What happened to me?

What has happened to me? I feel like I am falling back into old habits… into past fears, into avoidance, into the black deep hole. I thought I was strong enough to overcome all this, I thought I would never go down that path again.

Where did it go wrong? How can I fix this? What did I do before? I can’t remember anymore. Is this because of the situation that’s been thrown at me or is it because I was already suffering inside but because I had put it off for so long that I failed to see it? How did I become like this?

My hopes and dreams feel meaningless. Everything is meaningless. What’s the point in trying if you are going to fail anyways. Why am I so negative :(.

Is it because I moved here? Should I move back? I am so confused, worried, and exhausted. Is it because I spent so much time alone? This endless lockdown and constant worries of getting the virus. Constant fears of having to quarantine… I am so very tired and unmotivated 😞

First year Anniversary in Melbourne

I can’t believe one year in Melbourne has already passed soo quickly in a blink of an eye 😅😅… I spent half of the time in a lockdown, but honestly it hasn’t been too bad. So grateful for the good times I have had during my stay here, the people I have met, and the food I have eaten.

Cheers 🥂 to another year to go. 😌😌😌Where will I be in one years time?

Feeling Dry

Contrary to the title of this post, Melbourne has been rainy and wintery all week. However, I am dry and dehydrated..I have mouth ulcers in my mouth, my skin is dry and bleeding, and overall I feel unwell. But, I can’t explain why I am unwell. I feel guilty that I feel sick and so so tired.

I am feeling my zest in life is slowly fading. I feel dizzy when I play badminton…I am scared that I will injure myself once again. What are hobbies again? Everything just is hard to concentrate when I feel like I need to continue working

I am aware that I am thinking about work was too much…even on my lunch breaks and at home, I am checking my email constantly. My team leader calls me before and after work…It’s just ongoing and infiltrating my life and it is mostly my fault. I always take on too much and too often, I never learn my lesson but I love the exhilaration of being on so many committees and so many projects. But spare time is no longer mine. Maybe it’s time to take a step back and let others help.

When did I become so bad for asking for help? When did I become so independent? It must be pride, arrogance, and distrust…

Things need to change, I can’t go on like this in fear that I will crash and burn.

How to help a Hoarder Part 2: Non-perishables

Welcome and thank you for coming back to Part two of How to help a hoarder: Non-perishables, click here for Part one. I believe this is an important area to discuss, I am not sure if it is the same as where you are…but every time when I go into supermarkets, usually the toilet paper aisle is empty, hand sanitiser, gloves, facemasks, etc are all gone. So why are people hoarding this stuff? I guess some are doing it because they are selfish, other want to take advantage of the situation and sell it for an inflated price on eBay, and some may be just doing a lot of sh*t? Anyways, here are some reasons and ways to stop hoarding so much!

  • Just have one good product for each of your beauty/hair products.
    That applies to things like sunscreens, moisturisers, toners, shampoo, conditioners, face wash!! What is the point having several hundred bottles of different facewashes, when you already have one good one? Do you have that many faces to use? If you haven’t even finished the one you are using, what is the point of buying another one? When I look at my bathroom…it is full of half-used, unused, and forgotten bottles of shampoos and conditioners 😦 ….and you know what the sad thing is? Every time my parents see it on sale, they go and buy another one!! Just use up what you have already and save space and time.
  • Don’t keep buying extra things, just because it’s on sale or convenient...
    I am super guilty of this…every time I go to a chemist, I used to buy another Systane eyedrop for my avid dry eyes, but I forgot that I already have bought some at home already! So yeah, no point doing that every time…just wait till you almost run out before buying it. 
  • Be considerate and think about other people who might need the products more than you.
    I am talking about toilet paper, hand sanitiser, cleaning products, masks….etc. Why do you need so much of it? Whenever I am tempted to buy something that is rare…I think to myself…do I really need it or do I just want it? Someone else might need it more than you…
  • Think carefully about buying online, because it’s usually a lot harder to return it!
    I hate buying clothes and shoes online, coz rarely does it fit…and be a lazy and time-poor bum, I am too lazy to return it or file a complaint. More often than not, the actual product doesn’t look like the professional pictures that you were provided with…Sometimes the shipping takes soooo long that you have forgotten that you bought it, and then buy another one, either in person or online.
  • Don’t buy something just because everyone else has it too.
    FOMO is real. I know. I feel you. I am seriously jealous about those who have a Nintendo Switch and playing animal crossing. But let’s be honest here, even if I did have one, I won’t make time or have any time to play anyway. It would just sit there and gather dust…so only buy what you really need and will actually use! Be it clothes, gym equipment, books, games, etc…Save your money and the planet!
  • Donate, recycle, or throw away things you don’t need anymore
    Be willing to get rid of things that are broken and don’t keep them just “Incase” something happens! You will end up with a lot of garbage… If something is still good, but it doesn’t fit you anymore, or suit you anymore…think about giving it someone else who might fit it or donate it to charity! You can also put in the recycle bin things that can be recycled and to be made into something else. Think of it like giving something a new reincarnation. But before you say goodbye to it, do as Marie Kondo suggests, and thank the object for serving its purpose, whatever it may be. My brain is fried. I ran out/forgot what I was going to write. Trying to do an assignment is due in two days. To me, it looks like polished and formatted garbage. It’s not my best work…but… mighty GODS above please let me pass. This is my last topic..and it would be horrendously sad if I failed now. T_T.

    Anyways, cheers to hoarding less, having more space in our homes, and more money in our banks!

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Scared to be Lonely

When we are lonely, we wonder when we will ever find someone to share our life with…

When we finally get into a relationship, we are worried how long will it last for, what obstacles will we face.. what is our future? Are they the ‘one’ for me?

Is there even the ‘one’ for me? What if there are many others better than this ‘one’? Should I stay or should I go?

When we are in a relationship we should really let go of, we fear the loneliness again…

When we let go of that relationship, we fear if we make the right choice, but we are afraid to show our feelings…because you don’t want to be vulnerable…

When we try running back to the relationship, we may find out that they have already moved on and we are hurt again…even more hurt and lonely than before

When we are at this point, we ask ourselves, did the relationship make us anymore less lonely or more happy? Who said we had to be in a relationship to be happy?

When we realise this, we realise we can be happy now…and that being a alone doesn’t mean you are lonely. We have great friends, family, and most of all-pets to take away our loneliness

Tortoise and the Hare

At the gym I go to, they were still open 24/7 over the Christmas/New Period but they stopped running the live classes…

This was a real struggle for me … as I force myself o go to the gym for those classes… so I really had no incentive to go…so I went like once a week.. and that’s mainly coz I am cheap and I hated seeing my membership fees being deducted from my bank account and realising they are getting free money…

Anyways, what I am trying to say is… I normally do not do weights and cardio work out by myself… I am someone highly motivated by having people around me working hard…hence love those classes…!

So I went to the gym twice over the holiday period.. On the first visit..I went on the treadmill… I was like .. hmmm this sure looks like a good way to get my 10,000 steps on my fitbit..!! So I started off slow 4.5km/hour speed.. up to 8.0km/h (not fast I know)… did that for about a minute or so (seriously out of breath…unfit 😦 ) and them took a bit of a break by slowing down to 4.5 km/h just to get recover my breath… coz tired..!! I did this for 20minutes… and was super tired.. I managed to do 2km distance in that 20minutes! Not bad..? For me 😂

On the second visit.. I was feeling really lethargic of late ( prob due to iron deficiency).. and I decided I wouldn’t do those speed intervals because the sprinting really takes the wind out of me… but I also hate walking really slow on the treadmill😭 I am a pretty fast walker…probably due to the fact I work in a lot of faced-paced environments where I cannot walk slow :(.. so I set it at a constant speed of 6.5km/hour.. so mid way between what I did in my first visit…

And it was great .. I didn’t have to constantly look at the little time and have to keep changing the speeds on the right up and down.. and I didn’t feel as exhausted and worn out at the end of 10 minutes.. And I did the same…! At the end .. I got the same result. 1km/10 minutes essentially!

But this way.. was better..easier and didn’t tire me out…

it was interesting how I feel like that can relate to me and how I have been living my life… I go through periods of extreme stress .. leading to anxiety, depression and mental breakdowns…to a point where I can’t take it amy more.. then I am forced to rest… my body shuts down in sickness .. and thats when I recover.. start to remember my health and my sanity again…

The reason why I’ve been working so hard for the last six months with no break (literally working 7 days a week for I am not sure how many weeks it is now)… is because I felt I was so behind in life… in comparison to my friends… those my age are getting married, have moved overseas to work… buying houses.. doing all this exciting stuff and what I feel is “adult” stuff.. and there was me… who blew my savings recklessly on an expensive holiday overseas… and on some scam medicine entrance exam course….I felt I needed to catchup by working myself to almost death -? Because I am so tired all the time, worn out… burnt out… sick so often and can’t even relax…get irritable… can’t eat properly.. don’t have time or energy to see friends…

I am asking myself..? Why do I meed to do all this sprinting to try catch up to everyone else? I am just going o get exhausted and need a really good rest-where I might have to stop work altogether for s break… because if I am constant with myself.. mot too much.. not too little.., I can reach that end goal without over exerting myself.. and still enjoy a good work out that is life…

Thanks for reading my weird analogies o life.. i literally wrote this at 4am because I woke up with blood running down my face from my nose… oops

Stay Joyful guys!

#16 How to have more control over your life

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Well, recently I have been thinking more and reflecting on what it means to be an “adult”. As Wong Fu’s video on adulting put it as it is about having control over your life and not letting life control you basically. Life is like a game, you need to have control over your player (i.e. you).

I thought that makes sense! But I hadn’t really thought about it much deeper than that…What does it mean to actually have control over your life? I mean, isn’t there a bigger person up there who does all that for us anyway?

I have had a bit of brainstorm and have been reflecting on a few habits that I have picked up lately in my quest to become a proper adult.

1. Control over the use of my time

Putting this first because lately, I have started realising how much time I ‘waste’ on staring at my phone and laptop. More so phone… I think I have an addiction to my phone 😦 While there is no drug or cure for this condition yet, so I have had to take matters into my own hands and decide to set limits on how much I am allowed to use my phone, especially when I am in my bed…

Rules that I have set for myself include, timing how long I spend each night or day using my phone in my bed and recording it on a piece of paper. I have also deleted certain apps and accounts for some social media sites in an attempt to curve my addiction, this includes saying goodbye to my original facebook account and my YouTube mobile app… Not to mention they also kill my data ..R.I.P

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2. Set limits to what time you want to be out of bed and in bed each night…and stick to it as much as you can!

For me, as I am pretty lenient on myself. I usually am up around 7 or 8 am, but I stay in bed for half-an-hour and a half longer…using my phone ..yup so bad. So I have decided to stick a limit of 9am being the latest I can lie in my bed! The latest I want to be in bed is by 1 am… !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hopefully, I can make my sleeping time earlier…It helps setting alarms to not only wake you up but also to remind you to sleep.

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3. Record your spending

I have touched on spending and saving more in another post about “How to Save Money when you don’t have any” and one of the things I had mentioned was that I like to keep a log of everything that I spent money on. So petrol for the car, groceries, gym membership fees, phone bills and everything else. The cool thing about the app (I use Pocket Expense-which is free), is that is has a budget you can set on certain things. However, I do often go over my budgets, but its all a learning process!

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Photo by Public Domain Pictures on Pexels.com

4. Record what you eat

 I only recently downloaded an app that lets you record down your meals, it is pretty cool! I haven’t been logging everything as of yet, but I think it is a good idea to have an idea of what you are eating every day and see what sort of nutrition you are lacking or bad food that you can cut out or reduce to enable you to have a healthier life.

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5. Keep a health diary or a diary at least…

I love diaries and I love blogs! These things enable us to look back in time and remember what things caused what. You can use it to record how many times a month you had a headache, record when your period is (or get an app like I do) and just other stuff…you know emotional stuff too. When you see things for what it really is, it helps you know yourself and the way your body and mind work better.

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6. Have a plan and goal for each day

Do you ever feel like you achieved nothing in a day? Well, head over to the other blog post about how to stop procrastination at it’s worst. Having a clear goal or sense of what you want to achieve in a day, leaves you feeling satisfied and will help you towards your bigger goal in the long run, it also helps you be more disciplined and feel more in control.

7. Make time for the things yourself, the things you love and the people you love

When you are trying to achieve presidency or trying to reach Mars, it can be easy to forget those that are around you or those still on Earth. Don’t forget to schedule in quality time with your loved ones and for doing the things you love. It is not the best feeling in the world to get to Mars and realise that you have no one to share that incredible news with. Don’t forget to #LOVE YOURSELF

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8. Make time to look after your body to do EXERCISE 

Exercise is super important and you shouldn’t neglect its valuableness as a natural anti-depressant and mood lifter! It is important for your physical and mental health that you do exercise regularly. Apple watches, Fitbits, and other fitness apps are making it easier to do and plan workouts! They also make it more fun by making it more interactive and competitive (who did the most steps this week?)

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9. Know who your true friends and fake friends are

Who is there when you are not at your best or at your peak? Who calls you for help and then when you need them, they don’t pick up? Take time to develop and cultivate close connections with those that you treasure. A good friend is really hard to find and is more precious than a pearl…I think I requoted a bible verse here =s?

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10. Allow yourself to be random and uncontrolled…once in a blue moon!

It is okay to have one day where you sleep into like 5pm or a cheat day every now and then. Life isn’t meant to be all serious and adult. When we embrace our inner child, it is a beautiful thing…But as an adult, we can’t be like that all the time…At some stage, we have to put back on our adult mask and trudge on with our healthy food and those squats.

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I am sure there are many other ways we can have more control over our lives….so if you have any suggestions, leave your comments below! 

 

Other than that, take care and I will see you next time!

 

person holding saucer with mug of chocolate ice cream coffee

#10 How to find meaning in your life

Having a reason to get up each morning is important, having a reason to eat healthily and to exercise is important…Having a reason to breathe and continue living despite all that happens is important…I hope you see my point?

So, what happens if you realise you don’t know why you are on this earth? What if you are still lost and confused and not sure why you do the things you do?

Hopefully, this post will explore some common reasons why people live and why it should be based on many things and always be evolving and changing… 🙂

1. Some people live for their children or their future children.

They want to leave their legacy and invest the rest of their lives investing in the lives of their children, to help bring them up to be good and successful adults.

2. Some people live for their career. Career driven people may forsake other loves and interests in turn to pursue being the “best” or the “top” of their profession. These people could be astronauts, prime ministers, the wife of a Prince, an actor or someone who devotes their life solely on their work. People like Einstein…

3. Some people live to do good essentially. Similar to those who live for their career, these people however live their lives spreading love and goodness to those who need it. People who come into mind is Mother Theresa or Gandhi.

4. People who live to enjoy their lives . I guess they just live to please them self? They may have lots of money and like to spend it on lavish holidays, newest handbags or latest fashion. If you live to get the newest iPhone or apple watch, that’s cool and that is totally up to you!

5. Living for a spiritual reason. Some people find solace and find peace that they were put on this earth for a reason. This could be those who devote their life to serving in their church, temple or other religious place of gathering. Some may even be called to be evangelists to spread the gospel throughout the world, I guess this could be their calling.

6. Those who live for their hobbies! Some people in their spare time or hobbies, feel like they live to do them. For example, I have many friends who are obsessed with a certain sport such as badminton, volleyball or table tennis. This is the highlight of their week, this is where most of their friends are and where they spend a majority of their time at after work or school. There is nothing wrong to want to live to do these fun things. It is a healthy way to maintain your fitness and also to make new friends.

7. Some people live to look after their pets/animals. I thought I would add this one, in case you don’t see yourself having kids, but you might have 10 cats who depend on you to look after them, that is one important reason to live.

8. Live for those who matter to you, i.e. Friends, family and those who may look up to you. Our circle of influence is wider than we think! If people heard that you did something awesome like volunteer to help kids in 3rd world countries, that story can be passed to some family friends kids nephews cousin and they may be inspired to do the same! There is nothing wrong for living to see your friends and as it has been said before, life is all about the relationships you have. Whether you have a special someone or not, really good friends you can share with make life so much more colourful and meaningful. So take care to develop and care for your friends :)!

9. Live to make a positive difference in the world. This one is quite broad and encapsulates a few points that have already been mentioned. Whether you make an invention, discover a new drug or were the first to fly to Mars, I hope you aim high! Whether it’s small or big, all of us have left our imprint on this earth in some way or other. Whether you are a mother who gave birth to child who continued the line of the human race, or you were the important garbage collector who dutifully did their job to the gratefulness of others….everyone is important, big or small, recognised or unrecognised. Can I just put a note here, that a really good book I recommend you to read is ‘The Five people you meet in Heaven’, that explains this concept well.

10.  To travel and experience different life experiences, like Sky Diving or eating delicious foods!! I personally love traveling around the world and learning about other people’s cultures and learning new languages. I hope I can go to every country before I die! It’s just so exciting and thrilling to leave on a holiday to a whole another world. Some people live to eat yummy foods around the world, just remember to check your cholesterol regularly!

These are some of the suggestions that I can think of to live a meaningful life, I am sure there are many more other reasons!

As I said, we can have more than one reason and I think it is better to have many reasons to live.

A great link that I found on this topic is this article:

Question for you guys:

What do you feel your purpose in life is? 

 

Take care and see you next time!

 

Joy

 

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#7 How to Say NO and to say YES to yourself

sayingno.pngAn important part of being an adult is the ability to manage your own affairs and your schedule.

Not being able to say NO to people or things may actually lead to a lot of mental health issues, such as stress, anxiety, and depression. By not putting yourself, your family or the values you stand by first can open that door to mental illnesses. You are essentially allowing other people or things to control your schedule, finances and your maybe even your sanity.

You may feel guilty or selfish if you say NO to someone who asks you to do something. But in fact, they can easily ask someone else, do it themselves or find a way around it. BUT if they know that you always say YES to everything and seem like the person that won’t refuse, they won’t make the effort themselves to ask other people….

And hence, that’s why you shouldn’t always say YES to everything, because some people in this world are actually ‘selfish’, lazy and may just be using you or taking you for granted.

The truth is, if you say NO to them, it is not the end of the world…if they make you feel guilty or coerce you into doing something you don’t want to…are they even worthy to be your friend? Are they a loving family member? Or are they a good employer?

To be able to ask these questions though, you need quite a good sense of security in who you are. Often, it is due to our insecurities that we don’t say NO to people. We fear that we will get left out, people will hate us… What if when we need help, other people won’t help us?
( Of course, if we can help, we are free and we feel we aren’t being used, there’s nothing wrong with that…)


But if someone is constantly asking you to do their dirty work for them, because they know you will, it’s time to read this post and start doing something positive for yourself from today!

  1. Know yourself and feel secure

This is much harder than it sounds…being secure means essentially that you accept the way you are and who you are. By being yourself, and not pretending to be someone else you are able to essentially relax and not be on your guard all the time, in case someone finds out who you truly are. Take some time to know what you like, what you dislike and how people make you feel when you are around them. Do you feel like you always have to pretend to like what others do, when you rather do something else? But because you have that “

As Dr. Seuss said, “Those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter”

Well said, sir!

  1. You always have a choice

When things go wrong, is it easy to blame others for “telling or making you do it” -but by looking back at the situation objectively, most of us had a choice and some choose to let themselves be controlled. Maybe it was by their own desire for money, fame or fortune…but honestly, if it is important to you do it– but if you are only doing it because you are afraid of what will happen if you don’t and about someone being upset if you don’t- then think again why you are doing what you are doing. Remember, you always have a choice and others may not have as much control over as your mind tells you it does.

  1. It is perfectly fine to not be fine

    I think this is an important point, you don’t have to pretend to be okay all the time. If your friend is feeling sick and suddenly cancels on you, do you:
    A-Immediately think they are lying and get angry at them for bailing on you at the last minute
    B-Reassure them that their health is more important than going out when they are sick and ask if there is anything you can help them to get better?

    If you chose A…would you want someone to think that about you?

    If you chose B…I think you are a good friend and sometimes… you need to be able to be a good friend to yourself. However, most of us are harder on ourselves than with other people…Many treat themselves quite brutally, myself included.

    If you take yourself outside of your current situation and look at it objectively and pretend to see yourself in third person for, you may find it is easier to think clearer, “Are my actions really that bad?”

    Everyone gets sick, everyone gets depressed or anxious at some stage in their life…and it is up to us to be more understanding and more empathetic towards them…Because we probably want them to do the same when we are in the same situation.

A lot of people, myself included, have never realised we have such a bad habit of saying YES to everything and not being able to say NO…this leads us to have overcrowded and often stressful schedules, lending money and possessions, time and doing a whole lot of stuff we didn’t really want to do. We forget that we have been “asked” and not “requested” to do a lot of these things. A real friend isn’t going to unfriend you because you said no to a coffee date because you had an assignment due the next day or because you didn’t have any sleep yesterday. I think a lot of times people think they are more important than they actually are…but to be honest, people are always somewhat replaceable.

I hope this post will inspire you to think twice the next time you are asked to do something you don’t really want to.

Two posts in one week!! *Procrastination to the max*

See you next post 😉

Take care! -Video is up!

#5 How to understand someone with Autism -The Myths and Misconceptions about someone with Autism

There are many myths and misconceptions about autism, hopefully this post will help you learn more about autism and dispel some myths about autism.

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*update*

Here is the Video if you prefer listening to reading!

There are many misconceptions about autism, as many people may only know about it from movies and tv shows…but what is it really? Is everyone autistic good at chess, have supernatural savant abilities or are they all non-verbal? Hopefully, this post will help dispells some common myths and misconceptions about autism.

Myth #1: Autism is like how that movie or TV show portrayed autism is for everyone!

When I say the word Autism, what immediately comes to mind? Is it Raymond the autistic savant in Rain man? Or the equally autistic savant surgeon Dr Shaun Murphy in the Good doctor? Or perhaps it is Sheldon from the Big Bang theory who displays autistic traits?

If TV shows and movies are not your thing… Maybe you have experienced a personal encounter with autism in your childhood. Perhaps, you remember that “special kid” in your class that had trouble communicating with the rest of the class or was often disruptive and non-verbal.

Those with autism are often labelled as strange, weird or quirky and often feel ostracised and often become the victims of bullying at school and also in the workplace.

Myth #2: Only boys get autism! Girls don’t!
It was believed previously that there is that there is a 3:1 ratio of diagnosis of autism in boys in comparison to girls. But, current research and efforts to improve the sensitivity of diagnostic testing for autism has revealed that the number of girls is actually higher than they initially thought. The ratio is most likely to be closer to 2:1 ratio autism in boys to girls.

Why is this the case?

This could be from a multitude of factors, but one particular factor is the difference in the way boys and girls tend to act and also the greater understanding of the different signs and symptoms of autism.

In my opinion, girls tend to live a more sheltered life with a lot of them having their behaviour modified at a young age by their mother or father. Girls tend to be better at mimicking and almost like a chameleon trying to blend in with other girls their age. They may have also grown up with ‘neurotypical’ females around them who they copy, either a sister or a close friend/relative, who then teach and mentor them to act like they are “supposed to”. Boy’s don’t tend to do that as much and hence autistic boys are more likely to be diagnosed at an earlier age and if at all in comparison to girls.

These boys are able to get the help they need to help modify their abnormal behaviours and mindsets at an earlier age. Many girls unfortunately who have pretended to be ‘normal’, seep through the cracks in getting diagnosed and thus grow up struggling to understand why they never seem to fit in with others.

Some questions they may ask themselves:

  • Why do I never know what to say or do in certain social circumstances?
  • How come everyone else knows naturally what to do or say?
  • How can I know if this person is my friend or not? Do they like me or not?
  • How does body language work and why does it matter?
  • What does my tone of voice have to do with anything?

These are only some of the questions autistic people may ask themselves…

Myth# 3: You don’t look like you are autistic! You don’t have to look autistic, to be autistic

Often people misconceptions about people with autism may say, “You can’t be autistic, you don’t look like it!” This can make us who may have autistic feel upset, angry or guilty…are you accusing us of lying and fabricating our diagnosis? You haven’t ever lived in or walked in our shoes before.

Let me ask you, “Does someone have to look like they have high blood pressure to have it? Or does someone have to look like they have kidney cancer to have kidney cancer?”

Physical appearance and attributes are not the only diagnostic markers of people with diseases and if at all for autism.

It’s like judging a book by its cover, you can assume ANYTHING about the book, but unless you open it t and read it, you will not know what is inside.

Myth #4: All autistic people are the same

Autism manifests uniquely differently in each individual and one size does not fit all. Autism has actually been redefined as the ‘Autistic Spectrum Disorder’: It could mean you could be on the more severe ‘Low functioning’ side of the ‘spectrum’ here you may not be even able to speak or communicate with others. On the other hand, you could be ‘ High functioning’ side and live a relatively ‘normal life’, like holding down a steady job, get married and even have kids.

Does that mean that some suffer more than the other? Or does high functioning autistic people not count as having autism? No… they are still autistic and they deserve the help and support that anyone struggling with autism needs.

#Myth #5: Autistic can’t communicate at all and don’t understand other people

I’ve had friends say, when I disclosed my potential for having autism, “You communicate so well and I ‘ve known you so long, surely you can’t have autism”. As Myth number 4 says, autism manifests differently in everyone and everyone is at a different place in the spectrum. Some people on the spectrum are better at copying ‘social norms’ better than others and hence they are able to imitate how to act. This may fool others and maybe even themselves that they are ‘normal’.

Myth #6 You can only get autism as a kid and then you grow out of it

Unfortunately, this is not the case, autism is a lifelong condition. It is a neurodevelopmental disorder that happens from birth and at current, there is no known ‘cure’ for it, there is also evidence that it is a genetically passed on disorder from generation to generation, so it can run in families. The only treatment at the moment is behaviour modification from a young age and education for those who may know someone who is affected by autism to be more understanding. However, despite not having a cure for autism, you can still live quite a fulfilling and full life with the appropriate help and support from others.

Fact #7 People with Autism cannot be diagnosed as an adult

As I said, many people, especially females slip through the cracks and can go undiagnosed for many years by acting out their charade. However, when they get found out or if the charade goes wrong, it can lead to mental breakdowns, health problems or relationship breakdowns which may lead them to see a psychologist, doctor or psychiatrist about their mental issues…which they could eventually lead to a diagnosis of autism and this can be as an adult.

Myth #8: Autistic people do not have any emotions and they can never love anyone else or anything

Definitely not true! It’s just that autistic people may show their love and affection in different ways to the way ‘neurotypical’ people may perceive as normal. They definitely are able to love animals and pets, and pets for young kids with autism is a good way to teach them nurturing habits and pets also decrease anxiety in both adults and children. Autistic people can also get married and have kids, they may be at more risk of communication issues in their relationships, but with some work and help from others, they can make it work.

Myth #9 Autistic people can’t be successful or useful people in society

This definitely is the biggest myth of all in my opinion! There are many people in history who are suspected to have had autism or have displayed common autistic traits that may indicate they have autism. Famous people such as Mozart, Albert Einstein, and Isaac Newton have all demonstrated autistic-like traits. Well, known people of today that are suspected to be on the spectrum, (but not officially confirmed) are Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg and Tim Burton. Some well-known people who have come out as saying they are on the autism spectrum is the singer and winner of Britain’s Got Talent; Susan Boyle, the creator of Pokemon, Satoshi Tajiri and Temple Grandit, a famous animal behaviour expert.

Myth #10 People with autism either have intellectual disabilities or have savant Abilities

As you should be well aware by now, not everyone has a special ability such as a photographic memory, and everyone with autism doesn’t have a learning disorder. Autistic Savants are actually quite rare and please do not assume all autistic people have difficulty learning, yes they may have some difficulties understanding abstract concepts and some learning methods, but their IQ is often normal or above average. In saying that, it is possible for someone with autism to also concurrently have learning disabilities.

I hope this post has been helpful in dispelling some of the myths in regards to autism! If you noticed anything incorrect or you want to add something, feel free to leave a comment below! Like always, follow, subscribe and like if you enjoyed or found this post useful! As this is an important issue for me-I am going to post a video with the same information too…

See you next week!

Joy

“How to” Make Friends- Video is up!

Hi! I ‘ve finally made my first “How to Video” and this is on a topic that is close to me, how to avoid or reduce Social Isolation caused by feeling lonely.

 

You can be living with your spouse, family or friends but still feel lonely…

These are some tips and tricks from friends, family and from my own experiences in making new friends.

Hopefully, you will be able to make some new friends this way!

A new blog post will be up soon!

It’s never too late to make new friends 🙂

Be sure to leave a comment below if you have tips on making new friends!

Catch you next time!

#4 How to save money when you have no money!

How to save money when you do not have money! Some hacks, tips and advice on making the most of the money you have!

How to save money when you have no money! These are tips that I use myself, plan to use and that my friends are already using!

How to save money on food as Uni Student (not recommended for those trying to lose weight or be healthy)  Have instant noodles for dinner or other instant foods or frozen meals. For those who find cooking two-minute noodles too hard, buying one take away meal a day and eating it over three meals ( or two if you skip breakfast). Save those discount food coupons on the backs of receipts or ask your friends for vouchers they don’t want. Also be the bold one that asks if anyone wants to take away the rest of the food, if no one else wants it, take it-it is basically free food for your next meal. Learn to cook yourself and meal plan! This is more healthy and also stops you from being tempted to eat out after a long day at work or Uni..

Do Volunteer at events… you don’t get paid.. but usually, some sort of food or free stuff is given! I got free Weetbix, banana and a pretty awesome shirt for volunteering once. ⁃ Help people out ( out of love), sometimes they might shout you, but don’t expect it though Also learn to grow your own vegetables and fruits, there are plenty of videos on Youtube that teach you to grow food from the groceries you buy ⁃ Grow your own meat!! Jokes.. but yeah chickens do lay eggs and goldfish die..

Save money on the non-essentials! Find free parks in the city no matter how far you have to walk! Its good exercise and saves $$$ and pressure from finding short parks nearby and decreases the risk of getting a parking ticket.

On the topic of exercise…If you like doing classes like Zumba then join a gym! It actually works out cheaper ( if you go regularly) and most gyms now offer 24/7 access to members. It is basically it is like a second house you can access anytime… My gym is conveniently located in the middle of the city and has showers, toilet, and a small kitchen area. So you can basically live there if u want! They also provide free breakfast.. if cereal is your thing… You can also fill your bottle and get free wifi!\  The gym is also a good place to practice dance moves because there are a lot of mirrors around  ..It is handy for checking yourself out if you don’t have a full-length mirror at home.

Bulk buy stuff and compare prices before buying stuff you know you will use! For example, toothbrushes, buy big bottles of conditioner and shampoo, toothpaste or contact solutions etc. If you have a Costco membership, or even better you piggyback someone else who is going there anyway and had membership.. buy heaps of things you know you will use eventually! If you don’t have a friend with Costco membership, before going groceries or shopping of any kind, gather all the latest catalogs and compare the prices of the stuff you need and write down where to get therefrom. ⁃

Always carry in your wallet cash, metro cards, plastic bags, student ID and loyalty cards! You don’t wanna be caught paying a surcharge for placed with a minimum on epftos. I tend to keep track of my money better when I see cash decrease in my wallet… more than in my bank account. It is always good to have your cards on you, in case you have memberships giving you discounts at particular shops and who wants to get caught out paying full price for a bus or movie tickets? Some places in Australia are charging for plastic bags when shopping, so unless you are really good at carrying 50 things with your hands to your car, bring reusable bags with you when shopping (or waste another 10 cents buying another one 😦 )

Don’t buy new stuff if you can help it.. i.e go online and see if people are selling used stuff you want online.. certain things don’t necessarily need to be new to be used.. i.e cars (better from a trusted dealer), books ( as long as they didn’t graffiti it) and I personally don’t mind good quality second-hand clothes! Always wash it before wear tho! Second-hand bags and furniture can also be a good buy.I wouldn’t buy used makeup, sanitary stuff, expired food or underwears tho .. or bedding. I will let you in on a secret, half my wardrobe are handed down to me from my older sister or bought from second- stores :O  It is not only good for the environment, but you get an awesome range of clothes!

Make use of the internet! Use apps or websites like Motor Mouth to find the cheapest places selling petrol around you. ⁃ If buying technology stuff and office works sell it, bring evidence of it being cheaper online and show them ( incl. shopping) and they will match it and even better give you 10% off on top! ⁃ Buy generics if it’s not something super important and risky. I bought a generic ink for my hp printer, works fine and is like half the price! I personally don’t use generics for my prescription medications, but if you aren’t picky like me, generics should work the same as the original.

Learn to DIY if possible! For example, learn to dye your own hair, cut your fringe or make your own clothes etc. This can help recycle things and think of new uses for things before tossing or donating them. For example, old t-shirts can be used as hair towels or be made into a pillow-case or a teddy bear etc.  Keep all your unused plastic bags and use them as rubbish bin liners instead of buying bin liners. Use cardboard boxes for storing stuff or as a small table…

Be stingy! Take cutlery and extra serviettes when eating out…I also take extra wasabi and ginger at sushi train (  I am bad asss) ⁃ Get as many free samples of stuff as u can! Not only do u get to try cool stuff… it saves u money on actually gettinm to try before u buy! ⁃ My friend told me this one.. apparently ASOS an online clothing store allows free returns of items at no cost before a certain period as long as the product is in good condition and price tag and everything is kept.. so what my friend did was buy a dress for her dental ball and then returned it the next day.. free of charge gg #lifehacks

⁃ Ask for free advice from shopkeepers and pharmacists...  It is free health and fashion advice! Say yes to free makeovers and perfume samples!!  Go to free expos, CPD training ( for health professionals) because there are free food and education!

Gaining some spare change: Recycle plastic bottles and get rewarded with 10 cents! If you got heaps of time… fill out surveys and stuff and win or get free stuff ⁃ Do paid experiments… I personally dont fo any medical ones.. coz I hate blood tests and risking my life.. but I take part in economic experiements, which are pretty fun and they reimburse you a small amount for your time in money!

Hacks that can save some money! Wait until “happy hour” or near closing time of a food court and go buy cheap food that is on sale (usually)! Go to grand openings and special events to get cheap or free food/stuff.  Become a foodblogger and get your food for freeeee! This happens when you are a bit more well-known in the industry, those food places value your honest feedback and it gives them free exposure and advertisement of their restaurant.  Remember to bring along your camera to take good photos of their food though! People eat with their eyes! *__*

Ask your friends for lifts carpool (helps save the environment and petrol $) make sure you return the favour too ⁃ See movies when its cheap tuesday! ⁃ If going overseas, dont buy tickets last minute.. buy early when there is a sale! This is not possible sometimes due to work commitments. Remember to utilise  what is free for all at workplaces, whether that is free coffee, milk or fruits! It is there for you to eat, so why not take some every day?

Get a rainwater tank and use it to water your plants! ⁃ Solar power is good too .. if u have money to invest ⁃ Health insurance is worth it..! Esp if you need glasses like me!! And i like to see a dentist every six months.. if u know the dentist, they might even bulk bill u! I.e no gap payment needed. ⁃ Prevention if health problems is better and less expensive than the cure.. i.e my ear and keloid ⁃ Look after yourstuff! Incase u need to sell it.. ⁃ Regift gifts that you will never use and that someone else might like! Only good quality and useful stuff ⁃ Share meals between friends

Grab free stuff from hotels, incl toiletries .. within reason ⁃ If it’s complimentary.. why not try free trials, but make sure you read the important parts of the terms and conditions and that you can easily unsubscribe at anytime.

Utilise the web: Do join Spotify families and net flix fams ⁃ Discount websites like Ozbargain,  Scoop on, Catch of the day, for a hotel .. booking.com.  Do research before buying something costly and do ask friends for their advice on where to find the cheapest of something!

 

I hope this helps you save a bit more money and stretches out your budget until payday!

 

I would love to hear of your own tips on saving money, as this list is not exhaustive, please leave a comment below!

On another note, I am editing my first video for my “How To Do With Joy” Channel! These videos will be on some of the same similar/same topics as those which are on this blog.

 

I will leave the link here and please like, subscribe and comment on my channel !

How to Do with Joy

See you soon!

 

#3 Remember to look after yourself..no one else is going to

I think this is one of the hardest things to do while “adulting”… Looking after yourself…

 

Whether that’s physically, mentally, socially or spiritually…It’s almost the more “adult” you get the easier it is to focus less on yourself than other people ..AS parents age, they put more importance in making money for the family and they lose their hard-earned six-packs…so is this a case of a change of priority? Family is more important than their own health?

But what would your own kids want for you?If they knew that you let yourself go and didn’t look after yourself in your younger years, would they not rather you look after yourself a bit better?

 

Anyway, I am getting off-tracked by the “What ifs” because if a kid was able to say that at the not yet ripe age, they would have been pretty much been an adult already..

SO anyways by looking after yourself as an adult..would include many things as mentioned above.

it is hard to prioritise these topics as they all inter-relate and affect one another.

  1. Mental Health

    What is the point of having lots of money, a fantastic partner/lover, great job and family, fame or fortune .if inside you are slowly dying and ready to leave this world? often this aspect is forgotten and neglected because it can’t be seen from the outside like a physical illness or diagnosed by some CT or MRI scans… This is a very private and individual. We can look after our mental health by sleeping well. eating well, not taking on too much on our plates and taking time to relax each day and meditate!! If we are really feeling like we are slipping into depression or not being able to sleep due to anxiety, maybe it is time to see a doctor or psychologist to work on ways to have a healthier mental health.

2. Physical Health

If your physical health is poor, this can often lead to poor mental health and the opposite is true as well. For example, one who has migraines…a physical manifestation of stress induced anxiety due to high pressure at works. Their constant diarrhea and constipation cycling could be due to stress and anxiety..Often we go to the doctor’s when we get physical manifestation, but often the cause can be more of a mental one, when those mental stressors are gone or lessened, we find that we are at a much better physical health as well.

3. In addition to that it is important to make sure we are eating healthily and trying to minimise the amount we have of junk foods and over processed foods. It is better to try have as much raw and fresh food as possible…i.e. simple fresh  vegetables and fruits..i.e. instead of a fruity yogurt , which has the addition of processed sugars, but every now and then as a treat is fine! Try to choose the most healthiest option when eating out…because even though it might cost more, it is your health at stake if you choose the more fatty but cheaper option..Be smart with your money though! You shouldn’t hopefully be going out too often to eat if you have read the previous post.  it is not so much about cutting out foods, but choosing wiser and better choices instead! Soon you will find that you really do not crave those $2 KFC chips anymore…because you would rather have a sushi roll in which you not feel guilty for. These healthier choices can improve your skin, energy levels and hair! So why not choose healthy if you can? Sometimes eating healthy might mean you have to do your own groceries, so that you can have access to healthy snacks like nuts and dried fruits (if your family is like mine and have a dad and brother who are in love with junk foods). Also, trying cooking with things like “Hello Fresh” helps you learn new skills and makes cooking funner and easier to pick up.

4.  Exercising to be Healthy

This is quite a big topic and hence i am giving its own paragraph … we also need to make sure we try exercise 3 to 4 times a week on average with 30 minutes a day. This doesn’t mean we have to hit the gym for all of those days.. it could mean walking around for half an hour on your lunch break or taking a stroll in your neighborhood and getting 10k of steps…or it could be playing a sport of your choice or doing some hip hop classes! as long as you are moving, that is all that matters! You will find by exercising that your endorphin levels rise and people with depression get improved mood, I can vouch for this myself. If you have a chance, get a pet that you can walk! I.e. Dog or a cat … dogs need to be walked daily, this helps get you out of the house and moving! Cleaning the house can also be counted as exercise! SO that kills birds with one stone!

Another benefit of exercise is that you can use this activity to make new friends or bond with existing friendships! What better way to keep in touch, than by exercising and encouraging one another to exercise and stay fit?

5. Spiritual Health

i know for some people they may not feel like this is an important, but I do feel like each person has some sort of belief that there is a greater God out there who created this earth. If you are a deep thinker like me, you can spend days, years contemplating life and get lost in the sea…I do not recommend this! But, it is good to accept that things are sometimes the way they are and turn out for the better, due to the planning of  God up there. It gives us peace in this world of unknown, I could be wrong, but what have I lost for believing that there is someone in charge and who is looking down at me ?

If anything it gives me comfort to my anxiety… When our spiritual health is good, it affects both my mental and physical health as well..as I said inter-related and when I reach out to people, I feel like I am investing in heavenly treasures and doing something positive for the world and to IMPACT this world I am in every way I can.

 

6. Social Health

This is going to be the last one , because I am tired and i don’t want to sleep too late:P
It is important to keep in touch with your friends! Not only for your sake, but also to make sure that they are okay. I am not telling you to contact your 1000 facebook friends everyday to make sure they are okay… But keeping close tabs on your closer circle friends. I feel like as I have grown older, my circle of friends has grown smaller. I mean you could see that as a bad thing, because maybe you aren’t getting as many likes on your instagram or Facebook posts as before, however, as I have grown older, I felt like these things were meaningless now. What I rather do is have personal conversations and share moments of my life directly with those who I care about and not just have randoms I don’t even speak to in real life like my photos…By deactivating my facebook and making a new one , I downsized my previously 700 friends to about 20 odd ones, the people I actually want to see what is happening in their lives and I want them to see mine.

Things become so impersonal, but when you are sick, when you are tired and need help, what is the point of having 700 superficial friends who don’t give a damn about you when you need help? They only like you when they need you…

I am seeing the importance of not only keeping tabs on family and making sure they are okay, but also those close and important friends around me…it doesn’t matter if we don’t physically get to see each other due to distance, but at least I want us to keep in contact even via skype of message. Yes, i am guilty of sometimes taking ages to reply, but I always do reply eventually.. because you are important to me and that is why I will do my best to keep it that way.

Concluding comments:

If you have stumbled across this blog, you are already one step ahead and a great friend of mine!

 

Follow on for more updates, I am going to try write at least one blog a week, if you have any suggestions for topics related to adulthood, feel free to leave a comment below.

 

Till next time Amigos!