…am I supposed to wait around until things happen and then I get to leave? After12, it is your responsibility  to dose…you know the times…just coz the previous pharmacist was too nice and lenient..doesn’t mean I have to be ..

 

Anyways, awkwardly I left. Glad that I am not planning to go back soon. I drive 1.5 hours a day to get there for a lousy three hour shift. It is so freaking hot these days too. I am grateful that I get to meet up a good friend from uni there for lunch every now and then…I am also able to visit the Elizabeth crew there as well…the shopping is great. But if you asked me to cover there again, no thank you. In terms of my own mental health, drowsiness from the drive and waste of petrol..and work place issues..no thank you. I am good.

I am finally deciding for myself that I can no longer do seven days a week on end. I am just so tired…headaches ..migraines…why try chase more money?

To be honest, the more money I seem to earn./..the more I spend and hence this viscous cycle…I am going to earn less next month, but save more…I will have to budget better, eat at home more , meal prep and think about what I spend my money on more carefully. Because I really can’t afford to collapse or crash my car out of tiredness and lethargy.

I know I push myself too far..and too much…I hate letting people down..it just eats away my soul…and bothers me so much I have to blog about it!

but, I have to start somewhere and today I let down that nurse and that doctor, and yes they may hate me. but, I hope they also learn to respect that my time is valuable as well and that I am not just someone to be trampled and walked on.

Just gotta learn that we will let people down…

Have a Jolly Joy-some day~

p e a c e

Tortoise and the Hare

At the gym I go to, they were still open 24/7 over the Christmas/New Period but they stopped running the live classes…

This was a real struggle for me … as I force myself o go to the gym for those classes… so I really had no incentive to go…so I went like once a week.. and that’s mainly coz I am cheap and I hated seeing my membership fees being deducted from my bank account and realising they are getting free money…

Anyways, what I am trying to say is… I normally do not do weights and cardio work out by myself… I am someone highly motivated by having people around me working hard…hence love those classes…!

So I went to the gym twice over the holiday period.. On the first visit..I went on the treadmill… I was like .. hmmm this sure looks like a good way to get my 10,000 steps on my fitbit..!! So I started off slow 4.5km/hour speed.. up to 8.0km/h (not fast I know)… did that for about a minute or so (seriously out of breath…unfit 😦 ) and them took a bit of a break by slowing down to 4.5 km/h just to get recover my breath… coz tired..!! I did this for 20minutes… and was super tired.. I managed to do 2km distance in that 20minutes! Not bad..? For me 😂

On the second visit.. I was feeling really lethargic of late ( prob due to iron deficiency).. and I decided I wouldn’t do those speed intervals because the sprinting really takes the wind out of me… but I also hate walking really slow on the treadmill😭 I am a pretty fast walker…probably due to the fact I work in a lot of faced-paced environments where I cannot walk slow :(.. so I set it at a constant speed of 6.5km/hour.. so mid way between what I did in my first visit…

And it was great .. I didn’t have to constantly look at the little time and have to keep changing the speeds on the right up and down.. and I didn’t feel as exhausted and worn out at the end of 10 minutes.. And I did the same…! At the end .. I got the same result. 1km/10 minutes essentially!

But this way.. was better..easier and didn’t tire me out…

it was interesting how I feel like that can relate to me and how I have been living my life… I go through periods of extreme stress .. leading to anxiety, depression and mental breakdowns…to a point where I can’t take it amy more.. then I am forced to rest… my body shuts down in sickness .. and thats when I recover.. start to remember my health and my sanity again…

The reason why I’ve been working so hard for the last six months with no break (literally working 7 days a week for I am not sure how many weeks it is now)… is because I felt I was so behind in life… in comparison to my friends… those my age are getting married, have moved overseas to work… buying houses.. doing all this exciting stuff and what I feel is “adult” stuff.. and there was me… who blew my savings recklessly on an expensive holiday overseas… and on some scam medicine entrance exam course….I felt I needed to catchup by working myself to almost death -? Because I am so tired all the time, worn out… burnt out… sick so often and can’t even relax…get irritable… can’t eat properly.. don’t have time or energy to see friends…

I am asking myself..? Why do I meed to do all this sprinting to try catch up to everyone else? I am just going o get exhausted and need a really good rest-where I might have to stop work altogether for s break… because if I am constant with myself.. mot too much.. not too little.., I can reach that end goal without over exerting myself.. and still enjoy a good work out that is life…

Thanks for reading my weird analogies o life.. i literally wrote this at 4am because I woke up with blood running down my face from my nose… oops

Stay Joyful guys!

The evolution of the online dating<3

I would not call myself a trendsetter, or even someone that possesses the latest piece of technology..it was just by chance that when I needed a new laptop and was planning to get a MAC-the new MacBook Air came out..so I was like why not? *shrugs sheepishly*

ANYWAYS, online dating websites and apps have been around for ages…meeting people online (think Tinder, Ok CUPID, East meets East, bumble..) has always been a thing, but it still has such a stigma attached to it…because half-remembered quote from “Ralph Wrecks the Internet” – When something new comes along, the best thing for people to do is to fear it”.. something like that!

So..if we go back 18 years to when I was 10 years old (age reveal) and I made my first hotmail address which was something like sugar*****10@hotmail.com ..we used to all use something called MSN messenger! This is where online chats and adding random people on the internet became the new trend..suddenly …you could be whoever you wanted to be..!    You could change your name to Blonde_Hunk_with_Blue_Eyes or Sexy_Asian Chick_that_looks_like_Mulan_and find some random picture on the internet and pretend it was you…then you can proceed to what we now call “Cat fish” random strangers on the internet and pretend you are the love of their life, when you are NOT. True story, I have to confess my sister and I might have been chatting up a “young girl” and pretending to be a sexy blue-eyed blonde haired Australian lifeguard…but anyways…

This is before the world started caring so much about verified identity and privacy…when people said the internet was bad! Because young girls were being baited by old men behind the screens posing as handsome men, when in reality, for me it was the other way round.

I still remember playing Neopets obsessively for a period of time during my primary school days… and I also made friends on those guild websites..one guy called Ryan helped me build a website for my Naruto Guild…Another girl obsessed with Naruto, called Tiffany told me about her home town Canada, and at that young age I decided I would go to Canada to visit. It made the world suddenly seem smaller. I looked up the sky one day and thought to myself, somewhere on the other side of the world, perhaps in Canada, someone else is staring at the same sky.

In summary, the online digital world is changing…and why shouldn’t the way we meet people change as well? We can meet people not online in our proximity but interesting people all over the world with many fascinating stories…why limit yourself to those around you? What is to say that it safer to date and meet someone at a bar, where you know nothing about them in comparison to a guy you have been talking to for weeks online (and you’ve stalked their fb and insta to make sure they are who they say they are)..?

Why is there stigma surrounding online dating?

I realised myself, I have been really afraid to tell people I joined dating apps and I only told a few people. They didn’t judge..but I can see it in their eyes..When they asked, where did you guys meet?

Online is where we meet people with similar interests, buy stuff off them or find study groups…we’ve all done it before…there are actual people behind those screens…its not robots and they aren’t all serial killers.

 

But in saying that, it is always a good idea to let people know you are meeting someone online, have your phone on you (GPS on) and meet in a public place in day time…and make sure you have your own transport home and scapegoat excuses if you need to leave early… But yes, only meet after making sure that person is legit!! Stalk their fb…ask around and play detective. The more information the better…people that are real will act real, they won’t be ‘perfect’ you know? You will know…

 

I knew one happily married couple who met online like over 10 years ago..I’ve always assumed that that was a abnormality…I never asked what website..but I had my reservations..but hey..it worked..

 

But..I’ve always been somewhat traditional…I prefer writing traditional Chinese to simplified, I like writing and sending letters and cards than emails and I love receiving hand-written and made things…But at the same time, I am always open to trying new things that can make your life more interesting, better, and more efficient.

SO probably a ,year ago I decided to revisit my hobby when I was 10. I made an account on a dating website, but since I felt so ashamed-and didn’t want to get found out… and just wanted to try it for fun ( I wanted to see which other people I knew also used it!! haha) …I put a fake name..but being a but stupid I put a real photo (filters and stuff) on there..DOH..someone I kinda knew saw it and told a friend of mine…and I was found out…felt so guilty LOL..Coz fake name..I think I MAY or may not have also put some interests, languages and changed my ethnicity that was not true *Cough cough*..guilty as charged….but I am still the one behind the screen right? I am still real…but maybe not being as honest as I should…aint a good start to any relationship…

I talked to a few people..but the only one I almost met -some doctor from Melb- flaked at the last second…saying he was sick. I think it may have been due to the fact I invited two other people to join us for dinner (for our first meeting)….LOL yes I am super noob…I don’t do online dating remember ? Anyways,,, after that I was like screw this and deactivated the account.

Meeting people in real life is easier….or is it? Maybe it is for people that go out heaps…That enjoy partying, clubbing or whatever..but what about those introverts?

Those who hate loud music and don’t drink (or do drugs)! Also, they don’t really like meeting new people because it takes a lot of effort to make small talk.. and plus shy too. Yeah…fine… okay, people like me…to me…online dating feels safer,  I feel like I have more control…I get to find out a bit about these people online and ALSO you know that they are looking (most of the time) for a relationship too…and if they just want hookups-it’s usually written conveniently on their bio too..so you can swipe left for them -unless that’s what you want.

Suddenly you have an option to find the type of person you are looking for,  depending on what app.website you new using..it could be due to physical attributes (like height, ethnicity or body type..) or due to common interests… It’s interesting…because don’t you hate meeting someone new...and finding out that you have absolutely nothing in common and you don’t know what to talk about?

That’s me…I just…talk about the weather..yes lame..

ANYWAYS…to be honest, in my past relationships…at the start..it was always friendship and getting to know each other more online -through facebook messenger/watsapp/text a lot more than meeting up…

There is always a risk that you will get ghosted (ignored) by potential new connections..and it does hurt ..ALOT.. but if they ghosted you, it doesn’t reflect anything on you- it’s them with the problem…it is polite to let someone know if you aren’t interested instead of leading them on.

There is a risk of being cat-fished…I mean …people age right? Some people I know put photos of them 10 years earlier…when they were skinny and handsome…WHEREAS when they finally send a recent photo they are about three times wider around the middle, acquired glasses and lost some hair…YES u know what I mean..

In my opinion now..some tips on online dating (not that I am a pro)

If you are really serious about online dating, dare to be yourself. There is no point in trying to be someone else…because if you are there to meet your soul mate, don’t you want them to accept you for who you are and not what they think you are?

it is tiring pretending to be someone else that you aren’t. trust me… I learnt this the hard way.

They will eventually find out anyways!!

 

No point putting up a fake picture and then disappointing them when you meet up, if you don’t like being deceived , don’t do the same!

GO Dutch – don’t let one person pay for everything..esp on the first date ..because the person paying might feel like you are just there for a free meal…and the one receiving may feel obligated to be kind to them because they paid….I personally don’t like people I don’t know well paying for me…I’ve always been told by my mother..unless they are your boyfriend-never let them pay for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!SO yeah, go half and if it doesn’t work out, don’t need to feel bad for the =meal they paid for!

Not sure about you, but funny people are more approachable than people who seem too mean or serious.

I legit saw a bio where the guy was saying how he was still there because he still hadn’t found love…but he paid for 3 month subscription…it sounded like he had bad experience with online dating… he was like- no flakey people-no people who just want to be friends and aren’t looking for a relationship (wth-rood?) AND he also said that he wont pay for the first meal and that they will go dutch. I think he said at least THREE times that he only wants people who want serious relationships…

I think this dude is just too serious…man…you be scaring off and putting off any girl…I dunno…I felt like he was judging everyone else for being gold digging hoes or something…

Anyways,

In conclusion, while there are both pros and cons to the world of online dating- I do believe it is very useful for helping people meet other people that they normally wouldn’t in their normal circle of friends.
It is still very important to think about safety, privacy , and mannerisms when meeting people online for the first time, but with careful planning, research and getting to know the other person, I believe it can be a very rewarding experience. I think and hope in 10 years now, meeting people online will be the norm and not be stigmatised.

These are my own opinions and thoughts and I know everyone may have different views…

 

Joy and Peace to you and if you have any thoughts and opinions on online dating, please let me know below 🙂

 

Have a good day!

How to deal with rude people

If you work in retail or in any work place where you need to deal with “people”… a “good day” can easily become a “bad day” with just one misbehaving or rude person you encounter

I am not sure about you, but I was having a pretty OKAYish day trying to deal with being at work…then this “atrocity” of a person…comes in and personally acts very rude to me.

 

As he was a new client to my work place and only staying a short time, I didn’t bother telling anyone about it.

But, I just felt…so tempted not to do my job..it is people like him that really make me hate my job and just quit sometimes. There can be 39 clients that don’t make trouble..but it takes JUST ONE rude one..who tells you to “Hurry up”. and does not listen to what you have instructed them to do when you made it so clear to them and…then has the indecency answers their phone in front of you and tells the person on the phone that there is “An annoying lady who won’t let him leave”. while staring at you. Then when you say something back, they tell you “Stop eavesdropping”. Mate. You Obviously did that in front of my to try piss me off. We are in a dosing room, no one else there. Can I honestly NOT hear your comment?

FFS., Just thinking about it makes me soo angry.

There were so many things I wanted to say or do…why is it that in this sort of jobs, we have to take this abuse? Is it worth the money you get paid for?

I sometimes ask myself this…is this what you dignity, mental health and motivation to work is worth?

Getting harassed by someone who is ungrateful and rude, whom your job is to help them..it is SO hard..

I was really really not happy. I talked to the manager that normally works there on the phone..and she said, You can refuse to help them. You can refuse to dose someone. I’ve never had the guts to refuse to dose someone on the basis that they have been rude to me…it is far more scary for me to refuse them and make them angry. I honestly fear for my life sometimes..I get so paranoid every time I go in and out of work. Looking left and right before running to my car and locking the doors.

It’s hard though. I don’t want to provoke someone even further or cause trouble for other staff. But, where does my rights and limitations go up to? How much do I have to put up with?

These are the things that health professionals go through daily. We want to help YOU, but you (not you, but you know that rude person) want to make our lives harder.

It makes me into someone not as happy and that anger passes on through me to get angry even more easily when some clients, come OUT of hours…past the dosing time and the time that I am supposed to get paid for…and expect you to dose them.

I am in the midst of trying to grow more resilient and more assertive. At the same time, I don’t want to come off as rude or standoffish. I don’t know why, one part of me wants to be their best-friend…but the other knows that they can stab me in the back anytime.

I am not sure what works…being so lenient and nice to them, so that they walk all over you. Or being unapproachable, not being able to have a good transparent relationship with them?

I am not there for long…but it makes work a real ..struggle town..knowing who you have to deal with and not having/knowing who to ask for help..

Anyways, the point of this post was to give some ways that you can help alleviate the anger that rises when faced with rude clients/patients.

 

  1. Just remember, they will be gone soon and you don’t have to spend the rest of the day with them-hopefully.
  2. Remember they are just one of many clients you have and like a bag of chocolates, you never know which one you will get. (Misquoted from Forest Gump)
  3. Just try to smile and be the bigger person and tell them politely what they are doing that makes you feel upset.
  4. IF they try to get back at you even more, use some empty threats (or real)…like for example, you don’t have to serve them if you feel you are in danger…i.e. Can call security guard (if you have one) or the police (which I have done before).
  5. Just remember, they purposely desire a reaction of you, they want to see how far they can push you. This is where you have to learn to stick up for yourself. If you let them bully you once, they will do it again! This is a reflection and is a representation of their personality/behaviour and is not indicative of the type of person that you are. They are throwing their insecurities/bad stuff on you…but that doesn’t make you bad.
  6. Make it clear what the rules are from the start. Tell them so that they have no excuse next time, make a sign to put right in front of them or make it a rule to reiterate it each time.
  7. It is important to document what you said and what happened. I think there are incident reports that you can write online..I didn’t do one today, but I might write it up tomorrow. Documentation is your friend. Because…you never know when you might need to recount something that happened.
  8. Put on your best FAKE smile and still try to say thank you when you leave…got this online…KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS (like that song). While I failed with this today…there is always next time. I am sure I will get numerous opportunities to grow in these skills.
  9. Reflect on what you can do better next time…what can be improved? Should we have a sign to say that they must wait a certain time? To make it crystal clear? The old clients know the rules, the new ones are more cocky and despite you tell them, they will try bend or break the rules.
  10. Make sure you tell someone about it…I guess the only way that change can happen is to let those working around you to be aware of it too. It helps when they know that their bad behaviour was not swept underneath the counter but that you reported it. When bullies get found out, they lose their power.

 

I am not sure 100% of these things will work, but it did help me to realise, that there are some things you can do in the midst of a difficult challenging scenario. Of course, safety is very important especially in these sort of scenarios. Provoking people is very dangerous..Just gotta do your best and put on a fake smile and bitch about it later on your blog.

Stay Strong

Have yourself a melancholic Christmas

How many times did you say “Merry Christmas” to the people around you this year? Online, on cards and God forbid maybe IN PERSON. For the majority of the year we rarely seem to use the word Merry and then suddenly bam December hits us and we using that word like no tomorrow.

According to google, merry means ..

merry
/ˈmɛri/
adjective
cheerful and lively.
“the streets were dense with merry throngs of students”
synonyms: cheerful, cheery, in good spirits, high-spirited, blithe, bright, sunny, light-hearted, buoyant, bubbly, lively, carefree, without a care in the world, joyful, joyous, rejoicing, jolly, jocund, convivial, festive, mirthful, gleeful, happy, glad, laughing;

Well I ain’t the Grinch, but excuse me, why must we Cheerful and lively during this season?

Are we not allowed to be sick, sad and lonely during this time?

I bet you, there are people who hate Christmas…not only the grinch…but others. This time can represent a time where they realise they are alone, just like how singles hate Valentines day -because it is a remember that they are alone. Christmas is a bit worse, because it is a public holiday, there is nothing to do. Where you still have to work on Valentines Day, Christmas is like…is like the worst time to be alone… People ask you what your plans are? What are you going to do? Did you buy your presents yet?

…What is you don’t have family? Or friends? Or anyone to spend Christmas with?

What if you cannot afford to buy any gifts for those around you? You can’t afford to have a feast..because heck you don’t even have a place to stay.

Christmas is not always a Happy time.

It is more like a temporary fix.. where you can pretend all is well, but it actually isn’t.

So sorry for not spreading Christmas cheer this season, but spreading awareness…It ain’t always jolly good.

On a side note, I liken Christmas to be the birthday of Jesus..however often we forget to invite the birthday boy to our parties…so we hold empty parties , celebrating the birthday of someone who isn’t even present. We forgot to invite the main attraction.

Anyways,

Hope your Christmas was good, but if it wasn’t, that is okay too 🙂

Joy to the World~

The definition of Beauty

If a tree fell down and no one was around to see it, did it make a sound?

 

+I am not sure if I got that quote right, but the point that I am trying to make is…if there were no others around us to define beauty, would there be someone to decide whether something is beautiful or ugly?

 

Or is it a society created construct that is totally subjective. Who defined that a face lacking pimples, scars, birthmarks or deformed teeth is ugly?

Who said that a women with large breasts and a nice butt is sexy?

Why must guys have six packs instead of one backs to be hot?

What has society come to that we are all obsessed with our bodies?

There are plastic surgeons, orthodontists, stylists, make up artists, personal trainers and diet experts to all give us tips to make our body the best it could be possibly; according to standards set by society.

I am not saying these things are bad in itself…

I myself never smiled as a kid, because I hated how crooked my teeth was. I was so self-conscious about my teeth-I was adamant that no one would like me or think I was pretty because of my ugly teeth. So my parents invested a lot of money to set my teeth straight and gave me a smile.

In a way, these procedures for cosmetic procedure are costly, time-consuming and often painful. Having spent four years of my life with metal train tracks on my teeth, countless nights of pain after tightening of braces and soooo many mouth ulcers from the sharp wire that I swear the the evil orthodontist left there on purpose to punish me for being late to all my appointments.

Four years and $6000 for a smile? I still have a wire behind my teeth and I had to go back every year for orthodontic reviews (which I have avoided this year-since I’ve been not wearing my retainers). There are the retainers that you need to wear at night and occasionally get new ones to be made.

There was the psychological pain of it all..being self-conscious of pieces of food that are displayed for people to see…and the chewing gum that you weren’t supposed to have ..getting stuck.

ANYWAYS, what was I trying to say?

Yes, society, especially the female species…seem to spend a great deal of time on trying to make themselves look more beautiful by the standards of this world. Perfect smile, shiny hair, blemish free skin -if this is not possible-a heavily caked face, a skinny body and a nice ass and maybe some push up bra or…if they have money breast implants.

 

Why are we so obsessed with beauty? Why do we all judge each other on people’s looks?

I am guilty of this as well…is it something innate within us that associates beauty with other good traits like, manners, kindness…I don’t know.

I can’t seem to understand it… but isn’t it all subjective? Then how can we agree that a certain poster, singer or actor is beautiful and others aren’t?

Does love actually exist? Or are we just ensured and trapped by the fleeting beauty of the other? When it fade, we just stay with them anyways?

Does anyone like someone else for themselves and without caring about how they look like?

I remember watching a Korean youtube video of two couples that had literally a blind date.

They had a cloth between them when they met, so they were forced to learn about each other without seeing each other. What are your thoughts on this?

They were forced to get to know each other and not judge each other on how they looked.

If only interviews, jobs and real life was like this.

Who said those that aren’t considered beautiful in this world are not the super stars and idols in other worlds?

 

Perhaps those considered beautiful in this day and age, in the alternative universe was those who are looked down upon, frowned up and ostracised because their skin lacks pimples, because they are too SKINNY, because they are TOO FIT, because their hair is TOO shiny and not messy enough.

Anyway, that is my rant about beauty and how superficial it all is.

In our old age, does beauty even matter anymore?

How about we become deep people instead of shallow?

 

The art of lying

Have you ever thought why do people lie?

Why can’t they tell the truth?

Aren’t they worried that the truth will come out?

As someone that was brought up being taught ..sinning is bad! You will go to hell=…if you lie! If you look at someone lustfully ..You’ve already committed adultery! If you speak bad about one person..you are going to be in hell. No swearing..no rebelling. Live your life as if you were for Christ. etc etc.

I was shit scared to sin. I refrained myself from swearing, though I would swear in my head. I would pretend I was an angel, when I was not behind closed doors. I was busy putting on a mask, a face that said everything is good, everything is fine. I didn’t even realise what a lie my life had become.

Why do we lie?

Is it because facing reality is just too damn hard?

If we face reality, we realise that life is so damn unpredictable.

Maybe we unintentionally lie. We say things we don’t mean. We aim to be polite.

In the heat of the moment, two lovers promise each other that they will love the other forever.

One year later, one finds out the other lied. Because they left them. All alone.

People are fickle. Whether we intentionally lie with a purpose or not even being aware of it.

Humans were born as liars. No one taught us how to lie. It is our innate nature to deceive and perhaps it was due to evolution.

Maybe, telling a lie has saved someones life in the past and hence humans have evolutionalised to become the liars that they are today,

 

Look at our world leaders, politicians, famous actors or singers. They all have made and told great lies and deceived many.

But then again, who hasn’t ever told a lie?

Well obviously, I haven’t.  😉

The art of growing up? What does it mean to be a ‘grown up?’

This year, 2018, I have learned a lot of things…as people do.

The notion of taking time to do nothing…has lead to the very best of something. [Winnie the Pooh,2018].

My parents go away every year for a minimum of 2 months to Asia every year.  I mean, I am a big girl, right? I should know how to look after myself because I am 2[censored]* years old now!

WIth age, does not come wisdom automatically and if you are used to living with your parents for most of your life at home, how is one supposed to know how to become an adult if not given the opportunity? How is one supposed to know how to look after themselves?

Being the second youngest in my family…has its perks and also its downfalls. I am not the oldest, so I am not the bravest. I am not the youngest so I am not the most spoiled.

I am just kinda in the middle…Torn between acting like an adult or acting like a child.

Age is all relative, isn’t it?

If you put a baby next to a teenager, of course, the teenager is the old one out of them.

If you put that same teenager next to an 80-year-old man, of course, the teenager looks young.

If you put that 80-year-old man next to a prehistorical 3000 BC man, of course, that 80-year-old man is the young and still ALIVE one.

Hope you get my point.

Anyway, what was I talking about again?

So, back to my story. So this time when my parents went away, things were better. Because. My brother finally got his license and this means I don’t have to transport him everywhere and, in previous years I’ve been doing the majority of the grocery shopping because he claims, ”I can’t drive” and also if I asked him to come with me, he was like “You got this, I don’t need to come”. I think that would piss anyone off and plus he would not contribute to the groceries cost unless I asked him.

This made me extremely angry. BUT, then I asked myself. Aren’t I just as bad as him?

Yes, I am not his mother. But, my parents provide for me for the 10 months of the year…bills…water…food…groceries…toilet paper…etc and they don’t ask me for money…well I kinda give it to them anyways.

My brother and I live a privileged life because my parents pampered us and did everything for us.

When they were gone, I realised how dependent I still was. I had to cook, I learned to clean and to be more organised because time is more precious now and I can’t afford to waste money eating out all the time.

Things came into perspective…when I got into fights with my brother about doing chores or who had to pay for what. I realised…that my brother was taking advantage of me because I was older than him…he expected me to do everything for him. He treated me as if I was an adult.

But, I insisted that he TOO was an adult.

As much I was telling him to be an adult, I realised that I needed to as well.

The ball dropped. I was an adult when my parents were here too. It doesn’t..shouldn’t matter if they are here or not. I do not revert back to a helpless kid when they come back. I am an adult, I can and I am continuing to learn to look after myself.

I think I finally understand what WongFu Productions video on adulting was trying to say, it is not about eating healthy, exercising or getting more money. It is really about taking control of your life, of your finances, of your health and using your time wisely. It is about being the bigger person and really looking at your life and to see if you are doing something that you really want to do.

This video really changed my life.

Thank you, Wong Fu.

We are ALL adults. Relatively speaking.

The secret Addictions nobody mentions

When you think of the word addiction what comes to mind?

Do you automatically think of those who are drug addicts, alcoholics, smokers, gamblers or even sex addicts?

But what about those more..subtle addictions, which gnaw away your life the same way, yet unnoticed and untreated…not recognised… no support..because you can’t be the same as them. 

 

We like to separate us and them whether that is to make us feel better or just to trick ourselves into denial…that there is nothing wrong with…

Playing too many video games…the game addict…

Taking multiple selfies a day and posting it on social media..facebook..instagram..snap chat…social media addict

Doing nothing but study everyday and all day….the study addict

Working non-stop for weeks on end without a single break in between… the workaholic

There is so many addictions out there..I can’t even think of the name of it?

 

What we fail to realise is that these unrecognised addictions can slowly ebb and destroy our lives…our careers..our health…our friendships and our sanity.

Those who stay cooped up in their rooms all day may not have many friends…poor hygiene…most likely low vitamin d levels from staying indoors all days…back problems..eye problems…Life is more than a game. Open your eyes and see the real world around you that you have neglected.

Those who are ‘addicted’ to their phones…they don’t realise there are people in front of them. Everything is about taking the perfect photos…the selfies…they don’t care about living in the moment, but just how the moment  looks in a photo. It gives them a false sense of security..that I have friends..that I look pretty…that I need to show the world that I am happy, successful and beautiful. But inside we are empty and alone. It stems from our insecurity and it can become an addiction hard to break…as peers pressure peers to join them in their addiction. How many of us can resist not looking at our phone multiple times a day? It’s hard to imagine how life was like before we all got mobile phones…

Those who do nothing but study all day are similar..people think that this is okay..this is better than then playing games all day~ but they never develop any social skills..they cannot fare well in the real world…when they finally realise that they need to work with others..they do not know how… social life? What’s that? Then those in Asia who have been pressured by tiger parents to do well…school..cram school..home work…wake up and repeat. Is that living? Life is more than just study and the pressure that has mounted to kids have led many students to take their lives in Japan and China.

Then there are those who grow up and then become addicted to working. That can’t be bad right? What is so bad about being hard-working? Isn’t that what we strive for? If you look at countries like Japan, the working population are working 12 hour days, 6 or 7 days a week. This has led to a decrease in in birth rates and the population is growing smaller and smaller as who has time to look after kids, have babies when working such long hours? It seems like no one even has time to date! People aren’t happier when they are stressed. Over working comes at a price, the animator for the popular series Naruto Kazunori Mizuno was found to have died from over work.  The Japanese even have a name for deaths from overwork, it’s just that common, this word is karoshi and it characterises death that is from stress, heart attack and a starvation diet. 

 

 Have a think about what you could be addicted to and not even realise… 

The definition of things- What does it mean to cheat ? (in a relationship)

This is a new series of posts that I will be starting on that I will focus on defining the undefined…There are so many murky  grey areas of life, where it is not black and white…

And the first one being..

“What does it mean to cheat in a relationship?”

So in a random (slightly biased) ask of a few of my friends who hopefully won’t judge me..I poised to them this question and the answers I got were far and wide..

There was no consensus that was reached..but the most common answers I got were:

-When you hide the fact that you are talking/meeting to someone else behind your partners back, i.e. you lie about it.

-You have other intentions with people that you are not in a relationship with.

-You talk to that person more than you significant other (SO)

-Kissing, holding hands or sex with someone other than your SO

Where it became kinda grey :

Is thinking about someone else sexually..tempted??

What about porn? Sex workers? Actors? Who do stuff you normally wouldn’t do with others?

Coz it’s ur job, does it not count?

Emotional or physical cheating?

Where does the line begin and the other end?

Is it blurred?

What are your thoughts?